"Ladies and gentlemen- your winner is... KELLY!"
As the club erupted in loud cheers and yells, Kelly yelled out a triumphant "Yeah!" and struck one of hte many sexy poses in her repertoire. She definitely had the kind of body that'd draw every heterosexual male eye in the place, and it was made even more alluring by the brief, tight policewoman costume she wore during her performances.
Her tiny teenaged opponent fumed as she watched the whole lurid spectacle. Shorty just couldn't understand. What could the judges have been THINKING! She'd practiced for WEEKS for this! Her routine had been flawless!
She ducked backstage in a huff, followed shortly by Kelly. "Tough break, short stuff," the tall, shapely dancer said. "But you've REALLY gotta learn how to size up your audience."
"What are you talking about?" snapped Shorty.
"Oh, your moves are great- the kids eat that cute stuff up. But come on- didn't you notice the judges? All guys, all over 20? Your 'sugar' angle's all well and good, but nothing wins THAT crowd over like a little spice." She punctuated her point with a smooth swerve of her hips.
"What-EVER. You just got lucky this time."
"Hey, I'm game for a rematch whenever you are, kiddo! Just let me get my encore out of the way first!" Kelly blew Shorty a kiss and took the stage once again for her victory dance.
Shorty was still pondering Kelly's advice on the long walk home. "Maybe she's got a point, Columbo."
As he heard his name, Shorty's pet mouse poked his fuzzy brown head out of the bib pocket of Shorty's big, baggy overalls. He glanced up at Shorty with an inquisitive squeak.
"We're almost home- I'll fix you something to eat when we get there." She sighed and kicked at a rock on the sidewalk in mid-step. Whenever she won dance match, she and Columbo would take half the prize money and gorge on candy.
Maybe Kelly was right; maybe Shorty DID need to expand her repertoire, to spice it up a bit. "Or maybe they just liked her costume more. Pervs."
Still, she had to admit- the policewoman costume was much more preferable to the rubber baby jumper Kelly had worn during the LAST Bust-a-Move tournament.
As she passed a newsstand, a magazine on display caught Shorty's eye. Partially due to the bright yellow cover, designed to look as if the book was covered in police warning tape, but mostly because of the figure on the cover- a photo of Kelly, her policewoman cap drawn low over her eyes and her butt thrust directly at the camera. Shorty picked it up and read the title: "The Kelly Dossier- Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About the Dancing Policewoman."
"Oh come on- Kelly has her own fanzine now?" Shorty felt yet another wave of jealousy- sure, after the last tournament, she'd discovered that several "artists" had made her the subject of a comic book, but when she'd tried to buy a copy, the owner of the comic shop told her she wasn't old enough. Weird.
Thumbing through the magazine, Shorty was assualted with pointless fact after pointless fact- Kelly's biography, hobbies, favorite food (peach pie with whipped cream), favorite color (blue), favorite movie (Mistress of Disguise III), favorite band (Indigo Girls)- five pages in, Shorty couldn't help feeling that she already knew way more than she really wanted about Kelly's personal life. But that wasn't what Shorty found herself concentrating on.
All these pointless facts and tidbits were nestled amongst photos of Kelly performing her routines. Some segments were practically frame-by-frame dissections of her best moves!
This... yeah, this could come in handy. She paid for the magazine and ran all the way home. Kelly would be getting that rematch- and Shorty planned to fight spice with spice.