Hey, well, this is a spin off of my story, Hush Little Sister.
Happy Kitty, if you're reading this I feel I need to explain. I really did want to write that story, but our comp crashed, so I'm writing this from my friends house. 5,275 words went down the drain. It basically killed me. I am in no condition to write, which is why I shall be writing this depressing little one-shot.
Basically, while I've been at my friends, I have been trying to write up more, but it comes out so shitty that I want to claw my eyes out. No one should have to read the gay ass shit I write.
So, I've become addicted to X-Men fanfics. Rogue/Remy. And until our computer is fixed, I cannot write. Well, not happy shit anyway.
Well, belle femmes, and hommes, all though doubtfully, here is the story, spun off of Hush Little Sister.
I don't want to live
To waste another day
Underneath the shadow of mistakes I made
Cause I feel like I'm breaking inside
I don't want to fall and say I lost it all
Cause baby there's a part of me to hit the wall
Leaving pieces of me behind
And I feel like I'm breaking inside.
I walked with Jasper, along the same trail we would always follow. I reached for his hand, his hands shoved themselves deeply inside of their pockets. Almost angrily. It was angrily.
He come to an abrupt stop, the unexpectedness making me crash into his shoulder. He jerked away from the contact as if I had poison skin. I looked into his eyes. His bright blue eyes, always so happy. So patient, so ready to let me cry on his shoulder.
Those same eyes were staring me down. Glaring. Showing nothing other than disgust and hate. My heart started to beat faster and faster. I could feel it as if it was a punch each time. Desperate to snap my ribs, escape my body.
I felt confused, and hurt. Extremely hurt. Why was he looking at me like that? What had I done wrong? I heard him sigh, a frustrated sigh. It drew my attention back to him.
"Why do you even dress like that? Rose is dead, she isn't coming back." He said bluntly, gesturing to my tight black mini dress, covered by Rose's favourite hoody. The dress stopped mid thigh, but I had dark black stockings under the dress, my feet stuffed into one of my converse shoes, and one of Rose's.
"Because you like the dress." I told him, my voice somewhat shaky. He ran a hand through his hair. I reached out to touch him again.
His eyes snapped open and he stood back, out of my reach.
"You wear her shit all the fucking time. Do you think you can some how morph yourself into her? She's dead, Bella. Your sister, Rosalie Hale, is fucking dead!" A sick, twisted smirk came upon his angelic features.
My stomach twisted, my throat suddenly aflame, the tears pricking my eyes as I blinked furiously, pushing them back.
"Listen," He started, shoving his hands back in his pockets. "I don't love you. Honestly? I never have. Each time you touched me, I wanted to die. You make me sick, Bella. Absolutely sick. You're pathetic. You know how people say you close you're eyes when you kiss, when you touch?" He paused, as if to gauge my reaction.
I didn't know what to do. I was frozen. Rooted to the spot. I wanted to die right now. I nodded dumbly.
"I closed my eyes to try and get your face out of my head. I would just imagine you were Alice. It was so easy. Truth is, you repulse me. Always have, always will."
A sob was trying to snap through my throat. I pushed it down as much as I could, but by now, the tears were falling.
"You. Repulse. Me." He repeated, as if wanting to get a reaction. I felt my knees starting to buckle, but I refused to be the patheic girl he had painted so effortlessly in my mind. I shook my head stubbornly.
"You don't mean that." I started, but a sob broke through. I clamped my mouth shut, afraid of another sob.
"I hate you, Bella. You're too pathetic. Not good enough for me. You're whole little suicide talk the other day," He paused, he pulled out a pocket knife from his jeans. Tossing it at me. "Go through with it. The world will be a better place without you here. Even the newspaper won't write about your death." He chuckled darkly.
I watched as he turned his back on me. Walking away. Laughing the whole time.
I was pathetic. I fell to the ground, pulling my knees against my chest, wrapping my arms around them, trying to somehow comfort myself. I rocked back and forth as the sobs choked me and the tears drowned me. That knife was mocking me. His last message.
Jasper wanted me gone.
I repulsed him. Another sob tore through my body. Ripping me apart.
He dumped me before Rose died, but after she died, he took me back. I guess he couldn't resist breaking me all over again.
Another sob. I choked on this one. Happily choking, desperately hoping I would die. The knife was right there.
3 hours passed, it started to rain. I remained in the same place. Shivering, holding myself together. Failing..
I gave up. Right then and there. I was used. I was repulsive. I wasn't good enough.
I've wasted everything. I wasted all my time on Jasper. I let myself get tossed aside by him. I let myself be the last person he cared about. He didn't care at all, but I had fooled myself in to thinking he did.
If I made it through today, this day, I had a feeling me death would be horrible. And I would welcome it. Because, I deserved it.
The happiest day of my life would be the day that I died. The day I would see my sister again.
I screamed out in frustration, in horror, in sadness. In everything. Why scream? No one is listening. The voice in my head was almost teasing me.
Why did I care so much? Why didn't I just not care at all? I could feel the life, that small spark, all that I had left, leaving my system. Replacing it with a horrible, cold feeling. I wanted to be numb. But numbness never took me. I wasn't good enough for that, either.
I grabbed the knife, flicking out the blade. I drew the sleeve up and cut deeply, severing the vein. The blood flowed out happily. It was eager to leave me too.
I woke in a dark room. My room. My wrist hurt like a fucker. I remembered cutting it, so deep to die. I guess death was repulsed by me, too. Isn't it sad, how even death avoids me?
I thought I could leave.
I can hear the monsters car.
I close my eyes, relishing when I finally feel the numbness taking over.
Funny, I never thought I would die alone. Or maybe I knew I would. Give it another few months, and I won't even be a memory. I'll be forgotten. I had nothing more to give. There was nothing else any one could take.
They'll never see me again.
Review, tell me how you liked it, or didn't like it.
I'm not going to beg for reviews. Leave one if you want, or don't.
Inspired by Friend, Always. By Rebellious Rogue.