"I think the answer's pretty obvious." Dov started, not turning to look at his friend and roommate. They hadn't been alone very long, Denise only having left minutes ago. Perhaps it wasn't the best timing, but Dov had just gathered his thoughts enough to try to vocalize them.
"What's that?" Chris feigned distraction, trying to look like he was focused on the television in front of them.
"You can't propose to Denise." It was what Dov had been saying ever since he found out that Chris was thinking about such a commitment. He'd basically been telling Chris he'd be throwing his life away, wasting what was left of his youth. Telling his friend there were so many women he would never have the chance to be with. He hadn't yet managed to say aloud the real reason he didn't want his fellow rookie cop to get married. Until very recently he hadn't been able to admit it to himself.
Apparently he wasn't quite ready to say it to Chris, either. He held up a hand against the other man's half-formed indignation and stalled. "I'm just saying. You're with a girl who looks like that for over seven years, and you don't know right away if you want to marry her or not? Maybe that's your answer."
A bit of the tension drained out of Chris' body. The corners of his lips quirked in a smile. "Is this the part where you start talking about the flight attendants again? I think that's my favorite part."
Dov rolled his eyes. Chris was thoroughly convinced that he was lying about the women he'd met the other night. It wasn't entirely a lie. They were real women. They really were flight attendants, and he really had slept over.
Of course, he'd failed to mention that he'd slept on the couch. That was after drinking rather more than he usually would have and spilling his guts to two women he hardly knew. It was when he had managed to tell them about his feelings for his very taken, very male roommate that he thought he would be able to say something about that subject to the person whom it concerned. Somehow it was even harder than he expected.
Chris sighed, leaning back. "I just don't know what's changed. Things were always so easy between Denise and I, we hardly ever had any problems... Now I can't commit to her after seven years, and I don't even have a reason. I feel like a jerk."
Dov moved just a little bit closer to him. "Things change. People change."
Chris pouted. "I didn't change."
Dov was fairly certain that Chris had changed, that there was something more between the two of them than simple friendship. If he was wrong, well... He didn't want to think about that. It was time to go for broke.
"You were worried about me the other night. I don't know if you stayed up all night cleaning because of that, or because you were so torn up about Denise or what... I've been imagining it was because of me, though." The words came out in a rush, like air coming out of a balloon. Dov knew that if he didn't keep forcing them out, one after the other, that they would get lodged somewhere in his throat. "You're the reason I didn't come home. I was just drunk enough to worry that if I came home and saw you, I didn't know what I might do."
Chris had remained silent and almost motionless while Dov spoke, though his mouth hung open in surprise. Dov was glad to see he had his friend's attention, that for the moment the other man's eyes were locked on him.
Whatever he had been about to say next left Dov's mind when he reached out, placing a finger under Chris' chin and lifting gently to close his mouth for him. Chris sat very still, though he didn't cringe away when Dov's finger lingered a little too long.
Dov pulled his hand away and let it ball into a fist. "Maybe you should marry Denise, maybe I shouldn't have said anything. I just know if I'd let you go off and do thatwithout telling you how I feel, I always would have regretted it, would have wondered... Maybe that would have been better."
Chris took a moment to fidget. For another moment after that, Dov wasn't sure what had happened. The cushion of space between himself and Chris that he had been longing to close was suddenly nonexistent. Dov wondered if his senses had temporarily left him, if his body had made one last desperate, primal attempt to convey his feelings.
It was then that he noticed the arm about his waist, the warm fingers splayed across the small of his back. He was so firmly pressed against the other man's body because apparently, that was where he was wanted. Chris was still staring at him with that searching, penetrating gaze. Something about having those eyes on him was more intimate to Dov than the way their bodies were fitting together at that very instant.
"I'm so glad you said something... I never would have. I was scared, when I started having these feelings they were so... I've never been with anyone but Denise..." Chris was blushing, unsure of himself. He fell silent and Dov didn't feel the need to talk. They would have plenty of time to talk later.
They could have been like that for any length of time, crushed together and trying to figure one another out. Dov wasn't sure who made the first move after that, but somehow his lips joined Chris' in a very tame, chaste kiss that still managed to send a shiver down his spine.
It lived up to every one of his expectations. In that instant, Dov's mind was blissfully unaware of everything but the warm body next to him and how it felt under his hands, under his lips. All he knew was that he had a thorough exploration to complete before any more words passed between them.
The next conversation Dov had with Chris Diaz took place the next morning.