Rating: K+

Spoilers: Takes place Season 2 sometime before Critical Mass

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or Stargate: Atlantis

A/N: Please leave reviews. They are always welcome.


Because He Made Miko Cry...and Broke Batman

It was Radek who found the petite Japanese scientist crying at her desk. His thoughts immediately went toWhat did McKay do this time. "Miko, what is wrong? What did McKay do this time?"

She sniffled back a few tears and wiped her nose with the sleeve of her jacket, "Not him. The evil ponytailed one."

Zelenka sighed, "Kavanagh?" The only person on in the city that was a bigger pain in the ass than Rodney. "What happened?"

Miko twisted her hands, "He came in here yelling. He blamed me for telling Dr. McKay that he was the one who broke Dr. McKay's bat toy that he had by his computer. Peter said he would make me pay and that I should watch my back."

Radek scowled, thinking Kavanagh had gone too far with his actions, but he did witness the shouting match between the two men. Kavanagh might have an acid tongue, but it was no match for Rodney's and the department head had given it real good to the other man the previous day.

The highlight of the fight for the Czech was when Peter threatened to file a grievance against his boss for creating a hostile work environment, Rodney responded by saying the SGC would send him a pack of diapers and a pacifier because they already knew what a sniveling baby he already was.

"I will talk to Kavanagh. He should not be making threats like that," he looked up in time to see Rodney enter the lab.

"What?" McKay saw the look Radek was giving him. "Had a senior staff meeting." He then looked over and saw Miko's red eyes, "I didn't do it. I swear. I was in meetings all morning."

"It was Kavanagh," the woman spoke up, drying her eyes. "He threatened me. He thought I was the one who told you he broke your bat thing."

"But you weren't," Rodney pointed out. The long-haired man annoyed him more than anyone on the expedition and it took a lot to have that distinction. "Go. Take the rest of the day off. We will deal with him," he looked over to his second in command.

"Thank you. You are too kind," Miko was relieved that her boss was being generous. He had a hot and cold personality with her; one day he was condescending and the next he was nice. "Thank you again," she bowed before leaving the room.

"Are you feeling alright?" Radek asked, shocked that Rodney was offering to help one of his subordinates.

Rodney made a face, "I'm fine. Why?"

"You offered to help. That is not you," Zelenka eyed his some-what of a friend carefully.

"He made her cry…." he started. "And he broke my Batman figurine. Do you have any idea how much that thing cost me?"

A light went off in the engineer's head. The ulterior motive; he broke something of Rodney's and now he wanted revenge. "What do you have planned?" he asked, almost afraid to do so.

"I have an idea," the Canadian turned to his computer with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"I don't like that look. You usually are up to no good."

Rodney waved him off, "It will be fine. He needs to be taught a lesson. He isn't me and can't get away with doing the things I do."


From: Dr. Rodney McKay

To: Science Dept. (All)

BCc: Lt. Col. John Sheppard

Subject: Reassignment of Dr. Peter Kavanagh

Dear Staff,

It has come to my attention that Dr. Kavanagh takes great delight in threatening and making the women of my staff cry. It is with a heavy heart that I have to announce the reassignment of Dr. Kavanagh to Junior Lab Technician. His new duties will include the cleanup of any and all lab accidents. Don't worry if you spill anything, he will be there to clean it up. I'm sure you all would agree these are tasks best suited for his personality. Please join me in congratulating Peter on his new position. I am sure he will excel in this new endeavor.

Sincerely,

Dr. Rodney McKay


After he was done typing the email he showed Radek, "That should quiet him for a while. I BCced Sheppard. He'd get a kick out of this."

"Or have him running here faster than the speed of light. You know you can get in trouble for this," Radek pointed out.

Rodney shrugged, "But I won't. There isn't a single person on this base that would not be amused by this. Besides it is not like he is really getting a demotion. He is lucky I am only sending it to this department. Next time he steps out of line I will make sure he is sent back to Earth. Is it wrong for me to wish that the Wraith would cull him?"

Zelenka shrugged, "I don't know. That might be a little too dramatic."

McKay turned back to his computer and typed up a second email.


From: Dr. Rodney McKay

To: Dr. Peter Kavanagh

BCc: Lt. Col. John Sheppard

Subject: Your Demotion

Peter,

Before you come in whining to me, lord knows it is what you do best, let my previous email serve as a warning. There is very good reason why I am the boss and you are not. I am smarter and more talented than you could ever dream to be. Next time you step out of line and threaten one of my staff again I will make sure you are thrown through the stargate, back to Earth head first. Touch any of my personal property again and you will be working the night shift for the next two years. Yes, that is something I do have the power to do.

Dr. Rodney McKay


"See," Rodney pointed to the second email. "Let him know where he stands. He can't break my Batman and get away with it…and he can't go around threatening women, even if he looks like one."

Radek looked over the second email, "You are covering yourself. That's good. Remind me to never get on your bad side."

"I don't have a bad side," McKay frowned. "I am always like this."

"My point exactly," Zelenka patted Rodney's shoulders before walking away.