01 - Comfort

He'd maybe overreacted, and okay, maybe he'd had a bit of an angry fit, and maybe there had been no reason to drink all that rum and then proceed to yell at Usami, but there was still the small consolation that the man, despite all the abuse, still held his shoulders as he emptied his stomach into the toilet.

02 - Kiss

His fingers clung and he pressed close, opening his mouth in what could only be eagerness, as much as he would deny it later.

03 - Soft

Sleepy eyes filled with annoyance blinked at him, "Usagi-san, don't you dare," Misaki warned, but the man only grinned like a Cheshire cat as he let his hand wander, "Oh, but you're already like this," he hummed, enjoying the way Misaki flushed, fists bunching in the soft sheets as he bit his lip, all in the fruitless effort not to look completely fuckable.

04 - Pain

Misaki watched Usami flinch away in pain, trying to conceal the hurt unsuccessfully, and he realized how much power he held, despite ever thinking otherwise; "I don't love you," he'd said, and when he woke from his dream, he vowed never to speak those words as long as he lived, and he knew with a type of unwavering certainty that he would never have to, nor would he ever want to.

05 - Potatoes

He liked cooking with potatoes, and sometimes before he peeled them, he would carve Usami's face into the vegetable and laugh.

06 - Rain

Caught in the rain without a car (because of Usami's insistence that it was nice enough to walk) Misaki complained about being wet and cold, so Usami valiantly took the complaint to heart, crowding against the smaller body, lavishing kisses everywhere and sliding his hands over goose pimpled flesh, causing Misaki to warm up substantially as he weakly choked out "not h-here, dumby!" in perfect indignant lust, maybe a little, secretly, shamefully thankful for the rain.

07 - Chocolate

Misaki always made sure to eat chocolate in front of Usami, because he knew the man would invariably stoop down and pry his lips open, initiating the kind of lingering, sticky, wet, and messy kiss that Misaki invariably craved as much as the sweets.

08 - Happiness

"I think," Misaki mumbled into a sleeping Usami's chest, "I'm happy;" he was terrified in an enthralling way by how true it was.

09 - Telephone

When Misaki heard Usami's voice on the phone after so long of being apart, all he wanted to scream was "I miss you, come and get me, you stupid idiot, please," but he didn't dare.

10 - Ears

"I love you," Misaki said, and Usami knew then for certain that he would rather lose his sight, his limbs or even his voice instead of ever losing his hearing, because he didn't really care about the cliché of saying something without speaking - he would always want to hear Misaki say it.

11 - Name

Nine months, nine months they'd been forced to be apart, and Misaki had broken down one evening and bought a rabbit; holding it to his chest as he bequeathed the creature with the most important name there was; "Usagi-san," he whispered, laughing weakly even as he started to sniff and sob.

12 - Sensual

"Come closer," Usami said, and Misaki scowled as he obeyed, unable to resist.

13 - Death

The nightmares sometimes made it so that every time he closed his eyes he saw a bloody steering wheel and mangled steel, and somehow he must've been ridiculously transparent, because Usami would ruffle his hair and curl around him, reminding him of life.

14 - Sex

Misaki didn't need it (of course not!), but then again, he sometimes found himself becoming mysteriously impatient and short when the idiot didn't touch him as often as usual because of his work.

15 - Touch

He didn't think that it was normal or healthy that skilled fingertips alone could send him into fits of desire in which he couldn't help but squirm closer, even as he whined, "don't touch there, pervert!"

16 - Weakness

He didn't want to be a burden to Usami, anything but that…and yet as time went on he wondered if he could ever detach himself - he only had to look at his face to know he was doomed, to know he just couldn't do it and so he mentally cursed the idiot for making him selfish and weak.

17 - Tears

The first time he realized exactly how much he loved Usami, he'd cried fat crocodile tears, chest heaving with the palpitations of his heart, pounding out the fierce rhythm of Usagi-san, Usagi-san, Usagi-san

18 - Speed

It wasn't as though Misaki liked things rough, but sometimes (just sometimes!) he needed Usami to go fast, because he couldn't take another god damn minute without that idiot inside him and moving and holding him.

19 - Wind

Usami bought a brand new red convertible because "he wanted to feel the wind in his hair," but things were never so simple with him, and it wasn't long until Usami was christening the back seat with a very reluctant (but utterly helpless) Misaki - to this day, he couldn't sit in the back seat without his face turning as red as a tomato.

20 - Freedom

Despite Usami's constant chatter about wanting to lock him up, Misaki had never felt so completely free than when he was with the idiot.

21 - Life

Misaki didn't know exactly what he wanted to do with his life, but in those quiet annoying moments, he was sometimes able to admit to himself that he wanted to do it with Usami always beside him.

22 - Jealousy

In particular, Usami liked to stand just a little too close to pretty women, letting them flirt and sometimes flirting back, just to see the vivid (beautiful) spark of jealousy in Misaki's eyes, and to relish the way his sweaty, possessive hands would grip his arm to tug him away under the pretense of wanting to go to "that store over there" at the opposite end of the mall.

23 - Hands

Usami had cold hands, and though they induced fine tremors and chilly shivers, Misaki found that he didn't mind all that much, especially because those hands made him warm inside.

24 - Taste

People always told Misaki that it was all about personal taste, but all he knew was that Usami tasted like everything he ever wanted.

25 - Devotion

He wasn't able to understand the absolute devotion Usami gave his body, but Misaki was never one to turn his nose up at something he didn't understand, especially if he secretly loved it.

26 - Forever

He tried not to get his hopes up, and he tried to be realistic - maybe it wouldn't last forever - but Misaki desperately wanted it to, and he sometimes caught himself in this fervent, pathetic wish and he wasn't sure which he wanted to do more, cry or laugh or cuddle with the idiot in the hopes that if they pushed and squished close enough, they'd be melded and nothing could separate them.

27 - Blood

He hadn't realized how much the red jelly might look like blood, and so Usami didn't understand why the jar he'd spilled all over his shirt had first made Misaki cry and then sob angrily when he found out it was just edible and strawberry flavored, "y-you idiot, clumsy dope, you s-sca-" but after he'd spoken realization dawned and he quickly hugged the flustered boy, getting jelly everywhere.

28 - Sickness

He didn't really mind when Usami tried to take care of him, in fact, he appreciated the awkward, fumbling motions, even if it was nothing more than a cool hand feeling his heated forehead every couple of hours.

29 - Melody

"I can't sing," Misaki scowled, resolutely looking away, because of course Usami's definition of singing constituted the chorus of moans and whimpers and groans; "Oh yes, you can, but you must promise to never sing for anyone but me," and Misaki said something mean, thinking I made that promise a long time ago, moron.

30 - Star

Usami said corny things like 'you're my star' but Misaki was somehow able to look past the cheesiness, because he loved the way he said my.

31 - Home

Misaki fell asleep in Usami's bed, with the idiot holding him carefully and tightly, and their bodies were still slick and sticky, but as the heat abated and sleepiness took over, the boy felt he was where he belonged.

32 - Confusion

"Why?" Misaki asked mistrustfully, as he gazed uncertainly at Usami, who held a bottle of chocolate fudge, a canister of whipped cream, handcuffs, and a rubber ducky.

33 - Fear

Misaki was scared of a lot of things: cactuses, killer apes, The Kan being cancelled, but most of all he was terrified of ever losing Usami.

34 - Lightning/Thunder

He'd never been particularly fond of the rain, because it made the roads slippery and the world seem sad, but even so the banging and clattering and booming of the blood roaring in his ears reminded him of lightning in its intensity, and the resulting cry, the loud climax was so similar to thunder and as Usami breathlessly said, "I love you," the rain outside the window didn't seem so bad.

35 - Bonds

Aikawa didn't make a sound, enjoying to sight in front of her: Usami bent over a writhing body as his fingers worked mercilessly; "Usagi-san, stop it you dumbass, ah!" and then Misaki dissolved into helpless laughter as his partner tickled him - but best of all was how they kissed suddenly, how the boy's hands pretended to push the other away even though he closed his eyes and titled his face - and she finally crept away when Misaki started to make gooey honey sounds, trying to keep her jubilant giggles to herself.

36 - Market

To celebrate four years together, and four years of being off the market, Usami had bought him a large, triple scoop strawberry ice cream cone (because he knew Misaki would loathe anything too fancy) and Misaki had smiled faintly, offering to share by balancing on tiptoes and kissing Usami shyly with some of the melted treat still on his tongue (because he knew it was just the type of thing the pervert would like...and because he wanted to).

37 - Technology

"There is some wonderful stuff out there, Misaki, there are toys of all kinds so that next time I'm away and you're lonely you can just-" "Shut up Usagi-san!"

38 - Gift

Instead of buying him something that would never be good enough (especially with his budget) Misaki told Usami to stay very still before quickly kissing him on the lips, willing himself to stay still after the chaste exchange even though he wanted to run.

39 - Smile

Seeing Usami's smile, as it turns out, had been entirely worth it.

40 - Innocence

Misaki liked to think that Usami had stolen his innocence, he liked to accuse and blame, but he sometimes thought all his innocence would vanish the day he was faced with something or someone that effectively prevented him from staying by Usami's side no matter how he pleaded or struggled.

41 - Completion

Misaki hugged him, too exhausted to check himself for the mushy behavior, "Stupid Usagi-san."

42 - Clouds

"I think it looks like a rabbit," Misaki said, "Really? It looks nothing like me," and the boy tried not to laugh because it was a stupid joke, but it still made him want to grin and guffaw stupidly.

43 - Sky

Misaki had never been on a plane before, and though he tried not to let his nervousness show (and was a petulant, snappy brat for the entire ride), he was so grateful to Usami when he held his hand during takeoff…and for most of the flight.

44 - Heaven

For writing such amazing material, Usami was certain he would go to heaven, if only for providing some goodly entertainment to lost souls.

45 - Hell

Misaki knew without a doubt that Usami was going to hell for writing such perverted stuff, and he also knew he was going to hell right along with him for actually reading some of the books.

46 - Sun

Why Usami always insisted on having sex whenever he felt like it, Misaki wasn't sure, but he always resented it most during the day; he hated the sunlight that made his blushing cheeks so visible, he hated the sun for taking away his last hiding tactic, for leaving him completely exposed and inescapably, painfully obviously in love.

47 - Moon

Misaki often wondered what he wouldn't give for just a week of peaceful sex free nights, but when his wish was miraculously granted he found his nights were even less peaceful than normal (embarrassingly) and when he realized how bad he had it, he angrily shouted insults at the moon, as if it were to blame.

48 - Waves

Usami quickly caught on to how much Misaki hated waving goodbye, so the few times he had to go away, he kissed him deeply instead with a whispered, "I love you," because Usami knew that life could be cruel, and he wanted to avoid making promises that, while meaning to reassure, might only hurt more later.

49 - Hair

Misaki's hands curled in his hair and he tugged mercilessly because Usami was moving just like that and touching him just like this and oh-

50 - Supernova

"..explosion resulting in a short lived-" "Misaki, are you describing yourself during sex?"


[edited/revised 5/23/11]

I had complete and unadulterated fun with this, so just keep that in mind. I'd also love to hear some feedback on how I did. Much love to you all, and happy Junjou-going! (also thank you to everyone who's been favoriting + reviewing my stuff lately, I appreciate you all so very much!)

ps, this is what writer's block looks like. my apologies for nothing but sentences this past while, guh