Well, hello! And Welcome to My Little World of Weirdness!
I state for the record that, despite the fact I really, really wish I did, I don't own any of the characters that will grace this story; it's all CLAMP's! Always has been, always will be! Also I don't pretend to have any Mastery over the language of Japanese or any clue as to correct grammatical structure. I put it in and hope it gets across the point I'm trying to make! Nor do I [thankfully] own the Nelvana theme tune, but I do own the lyrics to this fic!! And Yue-Bella, and Kero-ette, and several other characters, but I don't want to spoil the surprise yet!! Dubbers . . . flame me at your peril!! Subbers . . . let us gather by the fire and share a tale so terrifying . . . you'll be thanking Nelvana . . . MAH HA HA HA HA!!!
Whoops! Didn't Mean To Do That . . .
By Dr Megalomania.
[A Note about the style of this fic: try to imagine I'm telling it to you . . . 'cause that's the way it's written!]
[Cue CC Theme Tune and Manufactured Boy Band™]
What if, Hammer, Bounce, Hole, Swear, Unfinished, Stupid . . .
Cardcaptor of the Whoops,
Expect some unexpected stuff!
The Blunders of the Clow
Were all a huge mistake!
So when this crappy book was opened,
Someone shoulda dump 'em in the lake!
Cardcaptor, you gotta be kidding!
Cardcaptor, go track them down!
Each card was such a terrible mistake,
You've got to find them to make sure Clow saves face!
What if, Hammer, Bounce, Hole, Swear, Unfinished, Stupid . . .
Cardcaptor of the Whoops,
Expect some unexpected stuff!
Cardcaptor, you gotta be kidding!
Cardcaptor, go track them down!
Cardcaptor . . . dun dun do dodo!
[Cue senselessly dramatic music]
Part One: WHAT IF MEILIN WAS A CARDCAPTOR TOO?!
ONCE UPON A TIME – a ridiculously deep voice boomed.
"Okay . . . one more drink and then you *have* to do it!"
Clow's eyes crossed slightly as he tried to focus on the rapidly filling glass before him, "Do what?"
Yue smiled as he topped off Clow's glass then turned to do Keroberos, "That thing you *said* you would do . . ."
"Oh . . . that . . ." Clow didn't have a clue but he didn't really care.
Keroberos giggled, he was going to win this one he was sure of it, he lifted his tumbler, "Okay, one . . . two . . ." he paused and looked at his paws, "One . . . two . . ." he giggled as his paw swam out of focus, "What comes after two?"
Yue raised an eyebrow, and blinked slowly, his mouth hung open for a few seconds before he answer, "Four . . . I'm fairly sure it's four!"
"Okay! One . . . two . . ."
Yue held up his hand, "No wait, it's three . . ."
Keroberos looked at him, "Three what?"
Yue frowned, "Three. *Three* comes after two."
"Really?" Keroberos scrunched up his nose, "Are you sure?"
"Yes!" Yue swung his feet onto the table and tipped back in his chair, he laced his fingers together on his stomach, "You see . . . if you add one to two . . . you get three!" He was desperately trying to hold on to the logic of the situation, not to mention the table as he began to tip back dangerously.
Kero frowned, "But if you add two to three . . ." he swung his head around to Clow who, despite being very, very drunk, looked almost as happy as he did when he was stone sober. "What do you get if you add three to two?"
"A nice round orange ball!"
"Oh . . . okay . . . so after—" Keroberos frowned, "Ah, forget it! Bottoms up lads!!"
Clow stumbled into his study sometime later, Yue and Kero were fast asleep and Clow had been victorious! "Maha ha ha! I rule! I'm the man!!" he raised his arms and stomped around to his desk, he had, of course, just won the drinking contest. Yue . . . Clow snorted in amusement . . . light weight as he was, went down first, Kero had put up some really stiff competition but after that fifteenth vodka, his eyes rolled back in his head and he promptly fell off the bench.
Had Clow been a little less drunk, he might have been a little more concerned that both his guardians were out cold, either face down in a spilt glass of whiskey with cocktail flags sticking out of the back of his hair because Clow thought it would be intensely funny, or lying on their back, four paws up at the ceiling, snoring very loudly. But Clow wasn't, so he didn't, in fact he did a less that perfect victory dance, drank half a pint of bitter more, and stumbled off to do the thing he said he would do . . .
EARLY NEXT MORNING – The ridiculously deep voice boomed again, which made a very hung over Clow go attack it.
"Kero . . ."
" . . .Yue"
"Kero . . . what did we do last night?" Yue rasped, he could barely raise his head from the table; instead he was satisfied to breathe in the heady fumes of the drying spilt whiskey.
"I'm not entirely sure, Yue . . . do you think we sl-?"
"But we could have—"
"What about Clow?" Kero rolled off his back and groaned, if his head had legs than he would have sworn it was kicking him for getting into such a state.
"What was that?"
"Nothing . . . look, let's just go find him, you check the bedroom, and I'll check the study . . . no, wait . . . *I'll* check the bedroom . . . you check the study!"
"Just do it!"
"You have cocktail flags in your hair again . . ."
Clow, much to Yue's disappointment as it meant he didn't *happen* to catch his creator in the nude in his bed, was found in the study, face down and snoring healthily. Kero woke the mage up and went off to find Yue so they could fry up something to quell the awful hangovers they all experienced.
Clow gazed at the book he had been working on, it looked almost exactly like the Clow card book except . . . well, actually there wasn't any difference at all. He shrugged, and was about to get up when he noticed there was something on the floor; there was one last card just by his feet.
"Drat!" He muttered, as he picked up the forgotten card. He stared at it with barely concealed contempt. "This means I have to open the book up again and that'll take . . ." Clow slouched down in his chair and whined pathetically, he sniffed the air, and gasped, "Yue's making waffles!" His eyes darted from the door, to the book quickly as he tried to make a decision, he could stay here or get waffles, "Waste time opening stupid book . . . eat Yue's waffles . . . book? Waffles? What to do? What to do?!"
In the end, he tucked the errant card into the pages of the book, through the top so he wouldn't have to break the stupid seal. He cast one last glance at the book before he left the room, pausing as he thought about putting the book under a stronger seal, "Nah!" He shook his head, "I can't be bothered . . . besides NO ONE would be stupid enough to break the seal to *that* book . . . they'd have to be really stupid, and annoying! And . . . Chinese!" He turned and ran down the corridor, before Kero could eat all the waffles!
SEVERAL CENTURIES LATER – a strangely high-pitched voice squeaked.
Eriol sighed as he waved the feather duster over the bookshelf, his guardians were out and his friends were all busy in some way or another. He sighed again, he really shouldn't have to do manual stuff like this . . . he wouldn't have to if Kaho was here . . . but then he thought better than that. He had moved here because she was getting too creepy for him to bear.
And that, coming from Hiirawagizawa Eriol, had to mean something!
He would have sighed again had his eyes not fallen on a book that reminded him of the Clow book. He swung the feather duster under his arm and reached over to grasp the book. "Hmmm? I thought Fujitaka had this . . ."
The door slammed elsewhere in the house and a series of high pitched squeals and drunken hiccups up told him that his guardians had arrived home, Eriol chuckled and threw the book on to his Throne of Evil™. He'd deal with that after he had discovered how much sugar Suppi had been force-fed and exactly how large the new gaping hole in his finances was now Ruby had been allowed to go out with his credit card.
Ruby was still squealing happily to herself on the floor, and Suppi was in a drunken nap some time later, Eriol grooved into his study, he was grooving 'cause Ruby had hit the sales and had apparently not hit his bank account too hard. He was just sipping his lemon tea, lowering himself into the Throne of Evil™ and thinking about Tomoyo when his delicate British buttocks made contact with something pointy and inflexible.
Ruby screamed as Eriol's lemon tea splashed all over her new clothes, and Suppi was woken by his master's yelps of pain as the small teenager pranced about the place holding his backside.
"Whasssup?!" Spinel slurred, his tiny eyes not quite focusing on his prancing master.
"I tell you what's wrong! He just ruined all my clothes! Now I have to buy a whole new outfit . . . no, a whole new WARDROBE!" Ruby shrieked in fury. Eriol was still rubbing his tush when he plucked the strange book out of his chair, "Note to self . . . stop leaving potentially excruciating books in Throne of Evil™, has proven painful to self, must not do such a silly thing ever again!"
THE NEXT MORNING . . . WHICH INCIDENTALLY WAS A MONDAY MORNING . . . –reflected the loud deep voice again.
"Yuki!! Wait!! Yuki!!"
Touya ran after the grey haired student in front of him, just before he had dismounted the bike he thought he had seen Yuki duck into the building. This was weird because it was really early, and Touya was here because he had cleaning duties, and Yue had banned Yukito from going in early. //Guardian sure loves his sleep!// Touya smiled, as he spotted the grey haired student again, "Yukito!!" He called out as the student rounded a corner.
Touya jogged around the corner, and fell into the stopped grey haired student he had been chasing. "Sure gave me a run this morning," Touya joked as he helped his fellow fall victim up. He chuckled and pulled the person closer; he was just enjoying a quiet smooch, as his hands slid lower . . .
Touya's eyes widened as he felt Yuki's waist again, yes, yes . . . there WERE curves there. He stared at 'Yuki', the girl had his best friend's face, wide amber eyes, glasses, floppy hair, everything, the only difference was that the lips were slightly pinker. The girl blinked, as Touya's eyes searched her body, she had the exact same proportions as Yukito, same height, same width, everything! The only real difference was that this version of Yuki was female, and was wearing light pink lipstick, the girl's uniform, and . . . he checked her hair again, her hair was exactly like Yuki's too, except for a small blue moon shaped hair clip above her right ear.
"ARGH!!" Touya fell to the ground and scrambled away slightly in his shock!
The girl-Yuki chuckled, and again Touya was freaked out, //She sounds just like Yuki!// the girl bent over slightly, "Well, that was a nice welcome to a nice school." She smiled, and held out her hand, "May I help you up?"
"Who-who-who . . . who are you?!"
The girl smiled again, and reached into her bag, which was, yes, exactly like Yuki's, she pulled out a small handkerchief and dusted his jacket down, "I'm a new transfer student . . . I've just moved to Tomoeda with my granduncle and grandaunt."
"Oh . . ." Touya blinked a couple of times, this was very freaky . . . especially since this was almost exactly how he met Yuki . . . he had been chasing after a ghost and had run around a corner and bumped straight into Yuki.
The bell ran, signalling the cleaning students to their tasks. The girl smiled again and turned on her heel, "I have to go check in with the teacher . . . perhaps I'll see you around!"
Touya watched her receding character before turning away. "What a strange, strange day . . ." he smiled as he nodded once, "Eriol is a dead man . . ."
A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER – yawned the deep voice.
Yukito rested his back against the tree, it was lunchtime, his favourite time of day . . . next to breakfast, and dinner, and brunch, and elevenses, and tea, and that weird British thingy where they stop to have tea and crumpets at precisely four o'clock everyday and . . .
//Shut up about food!// Yue groused, Yuki chuckled as he entered into their mental conversation, //Why are you up? I'm bored and I can feel Keroberos around. Oh? He's with the mistress. You can call her Sakura, you realise. Well there's that and. . .// The two of them blinked as Touya came towards them, //Who the hell is that with To-ya?!//
The girl Touya had been dragging behind him stumbled slightly as the taller boy came to a stop; Yuki stared at her openly, and got to his feet. He took a bite out of the sandwich as he thought about why this girl was so strange, maybe it was because she was holding a similar sandwich in the same way, maybe it was because she mirrored his posture almost exactly, or maybe it was because she was the perfect clone of him in everyw—
Yukito started to choke as he realised what was wrong with the girl. The girl's eyes widened as she too realised what was so weird about this, the two of them started to choke on their identical foot long sandwiches. Touya glanced from one to the other, uncertain who to help first . . .
There was blip on his Nakuru-approaching-radar, normally this would evoke a rapid disappearing act from Touya, so fast it made Yue's and Kero's transformation seem like the wait for a train at a British train station, but today . . .
Nakuru just managed not to scream as Touya suddenly grabbed her and pulled her behind the bushes.
"My creator . . . look at 'em . . ."
Yuki and the grey haired girl glanced at each other, then at Nakuru and Touya who were staring at them, "This is too freaky . . ." Nakuru shook her finger at them slowly, "Even for my master . . . there's something really, really wrong about this . . ." she turned to Touya, "We have to go tell my master and the card mistress about it . . ."
Touya nodded slowly and turned to the grey haired, now bewildered girl, "In all the confusion I never caught your name . . . you are?" She asked quietly, her voice was, disturbingly, just like Yuki's . . .
Touya blinked, "My name is Kinomoto Touya . . ." he motioned at Nakuru and Yuki, "These are my friends, Nakuru and Yuki . . . and your name is?"
The girl smiled warmly at each of them before replying, "Tsukishiro, my name is Tsukishiro Yukito-Bella."
Nakuru's mouth fell open, and Yuki's eye twitched slightly, and Touya . . . Touya grabbed the girl and hauled her up.
Eriol leaned back against the tree, Tomoyo was dosing slightly in his lap, Sakura and Syaoran leant against each other next to him, he smiled, today was a very nice day indeed.
The ground shook slightly, Tomoyo sat up and gasped. Another tremor had Sakura bolting awake and Syaoran swearing slightly. The ground shook again and Eriol looked into a glass of water that happened to be beside him, the surface rippled, as the tremors got closer together. Kero floated out of Sakura's backpack and scratched himself tiredly, "What the hell's goin' on . . .?"
Three more tremors and the Tyrannosaurus Rex . . . I mean, Touya stood before them, clutching the arm of some helpless student. "In the bushes, now!" He growled at them.
"Wow . . . the resemblance is remarkable . . ." Eriol stared at the rather confused snow bunny-Bella.
"Remark on this, undo whatever spell you've cast!"
"Why do you insist on blaming me for every inexplicable, strange goings-on that happens whenever I'm near?" There was silence, "Oh come on! I was only doing it to help Sakura!"
There was a collective rolling of the disbelieving eyes and the group looked at Yukito-Bella, who kept glancing nervously at Kero. The guardian staring at her in real disbelief, he was shaking a paw at her and murmuring every few minutes, "He said he got rid of 'em . . ."
Yukito's eyes were crossed as he was in some internal debate with Yue, then he sighed sharply and stood. Yukito-Bella screamed and jumped to her feet as the transformation to place. "Oh my gawd!! What's happening to him?!!"
She fainted before Yue appeared . . . this was largely due to the fact Nakuru hit her on the back of the head with Eriol's bag. Eriol's guardian chuckled, "That was surprisingly easy . . ."
Eriol winced, "That would be because Spinel's in there too . . ."
Nakuru's eyes widened and she dropped to her knees and searched through Eriol's school bag frantically, she threw out his shorts, his P.E. Trainers, some of his maths book and the large Clow-card-book-clone before she got to her concussed brother.
Kero floated over to the strange Clow-card-book-clone, then glanced at the Yukito-girl-type-clone, then looked at Yue who nodded. They growled and glared at Eriol, who was rubbing his hand behind his head sheepishly. Eriol grinned, and Clow's voice filtered through, "I meant to do it . . ."
Li Meilin approached the little cache of magic people, she was growling to herself that Syaoran had left her behind again. Even though she and Syaoran had agreed to split up, and he was officially dating Sakura, old habits died hard and since she had only just moved back, she felt that he should at least try to make an effort.
She sighed; it was probably because they were discussing magic things again. She could only just make out Yue's large wings before there was a sharp blue glow and they disappeared. She sighed again, "What if I had magic . . .?"
Kero and Yue advanced ominously on Clow's half reincarnation, Kero growled, "You said, very clearly, you got rid of them . . ."
"Got rid of what?" Sakura asked nervously.
Yue's eyes narrowed, "We used to call them the Whoops, Didn't Mean To Do That cards . . ."
" . . . Just because every time Clow created one, he'd go . . . Whoops, didn't mean to do that . . ." Kero took another menacing step forward. Sakura and the rest of the group stared at them, and no one noticed that the strange Clow-card-book-clone starting to glow slightly on the ground. Touya scratch his head, "And your point is?"
"He said he had gotten rid of them!" The two guardians rumbled together. "They were just like Clow cards, only stupider . . ."
Meilin pushed her way through the bushes as she approached the distracted group, "What if Clow had created another book, with another set of cards . . .?"
Eriol's eyes widened as he listened to Meilin's little dialogue; "Wait!" He held up his hands and started to tremble slightly as Meilin got closer . . . she was saying the seal's breaking incantation. Yue and Keroberos swung around to look at her, then back at Eriol, Keroberos' eyes widened as he realised what she was saying, "You brought the book here . . . and she's saying the . . . but Clow said that . . ."
Yue was in a similar state of shock, "Clow said that whoever broke the seal had to be very stupid . . . and annoying . . . and Chinese . . . Wait! Meilin is . . ."
"Chinese . . ." Syaoran whispered.
"Annoying . . ." Keroberos murmured in fear.
"And. . . Stupid enough to break the seal!" Eriol cried as he tried to run forward and stop her before she said . . .
"AND WHAT IF I WAS THE CARDCAPTOR?!" Meilin yelled as she pushed herself through the branches.
"Eh oh . . ." Eriol whispered as he looked fearfully at the glowing Clow-card-book-clone-book. The lit tome started to float off the ground and shake, as everyone turned to look at it. In preparation, Keroberos and Spinel turned into their full cat forms and Ruby suddenly appeared, ready to take on what new evil that was about to spring forth from the depths of this glowing book. Beneath Meilin, Clow's magic circle began to form, it glowed bright gold then smouldered into bright crimson. A magic wind soon whipped up and Meilin was soon engulfed into the supernatural maelstrom, Meilin screamed before it suddenly broke off her and warped itself around the book.
The book exploded open and a dozen bright lights broke away, "Quick!" cried Eriol, "Catch them before they all escape!!!"
The group all scrambled forward but the only one successful enough to catch one was Meilin. She knelt by the book as she stared at it, the card looked exactly like a normal Clow card, and the card's spirit looked like your average Clow card's, Tomoyo sat beside her, "What is it?"
Meilin showed it to her, it had a girl on it, who held the Clow card cane, "It's the Magic Girl card . . ." she looked at the book, there was another card there, hastily shoved into the other pages. She plucked it out and looked at it, it had a rather gormless looking girl on it, who's finger was pressed against her bottom lips, thoughtfully, ". . .and this is the What If. . ."
Yue and Kero turned on Eriol as soon as the book had stopped spewing cards. "You said you got rid of them!"
Eriol chuckled, "Well, you see . . . I meant to do it . . ."
"You told us you destroyed them!"
"Well . . . I looked at the cards . . ."
"Yes . . .?" Yue and Kero nodded.
"And I thought about it . . ."
"Yes, yes . . .?"
"But basically I lied." Eriol laughed, and Kero and Yue glanced at each other before they burst into a fit of laughter too. Then they blinked slowly, Yue and Kero went crashing to the ground together. The pair jumped to their feet instantly and grabbed Eriol's collar.
Yukito-Bella groaned as she became conscious, although one look at Ruby –which was enough by itself – and Keroberos and Spinel, the poor girl fainted once again. "Probably for the best," muttered Touya, he turned to Eriol, "All right, explain, in clear, Ruby-Moon-friendly, terms what the hell has just happened . . ."
Keroberos suddenly yelped, making everyone turn and look at him, he gazed worriedly at the book, "If Yuki-Bella's here, that must mean---"
The book rumbled to life again and Sakura felt a strange pang of déjà vu as a strange glowing form rose from the book. Meilin gaped as Keroberos' form suddenly sprung up, the clone grinned, as she enthused, "KONNICHIWA!!"
Meilin screamed and shuffled back against Tomoyo, "Who are you?!"
The little gold guardian chuckled, "I'm Keroberos-ette!" She smiled, "Guardian beast-ette . . ." she did a cute little pirouette, " . . .of the Whoops!"
"Guardian beast-ette of the cards?"
"Hai!" The golden stuffed toy grinned and adjusted her little red ear clip, once the small sun was set to her liking she smiled at Keroberos. "Konnichiwa, my sweet identical twin brother!"
The lion swiftly returned to his smaller form and stood in front of this female version of his tiny self, "Where were you?"
"What do you mean?"
"The seal on this book has broken, why weren't you guardin' it?" He squinted at her, "You were asleep, weren't you?"
"I was not!" Kero-ette squeaked in the same Osaka accent as Kero, "I was off somewhere much more important!"
"Really? More important than guardin' the cards which have just *escaped*?"
The guardian beast-girl chuckled and looked at her paws, "I was just havin' my claws done and---" Kero-ette blinked, "What did you just say?" She ran around and picked the book up.
Sakura hit her head a couple of times to get rid of the feeling of déjà vu as the other guardian beast-ette of the seal did exactly as Kero had done when they first meet. Syaoran looked Eriol, "Why did you create two guardians that are exactly the same as Yue and Kero?"
"Well . . . to tell you the truth . . ."
Syaoran held up a hand and clutched his heart with the other. "Don't say that . . ."
"That you are going to tell me the truth . . . I haven't got life insurance . . ."
"Do you want me to tell you?" Eriol folded his arms and glared at his sniggering little descendant.
"Go on then."
"Well, the truth of the matter is . . ."
Syaoran shook his head, "On second thoughts . . . Just don't say *truth* . . . you and I both know that will kill me . . ."
"Shut up and let me explain, in all actuality . . . Clow was extremely drunk at the time . . . and lazy . . . and bored . . ."
Syaoran slapped his forehead, "Why can't you be like normal people and *doodle* when you're bored?"
After Kero-ette had gotten over the shock over the fact the Whoops cards had escaped . . .
"So, what happens now?" Sakura asked quietly, thinking that once again she'd have to capture a whole new set of cards.
"Whoever broke the seal has to retrieve the cards . . ." Kero-ette explained. All eyes fell on Meilin who protested again.
"But I don't have any magic!"
Kero-ette smiled knowing, "What did you say before you opened the book?"
"What if I had magic?"
"Yep! And thanks to the What If card you have it now!"
"But how does that work?"
Kero-ette shrugged, "I dunno, it just does!"
Everyone turned to Eriol, who cocked his head disapprovingly, "Don't look at me . . . the whole reason I got rid of those cards is because *none* of them make any sense!"
"And now she has to retrieve them . . . or something really *stinky* will happen and I'm *not* gonna clear it up . . ."
The group spun and gasped at the strange new voice. There stood a person that looked strangely like Yue!!
Yue rolled his eyes and pointed them in the right direction. "Ahem!"
The group spun and gasped at the strange new voice. There stood a person that looked strangely like Yue . . . except she was wearing the same clothes as Ruby . . . only those clothes were tasteful . . . and in the same colours and tones as Yue's. The moon angel girl stared back at them coolly, her lilac coloured eyes fell on Kero-ette, "Keroberos-ette . . . It's been a long time . . ." she said quietly.
Kero-ette nodded solemnly, "Indeed it has . . ."
"Where's my pizza?"
"I ate it." Kero-ette nodded again solemnly.
"Oh . . ." Her lilac coloured eyes flickered back to the group, "So . . . which of you were *stupid* enough to break the seal?"
AFTER SCHOOL THAT DAY . . . chanted the deep voice.
Meilin shook her head again, "This can't be! I can't be a Cardcaptor!!"
The group had retired to Meilin's and Syaoran' apartment because it was . . . it was . . . well, they just went there 'cause it was the closest. Kero-ette bounced on the bed, "Wai! This is so fluffy!"
Yue rolled his eyes and glanced at his identical twin sister, she hadn't changed a bit. Ruby nudged him, "What is she?"
"She's a moon guardian, just like Keroberos-ette is a sun guardian. Her infernal name is Yue-Bella."
"Oh . . ." Ruby hummed, "Is she defiantly female?"
"Yep . . ."
"Hmmm . . ."
"Hmmm . . .?"
"Is she available?" When Yue looked at Ruby in shock, Ruby shrugged, "I'm not a real female, remember? And she's kinda hot . . ."
"She's me . . . only female . . ." Yue's mouth hung open.
"Yeah, but she's hot."
"And I'm not?"
Spinel nudged Kero, who was sat watching Meilin and Kero-ette argue about who's fault it was that the cards had escaped, "What?"
"Is she available?"
"Kero-ette . . . is she?"
"She is but she's just me . . . only female!"
"Yeah, but she's really good looking . . ."
Kero's face blanked, his beady black little eyes crossing slightly, "The only difference between her and me is a stupid hair clip!"
"Yeah . . ." Spinel sighed, "but there's something about the way she wears it, makes her just so . . . captivating . . ."
Kero face faulted, and batted the tiny little love hearts away, and was about to retort when Sakura and Syaoran jumped up, "I sense a Clow card!" they cried.
Yue-Bella sighed and rolled her lilac eyes, "No, you don't . . ." she glared at Meilin who gulped, and murmured quietly, "I sense a Whoops card?"
Yue-Bella nodded slowly as Kero-ette jumped into the air, "All right! It's time for Cardcaptor Meilin!!"
Kero winced, "Somehow that just sound so very wrong!"
PRETTY LATE AT NIGHT AT THE SCHOOL . . . the deep voice scratched it's back and yawned.
"I can't be a Cardcaptor!"
"What's this the only Cardcaptor in the world is sayin'?!" Kero-ette growled as Tomoyo's limo dropped the whole ensemble off at the school's gates, Tomoyo had insisted on bringing her whole troop of Cardcaptor costumes. "If Meilin's going to be a Cardcaptor she has to look the part!"
Meilin shivered, "How am I supposed to catch the card?"
"Same way as the other Cardcaptor had too."
"Oh. . ." Meilin looked at Sakura who had donned a beautiful costume for Meilin's first battle, she smiled at her confidently, and grasped her magic staff tighter. Something suddenly occurred to Meilin.
"I haven't got one of those!" She pointed at the sealing cane.
"Oh yeah!" Kero-ette slapped her forehead, "Of course!" The seal beast-ette closed her eyes and started to glow, "Oh, key that hides the power of the Whoops . . . Spit out the cane, will ya, love? Release!!"
A bright crimson red magic circle suddenly appeared under Meilin, and a cane whirled into existence in front of her. "Grab it!" Kero-ette called over the magical wind as it swept around Meilin. "All right! A Cardcaptor is born!"
As the light faded away Meilin looked at the strange staff that had become her sealing cane, it was just like the old Clow staff except the pink handle was now a deep crimson, and the head of the cane was . . .
"A rubber ducky?" Meilin glared at Eriol, who pointed at the staff.
"I was in the bath when that happened . . ." he snortled, " I thought it was really, really funny! And now I see it's not funny . . . it's *hilarious*!!"
Meilin rolled her eyes, "Now what?"
"Well, now you have to get into costume!" Tomoyo practically squealed, she quickly turned to open the back of the van. Yue-Bella stepped forward, placing a hand on Tomoyo's shoulder.
"No, she doesn't, there isn't time to faff about!"
"Besides!" Kero-ette crowed, "She has the Magic Girl card with her!"
"What does that do?" Meilin asked, pulling out the strange card.
"Tap it and find out . . ."
"How do I look?" Meilin presented herself to the group of friends, Eriol clapped.
"You look like a true Cardcaptor!"
Syaoran and Sakura nodded emphatically, and Tomoyo stared with open-mouthed shock, the card for some strange reason was capable of giving the user intricate and beautiful costumes, although the official reason, Eriol stressed, was because it gave the user a temporary boost in their magic. Meilin looked stunning, she looked like a clown, but a stunning clown. She had tight fitting silk polka dot leggings, with a sweet striped crop top. The whole design was topped off with bright red bobbled shoes, scarlet braces, and a bi-pronged jester's hat. Her long hair was fixed so it came out of the prongs.
She looked down on herself, "Why a clown?"
Kero-ette suddenly turned very serious . . . as serious as you could get with a small stuffed animal like thing that was also made up to look like Buttons The Monkey . . . "The Magic Girl card can be very useful . . . it gives you magic and costumes that will suit the card that you are goin' to capture . . ." she stared at the looming dark school gates, "And it looks like we're gonna face somethin' interestin' . . ."
The gang ran into the school's gym, as Meilin was suddenly pulled towards it. They stopped suddenly, as they came face to face with . . . hundreds of bouncing balls, tennis balls, foot balls, netballs, cricket balls, every kind of ball you could find at a school . . . each of them were lined up and systematically being slam-dunked into the basketball hops . . .
"Why is the card doing that?"
"It's the Bounce card!" Kero-ette called out, "You've got to catch it before it gets stronger!"
"Or what will happen?" Meilin put her hands on her hips; "The Bounce card will start bouncing?"
"No, worse!" Kero-ette said but was interrupted as the bounce card hauled Touya off his feet.
"WHOA!" He called as he was rolled into a small ball and was dribbled all the way across the court and back again. "That will happen!" Kero-ette pointed at the human basketball.
"Why would Clow create something like this?!" Sakura squealed before she, Eriol and Syaoran were hauled off their feet as well, Meilin turned to look at Kero-ette as the small guardian remained silent, "Well?"
Kero-ette was transfixed on the several bouncing balls, as was Keroberos and Ruby. Yue-Bella raise an eyebrow, "Clow created it to entertain Keroberos . . . it was replaced by the Bubbles card . . ." she glared past her new mistress at her own entranced sister. "Simple pleasures . . ."
Spinel shook his head woefully, " . . . Please . . ."
" . . . Simple minds." Yue finished, he turned to Yue-Bella, "So, what does she need to do to stop this?"
Yue-Bella sighed and knelt beside Meilin, and started to whisper into the girl's ear. Meilin's eyes widened, "But that sounds so very complicated! What if I just asked the card to come to me?" She gasped as the What If card suddenly sprung out of her pocket, it whirled and released it's contained spirit . . . which, for some bizarre reason, resembled the Windy card. The beautiful pale yellow spirit reached out and wove it's way through all of the bouncing balls and people.
The bouncing suddenly stopped and Touya, Sakura, Eriol, and Syaoran were suddenly dropped. The card turned into it's visible form, a nice round orange ball. "Meilin!" Yelled Kero-ette snapping pout of her trance, "That's the card's visible form! You must seal it now!!"
Meilin glanced at her seal cane once, and whirled it around her hand as she had seen Sakura do once; she pulled it over her head, "Return to your mistake's confine!" The rubber ducky squeaked loudly as it made contact with an invisible space between Meilin and the card's visible form, "BOUNCE CARD!"
The card floated to her, she stared at it and looked at Yue-Bella who had straightened and was now brushing down her robes, "That was it?"
"Yep." She turned on a heel, and stalked out of the gym. "Let's go get pizza!"
"Pizza?!" Kero-ette fluttered after her sister, "Make mine a modern pizza, with all the toppings, modern pizza! Modern pizza!"
Meilin glanced at Eriol, who shrugged and nodded, "Well, um . . . yeah . . . That was it . . ."
She blinked, as Syaoran turned to Eriol, "Exactly how many cards are there?"
Eriol shook his head, "Well, it's really hard to tell you see . . ." he blushed, "Clow forgot . . ."
"He forgot?" Syaoran folded his arms, and started to shake his head.
Sakura picked up her bruised brother, and glanced at her own guardians, "Do you know?"
"Nope." Keroberos sat down heavily.
Yue shook his head, "We don't know . . ."
Touya rubbed his head, "What do you mean you don't know?"
Yue shrugged, "We don't know . . . Clow made them when he was bored, lazy, angry, ridiculously happy, but mostly because he was drunk. And trust me, we weren't always there when he was bored . . ."
Kero nodded, "*Very* bored, *very* bad puns *all* the time."
"Or when he was lazy . . ."
"*Very* lazy . . . he make us fetch stuff for him, even when it was right *next* to him."
"Definitely not when he was angry . . ."
"Used to throw stuff around, we valued our own 'hinds ya know!"
"Or when he was ridiculously happy . . ."
"Never wanted to be around then either, *Flower* was the product of one of those . . ."
Yue smiled as if he was remembering a happy memory, "And, yeah . . . we *were* there when he was drunk . . ."
" . . . But then we would be too drunk to stop him either . . ." Kero grinned, ah, yes, a very happy memory.
The conversation continued as the newly reformed Cardcaptor gang strolled out of the school . . . unaware that they were being watched.
Far above them, on the tiptop of the school's clock, a boy in strange orange Li-clan robes stood balanced perfectly. In his hands, a round board glowed quietly.
"Well done . . ." he murmured softly as he watched the straggler of the group. The young girl in a strange clown's costume was staring at the two Whoops cards' guardians.
He glanced down at the glowing orange, circular board.
"I sense a Clow . . ." he paused before looking around to check if anyone had heard his gaff, he smirked, and continued mysteriously, "I mean, I sense a Whoops card . . ."
And now it's time for Leave it to Kero-ette
Kero-ette: Konnichiwa! And welcome to this action pack new segment of Cardcaptor Meilin! I hope to bring you the latest news, reviews and information about all the brand new Whoops cards!! Wow! Today we saw a total of three cards! Can you believe it?! And we met the new Cardcaptor! Her name's Meilin Li! Isn't that wonderful! And I'm positive that she'll fill you with positive, positive vibes!!
[Presses face against screen] Let's go Kero-ette-chan check!!
Today, we saw the Magic Girl card work it's magic on our new Cardcaptor! And we saw the sealing cane for the first time!! It has a bright crimson grip because that's our brilliant Cardcaptor's favourite colour!! At the top is a bright yellow rubber ducky, why?! Nobody really knows; all we know is that Clow was a man who had a lot of problems!!
[Sits in big red chair] So how was it? Didn't that fill you with exciting energy? Ready to meet the next challenge? Well, please R&R and come back for the next instalment of Whoops, Didn't Mean To Do That!
[Waves] Hon Na Na!
Meilin: What's this?! I've become a real magic girl AND now there's a new transfer student arriving at our school?! He's from America . . . And he won't stop staring at me! Oh no! Why is he doing this? He's freaking me out with his endless stares!! And everyone keeps being late! Why?! WHY?!
Meilin's Latest Challenger Turns Up!
Next time on 'Whoops! Didn't Mean To Do That!' Come with me, Cardcaptor Meilin!
[Cue senselessly dramatic ending music!]