A/N This is part of a bigger story I am working on. It was written as part of a challenge by WriterGirl8 with the song Total Eclipse from the Heart by Bonnie Tyler
Only this morning, Harry had stood on the front steps of 12 Grimmauld Place and had asked her to stay. Only this morning, she had seen the same loneliness reflected in his eyes. Only this morning, she had seen that he loved her still, as much as she still loved him.
Ginny Weasley was standing in the corridor, right outside the Drawing room, in front of the door of the bedroom she occupied when at Grimmauld Place. She could see Harry, freshly showered, his hair in disarray, reading a book. Oh! How much she loved that boy who, a few weeks short of 19, was now a man. And she willed him to look up and turn around...
She remembered the excruciating loneliness she had felt during the past year. At the end of the war, the day after the Battle of Hogwarts, she had encourage him to take Kingsley Shacklebolt's offer and join the Auror, telling him that she would be there when he came back. What she hadn't known was the aloneness she had felt at his long silence, and the pain when the letters had become impersonal and finally, had stopped.
She had been crying so much, in silence, in the middle of the night, that she had become tired of listening to the sound of her tears. But she couldn't stop them. They would come, in the night, when the craving for him had been the greatest, when the loneliness in her heart had left place for nothing else but tears.
She had cried, remembering the short and happy time they had shared together before the war, afraid that the best time of her so short life had gone by, that never again she would feel the completeness she had felt while in his arms.
She had been petrified when she had seen him again, two weeks prior, in the Quidditch tent, surrounded by adoring fans. She had been terrified he didn't love her and didn't want her anymore. Her heart had been about to break at the sight of him but then, she saw the look in his eyes.
And she would have felt apart, right there, had it not been for the fans, the press and her friends. She would have broken down and cried in fear, in pain, in relief, in joy.
She was now looking at the love of her life and willed him to turn around.
Two days ago, she had woken up in the early hours of the morning, intended on joining him in his bedroom, three floors above. She had intended on filling this loneliness that only made her cry, to stop the restlessness of her nights. Approaching his bedroom door, she had heard him cry in distress and found him in the midst of a nightmare. She had promised to look over him while he slept, lying down next to him, and dreaming of him and her, doing something wild.
She had lied there like a child, her head on his shoulder, his arms around her, feeling helplessly in love and still worried that he didn't love her back, didn't want her nearly as much as she wanted him.
And the morning after, still in fear for her heart, she had been angry and, despite the wonderful night she had spent, had wanted to cry. Ron, by demanding to know where she had spent the night, had allowed her to vent her anger, allowing her to hide the fact that she was angry at Harry for the loneliness she still felt, and the fact that she just wanted to hide and cry.
She was terrified, that night, when he made no moves towards her, and he didn't invite her to his room, keeping that 'perfect gentleman' distance. She had been afraid that the previous night had meant nothing to him, that he didn't love her. And then she remembered the look in his eyes, that morning when he had asked her to stay.
And standing in the corridor, she willed him to turn around, because she needed him tonight, more than she had ever needed him. She needed him to hold her tight, and to hold her forever, to make everything right, to love her forever. She wanted them to make it together, for the rest of their lives. She wanted him to be the beacon in the dark, the light of her heart because she needed him tonight and forever in her life.
She knew he was not the normal boy he had always wanted to be, that he was this 'hero' who had faced the darkest wizard of all time, seen horrors that nobody should have ever see, let alone a 17 year old. She knew that deep inside, he had always wanted a quiet and uneventful life.
But regardless of what he had become, when she had been with him before the war, he had wanted her like she was. He hadn't wanted another version of the Ginny she had turned out to be, like the others before him. He had just wanted her to be Ginny.
And since she was 10 years old, she had believed there was no one in the universe as magical and wondrous as him. Her groupie infatuation had grown into a full blown love, and admiration for his limitless love of others, selflessness and courage. While he had been a hero to her 10 year old eyes, he had become a boy, than a man, and hadn't ceased to capture her heart. And as she dated other guys, she always imagined that she was kissing him while kissing them, because he had already filled her heart.
For her, he was the all, the only, the forever and no one would ever be better. And she didn't think there was anything she wouldn't do for him, for his love, for his arms around her, for waking up next to him every morning for the rest of her life.
And, tears running down her eyes, she willed him to turn around, right now, because once upon a time, she was falling in love and now, she was falling apart. There was nothing she could do, she just wanted to be in his arms.