(Sorry for such a short chapter, but I wanted to make it since you don't know what the hell happened to Bella. Enjoy.)

BPOV

I stared down at him, envying Alice once again.

His beauty had made my heart speed up, his southern accent had made my panties dampen.

I watched him sulk, and it hurt me.

His eyes were a dark black, underneath lay purple bags, as if he hadn't slept in a while.

In fact, he hadn't. I liked to watch him, liked to hide in Alice's closet, unless they were fucking.

That made my heart shatter in tiny little pieces, pieces that no one could pick up. Pieces that would stab their fingers like knives to a heart. And then they'd drop them.

I tried to speak to him, tried to gain the courage to say that I loved him. I couldn't even grasp his attention when I said his name.

Sometimes I tried to seduce him. It was fun, but he never noticed. It was if I was transparent, as if he was staring right through me to the wall instead of at me.

Was he?

But I'm not a ghost. Hell, I believed in ghosts, but I'm not one. I'm as alive as I can be. 100% healthy. Not a scratch, which is unusual considering how clumsy I was.

I liked his hair. It was gorgeous, short honey blonde locks I wish I could've ran my fingers through.

I still couldn't comprehend why he wasn't looking at me. Hello? I might be plain, but I'm not that plain.

And he's not deaf or blind, y'know.

I wanted him to pick up the pieces of my heart. For some reason, I knew they wouldn't stab him. They'd try, then they'd bounce off at the impact. And he'd repair my heart, then tenderly make love to me.

I wish.

I wish I had made love with him.

I wanted him to be the milk to my Oreo, the peanut to my butter, the chocolate chips to my cookie.

But was he really poison to my blood, knives to my heart, fire to my limbs? Lack of air to my lungs?

What was he?

Was he the good guy, or the bad guy?

Was he the sexy, mindblowing, great-fuck hottie you see on TV? No, actually, you wish you could see them on TV.

Or was he the, sexy, mindblowing, great-fuck criminal hottie with a dark past?

Was Alice the dark, bad girl to the sexy, mindblowing, great-fuck hottie that should be on TV?

Or was Alice the spot of light, the angel, to the sexy, mindblowing, great-fuck criminal hottie with a dark past?

Were the females in this family angelic, and the males dark, with a sadistic past?

Will I ever stop rambling?