Fufufu... This was fun to write. Enoy~

"All right you three, here's how we're going to do this," Kakashi had started. Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura had been gathered at the bridge to listen to the plan of the latest mission they had been assigned. The client had seemed very insistent on catching this guy. Although, she had been very vague on the details of the man.

"So far, all we know is that this guy is a mafia boss. He's been targeting, and kidnapping young women of roughly the age of sixteen. He seems to be very dangerous, as he has hired several ninja bodyguards from various other countries." Kakashi paused to let the three take in the severity of the situation. They gave Kakashi a curt nod.

"So the plan I have thought of will go something like this, the three of you will be infiltrating the club they are scheduled to be at. I want all of you to gather as much information as you can on the whereabouts of the rest of the missing girls. I will be there, waiting until the three of you have acquired all the information you can from him. You follow?"

Naruto seemed to disapprove of the idea of only infiltrating instead of getting right into the action and kicking some ass. "We won't even get to fight at all?" Sakura punched the blonde fool upside the head. "Shut up Naruto. Not everything is about what you want."

Kakashi sighed heavily. "Only if it's absolutely necessary. We want to get this guy with the least amount of damage done to public property as possible, and without hurting any civilians, Naruto."

Naruto crossed his arms defiantly, but said nothing further.

"Now, if we're all done complaining, there is one other thing I need you all to know." The three of them looked up expectantly at their teacher.

"You're all going to be dressing up for this occasion. This means, even you two," Kakashi paused to point at a confused Naruto, and an equally confused Sasuke. "Will be dressing up as girls."

"EH?" Naruto squeaked in disbelief. Kakashi wasn't really planning on sending them into a public area dressed up as girls right? Please say he's kidding…

"Why can't we just use a disguising Jutsu instead of this?" Sasuke, the ever logical one of the bunch asked.

Kakashi chuckled before responding. "The ninja that this guy has hired are all of jonin rank. I want no mess ups. So, therefore, I want you both to focus on concealing your chakra, instead of running the risk of concentrating too hard on maintaining the transformation jutsu, that you completely forget about hiding said chakra. The goal is to infiltrate, remember this. It is imperative that you all seem like ordinary citizens." Kakashi finished, eyeing his three students to make sure they understood.

"So let me get this straight. You want us," Naruto started, pointing between himself and Sasuke. "Two guys to dress up like girls to get into this club place, and get information?"

Kakashi smiled behind his mask, his only exposed eye curving into a frown. "Yes, that's pretty much the gist of it. What better way to acquire information, then to look like three pretty, roughly sixteen year old girls?" Naruto hung his head in defeat. Sasuke didn't seem too pleased with the idea either. Sakura looked merely amused with the instructions.

"Once you know the location of the kidnapped girls, I want you three to get out of there. I want no heroics from any of you. If you absolutely need to use your jutsu's, use them moderately."

The three nodded. "The expected time of their arrival is exactly 6PM, you have approximately five hours to get ready. Understood?" They gave another nod.

"All right then, the club is in the village neighboring Konoha. The name of the club is The Red Dragon. It should only take you thirty or so minutes to reach it if you don't stop running." Kakashi finished his final piece of instructions to his three students. When he was satisfied that they got all of that, he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Naruto was the first to say anything in the absence of Kakashi. "Man… do we really have to do this?" He couldn't help, but to complain about the situation. Hell if he wanted to dress up like a girl. Transforming into one is one thing, but cross-dressing was a completely different story.

Sakura's temple formed a visible vein. "Do you honestly want to leave those girls in the hands of this guy? If we fight, and take too long, what will happen to them? Use your brain Naruto. If you even have one in that sad excuse of a thing you call a head." Naruto reflexively flinched at that burn. Man, even Sasuke didn't go that much out of his way to insult him like that. Just a nonchalantly thrown "loser" and that was the end of it.

It was like Sasuke sensed he was being thought of, for he spoke. "Let's get this over with." Sakura seemed to forget all about Naruto in favor of listening to her beloved speak five words.

Naruto grunted in displeasure. "Where do we go exactly to, "get this over with?" He crossed his arms childishly and pouted at the prospect of having to dress up. Sasuke seemed to think, but deemed it too much of a daunting task. He turned to Sakura who seemed delighted to finally have his attention for once in her life.

"Where exactly… should we go for this?" Sakura looked overly thrilled at getting the opportunity to dress up Sasuke, of all people. After a moment of thinking of the best place to go buy feminine attire, she gave Sasuke a devilish smile. It could have easily been mistaken for hunger if she kept that up. Naruto noticed the look that adorned Sakura's normally innocent face. He gulped, instincts telling him to run for the hills. Sasuke didn't exactly look too excited about the way he was being looked at either. And as if Sakura couldn't possibly get any creepier, she gave a dark chuckle.


She had dragged the two very reluctant teens to a small shop in Konoha. This shop in particular sold very intricately designed kimono's. She had given the shop a thought, and instantly knew this was the place where they were getting their "equipment."

Sakura pushed open the glass door, throwing the two boys in. They looked back at her in clear annoyance, but the evil smile on her face never wavered. "Now, pick out one you like!" She had said before she sent the two off on their journey through, dare they say… "the mall."

It was like a freaking jungle. Except the trees were dresses and skirts, and the animals were girls. Naruto could have sworn he saw a monkey… no wait, that was just a little girl running through the clothes.

He couldn't stop the swallow that forced itself upon him. "I… I just have to pick one out, then I can get the hell out of here." He used that as his mantra as he looked through the dresses that were presented to him. He found them all to look positively atrocious. Only really old people could get away with the freaking bag-like dress he was holding with… freaking amoeba looking designs.

Naruto had to wear one of these? And people hated on him for dressing in orange… who the hell wore lime green skirts?

Sasuke himself wasn't fairing much better. He had yet to find anything worthy to be worn by him. It was a sea of disgustingly tailored trash. Whoever made this shit should be sued for calling themselves a fashion designer and getting away with it. …And the person who passed them as a fashion designer should just be plain executed.

Sasuke made it to the far end of the aisle wondering to himself how he had managed to get this far without being blinded by ugly. The few clothes he saw on the hangers this time were kimono's. And interestingly enough, weren't that ugly. They ranged in many different colors, as it seemed that they all had a colored theme. Dark red, with a pink dragon stretching up the side, bright yellow with slightly orange sunflowers, etc. Sasuke still didn't find one that suited his fancy, that is, until he saw the one at the far end of the rack. It was a light blue, with dark blue hibiscus flowers running from the bottom to the top. The obi was a dark blue as well, and tied in the front as apposed to the back.

Sasuke walked up to it, picking it up. He was about to take it with him, when he felt a slight tug of resistance. Agitated, Sasuke looked over to see a girl had also picked up the very same kimono. They stared at each other for what felt like a small eternity. Sasuke was first to recover, and unleashed his infamous Uchiha death glare on the girl. "I saw this first."

The girl puffed out her cheeks, giving him a heated glare of her own. "I picked it up first, it's mine." Sasuke tugged at the material in his hands. "I found this first, go find another one!" He all but shouted at her. "It's mine! Let go!" She yelled with equal force. And the two began their struggle for the dress in their hands. Then at that moment, reality decided to hit Sasuke, and with full force.

'What the fuck am I doing? I'm not seriously fighting over a fucking dress am I?' Once the epiphany had hit him however, the girl relinquished her hold on the blue kimono. "Fine! Just take it if you want it so bad!" She stormed off, parting the people in the store like Moses parted the sea. Sasuke stared at the girl's retreating back for a moment before he glared down at his unwanted prize as if it had started all of this.

'Oh well…' He thought exasperatedly. 'At least it's not ugly…'

Naruto had also found a kimono of his liking. Fortunately enough for him, no one wanted the one he had chosen. They just had bad tastes.

The kimono he had found was, of course, orange. It had an autumn look, for it had a design of a tree on it. Branching out over the dress. It had a nice mix of browns and reds and oranges, and Naruto quite liked it. So he took it with him with a cheery smile on his face. He had met up with Sasuke on his way back to Sakura, and gave him an inquisitive look at the defeated expression on his usually stoic face.

"What happened to you?" He asked, just out of plain curiosity. Sasuke glared at him through his jet black bangs. "Don't ask." So Naruto closed his mouth and settled for snickering. It wasn't often the great prince of darkness ever got his feathers ruffled. A sight not often witnessed.

When the scowl on his face increased in intensity at seeing Naruto laughing at him, Naruto just grinned. "Wanna talk about it?"

"Fuck you."

At that moment, Sakura decided that this was indeed the perfect moment to show up. "Have you guys decided on something?" She asked ever so innocently. When the scowl from Sasuke was redirected onto her, she lost some of the vibrancy she once had. "I'll take that as a yes." She almost squeaked that sentence out. Sakura took the two kimono's from their hands and rushed to the register to pay for them.


And now, here they were, in Sakura's house changing. Why Sakura's house? Because the two boys needed the guidance of a female for this particular situation, and they'd be damned if they went to each other's house. Sasuke refused to take any other room to change in other than the bathroom, leaving Naruto to change in Sakura's room. An idea that Sakura herself wasn't particularly fond of. But she couldn't very well argue with an irate Sasuke. So she grinned and bared it. …She'd kill Naruto if he dared touch anything of her's. Skin him alive or something equally as creative. She was sitting in her living room tapping her foot restlessly on the floor. How long did it take to put on a dress? Honestly, she didn't even take this long.

Sakura was in the process of picking at her nails when she heard one of the doors open. She turned her head at the sound and watched the hallway in anticipation. What she saw however, was quite disturbing.

Before they had went to her house, they had made a quick stop at a store that sold accessories. Sakura had the idea in mind that they might should wear a wig to completely disguise the fact that their jaws were a bit more squared, and their necks were a bit more thick, and their shoulders were a bit too broad. Sasuke completely denied the wig, but had decided on a blue hibiscus flower pin to match the dress. Naruto got a blonde wig that was similar to his sexy jutsu's hair style. Unfortunately for him however, it didn't produce the same effect.

Naruto waddled out into the open in front of Sakura. He looked awkward standing there with cork sandals and a form fitting kimono. Which, in Sakura's opinion, was the problem. Naruto had no form. He looked like a… like a…

"I look like a fucking dike." Sakura turned her head away to cover the overwhelming urge to laugh at Naruto's expense. She tried to console the fuming blonde between giggles. "You don't look that bad. Look at the bright side, you look somewhat like a girl." Naruto glared at her, crossing his arms over his chest. Sakura then got an idea. She ran to her room and produced a bra from her drawer as well as a few socks. She came back to Naruto and grinned. "Put this on!" She exclaimed in visible amusement. Oh, how fun this was, how fun indeed.

Naruto looked horrified, and took the items presented to him with shaky hands. "Help me then, I don't know how this works." So she did. Stuffing the socks in the bra to give some fullness to his chest. She backed away once her work was done and shoved him into her room to her full length mirror to see the finished piece. Naruto stood there staring for several minutes before saying anything. After a few more moments he huffed in childish anger. "Now I just look like a bimbo dike…"

Sakura raised her hand to her mouth to hide the giggles that she couldn't contain, but before Naruto could properly whine about her laughing at him, the sound of the bathroom door interrupted him. They both looked out of the doorway into the hall to see what had become of Sasuke. Their mouths soon flew open in sheer shock at what they saw.

Standing, right there in the hallway, was Sasuke. It looked like he actually had hips, and although he was flat, just looked like a normal teenage girl. A freaking pretty, normal teenage girl. The hibiscus flower was even working to finish off the look. Sasuke's naturally pretty face and long eyelashes did him much justice in this situation. Naruto even felt the heat of an oncoming blush, as did Sakura.

"Wow Sasuke, just… wow." Was all Sakura could say while looking Sasuke up and down. Sasuke was also blushing, quite darkly too.

"I don't like it." Was the only thing he said before he turned back to hide in the bathroom. The two rushed forward screaming out a simultaneous "no!" grabbing Sasuke by the waist and dragging him out back into the hallway. Sasuke grunted in displeasure before slapping at the arms that were firmly latched onto his waist. Once he was finally released, the two stood in front of him. Sasuke crossed his arms and looked somewhere to his right in defiance.

"Sasuke, you look so pretty!" Sakura nearly squealed. Her hands were clasped together in front of her face while her eyes glittered in admiration and awe. Naruto gave the raven a thumbs up. "Hell yeah, if I didn't know you were a guy, I'd totally tap that!" The room became very quiet after that exclamation. Naruto looked at the two in the room who were giving him skeptical looks. He could even slightly make out the sound of crickets outside.

"Uh…"

"Anyway, we have about two more hours before we have to head down to the village. We could use this time to get use to walking and such." Sasuke and Naruto looked at the person who just spoke in an inquisitive silence. Sasuke spoke after a moment.

"What do you mean?" Sakura took on that evil glint in her eyes again. "Well, you have to act ladylike of course." Naruto gulped. He felt that he had been doing a lot of nervous swallowing today. "What exactly do we have to do?"

"Well for starters, no scratching," Naruto slowly lowered the hand that was near his crotch. "Ladies don't scratch at balls they don't have." Sakura said glaring at Naruto who found something on the wall to be very interesting.

"Secondly, walk with style. Guys just walk, girls walk with grace and confidence." Naruto furrowed his eyebrows a bit at that one. He looked at Sakura before speaking. "Really? I never noticed you walked with grace and confidence. I guess you just walk like a guy then." A vein throbbed on Sakura's temple. Naruto didn't get to speak any further before a fist connected with his jaw.

Naruto fell in a heap on the floor. He groaned loudly rubbing at his swore jaw. Sasuke just stood there watching the exchange of words and fists in Sakura's case. He wasn't really paying attention to them much. Just the task at hand. He was an Uchiha, and as foolish as the mission may be, he would complete it flawlessly. So he walked with style, grace, and confidence to the living room. Sakura completely forgot about Naruto and watched Sasuke's performance. She clapped her hands at the display. "That was perfect Sasuke! You're amazing!" The sparkly look of admiration had resurfaced to her face.

Naruto hauled himself up into a sitting position. He glared at Sakura and then to Sasuke. "I don't know what you're talking about. Sasuke always walks like that. I guess he just walks like a woman." Before the blonde new what was coming, he was smashed back onto the ground by a cork sandal to the stomach. Sasuke removed his foot and placed it back on the ground.

He walked briskly out of the house yelling over his shoulder, "Let's just get this over with." Sakura raised her hand to her mouth to call out to Sasuke. "But we still have a while before we even have to be there!" But Sasuke didn't appear to be listening as the door was harshly pulled open for the raven to walk out. Sakura lowered her hand and mumbled to herself. "Well, I guess we could look around for about an hour before we have to go there." She turned her head to look at Naruto, who appeared to be twitching sporadically on the floor. She sighed before hauling him up into a standing position.


So here they were, standing in front of the club that was The Red Dragon. They were staring up at it, silently debating whether or not they should go in.

"I've never actually been clubbing before. Maybe this won't be so bad. We could try to enjoy ourselves." Sakura said, trying to cheer up the two boys on either side of her who looked positively horrified that they were out in public… crossdressing. "Fucking easier for you to say. You aren't dressed up as a dike." Sakura gave her blonde headed companion a sympathetic smile. "And hell, he looks prettier than the majority of the girls here." The sympathetic smile began to waver. Sasuke sent Naruto a demonic glare.

Sakura sighed. "Lets just go in." She said. Sasuke walked ahead of them, pushing open the doors and making his way into the club. His face changed from broody to happy in less than a second. Naruto and Sakura stayed slightly behind watching as Sasuke turned from cool collected male, to cutesy, adorable, ditzy female. Naruto leaned toward Sakura. "Man, he's good." Sakura merely nodded.

"You three are here early." A familiar voice sounded to the left of them. They turned in time to see Kakashi walking up to them. "And surprisingly enough, so are you." Sakura replied glaring at her teacher. Kakashi scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. "Yes well, you can't put off business." He looked over the two. Sakura was dressed in a pink kimono with her hair up in a loose bun and Naruto… "Uh… Naruto, you look like a…"

"I know."

"Oh… okay."

Kakashi cleared his throat before giving out more instructions. "I think the three of you should split up. Ask around about this guy. Tarukane is the name the client gave us. Go ask around. If they don't wanna talk, don't bother prying. Just wait until he gets here. The client said we'd know when he came in right away." The two nodded.

They split up to begin asking around about this guy. What he did and where he normally stayed. The majority of people didn't speak much of it. Either because they didn't know, or were too afraid to say.

Sasuke had heard the details of the current objective from Sakura, who had come up to him shortly after hearing from Kakashi to split up and scout. He sat down at a stool and rested his arms on the counter. The bartender eyed him curiously before going back to cleaning out his cups. Sasuke wasn't sure what kind of drinks they had here. Mostly alcoholic he presumed. He heard someone sit down next to him. Sasuke instinctively sat up straighter.

'Act like a woman. Do something a woman would do!' He thought to himself. So he combed a hand through his hair and smoothed out the crinkles of his kimono in his lap. He heard an "ahem" to his left and turned. The guy who he was now looking at had a hungry look on his face, and Sasuke didn't even have to guess as to who and what that look was referring to. He smiled politely with a small bow.

"My my my, what is a woman of your stature doing in a place like this?" He asked in a sultry accent. Sasuke resisted the urge to gag. But Sasuke knew… the only way to get information from people, was to play on their attitudes. In this case, he knew he had to flirt.

"What? A girl of my… stature can't come have a little fun every once in awhile?" He had cheated, yes, he used a jutsu to disguise his voice. But he couldn't help it, his voice was way too deep to try raising it.

"I like the way you think missy. Want anything to drink? It'll be on me." Sasuke slightly turned his head away to conceal the slight look of annoyance. He turned back with a smile. "No thanks, I don't drink, mister." The guy put a hand to his chest in mock hurt. "Ow. Mister? You make me sound old." Sasuke shrugged teasingly.

'Yeah… I'm 15 and you look about 25 plus. You might as well call yourself a pedophile. Being old is the least of your problems.'

"Well, if you're not thirsty… maybe you're hungry?" The guy crept closer to Sasuke slowly. An arm snaked its way toward Sasuke's butt and squeezed.

'Don't punch him in the face. Don't punch him in the face. Don't punch him in the face.'

"Oh, I nearly forgot. What's your name missy?"

A dark aura seemed to exude from Sasuke. He grabbed the wrist of the hand that was on his backside and squeezed it hard. Satisfied when he heard a pop. "My name… is fuck off." He threw the hand off him and grabbed the back of the guy's neck forcing his head to the counter. Sasuke brought his face to eye level with the guy and made sure he was looking at him. He dropped the female voice. "Look pal, I'm only going to ask this once, so you had better answer me correctly the first time or I might just do something rash and break your neck." He kept his voice down so as not to cause a scene. Even the bartender didn't seem to notice. The guy nodded his head urgently. "What do you know of Tarukane?"

The guy's eyes widened and he looked around frantically. "You're looking for Tarukane?" Sasuke growled. "Keep your voice down fucker or I'll cut off every appendage on your body. Starting with your penis." The grip on the guy's neck tightened, and Sasuke heard a startled yelp.

"Okay… okay… His full name is Tarukane Takahashi. He's been acting as the boss of this place for awhile. Just… taking whatever the hell he wanted. No one has enough authority to take him down. Not like anyone is bothering to oversee this place with this guy around anyway." Sasuke looked around to make sure no one was listening in on his conversation. He eyed the man at his mercy. "I heard from a few sources that he's been kidnapping people." The guy nodded. "Y-yeah… I heard a lot about that. People were starting to go around to villages to hire ninjas to deal with him. But as far as I know, the whole thing has been treated as a civilian problem. No one's lifted a finger to help." The guy's eyes widened impossibly large. He gave Sasuke a frantic look. "You're a ninja aren't you? Look man, I got nothing to do with him! Nothin'!"

Sasuke pushed his face further into the counter. "Shut up fool. I just want information." The guy was shaking uncontrollably underneath his hold, and Sasuke felt slightly guilty when he even started to smell the stench of urine. "I apologize. I didn't mean to come off so harshly. I just don't take too kindly to people grabbing my ass." The guy nodded in a jerky fashion. Sasuke sighed. He released his hold from the back of the guy's neck. "Do you happen to know where he's keeping these girls?"

The guy shook his head. "N-no… I don't know anything about that." Sasuke nodded. "Thank you. The information you provided me was most helpful." The guy nodded slowly, as if in a daze. He lifted himself off the stool and stumbled his way toward the exit.

"Oh, and by the way." The guy looked back at Sasuke who was holding a twenty dollar bill between his index finger and middle finger. "Thanks for the drinks." The guy looked down at his pocket and noticed his wallet had been emptied. He looked back up, but the blue kimono clad ninja had up and vanished.


Naruto was walking around the club with the most annoyed expression on his face. No one would give him any information. Hell, no one would even say fucking hi to him. Let alone a full sentence. The most he got were disgusted grunts and uh's.

He walked through the club with his shoulders hunched. Not like it mattered if he walked like a man now anyway. It was already painstakingly obvious that he indeed wasn't a woman. He wasn't even really paying much attention to where he was going anymore. More focused on brooding about the fact he was getting odd stares and the fact he couldn't just gather information dressed as a guy. Without realizing someone was in front of him, he bumped into them.

Naruto stumbled backwards and mumbled out half hearted apologies before looking up slowly. He immediately regretted the action, for what stood in front of him… was a monster in every sense of the word.

A big… burly… monster.

A fake wig that fell into ringlets around a fat, round face. Terribly hideous make up that was caked on so heavily that it all ran together; making the very much male person look like some sort of clown.

And what was worse… was the guy was wearing a dress… A dress!

"Well hi there cutie. You look mighty scrumptious today." Naruto felt his left eye start to sporadically convulse. "This is not what I look like everyday, I assure you." Naruto said, attempting to turn around and get away from this freak as fast as he possibly could. Before he could make his quick get-away, a large hand was placed on his shoulder.

"Now hold on a second there sugah. We haven't even properly introduced ourselves yet." Naruto managed to get away from the hand without touching it. "And just this once, I don't rightfully care."

The huge man seemed to smirk, but with all that make up and fat… it was hard to tell. "Now is that any way to treat Tarukane's second in command?" Naruto stopped flinching in disgust at hearing the name. The man seemed to be waiting for Naruto to start kissing up to him. It was apparent he used the line a lot to make people cower in fear and do as he asked.

"You're… Tarukane's second in command?" Naruto wondered in miffed disbelief. How could anyone hire something like that to get anywhere near them? This Tarukane guy was one sick bastard.

"Why yes I am." He said matter-of-factly. Naruto gave the guy a suspicious look, making the large monstrosity falter a bit at not getting any reaction of fear out of the blonde. "If you're his second, you know everything about him right?" The man took a step back as Naruto took a step forward.

"O-of course. How could I not?" Naruto looked around to make sure no one was listening to him before raising his hand to his mouth to whisper. "So you know where he pees?" The man gave Naruto a disheveled look. "Uh… sure."

Naruto's eyes brightened. "So you really are his second!" The large man leveled the blonde with a look that clearly stated, "this kid's either really dumb, or really dense. Or perhaps a lota bit of both."

"Can you tell me about him?" The blonde asked in now a chipper mood. He just ran into the guy's second. Stick that in your juice box and suck it Sasuke! Mr. I can do everything better than you! Well today, no you can't!

The large man took another step back. "Uh… well, he's… very big." Naruto blinked. "He couldn't possibly be any bigger than you."

The guy towered over Naruto and yelled into his face. "EXCUSE YOU, YOU LITTLE TWERP!" Naruto moved his head out of spitting range.

"I heard he's been kidnapping a lot of girls. You should know of that, right?" The guy looked taken aback. "N-no… I haven't heard anything about that…" Just who exactly was this blonde haired boy? Naruto furrowed his eyebrows in distaste. "Some second in command you are." The man regained some composure. "Why exactly are you getting information about him anyway?" Naruto looked up at the man and gave him a cheeky grin. "I can't tell you that. I'm undercover!" He exclaimed before turning around and stalking off. "O-oh… okay."


Sakura was sitting on a stool at the counter with her elbow propped up. Her head was rested in her hand while she used her other hand to stir the water in her cup with her straw. She hadn't found any leads. Everyone she asked was way too afraid to give out information on the girls. She gave out a long, drawn out sigh. 'I guess I'm going to have to wait until he gets here, or just hope Naruto and Sasuke had better luck than I did.' At that moment, she heard someone plop down in the seat beside her. She looked over to see Naruto looking absolutely depressed.

"Oh, Naruto. How did it go?" Naruto looked at her, shivered, then looked back down at the counter. She turned around to the other side at the sound of Sasuke's voice.

"I swear, if one more fucktard grabs my ass, I will set the place on fire." He sat down rather harshly onto the stool beside Sakura. Sakura gave Sasuke a weak smile, deciding to let the teen cool off before asking how much information he got was the most wise idea.

"Fuck is seriously your favorite word." Naruto didn't seem to want to adhere to the wisest idea.

"Fuck you!" Naruto pointed an accusing finger at Sasuke. "See! I told you!" Sakura grabbed the arm that was stretched passed her face and lowered it. "Before we kick each other's ass and blow our cover, how much information did we gather?" Sasuke growled and turned away from the two. His head rested on his hand. "Nothing useful. Just that he's been in this shady business for awhile."

Naruto slumped down onto the counter. "I just know he's big…" Sakura and Sasuke raised an eyebrow at Naruto. Sakura cleared her throat before saying what she had gathered on the subject. "Unfortunately, everyone I talked to weren't too keen on giving

me any information on him. This guy seems to have the town under his thumb." Sasuke nodded his agreement.

"I agree. There's barely any resistance from these people." At that moment, the doors to the club were thrown open, and a man stalked in with an air of great power and authority. Sakura and Sasuke glared at the man walking up to the bartender and asking, or rather, demanding, to be shown to his private room. "I guess that's him." Sakura stated, never taking her eyes off the guy. Sasuke silently nodded beside her. There were four bodyguards, all ninja. Most likely of jonin rank as Kakashi had predicted. Two went in with the guy, and two stood by the door.

"What are the odds he's scouting this place for his next victim?" Sakura asked the raven haired boy beside her. Sasuke narrowed his eyes dangerously. "Very high." Sakura turned back around in her seat. "I have a plan." Sasuke looked at her through the corner of his eye, but didn't move back around. Naruto raised his head to let her know he was listening. "One of us is going to have to get in there, while the other two stay outside and deal with the ninja blocking the entrance with Kakashi. Or, all three of us get in there to deal with the two ninja inside while Kakashi takes care of the ninjas blocking the door." Sasuke looked from Sakura, to the guards, then back to Sakura. "And how do you propose we get passed them?" Sakura smiled innocently.

"With our womanly charm of course. We can be the next victims." Naruto raised his head fully off the table. He stared at Sakura in horror. "What? I don't wanna be raped!" He exclaimed. Sakura punched him upside the head. "Not for real, we're only going to pretend to be victims." Naruto seemed to relax considerably. "Oh… okay." Sakura sighed and mumbled "idiot" under her breath. Sasuke made sure to disguise his voice with a jutsu before the three of them made their way to the two ninja standing by the door. They couldn't see or sense Kakashi, but they knew he was there.

One of the ninja raised his hand. "Hold up, this is the room of Tarukane." Once he laid eyes on Sasuke however, he quickly changed his tune. "Oh… why hello there miss. What might you need?" Sasuke knew he was being addressed, so he put his hands behind his back in an innocent manner and gave the ninja his best kicked puppy look. "I-I heard Tarukane was giving money to any girl here who wanted to be his bride. I thought I fit the description." The guy practically had hearts in his eyes. "Yes, he did, but what would a lovely young woman like yourself need money for?" Naruto and Sakura eyed Sasuke from the corner of their eyes. Giving him a look that asked him if he knew what he was doing. Sasuke disregarded them in favor of working his way into that room.

Sasuke raised his hand to cover his mouth in an act of innocent modesty. "W-well you see… my mother is very ill… and I have no way to pay for her treatment…. I thought this was the best way to get it." He looked back up at the guard and nearly blew his cover by glaring when he saw the guy had tears in his eyes, and had accepted the lie without question. 'He's more of a fool than Naruto…'

"All right… You can go in." He said between hiccups. Sasuke walked up along with Naruto and Sakura, but the two of them were stopped. The other guard put a hand up in front of them. "But not you two, go on home." Sasuke looked back and shrugged before making his way into Tarukane's room. Sakura eyed the men standing in the doorway. "Did they just brush me off?" Naruto sensed the oncoming wave of a personality change. "N-no Sakura, Sasuke just had a believable story." Sakura didn't even seem to be paying attention to him.

"Do they think…a guy is prettier than me!" Naruto held Sakura back before she could storm the two ninjas stationed at the door.

Sasuke was allowed inside by the two guards stationed on the inside of the room. Sasuke looked around a moment before his head snapped to the voice he heard coming from the direction of the window. "Well well well, what have we here?" The guy had his back turned toward Sasuke. Sasuke eyed his back suspiciously, while thinking of a new plan since he was the only one who managed to get in. Tarukane turned around slowly to face his newest victim. "Ah, a very pretty one this time." He walked over to Sasuke slowly. Sasuke resisted the urge to puke when arms were wrapped around him and hands found their way to his rear. Why is it always the ass?

"So, came here to become my bride have you?" He asked in a sickeningly disgusting way that reminded Sasuke of Orochimaru. A thought he really wasn't fond of. But he grinned regardless. "What can I say, I'm attracted to men with power." Easy enough, and not entirely false. He was attracted to people with power, just not ugly guys with power who abused it. "Ah, I see." Something in the way the guy was speaking sent a nervous chill up Sasuke's spine. One of the hands on his backside slowly ran up the raven's back. Tarukane used that hand to press Sasuke further into himself. Sasuke found it extremely difficult not to puke on the man's shoulder.

"You know, I already know what you are, so you can drop the whole innocent act." Sasuke's eyes widened in shock. Had he given himself away that easily? Had he focused too hard on maintaining his feminine voice? His movements ceased and his breathing became shallow.

'Don't falter… since he already knows, I can just threaten him….' The two ninja behind him shifted as if reminding him of their presence.

Outside of the room, Naruto and Sakura had found Kakashi. The three of them were already making plans on how to get Sasuke out if the situation got ugly. "We need to give him some time. If it takes longer than thirty minutes, we're going in after him. All right?" The two ninja beside him nodded.

They were eyeing the door in anxious anticipation of what was to come.

Back in the room, Sasuke had been weighing out his options in his mind. Take the guards down and risk hurting civilians, or cooperate and hear Tarukane out. He decided not to drop the female voice. Although it seemed Tarukane knew he was a ninja, it didn't seem he knew he was a male ninja.

"Okay, well since the cat's out of the bag, what do you intend to do?" Tarukane moved his head very close to Sasuke's and near his ear. Sasuke felt the disgusting lips and breath and nearly choked on his own saliva. "I have this whole place lined with explosives, try anything… and the whole place goes boom." Sasuke's eyes widened a fraction larger.

Great… of course he'd use some underhanded trick to safeguard his ass completely. Sasuke gnashed his teeth together painfully. Okay… rethink previous options. Test him to see if he's bluffing and risk Kakashi, Naruto, and Sakura getting blown up as well as roughly fifty other civilians… or, see where he's going with this.

"Okay… I'm listening." The man next to his ear chuckled darkly. "Good girl. I assume you've heard of the missing girls, otherwise, I don't think you'd be here right now." Man… this guy smelled like straight up ass. He wished he would back up just a little. "Brilliant deduction." The dark chuckle came back and rumbled next to his ear. "Ah, a fiery one. How I would love to tame you." Ugh… how disgusting…

Sasuke couldn't hide the disgusted shiver that ran through him. "Come with me, and I'll release all of them. Refuse my offer, and not only will I kill everyone here, but I'll force you to come with me and kill the girls within my possession."

Oh, how lovely.

Tarukane removed his head from Sasuke's ear and grabbed the raven's jaw lightly. He lifted it so as to get in better range for a kiss. Sasuke nearly started hyperventilating.

Fuck… FUCK. What do I do? What the fuck am I going to do?

The man's face inched closer and Sasuke was nearly about to tear himself away from the man when the door suddenly crashed open. But who came through that door… was not whom he expected.

Instead of Kakashi, or Naruto, or Sakura… who dashed into the room… was the ninja he had so easily fooled before. Tarukane looked as equally surprised as Sasuke himself did. "Do not worry miss Ai! I will save you!" He dashed forward, already taking the other two ninja out who were too confused with the situation to do anything but gawk around dumbly.

Miss what…?

"Unhand her!" He wailed, throwing Tarukane off of Sasuke who just let himself fall to the floor after the man who had nearly put his filthy lips on him was gone.

What the hell is going on?

Sasuke turned around to see his fellow three ninjas grinning at him in sheer amusement while standing in the doorway. They walked in and stood beside Sasuke. Naruto bent forward to get in the raven haired boy's face.

"Thanks Ai, we couldn't have done it without you." Sasuke gaped like a fish out of water, still so utterly confused. "While you were in there, this ninja here had gotten so worked up about sending you in to be molested by Tarukane that he had to do something. He told us where the girls were and off he went gallantly galloping in to save his love." Kakashi concluded. He couldn't help but chuckle at the expression on Sasuke's face. It truly was priceless.

"And we named you Ai, hope you don't mind too much." Naruto said standing up straight again with a sadistic grin on his face. "Actually, NARUTO, named you Ai. It wasn't a unanimous decision." Sakura said to console any feelings of anger Sasuke might have directed at her.

Sasuke glared up at the three. "So… I just got molested for nothing?" He asked breathlessly. Kakashi chuckled. "Well, look at the bright side, he wouldn't have told us anything if you hadn't of went in there in the first place. He had just felt so guilty."

I hate this day. I hate this day. I HATE this day.

"And as for the explosives, we defused them. The ninja over there told us where they were as well."

The four of them looked over at the ninja who was beating the crap out of Tarukane. Sasuke stood on shaky legs. "Lets just… get this over with." The girls still needed saving, and right after that, Sasuke was going to hole himself up in his house and call it a day. The other three ninja of Konoha followed Sasuke out of the room. Two of them in visible amusement and the other in worry.

They had made their way out of the club and were on their way to their next destination when a voice cried out to them. Or… to Sasuke.

"Miss Ai! Miss Ai!" Sasuke stilled and hunched his shoulders. He mechanically turned his head to look over his shoulder at his newest stalker. He seemed slightly out of breath. "Miss Ai…" He regained his composure and turned Sasuke around, grabbing his small pale hands in his larger tan ones. "You… are my first love." Sasuke started foaming at the mouth. He really did. Naruto started laughing his ass off, but the ninja disregarded the other three completely.

"Will… will you marry me?" Sasuke stared at the man holding his hands in disbelief. Really? Honestly? Truly? This guy knew NOTHING of him…

Sasuke quickly recovered and thought of something to say to him that would put him down gently. This guy did save them a lot of trouble after all. "W-well you see… I can't." The guy seemed shocked at being rejected. "You said you were marrying for money to help your sick mother, I will help you Ai!"

Fuck… maybe that was his favorite word. Huh.

"Uh… uh… well you see… I can't because…" He looked around and noticed Naruto was still laughing hysterically. He grabbed the blonde's arm and forced him toward himself. "I'm really a lesbian."

Kakashi and Sakura were finding it increasingly difficult to not laugh hysterically themselves. The man didn't waver. "I can deal with that. We can have threesomes whenever you like."

That was it, Naruto was banging on the floor in complete hysteria. Sasuke was back to gaping like a fish in disbelief of the lot of this day. "W-well you se… I…" He ran behind Sakura who was giggling with tears streaming down her face. He whispered harshly into her ear. "Help me!" Sakura regained her composure and looked at the man standing expectantly over them. "Well, she can't because… she's afraid of penises." Sasuke's eyes widened comically large. He guffawed at the back of Sakura's head.

He then looked up at the man. "Y-yes… I've been dealing with it for awhile… and I thought I was ready to overcome my fear… but you see…. I now know I'm still not quite ready." The ninja pushed away Sakura and placed his hands on Sasuke's shoulders. "It's okay Ai. We can work through it together."

What. The. FUCK.

That was it. He dropped the female voice and glared at the man. "Look, I'm a guy. A MALE. I just came here in a disguise. All right?" The guy blinked several times in confusion. "But if you're a man, why are you afraid to get near a penis?" Sasuke had never felt more defeated by a question. Naruto was yelling things that sounded like, "PLEASE, PLEASE STOP. I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE!" Kakashi had turned away.

The man didn't relinquish his hold on Sasuke's shoulders. "That's okay. We can work something out, I know we can." Sasuke just let his head fall forward limply. The other three couldn't stop laughing. A familiar sound of birds could be heard, and the trademark blue sparks surrounding Sasuke's fist could be seen.

"CHIDORI."


Mission complete.