Callie and Arizona have put the trauma of the last couple of months behind them and are gradually healing their relationship when a seemingly innocuous incident threatens the very foundations of their love and the possibility of a future together.
Rated: M for language and mature themes.
They say that there are only 7 basic plots, so if this story feels derivative or familiar, I apologise, it probably is. Romance, angst, sex and potty humour to be found herein and not necessarily in that order. I also realise that I didn't do what good writers are supposed to do i.e. arrive late and leave early, the story meanders forever; sorry about that. This is almost exclusive Callie and Arizona, the other GA characters do pop up from time to time but please don't be counting on a fully fledged GA episode here.
If the spirit moves you, feel free to leave feedback, constructive criticism or tell me that I used the semi colon incorrectly.
Oh yeah, I speak no Spanish and I have zero medical knowledge. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and all characters belong to ABC, Shondra Rhimes et al. No profit being made here etc, etc etc.
"I like my life the way it is. I don't want it to change. I thought I liked you in it. I hope I'm not wrong."
Each word seemed to slash at her, as vicious as a blade of steel. Arizona's face was cold and resolute, her eyes opaque and Callie felt herself physically shrink from the onslaught, wondering how she had got it so very badly wrong. Wondering how she could make the pain just stop.
The blonde stood and walked out, ignoring Callie's pleas.
Arizona walked away.
Callie jerked awake, her heart hammering in her chest.
It was only a dream.
It was only a dream.
She knew that it was more than just a dream, it was a memory. An event traumatic enough to be welded to her subconscious.
Blindly, she reached out, shaking and found Arizona's hand, curled in the space between their bodies.
Callie clasped it, needing to know that the woman who slept beside her was real. The unutterable torment of the dream slowly began to ebb away.
"Cal? You ok?" Arizona's voice was husky from sleep as she rolled over.
Callie swallowed hard and tried to still the wild beating in her chest.
"It's ok, I'm fine. Go back to sleep."
Arizona snuggled into Callie, placing her head on her partners warm bosom and lay there for half a second before sitting up fully.
"Baby, you're trembling. What's wrong?" Arizona leaned over Callie and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, stroking the dark hair away from the face of the woman she loved.
Callie took another deep breath and forced a small smile to her lips, willing the tremors to go away.
"Just a bad dream, hon. I'm ok."
"Was it about Gary Clarke?"
They had both gone through a spate of sleepless nights and tortured dreams in the aftermath of the Seattle Grace Mercy West shootings, but it had been months since either one of them had woken up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, dreaming of the madman who roamed the halls of the place they had once felt so safe in.
"No. No, it was nothing, Arizona, let's just go back to sleep." Callie lay still and closed her eyes, hoping that Arizona would let the matter drop.
Though it was still quite dark out, the faint glow of the street lights illuminated Callie's face; to Arizona she looked like a work of art, both wondrous and dramatic, a majestic Latin noblewoman from a different age, a different time.
But she was too still, her face as immobile as a sculpture, the fire that always lurked in her dark eyes was hidden behind her closed lids and Arizona felt a flash of irrational panic. Something had disturbed her so much that it had tortured her unconscious mind and scared her into wakefulness. It clearly wasn't nothing.
"Calliope, baby, please tell me what's wrong?" She cupped her warm cheek, her thumb stroking the corner of her incredibly mobile lips.
Callie swallowed again and finally opened her eyes, looking up into the darkened room, her eyes unerringly finding Arizona's blue gaze. The concern and love was clear to see and Callie again felt the relief that the anguish of her dream was in the past.
She shook her head mutely, not knowing how to say the words. Not wanting to remember that time, not so long ago, when they had lost each other.
Instinctively, Arizona knew what was wrong and felt a twist of pain shoot through her.
She had been cruel to Callie, hard and unyielding. Unwilling to compromise in the slightest.
At the time, she thought that she was protecting her way of life. But in retrospect, she had been scared of the unknown, of something that she had never wanted because it was something that she thought she could never have. Lesbians had babies all the time but somehow, she hadn't thought that it was something she could do. And so, it became something that she didn't want to do.
The shocking incident that had brought them back together had also forced them to confront their fears and talk about their insecurities with each other. They were in a better place than they had been before, they were stronger. But they were human and sometimes old fears came back for no good reason.
"I love you, my darling and I'm not going to leave you." She made the declaration simply, her words clear, making Callie hear them through the mist of her nightmare.
"I'm sorry I hurt you." Arizona leaned forward and grazed her lips gently across Callie's wanting her to feel the depth of her emotions through her words and her touch.
Callie pulled Arizona to her chest and held her tight, murmuring quietly, almost reverently.
"I love you so much. I love you so much ..."
Callie poured two cups of coffee and checked her watch. Clad in her bath robe, she'd already had a shower and dried her hair and had about 40 minutes before her shift started. She wanted to spend a bit of time having breakfast with Arizona before she left.
Despite the shitty night she had, Callie wasn't overly tired but her mind was troubled. Undoubtedly, her split with Arizona a few months ago had been the single hardest thing she had ever endured; Erica Hahn's unexpected departure, George's betrayal and tragic death, even her estrangement from her family hadn't compared to the gut-wrenching, almost primeval loss of Arizona. But they had worked hard and got over it. Even though it had taken a gun-toting, grief-stricken madman to make them see that they needed each other.
They had got over it.
So where the sam hill had that nightmare come from?
Callie was no Freudian, but she figured that something must have been playing on her mind for that specific memory to come back and haunt her.
Carrying a tray laden with the coffee, juice, fruit and croissants, Callie walked back into the room that they shared and couldn't help but smile at the sight that greeted her.
Her lover had clearly woken up briefly and fallen back asleep and was now sprawled across the bed on her back, arms out flung and hair everywhere.
Arizona was beautiful when she was asleep.
She was beautiful all the time, always, but there was something that Callie found both angelic and unbearably erotic about the tumbled blonde curls and soft pink lips of a sleeping Arizona. She had a habit of wetting her lips and making a very soft moaning sound in her sleep that invariable got Callie hot and bothered at the most inopportune of times.
Callie placed the tray down on the chest of draws and sat beside her sleeping beauty and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.
"Morning, sweetie," Callie smiled as Arizona's lashes fluttered for a second before opening wide, the blue irises as deep and tranquil as the Aegean.
"Every time. Every time." Callie murmured quietly and leaned in to steal another kiss, this time a little bit longer, a little bit deeper, her tongue softly brushing against Arizona's.
She could feel the smile on the blonde's mouth and sunk in just a little more.
Arizona blinked slowly and stretched, her lithe body moving sensuously against Callie's in such a way that the orthopaedic surgeon wondered if she could risk being late for her shift this morning.
"Every time, what?" Arizona asked, smiling slightly at the intent expression on Callie's face. They both
knew what was on her mind right now.
She watched as the desire left Callie's eyes to be replaced by something else, something so intense that Arizona hesitated to name it.
Callie bit her lip for a second and Arizona thought that she might not answer but her gaze didn't flinch or waver and she shrugged, almost helplessly.
"Every time I look into your eyes, that crystal blue gaze, I... I just want to drown in them."
Arizona took a second to luxuriate in the love that encompassed her and then sat up and wrapped her arms around Callie and leaned close.
"You do realise that the feeling is completely mutual, right?" Arizona loved nothing more than to sink into the deep warm chocolate molasses of Callie's gaze. She found it hypnotic, soothing and often, more than often, if she was honest, the passion that burnt in those dark eyes had brought her to a shuddering release.
Sinking her hands into the long dark hair, Arizona decided to steal a few kisses of her own and slowly sucked Callie's full, rosy lower lip into her mouth, her tongue teasing and her teeth gently grazing. She released Callie's lip and ever so slowly stroked her tongue along the length's of her lover's and smiled again as she heard Callie's breathing change.
She knew it wasn't fair to start something she couldn't finish, Callie had a shift in half an hour but the lure of the warm curves, the hands that were gripping her waist, the mouth that was greedily feeding on hers, all these things clouded her mind, wreaked any noble intention and as one of her hands gripped a handful of black hair, the other found its way to cup a heavy breast; her thumb flicking on the already hardened nipple. Callie's moan galvanised her and with minimal effort, Arizona pushed her back on the bed and snaked herself between Callie's thighs, her knee pressed firmly against Callie's enflamed core.
"Oh God...Arizona, what are you doing to me?" Callie ground out, cupping Arizona's pert behind, her strong hands kneading the soft flesh like it was dough, the tips of her fingers straying ever closer , through the tiny shorts , to where Arizona needed her most.
"Honey... you ...really...don't ...know?" Each word was interspersed with an open-mouthed kiss along Callie's neck and throat.
Arizona flicked her tongue along the indentation of Callie's pulse point and felt the wild flutter under her tongue. She moved down just a little and sunk her teeth in the swell of one of Callie's breast and felt the woman rise underneath her.
Callie slipped her hand under the shorts and toyed with Arizona, her fingers merely skating around where Arizona really, really needed them to go.
"You know I've got work soon," she bit out as Arizona ground her thigh into the slick, hot juncture between Callie's thighs sending bolts of sheer passion through every nerve in her body.
"Baby, I know but I just want ..." Arizona trailed off as Callie stroked her, not quite there but close, so close.
"Mmmm? Tell me what you want?" Callie asked, a glint of pure devilment in her eyes.
Arizona started this and now she suspected that she had bitten off more than she could chew, all she could focus on was her thigh that was writhing up against the heat that Callie was emitting and the slow, stroking fingers that were sending her to oblivion.
"I just want a little sugar, baby, that's all," Arizona panted.
"You want some sugar in your bowl?" Callie asked looking up at the flushed face of her lover. Arizona nodded, her eyes deep azure with passion, her lips deeply pink and full. Her hair fell in waves over Callie, who was going through sheer hell to hang on. Arizona was still in her tank top and Callie could see her nipples protruding and the dusky pink of her areola clearly visible through the light cotton.
Wordlessly, Callie flipped Arizona over and pulled her top off, her mouth going dry at the sight. Arizona wriggled out of her shorts and lay back, staring intently at Callie. She stretched out one leg and hooked it behind Callie's back, opening herself up, with complete abandon.
"I need you, Calliope. I need you now."
The simplicity of the words hit Callie, with the force of a sledgehammer and she almost flung herself on Arizona, needing to give her everything she desired. Though there were only a few inches difference in height, Callie knew that she was so much stronger than Arizona and sometimes was worried that the force of her passion and loving making might actually hurt the blonde. But Arizona was tough and on more than one occasion had whispered in Callie's ear to go deeper, to be harder, to be rougher.
Callie's mouth latched onto one of those glorious breasts and took as much of it into her mouth and in the same instant sunk two fingers straight into the burning heart of Arizona's need.
Arizona's body half rose off the bed, her back arching and almost dislodged Callie. She also let out a throaty moan of satisfaction, her nails raking along Callie's back as they quickly found a rhythm; hard, fast and dirty.
Callie released the breast, knowing that she probably left a bruise and hooked her free arm around Arizona's waist, getting to her knees and positioned Arizona's legs around her, allowing her deeper access.
Arizona flung her arm around Callie's neck and held on tight as she rode each thrust. Her face was buried in the smooth olive shoulder and she muffled her increasingly loud cries of encouragement and pleasure in the toned skin.
"Is this enough sugar?" Callie growled into Arizona's ear, each thrust of her fingers a little deeper than the one before.
Arizona's blonde hair was dark with sweat and plastered to her face, she opened her eyes and they glittered with an almost feral passion.
She sunk her teeth into Callie's shoulder and without warning slid her fingers into Callie's slick and waiting sex.
"Oh you bitch, that's ...soooo ... gooood." Callie was so close she could barely get the words out as Arizona firmly stroked Callie's hot, moist centre.
Unable to keep her eyes open she began to massage Arizona's clit with her thumb and at almost the same moment, Arizona began flicking her fingers inside Callie between thrusts. Their bodies moved together, a sheen of perspiration covering them as breasts and stomachs and thighs melded as they became one.
The sensations coursing through both women was sending them, inexorably closer to the edge of their own personal precipice and Arizona, feeling the shockwaves begin to tear away at the outer edges of her sanity buried her free hand in Callie's hair and pulled hard, forcing her to open her eyes.
Callie eyes were heavy-lidded and almost molten black, her beautiful mouth stretched in a wordless, silent gasp of pleasure.
"Look at me. Come with me, Calliope. Come with me."
Callie crushed her mouth against Arizona and threw the last remnants of control to the wind even as she felt Arizona unravel completely.
They finally collapsed on the bed, arms and legs entwined, panting and shivering with the aftershocks of their multiple orgasms.
Arizona placed sloppy kiss on what turned out to be Callie's bicep, she was sprawled over her and showed no intention of moving anytime soon.
"Baby, that was ... "
"Good, huh? Callie was amused at the awe in Arizona's voice, even though she shared it.
"Good, really doesn't cover it. That was like ... like a class 5 tornado." Arizona flopped over onto her back and screwed up her eyes trying to think.
"A tornado? That's it?" Callie sat up and pushed her hair out of her eyes, mock disdain for the comparison on her face. She reached over and grabbed a glass of juice, offering it to Arizona, whose eyes lit up at the breakfast tray.
"Oh you sweetheart, you brought me breakfast in bed." Arizona flashed a smile and Callie smiled and shook her head. Despite what they had just shared, the smile on her lovers face made her heart thump hard in her chest. She really was putty in Arizona's hands.
"I brought you breakfast in bed AND I gave you mind-altering sex and the best you can come up with is a class 5 tornado?" she said, trying to prove to herself that she wasn't completely whipped.
Arizona held on to the glass with both hands and took a long gulp of juice and tried to think. In truth, her mind, as much as her body had been turned to complete and utter mush. She could not think straight; even now, there were still tiny little tremors shooting through her and though she was completely sated, for now, the sight of Callie's incredible body was distracting.
"Umm a volcano?" she offered, beaming at Callie, the dimples coming out in full force.
"If we're going down the natural disaster route, again, I have to admit, hon, I'm a little disappointed" Callie broke off a piece of croissant and popped it in Arizona's mouth.
She deliberately didn't check the time. She was going to be late for rounds and though she had no surgery scheduled for the morning, she did have charting to do and some research. But right now, she was going to be a little irresponsible and spend some time with her baby.
"An earthquake? A tsunami? A meteor?" Arizona offered squealing with laughter as Callie turned up her nose at each attempt.
"Come on, what could possible beat a meteor?"
Callie stood up and pressed a deep, drugging kiss into Arizona's mouth feeling the response from her immediately.
"Baby, we just went Super Nova and if you're good, we can do it again tonight." Callie grinned and finally looked at the clock. It was bad but not desperate; she would jump into the shower again, change, get to rounds and only be 15 minute late.
Arizona chewed her breakfast and ginned up a Callie.
"You are so competitive, only you would think of a Super Nova."
"Bite me," Callie stuck out her tongue and walked off to the shower.
"I already did," came the reply.
"No, it's mature and responsible."
"Just thinking about it gives me the creeps." Mark Sloan took a large bite out of his sandwich and leaned back, eying his buddy with suspicion.
"And since when did you become such a grown up?"
Callie looked down at her salad for moment and decided to answer him seriously.
"The same time you did, Mark. It changed everything. It changed everyone." Her voice was sombre; they were all trying to heal in their own different ways.
Mark, already rocked by his split with Little Grey, had watched impotently as she poured her heart out to a delirious man seeking not her but his ex-wife. Karev was on the mend with Lexie by his side and Mark, for once, had refrained from nurses, pharmaceutical reps and every manner of inappropriate sexual escapade.
"Yeah, ok but I still think it's morbid. What did Robbins have to say? You gonna have matching wills?"
"I haven't discussed it with her yet. I'm trying think things out; I don't want to rush things." Callie dropped her fork and pushed her salad away.
"We only just got back on an even keel; it's too early to ...to...to think about the future..."
She trailed off and a wistful almost yearning expression crossed her face.
"Are you thinking about getting knocked up now?" Mark asked, surprise colouring his tone.
"No, you idiot, what do you take me for?" Callie was irritated at him.
"Were you not paying attention to the copious amounts of tears, tantrums and depression that we both went through recently?" She didn't wait for him to answer.
"Arizona and I have talked, at length and honestly about having children and we will, in a few years and I'll be doing the carrying. I'm not talking about that. I want to ..."
"You want to marry her?" Mark filled in the obvious blank.
Callie nodded, wordlessly.
"And you think that it's too early to start thinking about it?"
"I really do love her. So much."
Mark frowned, he could see that she was close to tears but couldn't understand why.
"So what's the problem? She loves you, you know that, right?"
Callie slumped in her chair and looked around the busy cafeteria doctors, nurses, interns, sat, ate, read, chatted and got on with their lives the best they could.
Almost every member of staff had been affected in one way or another by the incident and there was on-going counselling that Richard Webber had made available for the all that needed it.
"It's not that. I feel guilty, Mark. I feel that I shouldn't have this."
Mark shrugged, his face bewildered.
"I wonder if we would have found a way through if it hadn't been for Gary Clarke? It almost feels like bad karma or something to have found so much happiness at the expense of so much horror and sorrow."
"Jeez, Torres you cannot think like that. You just can't." Mark said his words forcible, almost harsh.
"One thing has nothing to do with the other. You and Robbins are clearly both stubborn as mules but you would have found a way." He nodded his head emphatically.
"You would have."
Callie shrugged and thought about her nightmare the previous night.
"I don't know why, but I dreamt of one of our arguments last night, where she said she wasn't sure if she wanted me in her life. I think it hurt more now than it did at the time."
"Cal, you're over-thinking things, you know you are." Mark sighed.
"Look, run off to Canada or Hawaii or wherever and get married if that's what you want." He grinned lasciviously "I'll throw the bachelor party for you, we can get lesbian strippers."
Despite herself, Callie laughed.
"A bachelor party, Mark? With you? Really? I doubt Arizona would ever forgive me."
Mark picked up his tray and looked down at her, shaking his head in mock despair.
"You are so completely whipped. Seriously, who are you and what have you done with my bad-ass, hardcore buddy?"
Callie flipped him the finger and laughed as he stalked off.