I looked at Jake from afar. It was hard to believe that happy-go-lucky Jake was so depressed. I mean, it wasn't like him and the leech-lover were ever together. He may have loved her and wanted puppies, but oh no, she was too busy becoming a necrophilliac.
He sighed heavily and hunched his shoulders. Unrequited love is a bitch. I should know, more so than anyone else in the pack. I knew his pain, I shared it. Speaking of pain, mine was getting better, I guess. I'm not pining for Sam anymore but I hate that I felt so heartbroken while he felt nothing but love, it just wasn't fair.
"Leah?" Jake said. I opened my eyes to see him standing in front of me, he must have moved whilst I was lost in the past.
"Hey..." I trailed off awkwardly.
"You spying on me?" he asked seriously. Shrugging I stepped away from him. I swear that boy has no sense of personal space.
"Sam sent me to check on you." Wrong thing to say.
He snorted without humor. "I want to be alone."
I rolled my eyes. "Well no shit Sherlock. However, our oh so caring leader says you've got patrol at dawn."
He closed his eyes and half-turned away. "You're not helping yourself by remembering her..." I told him, probably being far too abrupt, but that's me, Little Miss Sensitive.
His eyes snapped open, and he spun back to face me. Staring into his dark eyes, I was reminded of my own after the Emily incident; they were hurt, and pissed.
"Go away Leah." His voice was barely more than a snarl.
I smirked humorlessly, trying to intimidate a female werewolf who seemed to be on constant PMS? Futile.
"Or what?" I said lifting my head up and staring him out. Showing him that I was not afraid.
"Leah, don't test me I'm not in my right mind." He warned, shaking, he obviously was trying not to fight as well as trying not to phase. That's when I blew up. Thinks he's so superior; fighting his natural instincts, acting like he's the only one who has experienced pain.
"Kiss my ass, Jacob. Stop acting like you're the only one who's been hurt. Suck it up and move on! Stop acting like a whiny little bitch!" I yelled pushing him in the chest.
He stumbled back for a mere second, not expecting the push, before stepping closer, getting right in my face.
"So I should stop acting like you? Because that's how you act all the time. We're all sick of your whining how bout you get over Sam and move on. He obviously has."
I almost phased right then and there, I was so angry. All I could think of was how Sam had moved on and how happy he was and how no matter how hard I tried I couldn't move on, I couldn't be happy. I shook my head, and bolted out of there, shaking like a leaf but staying human. I didn't want the pack to hear me right now.
By the time I stopped running my feet were screaming in pain, there are definitely disadvantages to running around forests barefoot. I ran as far up the mountain I could before I realized that no matter how far I ran, the pain would still be there, following me, holding me, imprisoning me.
I screamed as loud as I could, hearing it echo across the forest. I was so trapped by my heartbreak, trapped by what I was. I was just stuck here, forever. No matter what would happen, I would be stuck here, confined by duty, nostalgia and family.
My knees buckled and I wept. For the first time in a long while, I simply sat and cried. Even when Sam imprinted, I didn't weep, I got angry. This pain was different, I just wanted to die as I curled up in a ball and closed my eyes, hoping sleep would ease the pain, help me forget it if only for a couple of hours.
When the sun rose I pulled myself out of my tiny bed and went on border patrol. I knew I wasn't ready for this but Sam had ordered it, and what Sam wants, Sam gets. I can understand his reasoning; if I could get back into the swing of things I'd feel better. Even though I understand the reasoning, I disagreed with it.
When I finally phased, just inside the tree line, it seemed like everyone currently phased was in a panic. There were several thought trains, but all had an underlying mission: find Leah.
What? Since when is she missing?
No one has seen her since her patrol yesterday. Seth thought, obviously worried for his sister.
He wasn't the only one worried. Leah may not be the most predictable person, but she does not run away. It was one of her more admirable qualities. Even though she would have opportunity and motive to run, even being the fastest of us all, she never ran away from her problems. She simply sat back and took whatever life threw at her, usually with a snarky comment.
Jake, she was supposed to talk to you yesterday. Seth said. I could feel the others focusing on me.
My mind flashed back to our little 'talk' everything that was said. She pushed my buttons and I pushed hers, just like we always have done.
What did you say? Seth growled listening to my thoughts.
The memory flashed back to me, incredibly vivid.
So I should stop acting like you? Because that's how you act all the time. We're all sick of your whining how bout you get over Sam and move on. He obviously has.
For the first time, the hive mind dulled, only for a few seconds, before the shock faded and anger became more prominent.
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? Seth yelled.
She provoked me. I yelled back.
Dude low blow. Paul added, with Jared agreeing. I growled at them both.
She was trying to help you! I couldn't tell if this came from Seth or Sam.
I realized it was Seth as his mind flashed to a conversation between her, him and Sam. Sam had asked Seth to tell me about my patrol but Leah volunteered. Reasoning that she knew what I was going through. It was true she had gone through heartbreak, worse than I had Sam had loved her back, before he imprinted; I never had that opportunity with Bella.
I thought about what she had said. You're only hurting yourself by remembering her. I groaned.
See, she was trying to help you and you said that to her you're a fucking asshole Jake! Seth growled.
Man, he's pissed I've never heard a cuss word out the kids mouth.
He was backed up by similar thoughts from Sam and Embry, who had been surprisingly quiet up until now.
I sighed heavily and made my way to where I had seen her last hoping I could track her scent.
Oh, so now you feel guilty. Seth growled. I couldn't help but be relieved he was on the far side of the rez, if he was any closer I have no doubt he would take a swipe at me.
I found her scent quickly, and started tracing it. It went up the mountain, far up the mountain, crisscrossing in a random fashion, as if she was unsure of where she was going, just running aimlessly. She had run for miles, yet not as a wolf...
Human… Seth whined thinking of how hurt she must've been. Poor kid, he was very worried about his sister, although I knew if...when she was found, they would both pretend to be oblivious to it.
Sam was the closest to me but still far behind, followed by Embry, Paul, Jared and Seth bringing up the rear. Where ever this trail led I would get there first. I ran for another 5 minutes until I saw her curled up on the ground. I phased before Seth could say anything and put my sweats on and ran to her. She was sleeping soundly, with a frown on her face, or at least, that's what I thought.
I tried to wake her but she didn't move.
"Leah" I said shaking her. No response. I put my head to heart and listened. Her heart was beating, faster than it should have been, even for a wolf. Her breath was shallow and labored.
Worried, I pulled away and picked her up, holding her limp body in my arms bridal style with her head draped over my arm, whilst her arms were swinging lifelessly swinging.
God, what did I do?
"What happened?" I heard Sam's voice boom from the trees. He stepped out and ran to us, still pulling his shorts on. I averted my eyes.
"I found her like this...she won't wake up." I told him honestly.
He felt her pulse. "She's alive just unconscious." He sighed in relief before glaring at me half-heartedly. Regardless of connection with Emily it was clear he still loved Leah...a lot, except now, it was more the brotherly bond shared by most of the pack. I started running back towards La Push, trying not to jolt Leah too much, but refusing to let Sam carry her. I had caused this, so I had to deal with it. I had to fix it.
Seth met us at the border, trying to take her from my arms.
"Seth let me just get her to the house ok...please." I begged him.
He glared stonily at me, in a manner creepily similar to Leah's own harsh glares, but nodded nonetheless.
We got to Sue's quickly, entering through the back garden. As soon as we walked in the door she shrieked, rushing to her daughter's side.
"I just found her like this...she's unconscious." I told her, semi-truthfully, knowing she would get the abridged version later.
Sue took a deep breath. "Let's get her into her room." she said. I nodded and went to her room then laid her down carefully. All of a sudden, she looked so small, huddled on the twin sized bed. Nothing like the large personality she usually portrays.
"Give her some space for minute." Sue said looking around at the 3 large men in the room, there was no room for all of us so we walked back into the front room leaving mother and daughter in peace.
Next thing I knew I was on the ground a pain in my jaw. I looked up to see Seth shaking over me, both fists raised... "Hasn't she had enough of you bastards hurting her?" He yelled looking from me to Sam, almost hysterically.
"Seth, calm down." Sue said walking in the room soundlessly and placing a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it comfortably.
He took a deep breath as I got up, rubbing my jaw.
"I am tired..." he voice quivered almost violently causing me to raise a brow. I didn't know he could get so mad. Seth was usually such a positive personality. He took another deep breath before continuing.
"...I am tired of watching her get hurt." He shook his head sadly. "She didn't deserve it any of it... she was and still is a good person." He closed his eyes. "She used to be so happy, she laughed, and she smiled. I miss my sister and all of this took her away from me, from us, but still tried to do her part she tried to help." His voice raised as he talked.
"Seth" Sam tried to speak but Seth's glare shut him up.
"No, I'm not done yet. I quit." he said, with a note of finality.
"WHAT?" we all said in shock. Sue included.
"I am done with hearing all about your happiness while I watch my sister dying inside. I am done with taking orders from the asshole that broke my sister's heart. You had to break my sister to get your happiness and that's something I cannot respect. You're a coward and I will never follow you." Seth growled. Sam growled back, trying to assert his Alpha authority.
"Hold on for a minute...everybody needs to calm down. Look the only thing that matters right now is Leah, we need to focus on her right now and deal with the other stuff later." I said trying to calm everyone down. This was not the time to be discussing this. Sue nodded approvingly, before going back to Leah.
Seth snarled at me.
"Now you want to care about her it's your fault she's in there now, Jake. Just because Bella ripped your heart out doesn't mean you can treat my sister like shit." He yelled at me pushing past, knocking me into Sam and out the door.
"Neither one of you are welcomed on my land again. Stay the fuck away from me and my sister." He said before slamming the door so hard the window shattered.
I got up and dusted myself off, then looked at Sam. He didn't say anything at all, not even acknowledging me. He looked in deep thought apparently something Seth said had got him thinking. I sighed and walked home.