Hip Bedding

London England – Wooly Swelter

They're not your usual squares, as much as you want them to be. Within the last few weeks, London has been infiltrated by a strange plague. This is not the sort of thing to keep the kiddies home from school for. No indeed, it is one to keep your galleons in your pocket instead. Blankets, yes, blankets have been turning up in astonishing numbers that were purchased square … and used triangular.

Since word of these strange events began circulating, retailers check daily their blanket stock and remove the offending items, only to receive complaints from dissatisfied customers that their product was not as advertised once they got it home. Unwary sleepers have awakened this cold winter, only to find their feet frostbitten.

"I went to bed with my feet fully covered and wrapped up. But when I awoke they were blue and purple and only my wife had blanket over her feet." Was one man's heartbreaking tale. "I just don't understand how they can sell such a malicious product. Don't buy blankets!"

He was unavailable for further comment as the Healers wheeled him into a private room at St. Mungos. Status as yet unknown, yet words that will echo for as long as this horrific tribulation continues. Don't buy blankets indeed. But what instead?

It is a truly sad day in the wizarding world when even blankets turn against their owners. Wooly Swelter here, to keep you updated on this breaking news. I hope to have information on safe blanket purchases for you in the near future. Signing off.