NTYP Chapter 1
This is a Bella/Jacob story
(but don't be surprised by vampire appearances)
DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns the characters ;)
"Don't!" I spat at Edward. He released my arm and I ran after Jacob. How did this happen? Edward said that Jacob was checking to see if the woods were clear. He wasn't supposed to hear!
I caught up to Jacob who was literally hyperventilating and pacing, holding his face in his hands. This strong man should not be crumbling apart because of me. I'm nothing.
He stopped and took his hands from his face, but he was still looking down. At least he seemed to have gotten his breathing under control. I wanted him to look at me. Was he disgusted in me? Yeah I was going to be the wife of a leech, but did he really hate me now? Please. I couldn't bear it if he hated me.
"I have to go." He stated firmly.
Go where? Go fight? Now? After this? I don't think so.
"Don't go, Jake." Why didn't he look at me? If he would just look at me I could tell in his eyes if he still saw me the same. His best friend. Just Bells.
"I'm going now." He started to shift his feet, but I wasn't having any of this.
"Don't go! Please!" I begged him, dropping to my knees.
I thought maybe he was considering my plea, the way he slowly looked up from his feet and directly at my tear-streaked face. He hadn't run. He stayed. He was listening to me. Maybe I could actually succeed…convince him not to fight.
"Please!" I could no longer contain the sobs that had been threatening to get loose. They quickly overtook my body as I lost control and wept before Jacob, on my knees, broken. Hopeless.
He squeezed his eyes shut and turned his face away from me. I knew I must have looked pathetic to him. So needy. The usual pathetic, needy Bella. How could I ask anything of him anymore? What right did I have? He wasn't mine and I wasn't his, as Edward had just made perfectly clear back at the campsite. Edward. How could he? I didn't know If I could ever look at him the same again. I made it clear that I wanted to wait. Tell Jacob myself. No. Edward always had to go on and do what he thought was best.
"I'll do anything! Whate…any…just…Jake…" I panted, frantically trying to find the right words.
He opened his eyes and turned his head to face me. The expression...the look on his beautiful face. I would never forget it in a hundred years…a million years. It would haunt me for the rest of my miserable life. I couldn't believe the amount of pain I saw in those eyes. Those piercing, deep, chocolate brown, beautiful eyes. They looked so incredibly gentle but at the same time they stabbed me like a knife through my pounding heart. I loved those eyes. I know he tried so hard to hide the anger and agony held within which those eyes simply failed to conceal.
His lips trembled as I slowly inched toward him on my knees, arms outstretched for him. I needed to hold him. Apologize. Let him know I was feeling this with him. I was in agony, too. He wasn't alone.
I stretched out a few fingers and almost touched his right arm when I heard a sharp, loud voice that stopped me abruptly.
"Bella." The stern, angry sound was such a shock, my sobs stopped. I weakly forced myself to look up into his face. I couldn't breathe, couldn't cry, couldn't make myself do anything but stare. Stare at the most exotic, exquisite, gorgeous living creature I'd ever beheld.
"Don't touch me." He shot the words out quickly and meaningfully.
He really didn't want me to touch him.
I slapped a hand over my mouth, trying not to start crying again… and failing.
"I..I can't…It's okay." His voice was suddenly softer, gentle.
"What do you mean…? My voice sounding almost as if someone had my throat in their grasp.
"Don't...don't do that.." He turned away from me and looked down, shoulders sagging.
I began to stand slowly, contemplating whether I should lay my hands on him and stroke his back to comfort him. He obviously needed comforting. I needed comforting. Couldn't we just comfort each other? Why was it so complicated?
My thoughts were quickly interrupted by the vision in front of me. It was a vision all right. His shiny, textured hair that reminded me of the sky at midnight graced my sight. A few highlighted strands here and there, reminiscent of silver moonlight casting the night sky. The slight curves of his silky hair that turned into a sharp end, fell perfectly against his dark neck. It was longer than when he had first cut it, but not long enough to graze his shoulders. My eyes followed down over his strong back, and I couldn't help but take in the rounded muscles underneath his caramel skin. I continued down over the rest of his beautiful, smooth back and oh the dip of his….
"You can't touch me again…ever." His words tore me from my admiration, and I noticed he was breathing hard.
"This is it." He turned around quickly to look me in the eyes. Taking a few steps forward, causing me to stumble backward. He reached out to grab my hands but stopped himself. I noticed his eyes were red and glistening."
"I…I can't s-survive with without you…if I feel you..your touch again." He stuttered.
"What,,,huh,,,without…me?" I felt dizzy.
Was he saying he didn't want to see me again? How could I live without him? No. I couldn't. I wouldn't!
"NO! Don't say that. Please!" I begged him. I needed his touch. Ignoring the words he had just spoken, I closed the short space between us and threw my arms around his neck. I grabbed desperately at any part of him I could. The easiest and closest was his hair. Grabbing and pulling at his silky, shaggy strands that were sticking out at all angles now.
"Bella…no." He lowered his head into the crook of my neck and I thought I felt something warm and wet drop onto my skin. Suddenly, two heavy, chiseled arms shot up around me into a crushing embrace.
"Jake." I choked out when his amazing arms knocked the air out of me.
"I love you." I whispered breathlessly into his ear.
"No." He moaned into my neck.
"Yes." I reassured him. "Yes."
We held each other for what seemed like the longest time but not nearly long enough. It could have been eternity and it wouldn't have been long enough. I thought I heard a muffled "No." and a "Please." but I'm not sure. He was crying into me now, and gripping at the shirt against my back. I felt his teeth against my skin and his hot breath as he shakily took air in and out against me. Finally, I felt him begin to calm. Once his sobs stopped was when I realized my own wet face. I felt him slowly release me from his stronghold, feeling the cool breeze on my shoulder that was soaked from his sweet tears. I wanted to kill myself for causing him to shed even one.
Jacob raised his head completely from me, and I could see full on what I was doing to him. His eyes were swollen and red as they peered into mine His dark beautiful bangs swept over his forehead, now stuck there from sweat and tears.. Those smooth cheeks were flushed and so hot when I took his face in my hands. I couldn't bear to watch this strong, masculine man turn into sand when he was always a firm rock. He kept me together in so many ways so many times. He kept me from falling apart. I wasn't supposed to let him fall now.
It seemed like such a long amount of time had gone by. Though, I knew it couldn't have been more than 5 minutes that had passed. No. That means it wasn't over yet. The Newborns were still coming. Maybe they were already here. Maybe, just maybe Jake had missed the whole fight and he was safe here, with me. He wasn't going to get hurt, get injured because of me. Thank God. But wait, it had only been about 5 minutes. Would the fight be over and done with that quickly?
"I don't want you to fight." I spoke as calmly as I could, still holding Jake's precious face in my hands.
"I..I have to. I don't have a choice." He struggled to get the words out through his still uneven breathing.
"No you don't! They won't even miss you!." I practically screamed at him. "There are so many. You're only one! Don't go! Where's Sam? I'll beg him if I have to!."
"Why? So I won't get hurt? So I'll be safe like your precious lee…er…Edward?" He spat out venomously.
"Yes...No! Jake!" I collapsed onto the ground on all fours and dug my fingers into the dirt. I couldn't contain my frustration, sorrow and utter helplessness I felt. I was holding them back as best I could, but the dry heaves finally came and like a bitch.
Jacob dropped down, kneeling beside me.
"Calm down, calm down." He gently rubbed circles on my back.
"Jake!" Someone called from the trees. "It's starting!"
Jacob looked up, as did I. Seth was running toward us, dodging branches as he bolted from the forest.
"It's starting…come on! They're wondering where you are!" Seth grabbed Jacob's arm roughly, trying to pull him off the ground.
Jacob turned to me and swiftly took my dirty hand from the earth and intertwined our fingers. Seth was relentless as he continued yanking on Jacob's arm. I tried to catch my breath after what I knew must have just been the onset of a panic attack.
"I love you …Bella…I love you!" Jacob dropped my hand and it fell back into the dirt. It happened so fast. He kissed the top of my head and darted toward the trees, with Seth falling shortly behind. I didn't even have time to say anything. Was this goodbye? Was I going to see him again? What if…oh God…what if he got hurt? Even…died? No…I couldn't think of it.