Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but Stephenie Meyer's does.

Summary: What happens when you have one bored vampire who has been stuck in the house because of the sun and a two year old who encourages him to act like a two year old? You get Emmett designing his own summer of fun and sucking everyone into it with him.

A special thanks to nails233 for her help. BTW, you should check out her stories.

Slippin' and a Slidin' Emmett Cullen Style

Chapter 1

Emmett's POV

It is yet another sunny day in Forks and there is absolutely nothing to do but sit around the house. I mean, seriously, when did Forks suddenly become the sunshine capital, that's supposed to be Florida. In the past few days, I had already annoyed everyone to the point where they were not even speaking to me. What's with people that cannot take a few jokes or pranks? So…here I sit, watching some boring movie that Alice picked out about two people who meet and fall instantly in love. I rolled my eyes thinking that it is such a crock, it never happens like that, it's totally unrealistic. Although, Edward and Bella did, but those two are just weird, so it doesn't count.

"Hey Alice, how many more days of sunshine," I whined.

"Emmett, if I told you once, I've told you a hundred times, it will be another week. You're just going to have to suck it up and deal. Do you think anybody would notice if I dragged you out and turned you into a jigsaw puzzle? Hunh...food for thought," like she could beat me!

Maybe I'll prank Bella today; at least she retaliates against me and rather enjoys doing it. Although, she is probably down at the cottage sucking face with my stick in the mud brother, so I will just have to find another target. Just as I was deciding on who and what prank I might play today, in walked Jake carrying Nessie. Well maybe my day was starting to look up.

"Hey Jake, how's it going man? Come here munchkin and give your favorite uncle a hug," Nessie ran over jumping into my arms and squealed.

"Doing good Em."

"I wish I could say the same, I'm stuck here with a bunch of humorless vampires that just don't appreciate me. So, what are you guys up to today?"

"We're going to the beach Uncle Emmett, do you want to come with us," then she placed her hand on my face showing Jake, me and her building sandcastles and playing in the water.

"I wasn't invited and besides I'd sparkle in the sun, so don't think I can come," I pouted and hung my head in sadness.

"Yes you can because everyone there knows you sparkle and I'm inviting you."

"Umm Nessie, we're going to La Push and Emmett's not allowed to come there," Jake said.

"Jake, I totally understand, no worries man," I said as I flopped myself back onto the couch with a moan.

"But…I want him to, you're in charge so…if you say it is okay, then he can," her little lip started quivering and tears fell. I have to say she looks so like her mother right now and has Jake wrapped around her tiny finger, just like Bella does with Edward.

"Okay Ness, Emmett do you want to come with us to the beach? I can't believe I'm doing this, but how can I refuse her."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS? I TOTALLY WANT TO GO. LA PUSH BABY! Give me a minute so I can get me swim trunks and stuff. We can take my jeep; you can even drive it if you want."

"Did you actually say I could drive your pride and joy, wow; you must want to go. I wonder…," he chuckled as I sprinted up the stairs.

"Totally dude," I bellowed back as I reached my room.

Jacob's POV

"Jacob that was very nice of you, but are you sure this isn't going to cause problems with the elder's? I mean trust me, and I speak for everyone here when I say we want Emmett to go, but I could speak with him or talk to Ness about why he can't," Carlisle said.

"No Carlisle, it's okay. Nessie wants him to come and you know I can't refuse her, besides I'm the Alpha and that's all there is to it."

"Well, all I can say is that we ALL very much appreciate you doing this, so THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU," if I didn't know any better I'd swear Carlisle wanted to hug me and just then everyone else ran in and did hug me, even Rosalie and she's married to the guy.

"Sure Sure, no worries. Ummm…I was just wondering that since Alice said it's going to be sunny for another week that maybe the whole family would like to come to the beach tomorrow and the bonfire at night?" Yep…the elder's are going to kill me, but I don't care, the Cullen's are good people and have helped us out, so why shouldn't we help them now.

Jeez, I know he is a nuisance and all, but for everyone to want him to leave, I guess they have been locked in the house together for way too long. We've had sun every day for over a week and I know being in the house with him for even a few hours can be bad, so he's probably standing on everyone's last nerve ending by now.

"Oh Jacob, you don't know what this means to us, he's just about driven us insane. I'm going to pack you guys some food," Esme said hugging me and then running off to the kitchen. She was back in a flash with a giant picnic basket. Like I would turn down food and it will certainly placate the pack when we arrive that is for sure.

"Thanks Esme, you know that you didn't have to do it, but I know everyone will be thrilled with it. Has it really been that bad here?"

"You have no idea, between the inappropriate jokes, pranks and fights that have broken out and destroyed some of my furniture; I am at my wits end. We have been in the house for over a week now and it is going to be at least another week of sunshine so I am not sure how much more I can take, especially considering he has brought Bella over to the dark side. Unfortunately, Emmett doesn't handle it well or maybe it's just that we don't appreciate his brand of entertainment," Esme said.

I always knew Bella had an evil fun side from when we were kids, so I am not surprised she is going back at Emmett. I didn't have the heart to tell Esme that Emmett did not bring her over to the dark side because she was already there and it would just cause her to worry that she might have two Emmett's on her hands.

"Sorry, I had no idea it was that bad. I'm glad that he's going then because he'll be able to work off some steam with us."

Carlisle's POV

I could not believe we were going to get rid of Emmett for the entire day. To say that I was shocked that Jacob had invited him to La Push's beach would be an understatement, but then again his imprintee wanted it so he was bound to find a way to make it happen. At least Esme will not lose any more furniture today and we will all have some peace and quiet for a change, but I had to ask if it was really okay.

"Jacob that was very nice of you, but are you sure this isn't going to cause problems with the elder's? I mean trust me, and I speak for everyone here when I say we want Emmett to go, but I could speak with him or talk to Ness about why he can't," please God, let him be able to go I prayed and maybe Esme will let me go to work today. After about 4 days of having Emmett in the house 24/7, she insisted that I take some of the massive amount of my accumulated vacation from the hospital to help control him.

"No Carlisle, it's okay. Nessie wants him to come and you know I can't refuse her, besides I'm the Alpha and that's all there is to it."

"Well, all I can say is that we ALL very much appreciate you doing this, so THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU," I really couldn't thank him enough and had to refrain myself from jumping up and hugging him.

"Sure Sure, no worries. Ummm…I was just wondering that since Alice said it's going to be sunny for another week that maybe the whole family would like to come to the beach tomorrow and the bonfire at night?"

After he spoke with Esme for a few minutes, she fluttered off to pack their lunch. She hasn't been this happy in days, I like it! Still I had to make sure it was going to be alright.

"Jacob are you sure? It is one thing to have Emmett for the day, but quite another for all us to come onto your land. Maybe you should check with Billy if we're all coming for the day."

"No Carlisle, you guys have helped us out many times and now that you need some help, well what are friends for after all. Besides, I know you think I didn't know that it is you who is sending the mysterious packages of medical supplies and equipment that seem to show up every week or so at our clinic," I smiled sheepishly as I was busted, but it wouldn't stop me from doing it again.

"Well then, on behalf of my family, we accept your kind invitation. However, I insist that since you will be supplying the venue, that we provide the food."

"Deal! But you do realize that you have just volunteered to feed a small army, right?" he chuckled.

"Jacob, we have seen you guys eat, it's not a problem. Now, go and have a good day, we'll see you later," so off went the three of them. Just then, Alice let out a gut wrenching scream.

Alice's POV

After I heard we were invited to the beach tomorrow, I screamed out in horror at the thought that I had barely a day to shop for all our beach attire.

"Alice, what is it? Is Emmett going to start a war today? Is there going to be a problem if we go tomorrow? You're freaking us out," Rosalie said.

"No, I just realized that I only had a day to shop for all our beach attire and plan everything. First, let's get Edward and Bella up here. Second, let's make a list of food we will need. Finally, check our beach toy situation in the garage."

I quickly dialed Bella. "Bella, I don't care what you two are doing, but you and Edward need to get up to the main house now and make sure you're shielding Edward from our thoughts when you get here."

"Alice you're scaring me, what's wrong. Is Ness okay?"

"Ness is fine; they just left for the beach. We just have a surprise for you guys. Well, it's not just for you two, but all of us and I want him to be surprised."

"Okay, we're on our way."

Edward's POV

I was really looking forward to Bella and I having a nice relaxing day in our cottage alone for a change today. We were snuggling on the couch enjoying the peace and quiet when Bella's phone rang.

"Don't answer it love," I pleaded and rubbed lazy circles on her back.

"I have to, what if it's about Ness," I sighed knowing she was right, but when she groaned, "Alice," I knew our day was over.

"Alice you're scaring me, what's wrong. Is Ness okay?" I was instantly on alert and then she waved at me indicating everything was okay and hung up.

"Okay, what does the crazy pixie want?"

"We've been summoned to the main house immediately, apparently they have a surprise for us," I groaned, but figured no use fighting Alice, so I placed a loving kiss on her lips and off we went. As we arrived at the house, I noticed Bella was shielding me from everyone's thoughts, oh…that cannot be good.

"Alright Alice, we're here. What is so important that you dragged us here?" she was almost vibrating with excitement.

"Well, we've all been invited to the beach at La Push and bonfire there tomorrow night. LA PUSH BABY!" WHAT?

"LA PUSH BABY!" Bella screamed and began to dance around.

"Are you crazy? We cannot go there! Carlisle?"

"Yes…we can, Jacob has invited us and as the Alpha, he has the right. I already accepted the invitation and told him we would bring the food, besides Emmett is already spending today there. So…if he doesn't start a war, why not?" I am sure I must have looked like a fish with my mouth hanging open when Carlisle said that.

"What you don't want to take the opportunity to spend a day at the beach with your family? Your daughter? Your wife in a new bikini that I'll be buying her today?" Okay...I could not argue with that logic and thinking of my Bella in a bikini had me smiling like a fool.

"LA PUSH BABY," Jazz, Alice and Bella screamed one after another.

"Okay, I'll go if you stop screaming that," I laughed and kissed my wife thinking how I had wished I could have gone to the beach that day when she'd invited me two years ago, but now I was and I couldn't be more thrilled. The planning that ensued was nothing short of a crazy whirlwind.

"Hey Wolf Girl, this is Vampire Girl. I'm sure Jake has told you about inviting us tomorrow. So, since we cannot go to the store, we are going to order the food and have it delivered to you. Okay? Great, see you tomorrow," did she just insult Sam's wife?

"Wolf Girl? Vampire Girl? Do I even want to know?"

"Probably not, but just some nicknames we have for one another when I went to her house and met all the guys one time," okay…I really did not want to know she was in a room with volatile wolves. Yup, still overprotective.

"Edward, give me the keys to the Volvo, I have to go to the mall for tomorrow's wardrobe and my car won't hold everything."

"No way, take the jeep."

"Jake's driving that today," whoa - I must be in an alternate universe if Emmett is letting someone drive his prized possession.

"NO," just then my wife thought at me, 'Edward give her the keys before she drags me with her, because if I have to go, you will be coming too and you'll be sleeping on the couch for the next week.'

"I don't sleep love," I smirked. 'Be that as it may, but let me be more clear, your lips will NOT be on these lips and there will be NO alone time.' WHAT? OH - MY - GOD!

"Alice, here are the keys, be careful, have a good time."

"Thanks and while I'm gone, you guys get out the beach toys from the garage and call me with the inventory," and she was gone. Bella, Esme and Rose were giggling as they ran into the garage to do the inventory.

"So you were threatened with the couch little brother?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"I felt the momentary spike of fear and then you should have seen the look on your face when you pitched the keys at Alice. We've all been there, mostly Emmett, but suffice it to say the couch is no fun, good choice," and the three of us just laughed as we made our way to the garage to help the ladies.

"I know this is probably a stupid question, but we have beach toys when we don't go to the beach?"

"Alice," Jazz and Carlisle said in unison and we all laughed again.

Note: I know they all fell instantly in love, but it is from Emmett's skewed view...and you know how that goes.

A/N This is my first stab at writing on my own, so please let me know if you like it and should continue the story.