First Date

Disclaimer: I do not own the Gorillaz. I do however own the faint-hearted Kevin.


Summary: When Noodle brings a guy home to Kong Studios before a date, the men of the Gorillaz have to face the fact that their little Noodle is growing up. But not before having a little fun with him…

"I tell you this ONE LAST TIME MUDS." Noodle screeched in broken English at the green-skinned man currently backed up against the wall. "YOU GO SHOWER NOW AND BRUSH TEETH!" She brandished the bar of soap and bottle of shampoo in one hand and toothbrush and toothpaste in the other. Normally, Noodle had perfect English, but lately when she'd been getting upset, she'd fallen back into her eleven year old vocabulary. Now she was seventeen, a blooming entrepreneur and developing more as a musician with every passing day.

"Christ…" Murdoc mumbled as he took the hygiene items from the angry young woman in front of him and shuffled to the bathroom of his Winnebago. He grunted as he cleared the tub of various items, namely rum bottles.

"I DON'T HEAR WATER GOING!" Noodle pounded on the side of the camper.

"SOD OFF AND GIMME ME A MINUTE, WILL YOU?" He yelled back. She had been like this all day. Something about having someone over. Hell. He wasn't paying attention. She'd been actually cleaning the studio and paused only to yell various expletives and demands in mixed Japanese and English. ("GET LADYFRIEND'S THONG OFF SOUNDBOARD! SEIKETSU-DO SORE MADE BAKA!"). Denthead had stopped muttering to himself long enough to watch, only to be pulled in and made to vacuum. It was odd. The only rooms she was cleaning was the recording area and the front room of the building. Now, she was demanding he shower, clean up and wear a shirt, pants and deodorant. How dare she? That little brat. He should send her back to Japan where she speak Japanese all the hell she wanted. It was his kingdom as far as he was concerned and he was perfectly allowed to wander about in his knickers if he so wished. Maybe she was just PMS-ing. Bloody women and their sodding hormones from Hell.

Russel on the other hand was taking it rather well. He had actually been paying attention and was sharpening his taxidermy knives. He was of course saving a few for when the boy actually got there, but it was good to get a head start. For as long as he could remember, he had waited for this day. The day his daughter or niece or equivalent brought home their first boyfriend. He believed that he couldn't scare them off, they were worthy. Although he had to admit, with a bit of a chuckle, between him and Muds, the chances of Noodle being able to keep a boyfriend without them scaring him off were probably going to be next to none.

He also believed that the other two band mates were not taking this situation serious enough. One did not just whisk off their little Noodle without permission! Of course she had been his and Del's little Noodle ever since she arrived via Fedex and uttered "Noodle." after giving a kickass first impression.

He had taught her limited English until her encounter in Japan had sparked all her memories. He kept Murdoc from teaching her swearwords because it was funny. He had steered her away from the Winnebago when she asked him why it was rocking and why Muds was shrieking like a little girl with his lady friends after gigs. He'd kept her from getting into Murdoc's whiskey and rum. Hell, he'd just kept her away from Murdoc period until she was thirteen. Now, she was seventeen, speaking English and bringing around her first date. He suspected there had been more guys before this, but she was actually bringing this one home.

Looking back, he remembered the words his first girlfriend's father had spoken to him as he cocked a 9mm and pointed it at him. "I have a bag of concrete and access to the Hudson River. Touch Keira and find out why."

Stu-Pot was having a bit of trouble processing the bit of information in his head. Boyfriend. Date. Coming over before. Giving studio tour after. Don't embarrass me. Various Japanese phrases. He watched this Japanese girl cleaning furiously attempting to rid the couch of mysterious stains while muttering in her native language before she nearly strangled him with the vacuum cord and demanded he help. Now she had taken over the bathroom and was not allowing anyone in. Normally 2D wouldn't have minded, except now he really had to pee and the other bathrooms were out of order. Now he had no choice but to linger aimlessly outside of the bathroom while she showered. She'd been like this for a few years now. He was currently in the process of convincing Murdoc she needed her own bathroom for when situations like the current occurred.

Noodle had evacuated the bathroom when the doorbell rang. Russel got up and answered it. The boy didn't look hardly old enough to be 20. His eyes narrowed as the towheaded, spotty boy in front of him stood gulping and nervously asked if Noodle was there as he held a small bouquet of roses in one hand and bottle of rum in the other. He grunted and let him in as 2D walked in with an unlit cigarette in one hand and lighter in the other.

"D!" Russell called to the absently wandering vocalist. "Go tell Noodle her date's here."

"T-this is for you." The boy held out the rum shakily.

"Oh I won't drink that. Wait til Muds gets up here." Russel had to give Noodle credit for that. He expected she'd figured placating Murdoc with booze was easier than dealing with him sober.

"WHY IS THERE A BLOODY CAR PARKED OUTSIDE?" Murdoc yelled before the lift doors opened. "Who's this then?" He eyed Noodle's date suspiciously.

"I'm Kevin sir. I'm taking out your um…er…" He searched for the correct term before giving up. "I'm taking out Noodle." Russel nodded towards the rum and then jerked his head towards Murdoc. "Oh. Um, This is for you." Kevin brandished the bottle of rum. Murdoc stared at it, then Kevin, then the rum and then Kevin again before snatching the rum away.

"I like you. Don't make me kill you." Murdoc stated as he wandered over to the couch and threw himself down while opening the rum and taking a swing. "Because Noodle is our little Japanese guitar playing pumpkin-lovey. Remember these words if you even THINK about touching her in an inappropriate way Kevin: I got no problem going back to prison." Kevin's face drained as Murdoc cackled and he jumped as Russel began to grind his blades against the sharpening block.

The elevator binged and Noodle skipped out in a dress and heels. 2D followed looking absolutely bewildered. Noodle looked at Kevin, who looked about ready to piss himself, then Murdoc still laughing, to Russel sharpening his knives to 2D surveying the scene from the corner before turning on Murdoc. "WHAT YOU SAY TO HIM MUDS? HUH?" Murdoc raised an eyebrow.

"Broken English, Noodle-love? Thought you'd right grown out of that."

Noodle opened her mouth, ready to snarl at the bassist when Kevin recovered enough to intervene.

"Ah, um these are for you." He quickly held up the roses and Noodle's anger was temporarily diverted.

"Oh, thank you! Well, you've met everyone then. Let's go, or else we'll be late for the film. BYE!" She turned and gave Murdoc a 'I will kill you later' glare as she dragged Kevin out of the studio.

As the door slammed, 2D looked at the guys. "Well, she's right grown up hasn't she? When did that happen?" He asked with a hint of sadness in his voice as he lit up the cigarette. He was met by silence.