A.N: this little fic came from listening to the song "Just a dream" by Carrie Underwood one to many times and getting the idea. This is the first full piece I've every written that hasn't Rossi and JJ as a pairing so I hope you like. It's set of course in the future about two years from "Our darkest hour". And now on with the show.
Disclaimer: I own nothing cause if I did AJ Cook wouldn't be going anyway for a long time unless she wanted to.
Warning: you may need a tissue while reading this one.
Just a Dream
JJ sat in her bedroom before her vanity just staring off into space. Nothing not the dark gold colored walls, the big king sized bed, the dark mahogany dresses none of it grabbed her attention. Her thoughts were clouded by the pain in her heart the sorrow in her soul and the depth of her anguish she held within. Nothing would bring him back or heal the hurt in her heart. So there she sat in her white wedding dress on what should've been the happiest day of her life, had turned into the worst.
"Oh honey," Penelope stated tears clogging her own normally cheery voice.
"Don't Pen," came JJ's response holding up one hand for silence, "not now. I know this isn't appropriate and it's not what I'm wearing but damn it today…" her voice broke tears falling from her pale blues eyes as she stared at her reflection in the thick mirrored glass.
No words were needed as Penelope stepped forward resting a comforting hand on her shoulder giving the lithe framed woman a gentle squeeze. Trying to clear the tears in her voice to speak Penelope used her other hand to wipe the moisture away. "He wouldn't want this Jayje."
"Don't you think I don't know that? For the love of God Penelope he was going to be my husband and now what? I have nothing."
"You have Henry and us," Penelope returned sorrow and grief consuming her.
"I know," JJ said softly, "but I want him to."
"JJ, Penelope," Emily called out coming to a stop just before entering. She took in the scene before her the profiler in her working the settling taking in the fact that JJ sat in her off the shoulder empire waist wedding dress, blonde hair disheveled, makeup black streaks down her pale face. But the friend in her, the woman almost crumpled right along with JJ. Of course now wasn't the time for such theatrics or desperate show of emotions. People namely JJ was counting on her to remain strong. "Shall we get ready?"
JJ just shook her head not wanting to bother, to move or to disturb the quite peace she had created. An illusion that if she just sat there ready for their big day that it would come true that he wouldn't be gone, cold and lifeless.
"Come on JJ what would he have said if he'd seen you sitting here like this?" Penelope asked walking around to perch her right hip on the end of the wood vanity.
"He'd tell me to get up we had things to do, places to see and scumbags to bust. I shouldn't be sitting here thinking of just myself. That I was too beautiful in his eyes to cry," she answered then looked up into Penelope's dark honey eyes. "But how can I not PG he was…"
Emily came up behind her resting both her hands on JJ's shoulders, "We know Jen, but he'd also want you to move on to be happy. Not to forget about him but to live for yourself and for Henry."
"I know and I know I have to," JJ answered taking one of Emily's hands that rested on her shoulder and one of Penelope's giving them both a gentle squeeze. "Thank you both. Now I guess it's really time to get ready."
Both women nodded and waited, watching JJ slowly stand walk a few paces towards the bed, then unzip the beautiful dress stepping out of the white silk before picking it up and fingering the embroidery of tiny crystals into the top edge of the garment then laid it out on their bed smoothing a hand along the fine fabric one last time before donning her black pencil skirt and matching silk blouse. She let Penelope and Emily lead her back towards her vanity were the women fixed her hair and makeup leaving nothing untouched.
Slowly the women made their way downstairs a somber atmosphere greeted them like an oppressive heat in a southern town. All three men dressed in black suits, each with different colored ties, for Hotch it was dark blue, Reid dark green and Morgan dark red. A single tear slipped from JJ's eye down her pale cool cheek they'd remembered the colors for today.
"Shall we?" Hotch asked extending his hand towards JJ's offering his warmth and shoulder for support.
She nodded gratefully taking one last long look around their home before accepting Hotch's hand and walking forward towards an end she never thought would happen so soon. Reid encircled Emily's thin waist giving her his comfort as they both started for the door following at a slow pace.
"Derek?" Penelope began tentatively watching four of her best friends walk away.
"Yes baby girl."
"Will it ever be the same again?"
Derek shook his head, "I don't know Penelope it's something I can't answer."
She nodded in understanding. They'd all thought David Rossi was invincible. He'd looked down the barrel of a gun more times than anyone care to count both with the Military and the FBI. Questioned serial killers, faced his worst fears and three ex-wives. All to have it end with a simple car accident four days before he was going to marry the last woman he'd ever love.
The driver had barely been twenty one, driving to fast down a two line road drunk out of his mind not watching where he turned the wheel until it was to late sending David's SUV off the road flipping three times like some unknown hand turning a pancake on a griddle. He'd seen nothing but the headlights coming at him and knew he'd never make it home to her one last time.
Packed, the only word that could serve for how full the large ornate Washington DC Catholic church was. You could've made alphabet soup with as many different branches were represented. However six loan figures stood in front of the first pew as the service began. A dark ebony casket sat on a short dais a framed picture on top closed casket for his body, to broken and distorted from the crash, couldn't be seen. Cries could be heard through out the solemn pews, the sun light filtering in through the stained glass raining down a rainbow of colors on the assembly present.
JJ kept her eyes firmly planted on the picture, taken a few months back on her insistence, saying that she didn't have a recent photo of him. He'd argued with her that she saw him every day why did she need a stupid picture to look at. But in the end she'd won out. She'd bought him a new suit charcoal grey with a dark blood red silk dress shirt and matching pinstriped tie. In her mind she could still remember what had happened that night once they returned home and how he'd put that very tie to use. And now staring holes into that very same image she wished he was now, beside her that they'd be up in front of the priest saying I do, with her something new, something old, something barrowed and blue. But instead she sat hands laying numb within her lap, Hotch on one side Penelope on the other. She felt like crying but the hot tears refused to fall, declined to make an appearance now that she was sitting in front of his casket listening to the mournful words of someone who barely knew her love, her almost husband.
As one the assembly stood the beginning of the saddest song started to play and her world started to spin. This was real he wasn't coming home, he wouldn't be walking into their house that cheeky smile lightly his darkly handsome features. She would live alone except for Henry who was staying with Jessica, Jack's aunt, for the afternoon.
With slightly teary eyes she watched as Hotch, Morgan, Reid, Anderson, Director Hartford and Jason Gideon carry the funerary box down the long aisle, Penelope and Emily holding JJ up between them keeping her moving.
A cool fall wind blew whipping skirts, hair and jackets around. JJ huddled close to the two women beside her taking in their warmth and calming presence not really listening once again to anything being said until the gun shots rang out like a bullet to her heart making her lithe body jump at the jarring sound finalizing what her heart wouldn't accept.
She watched with dull eyes as they folded up the flag neatly, ceremonially before the lead solder handed the flag to Director Hartford, saluted sharply and briskly walked away. The Director slowly, each step measured precisely, walked over to JJ holding out the folded up flag towards her.
"Agent Jareau I present you with his flag and my deepest condolences on your loss," he stretched out his hands waiting for her to take the carefully wrapped cotton flag. "Ma'am," he prompted when JJ made no move to receive the honor.
Eyes glued to the red, white and blue bundled she slowly reached out shaking hands to receive the last mark of distinction David Matthew Rossi would ever obtain. Once infolded in her arms she wrapped those same thin cool limps around herself and the flag trying to feel something of a connection to the man she loved with all her heart.
The grave side service slowly drew to a close after the presenting of the flag and she drew her coat up closer around her, the flag still carefully enclosed in between her thin outer garment and body. She watched as one by one the large group of mourners placed a single white rose atop the dark rectangular casket much like she had once did not even two years ago at Haley Hotchner's funeral.
"Come JJ," Emily gently prodded inching her forwards.
She held no rose in her hands, yet she couldn't stop herself from reaching out and placing her palm against the cool polished wooden surface caressing the edge before pulling herself away and walking away and not turning back one single time until reaching the long black stretched limo. Only then did she turn a slow wave of her small cool hand and slipped back inside the warm cabin leaving him behind forever.
Of course they'd be the last to leave making sure she had everything. That she was and would be ok. Had them fooled or so she thought. One last check on Henry before calling it a night and slide between the cotton sheets, turning on her right side to stare at the french doors that opened outward to the back yard. Tears sprung to her eyes as she clung to his pillow. His scent still lightly clung to the soft cotton fabric, but it gave her little comfort for the pain she felt. Sleep only claiming her in the wee hours of the morning when she was drained of tears her heart bleeding on the inside for a man she would never see again.
Morning came, sunlight breaking through the curtained windows shining onto her face. She felt something warm pressed against her backside. Felt the slow rise and fall of a strong hard chest still asleep behind her. Fear gripped her body, she knew every door had been locked every window but then who?
The familiar masculine scent filled her nose making her heart almost stop beating. How? Swiftly as if the devil himself was running on her coat tails JJ flipped over in bed coming face to face with a sleeping David Rossi.
"But how?" she whispered to herself reaching one cool hand out to touch the side of his face feeling the warm flesh behind her fingertips.
"Humm Bella it's to early," he rumbled voice still groggy from sleep.
That voice the deep resonating timber washed over her and she all but flung herself into his chest forcing him backward and almost sending them both onto the floor, hot tears pouring from her eyes soaking his t-shirt.
"Woo JJ," he exclaimed wrapping one arm tightly around her waist while reaching out with the other to stop them from sliding off. "What's the matter?"
"You were dead," she mumbled into his chest feeling the beat of his heart while she pressed herself as close as humanly possible.
"Jennifer say again," he argued placing his large warm hands on her shoulders pulling her back slightly.
Tear filled blue eyes met confused dark brown, "You were," she choked on the last word then finally managing to say, "dead."
He reached up wiping hot tears from her pale face, "Thankfully my love I am fully alive and come tomorrow all yours." This time it was her turn to be confused. He grinned running those same fingertips over her pinched brow smoothing the worry lines before carding them through her blonde locks. "Married my one true love as in husband and wife."
"But you… this can't be real," she blurted out.
The arm wrapped around her waist lowered a fraction and his strong fingers pinched her butt lightly making her yelp. "You feel that?"
"Why'd you do that?" she countered.
He chuckled, "To prove it wasn't a dream."
"Then what I thought was real…"
"Was just the dream…"