I do not own the game, it belongs to Bioware
May contain slight OOC and some crazy plots
Yuven Surana is a mage from the Tower of Magi, is the youngest of the group and is also the leader of this band of misfits. See what mischief they get too on their free time when not dealing with dark spawn all the time…contains multiple pairings
My Way or The Highway!
Chapter 1 There's no Such thing as Privacy
Being leader of a group that's meant to end the Blight is a tricky business
This Yuven knew better than anyone
He slept in his tent, wanting to get an early start tomorrow. They were heading towards Redcliffe.
Everyone else around him agreed that it would be for the best.
"Pst" Yuven slowly opened his dreary eyes as he pushed himself up, his eyes monotonous and unable to see anything.
Must be my imagination he wondered as he plopped back down onto his little makeshift bed and let sleep take him.
"Pst, Yuven wake up" Yuven jumped up again to see Alistair's head peeked through the tent door, Yuven rubbed his eyes.
"What are you doing Alistair, Morrigan's tent is the one on the other side of camp" Yuven mumbled, Alistair slapped his hand onto his leader's mouth as he pulled the mage close to him
"Shh, they'll hear you!" Alistair snapped in a shaky whisper. The situation was getting really awkward when Alistair took his hand off Yuven's lips. Yuven narrowed his gaze at the Templar as he pulled his quilt up to his chin
"Alistair" he began, "I like you and all but I don't swing that way"
Alistair gasped as he looked at the elf in shear horror "What? No! Nothing like that! Why would you even think that. I'm not Zevran for Maker's sake!"
Yuven sighed in relief "Good" he replied "Why are you whispering? Whose they?"
Alistair scooted closer to his leader "It's about Redcliffe" Yuven narrowed his emerald gaze
"Yeah? What about it?" Yuven asked
"I think there's something you should know about me before we get to Redcliffe" he said, Yuven noticed that the way Alistair put it was sounding really nervous.
Yuven tilted his head to one side "You won a medal in a pillow fight competition?"
"What? No!" Yuven closed his eyes as he thought really hard
"You have a fetish for women in leather underwear?"
"No!" Alistair shouted in a whisper
"Oh, you don't have a crush for Morrigan do you? So you go for that kind of girl?" Yuven teased until Alistair hit his leader on the head with a tightened fist.
"I'd rather eat glass" Alistair groaned until he shock his head, "Wait? No that's not what I'm talking to you about!"
"Really? Then tell me already stop stalling!"
"Okay" Alistair began, taking in a deep breath "Before going into Redcliffe, there's something I need to tell you"
Yuven sat there, eagerly waiting for Alistair to tell him about this seemingly important matter
"What I'm going to tell you has to stay between us" Yuven's eyes widened to unbelievable proportions as the red head gulped, the atmosphere was becoming really tense. "For it may shock you"
"Alistair just tell me, no dramatics" Yuven whispered flatly
Alistair nodded "Okay, do you really want to know?"
Yuven nodded "Yes"
"Are you sure?" Alistair asked
Yuven nodded again "Yes"
How long is he going to stall for? Yuven thought as he gritted his teeth "Yes"
Alistair stared at Yuven seriously until he asked once more "Are you sure you want to know?"
Yuven frowned, grabbing Alistair by the collar of his armour and tugged him close, he was angry and annoyed, but also tired, obviously "Tell me Alistair or I am going to tell Morrigan that you were the one who was peeking on her every time she took a shower!"
"What? That wasn't me, that was you and Zevran!" Alistair defended
Yuven smirked "Who do you think she'll believe?"
Alistair frowned as he shock Yuven's touch off him "Fine…" the two stared off for a couple of minutes which stretched into hours until Yuven frowned
"Alright I'll tell you! You demon" Alistair grumbled as he took in a deep breath, placing his hand around Yuven's ear as he whispered into it
Meanwhile outside of the tent, Zevran, Morrigan, the dog Han Solo, Leliana and Sten all exchanged gazes, they were all in shock except for Sten who was able to maintain the same bored expression on his face like he was made of stone.
"Well" Zevran spoke as he looked to his fellow comrades with a smirk on his lips "That is interesting no?"
"I really had no idea" Morrigan, a smile lacing her own lips. She also found the information that the Templar had interesting "But this is juicy indeed"
With what they heard they all rushed off back to their tents before they were caught eavesdropping. When it came to morning everyone's eyes were directed to Alistair, except for Yuven since he was still in shock.
They all sat down and had breakfast before Morrigan began conversation "So…" she began looking over to Alistair "What were you doing at Yuven's tent last night Alistair?"
Alistair began to choke on his breakfast before awkwardly swallowing his food, his face was purple as he looked at Morrigan and replied weakly "Nothing! Nothing…"
"Oh? Why are you so nervous for Alistair? We are only interested in what you and the gorgeous Yuven were talking about last night?" Zevran asked, edging his almond eyes over to Yuven, it looked like the assassin was looking at Yuven alluringly with his gaze which sent shivers up the young elf's spine, and not in a good way.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Zevran leaned towards his leader with a smile
"I'm just fascinated with the way you eat your food my dear Grey Warden" Zevran took a fork out of his plate as he placed the tip that had meat on it directly in front of Yuven's mouth "Open wide" he chuckled
"But what were you two talking about anyway?" Leliana asked, clearing interested in what they were talking about "It seemed really important"
"Indeed" Sten included followed by the barking of Han Solo
"Come on Alistair" Morrigan said, her gaze leering at Alistair, like her eyes were taking his soul…
"Come on Grey Warden" Zevran, who was obviously interested in other things at the moment, pressed the fork with the piece of meat at Yuven's lips "Say 'Ah'!"
Yuven frowned, not liking Zevran's advances "You'd like that wouldn't you, you pervert?"
To which Zevran just grinned at him like a cat and replied "Maaaaaaaaybe?"
"I don't know what you're talking about!" Alistair snapped, stabbing his fork into his plate "I have no clue what you're implying!"
Knowing that Alistair was intimidated with her stare, Morrigan continued to leer at him with her bright honey eyes "Oh really? Then why are you yelling at me Alistair? I am only curious?"
"I'm not yelling" Alistair replied "This is yelling!"
Han Solo barked to which Sten followed with saying "Indeed" not even knowing what the dog was trying to say.
"Zevran I'm serious" Yuven warned, obviously getting irritated by the assassin's inappropriate behaviour "Get that fork away from me before I stab you"
Zevran was still not backing up "Oh I love it when you get angry"
"You seem to be behaving oddly Alistair" Morrigan said teasingly "Do you have something to get off your chest?"
"Morrigan it has nothing to do with you!"
"Zevran this is the last warning, get the fucking fork out of my face" Yuven snapped
"Oooooh feisty, I like that in my women, well in this case men"
"Look Zevran cut it out or I'm telling Leliana the wet dreams you have of her at night!" Yuven yelled, jumping to his feet and pointing an accusing finger at Zevran who only stared at his leader with reddened cheeks.
Silence fell amongst everyone as shock was evident on everyone's face, except Yuven who smirked when Zevran rose to his feet glaring at the mage.
"Oh, is that how we're going to play my friend?" This time Zevran was the accuser as he pointed an accusing finger at Yuven "Well I'm telling Morrigan that you were the one who broke her favourite Mirror!"
Yuven was the one who paled, looking over to Morrigan who glared at him.
"That was you! How could you Yuven! I blamed the dog!" as if on cue, Han Solo barked which one again was followed by Sten who just said 'Indeed'
"Oh don't play innocent with us Morrigan" Alistair interrupted "We all know that you were the one who replaced Yuven's drink with a potion that turned him into a girl for a month!"
"I only did that because Yuven did the same to me!" Morrigan retaliated
"But that wasn't even meant for you! That was for Alistair!" Yuven yelled
Alistair narrowed his gaze at the red haired elf who gulped; he was in for it now.
"And you Alistair, don't act all high and mighty" Morrigan snapped "I know you were the one who spilt wine on Leliana's chantry robe!"
Leliana was in shock as she looked at Alistair "Is that true?"
"Y-Yes but I was going to tell you-"
"How could you Alistair!" Leliana screamed "I blamed Han Solo, poor thing!"
Han Solo barked to which Sten said "Indeed" once more
"Oh now the Chantry priest is acting innocent, but you are no saint!" Zevran chirped "I know that you were spying on Yuven, Morrigan and Alistair when they were bathing"
Alistair and Yuven both turned bright red as they both gasped while Morrigan was lost for words
Leliana shouted loudly "I only did it because you did!"
Zevran made a small blush as if he only remembered "Oh that's right"
"But now that we're on the subject I know that you snuck into Yuven's tent and tried on his robes!" Leliana accused
Yuven flinched as if horrified
"No wonder their too big on me!" Yuven cried
"Oh please, I only did it because I saw Alistair putting on Morrigan's attire"
Silence once more fell upon everyone as Morrigan glared at Alistair "Is that true?"
Alistair shamefully turned his head away as a dark blush caressed his cheeks "When I have a bit much to drink, I get ideas" Alistair explained meekly looking down at his splintmail boots.
Morrigan was wondering why her jacket seemed a couple of sizes too big
"Ideas?" Yuven asked as he turned his head away "That's a scary thought"
"Hey you have no right to judge me!" Alistair glared, pointing at Yuven with a shaky finger "I saw what you did to the Man in the last village, when a man from a charity came to get donations off you; you just set the dog on him!"
Yuven was over to Han Solo who was wagging his tail as his master petted him "And he had fun too, didn't you boy?" he cooed to which the dog barked happily which was once again followed by Sten's 'Indeed'
"That's not the point you sadist!"
Not liking being called a sadist, Yuven growled as he snapped, turning round and shouted at the top of his lungs "Oh yeah? Well guess what your Majesty I bet everyone already knows that you're the Bastard's son to King Maric!"
After realising what he just said he looked at Alistair bewildered, so did Alistair who looked on in horror as he looked at everyone.
Shit Yuven thought
More and more awkward silence, there wasn't even a sound; all that could be heard was the birds singing.
There's just no such thing as Privacy anymore… That was Alistair's conclusion
To Be Continued…
Hi all, first chapter to 'My Way Or The Highway', coming up with a comedy fic for characters like Alistair and Morrigan is hard, espeacially if Sten is involved because he doesn't really show much emotion unless he's fighting and doesn't have much responses
But I have to say I haven't come up with many comedy style fics, especially for something that has a serious storyline like Dragon Age, even if it does have some comedy, it's hard coming up with plots that some of the characters might be involved in, so I'm just going to take it as it comes along.
My brother overlooked this for me and he was kind enough to fix some mistakes but when he asked me if Yuven's a girl? I just looked at him and said 'I thought I made it clear that he's a guy?'
Anyway expect much multiple pairings and hopefull some good upcoming material!