The Stress of Marriage

Disclaimer: They no mine. Neither is the iPod.

A one-shot inspired by "Love Drunk" by Boys Like Girls, and a few other songs you will find in here. Plus practice for lemons.


Uchiha Sasuke was pissed; tonight was his bachelor party, even though he had insisted he didn't need one. I mean, for God's sake, he was getting married because he was sick of getting drunk and impregnating random sluts at bars! And what else is there to a bachelor party?

But grumbling would get him nowhere, his three best friends could be scary when they tried.

Staring in the mirror, possibly trying to melt it and blow the world up with his famous glare, he straitened his black tie over his white wife beater and pulled on the black short-sleeved jacket (the one with the silver studs and chain wallet, not his stupid work one), when the doorbell rang.

Ugh, great, they were already here.

Moving to leave his bedroom, the door was slammed open and Suigetsu stormed in, took one look at him, and proclaimed, "Damn! And I thought you said you didn't wanna be fucked tonight!"

After dodging the shoe thrown at his face, a voice filtered in from the other room, "Is it safe to come in, or is he still throwing things?"

Strolling out of his bedroom into his tiny living room/kitchenette, Sasuke gave Shikamaru a "guy-hug"(1). He then looked over to see his last friend, Juugo, in the doorway, arms covered in the random birds that he talks to.

Juugo knew that he didn't like those crap machines in his house, so that was a good choice on his part.

"Where are we going?" Sasuke demanded.

Suigetsu bared his freakishly sharp teeth in a smile and said, "Che, where's the fun if we tell?"

It doesn't take long to narrow down the places they could take him.

"Forget it. I'm not going," he stated blatantly.

Shikamaru drawled lazily, "I told you he would do that..."

"Plan B?" asked Juugo, not really looking past his birds.

Suigetsu nodded, then, suddenly, the brunette's knees gave out and the quickly-approaching floor was blacking out.


"Ugh..." Was that sound coming from my lips? And where the fuck am I?

"Oi! He's coming to!" called Shikamaru.

"About time," snorted Suigetsu, "We should've just poured the ice water on him."

"Do that and I will fucking kill you..." he muttered, rubbing the sore part of his head.

The idiots had freaking kidnapped him just so he couldn't get out of it.

Standing up and glaring at Juugo for knocking him out, Sasuke growled, "Where are we?"

"Where's it look like we are, dipshit?" laughed Suigetsu.

He saw a bar, filled with people, and there were slot machines everywhere.

"A casino? Really?" he scowled, already scanning the room for an exit.

"No, no..." taunted Suigetsu, "Go have some fun! Get drunk! Watch the stripper's special! But for Gods sake, quit being such a prick!"

Shikamaru grabbing his fist before he could knock Suigetsu to Hawaii, they all scattered.


Hn, go have fun, quit being such a prick!

Every time Suigetsu's voice replayed in his head, he would take an angry sip of the clear alcohol -vodka?- little cocktail waitresses brought around. He swore that they showed up every ten minutes or so to personally offer him a drink, but maybe the alcohol was going to his head faster than he thought. After his third, fourth, fifth? drink, he decided, what the hell? When in Vegas, right? Not that he was quite sure where he was...

Standing up, swaying just a little bit, he walked over to the counter and placed some money on it for chips. Wordlessly giving Sasuke chips and sending him off with a, "Good luck, sir," he began his casino experience.

First heading over to the roulette tables, he bet 23 for his birthday and lost nearly half his chips before he decided that maybe he should try something else.

Walking near across the casino, bumping into many people, pissing most of them off, he reached the poker tables. All heads turning to glare at him, knowing the very moment he entered their perimeter.

"What do you want, kid?" sneered a guy wearing a cowboy hat.

Sasuke had to blink at that one; they were in Japan, so why the fuck was someone dressed like a cowboy?

"I think you're in the wrong area, punk," growled a meaty guy, "Leave afore we have to call security on your ass."

He steadied himself enough to glare daggers at the idiot who dared defy him. "I'm here to play," he stated coolly, surprisingly not stuttering.

"Fine," responded cow-man, "Sit and ante up."

Fifteen Minutes Later

"Pleasure playing with you," Sasuke smirked, carrying his large pile of chips. Turns out even drunk his apathetic glare was too hard to see behind. When he wasn't just bluffing –and well at that–, he actually had some pretty good hands.

They all stared, flabbergasted, at his back, wondering how some 'punk' managed to school them all.

Going back to the counter to exchange his chips for cash, he ran into Suigetsu.

"Heeeey, asshole! Feels nice to cut loose a little, huh?" he laughed, "Anyway, we've been looking for you! The show's about to start, so move! If I miss it cause of you, I'm cutting your junk off."

Scowling angrily at the gray-haired man, Sasuke had no choice but to follow. Suigetsu was blabbering about some cocktail waitress, when they finally ran into the others. Thankfully, the inter-com called for the last minute warning for the show, so they were able to skip personal stories.

Rushing into the little theater/cafe area, Juugo pointed to an over-looked table right in the front row of the audience and they all rushed over.

Finally sitting down at one of the little tables with his buddies, the lights dimmed and the inter-com introduced the stripper. She had a cocky smile on her lips, short pink hair, hoops, jade green eyes, and was wearing a red bra with a matching thong.

The vodka already gone to his head, he pulled out some of the dollar bills and offered them to his friends for the stripper. He could already hear the music playing, and it was rather suiting.

She spun around on her pole, sliding up and down it, and exposing tons of boob on each motion. Dollars were flying and she started doing tricks with them; tucking them inside her flimsy 'coverings', interacting with the audience.

Then, just as the song got to the chorus, a man climbed on from the bar to join her. You spin my head right round, right round, when you go down, when you go down, down... He wasn't completely certain that he wasn't drooling.

The guy was fucking beautiful! His laughing blue eyes locking onto the pinkette's, and he began to do tricks with her. Tan against pale, he hoisted her up onto his shoulders as she continued to drape herself for the pleasures of the audience.

Sasuke didn't care; he only had eyes for her lovely assistant. A rush of boldness most likely caused by the drinks made him climb drunkenly up on stage along the gorgeous pair.

Unfazed, the man turned around and the girl draped her head on his shoulder and kissed his cheek before pulling back and coming down to the ground.

When the green eyed girl went back to her pole for more single entertainment, the tan sex god hissed to him, "Alright bastard, we were gonna ask for a volunteer, but seeing as you had to go and haul your drunk ass up here, you'll have to do. Just don't let go."

Anger at the idiot burbled in his throat, but, before he could (drunkenly) voice it, he was hauled over to the girl's pole.

"When I grab on, get on my shoulders and stand up, also holding the pole," hissed the blonde to Sasuke.

Going over, the man hugged the pole and Sasuke, not knowing what else to do, did as he was told. And, to Sasuke's shock, she climbed up them and began doing her moves again, as if they weren't even clinging on to the pole. Move after move until Sasuke almost passed out, the show finally ended to thunderous applause.

The girl climbed down like a nimble monkey and slid down the pole to whistles from the audience. The man pulled the female into a hug that seemed quite...sexy.

His alcohol-clouded thoughts couldn't suppress the jealously that rose up in him. But wait! That was crazy... He hadn't even talked to the idiot! Ripped out of his thoughts by the girl, he took bows with the two among all of the cheering and catcalls (which sounded suspiciously like Suigetsu's).

Then they were gone –backstage, preparing for the next show later on.

It was a pity that they couldn't stay longer.

Hopping off the stage to pats on the back from his drunk buddies, he snagged Shikamaru's rum and coke, downing it in one gulp. Head buzzing even more, the four friends moved over to the dance floor.

Grabbing some random blonde chick, he began to grind against her. Even though she was obviously enjoying herself, he wouldn't have cared either way; he was Sasuke Uchiha! Marriage couldn't restrain him! Sliding his hands further down her ass, enjoying the feeling fully, someone tapped him on the shoulder. Ignoring the jerk who probably wanted to cut in, he began to move his hands under the micro-mini the girl wore.

The tapping got more insistent, and there was a timid, "Sir?"

Wheeling around, Sasuke gave the guy his Uchiha Glare. From how the guy was shaking, it obviously didn't matter how drunk Sasuke was, he could still maim people visually.

"A-Ano..." he started, looking like he wished he could leave, "Our s-star performer asked for me to give this to you." After handing him a pink card that reeked of flowery perfume, the poor waiter turned and fled, probably going to apply for a paid leave to recover from him.

Opening it up, he read it allowed, not really giving a shit if someone else heard. "Great job up there, you're so fucking sexy... It's quite exciting. Care to come around back for a drink? Show this card to the bouncer and he'll let you pass. Oh, and the door is the fourth one on the left." It was signed "Sakura". Damn. He had been hoping that it would've been from that hot little blonde.

No guilt ate at him as he crossed the red carpeted dance floor –it was his bachelor party, damn it! He couldn't really see why he had opposed coming here earlier; he was having way more fun here then he was at home with his fiancée, Karin.

His clouded vision suddenly focused when a big guy got in his way. He had a cue-ball head and wore those annoying dramatic black sunglasses.

"No entry," he rumbled, "Away with ya, a 'fore I have to kick ya out."

Oh great, a redneck.

Sasuke refrained from saying this aloud, and instead showed him the slip. Grinning and showing messed up and yellowed teeth, he said, "Oh, y'all here fer Miz Sakura! Well, go on in. And have fun." He snorted and Sasuke slipped past him, glad he was about to get drunker, cause he so did not want to recall that guy's face in the morning.

Trekking silently down the hallway, he went the appropriate way and entered the fourth door down.

The room was dark, save for candles glowing around the perimeter of the room, shining off the makeup mirrors, reflecting four more Sasukes at the original. He stepped forward and almost fell; in the dark he hadn't noticed the steps leading down to the floor, of which he took now. Landing on the cushy floor, Converse sinking in, he was surprised to discover the whole floor felt like a bed. There was a couch in the middle of the floor, but since the whole room was so spacious, didn't get in the way of the make up mirrors. From what else he could see, there was a curtained door leading to an unknown area, the door he was standing in, a mini-fridge, and two leafy plants in the room's corners.

He could see the figure was laying drooped on the couch, hand over the armrest, clutching a bottle. That was most likely the drink, he thought, so he strolled over and took it from the hand.

"Hey!" protested a voice angrily as Sasuke took a swig. Hmm, that was odd. It didn't exactly sound like a girl's voice, but hey. Turning to face the pretty pinkette, he was startled to discover that it was the attractive blonde sitting there.

"What do ya think you're doing, teme?" growled the blue-eyed assistant.

Sasuke stiffened; as chairman to one of the leading electronics companies in Japan, no one got away with speaking to him like that. Even someone as handsome as this idiot.

"Well, dobe," he stated calmly, "I believe I'm having a drink."

Staggering up, the blonde lunged at Sasuke, half falling on him, but managing to grab the drink. "Not any more!" proclaimed the blonde. Yanking away, and hunkering down behind the coffee table for protection from Sasuke's thirsty hands, he said, smugly, "And it's Naruto."

Successfully averted from his task, Sasuke blinked, not quite sure he heard him right. "Naruto, as in fishcake?" he snickered.

Naruto sputtered, "So? At least I don't have a pole up my ass, teme!"

Pretending to think up a response, Sasuke suddenly lunged across the low coffee table, going through the smoke from the incense burning, and nearly knocking over Naruto's iPod stand. The bottle successfully regained, he sniped, "I'm surprised that you know what 'teme' means, dobe. And it's Sasuke. Sasuke Uchiha."

He added that last part to scare the wanna-be show boy –after all, he was that important, and Naruto's cockiness was starting to piss him off.

"Uchiha?" sneered Naruto, "Don't you mean Uchiwa? Heh, you make fun of my name, and your family didn't even spell yours right!" (2)

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. It. Was. On.

Smirking, figuring it would piss Naruto off, he drained the rest of the bottle, the liquid puffing his cheeks out, as he couldn't swallow all that liquid at once. (3)

Naruto then stood up faster than a drunk person should be able to, and pressed his mouth against Sasuke's.

Shocked so badly that he really didn't react, Sasuke just stood there like a statue, bottle dangling from his hand.

Worming his tongue through Sasuke's leaded lips, Naruto proceeded to suck all of the scotch –and air– from Sasuke. Drawing away from Sasuke, Naruto proclaimed, "Ha! Got it! Take that, Sasuke-teme!"

Gaping like a fish, Sasuke couldn't help but think how hot that was, getting the air sucked out of him. And it didn't help that he just now noticed that it appeared Naruto was naked under the orange bathrobe. Maybe it was the alcohol talking (most likely), but he didn't really care that Naruto was most definitely male. After all, whispered his treacherous mind, he did experiment quite a bit. Not quite gay, possibly bi, he had never officially acknowledged this possibility. Until he met the blonde. Ah, what better way to find out? A smirk stole over his face; oh, he'd be drinking alright. But not exactly alcohol.

Noticing the smirk, Naruto asked suspiciously, "Oi, teme! What're ya smirking at?"

Instead of responding, Sasuke tackled Naruto, laughing as he realized that thanks to the plush floor they wouldn't even need a bed.

"Hey! Sas–" Naruto started, only to be interrupted by Sasuke's lips.

Planting his hands on either side of Naruto's head, he prevented any escape, though Naruto wasn't trying. The blonde dobe wasn't exactly sober himself, so Sasuke had a feeling he was getting what he wanted.

Hmph, like he ever didn't.


Naruto had had a hard day. His fiancée was pissed at him again. Something about what a pig he was to live in these conditions. So he forgot to take out the trash; he didn't really see why missing trash day was such a big deal. And after a long day, he just wanted to stay in his backstage room, get drunk, then pass out and have to be woken up with a hammer. But then this bastard had to ruin his show, and, not only that, tried to ruin his recovery plan!

Not thinking twice, he had stolen the scotch back in the fastest way he knew how, and look where it had gotten him; trapped on the floor, under him, being sexually abused.

The lips on his tasted surprisingly spicy –under all of the alcohol, of course, and he found himself hungrily licking at Sasuke's lips for more of the flavor.

Sasuke, smirking at the muscle lapping at his closed entrance, parted his lips and attacked Naruto's mouth with his tongue. Twining his and Naruto's together, Naruto had to restrain himself from moaning. He just focused on staying still –and NOT making any embarrassing noises. But that plan was shot to shit when Sasuke started humming along to what felt like some Flo Rida song he couldn't put his finger on... Now, Naruto really hated people who took advantage of him, but he couldn't help himself. The bastard just tasted too good.

He pushed his hands up the back of Sasuke's wife beater in an attempt to get them closer. Dragging his nails lightly up the brunette's spine, Sasuke shivered at the ghostly touch and brought his hands into the golden hair.

Free to move, but Naruto didn't release him. Instead, he rolled them over, knocking into the coffee table, and momentarily stunning Sasuke. Wasting no time, the blonde rolled on top and tried to kiss Sasuke.

Seeing this coming, he tilted his head and Naruto ended up kissing his neck, right under the ear. Not missing a beat, Naruto went with it and continued kissing around Sasuke's neck to various moans from said boy. It wasn't just for pleasure anymore, but also for dominance.

Sasuke, desperate to regain control, clenched Naruto's ass and shoved him toward his groin, grinding on Naruto's when he succeeded. Both hissed when contact was made, and that's where the point of no return came.

Sasuke suddenly rolled Naruto over, so he was back on top, and slid down the delectable body slowly. Sliding very slowly down Naruto's body, now it was his turn to ravish the blonde's neck. Snatching the spot right over the vein, he bit down and began to suck, licking just when the pain would've become too much.

"A-Ahh...bastard..." gasped Naruto from the harsh treatment.

Leaving a throbbing hickey behind, Sasuke remembered what his original goal was and continued down. Deciding making a few more pit stops could be fun, he yanked the garishly colored robe off Naruto and latched on to one of the nipples. Lapping on the hardening nipple, he took the other and began to roll it with his thumb and forefinger. Pulling back slightly to blow on the moist nub, he then suddenly bit it and began to suck. Then the rolling became pinching and even though Naruto was wary from before, he couldn't prevent himself from mewling at the sharp pain inducing pleasure.

Sasuke then repeated the process, switching nipples, and, with Naruto bucking under Sasuke's touch, finally, kissing the whole way, went south. Naruto, thinking he would be alone for the evening, had never put underwear on, so Sasuke's face became buried in the golden locks without any effort. He let out a laugh; after the personality, it figured he was blonde the whole way.

Trying to savor when it happened, he hadn't looked at Naruto's dick before he reached it. Boy, was he surprised: It was straining, though there was nothing holding it in, the red head weeping pre-cum.

Licking his lips, Sasuke descended and swiped the tears off of the tan boy's penis. He already loved the flavor and couldn't wait to take him fully in, but, being an Uchiha, he couldn't help but tease Naruto first.

To start off the blow job, he drew his tongue slowly up the vein on the underside, tickling the blonde who gasped, choking on the words he wanted to get out. After it was thoroughly damp, he switched to nipping at the sides, enjoying when Naruto would jump.

Even as someone who loved both pleasure and pain, he took some sympathy on the dobe and began to rub the balls as he flicked the slit with his tongue.

Finally getting the words out of his mouth, Naruto wheezed, "S-S'kue d-damn you! Quit teasing!"

Laughing again and not really sure why, Sasuke decided to indulge him and took him in fully. Naruto moaned once than began panting when the brunette's laughter didn't stop just because his mouth was full. The humming on his dick was driving him crazy and he wasn't sure how much longer he could last. Dammit, he was a pole dancer! And he couldn't even handle a blow job! No, that wasn't it... Maybe Sasuke was just talented?

His thoughts on the subject pretty much stopped there, for that's when Sasuke started sucking. If he thought he was powerless before, boy, was he mistaken. "A-Ah...S-Sah-s'ke..." panted Naruto, "I-I'm g-gnna..."

Arching his back off the ground, he grunted and released into Sasuke's mouth, cum dribbling out the sides when Sasuke couldn't swallow all of it at once.

Laying back, sweating like crazy even though the a/c was blasting, Naruto desperately tried to regain his breath. But Sasuke was having none of that, immediately capturing the blue-eyed boy's bruised lips in a passionate kiss.

Teeth almost clinking at how close they tried to make themselves, Naruto noticed with part of his mind that he had been clawing up Sasuke's back, and now the pearly skin was crossed over with red lines. Oddly, he wanted to kiss it better, but Sasuke was through with kissing.

Pulling back, he breathed, "Do you have anything...?"

Not needing elaboration, Naruto murmured, "In my robe pocket..."

That intrigued Sasuke –what kinda boy kept lube in his robe pocket on nights he planned to be alone? It was almost like this had happened before.

Groping for the fuzzy cover up, he inserted his hand in the side and pulled out a small bottle. Smirking at the opportunity, he began to strip for Naruto.

Off flew the jacket, wife beater yanked off, and the pants and underwear shimmied down, all under Naruto's lust-filled gaze.

Perching over the tan body (and he does mean tan everywhere), he squirted some lube on his palm and dipped two fingers in it, smirking profusely.

"Sas-?" Naruto tried to ask before Sasuke pushed the fingers in him. "A-Ah!" cried Naruto when Sasuke started scissoring the digits. Thrusting upward, desperate to find any purchase, Naruto was getting harder to restrain. And so was Sasuke's own dick. After adding a third finger, he grabbed himself and began spreading the lube up and down his dick forcefully and following the same tune as his flexing fingers, moaning when he imagined Naruto doing the same.

But, just as he was about to add a fourth one, Naruto pulled a fist back a let it fly, striking Sasuke on the left cheek. "Get it over with, teme!" demanded Naruto to Sasuke's glare, "Stop teasing and get in me, dammit!"

Sasuke rubbed his cheek angrily, vowing to get Naruto back for that. But it would have to wait. Posing his hard length at the blonde's entrance, he waited, just for a moment, just long enough to make the blonde wonder if Sasuke was chickening out, then shoved himself fully in.

Naruto's breathing hitched as he tried to cope with the large rod now inside him. Then Sasuke just sat there, but Naruto wasn't falling for it this time. So instead he started moving around the dick stuck in him.

Glaring at the dobe, he repressed some moans and pulled out until only the head was still in him and slammed back in, hitting the little bundle of nerves dead on and creating a quick and hard rhythm. Naruto wasn't just about to lay there and take it, he came up to meet every thrust, creating an odd circle-like movement.

Reaching down for his own neglected dick, Sasuke slapped his hand away and grabbed it himself, pumping it much harder than Naruto would have done himself. Not that Naruto was complaining. At this rate, they could only last so much longer before someone came to an end.

A thrilling end, but that didn't stop them from holding back. Neither really wanted to come before the other, but before the competitiveness could register, Naruto lost.

"Sasuke!" cried Naruto as he released, coating Sasuke's stomach and his floor.

The feeling of an orgasm in his fist plus Naruto crying his name was too much for Sasuke who came with a pant and a, "A-Ah..." Still panting, Sasuke rolled over, grimacing when he realized he just moved into Naruto's cum.

Too worn to move, he looked over at Naruto, wondering the state of the blonde. His eyes were closed –he looked asleep. So Sasuke took that as his cue to leave.

Pulling his –thankfully– clean clothes on, he wondered if he'd have to call a cab or if the others had bothered to wait for him. And the whole time, he never once turned to observe the blue-eyed boy.

If he had, he would have seen that Naruto wasn't sleeping, but watching him, moving his eyes over what was left of bare skin.

Without any talking, it was nearly silent, minus the club music coming from under the door Sasuke came in through. It sounded like some Papa Roach song (4), and he started to head for it. But, when he reached the stairs, he turned to have one last look at the blonde beauty and saw the blonde's unashamed gaze.

And maybe that's why he walked back over and used a sharpie that somehow managed to remain on the coffee table to write his number down Naruto's arm. Nodding to him, Sasuke took his leave.

As for Naruto, he figured he'd better get cleaned up. It was almost closing time.


Sakura sighed and leaned back into her armchair, looking at the clock.

Closing time.

He wasn't coming.

She swore angrily and muttered, "I swear, all the cute boys are always taken!"


(1) I do not know if there is an official name for this, you know, they grab each others hands and pull them into a half hug while thumping their backs.

(2) If you look it up, 'Uchiha' is supposed to be ironic, since their clan symbol is an Uchiwa (which is a paper fan)

(3) ~burst out laughing~ Sorry, perv moment... Oh, and a bit of foreshadowing here ;)

(4) Indeed it is, the song was "Hollywood Whore" XD

Okay, I put this as a one-shot, but, I do have a plot developed. If anyone's interested in a sequel or continuation, let me know and I'll start typing away! Anyway, R&R, tell me what you think!

~Hippie-chan