This has to be without a doubt the smuttiest thing I've ever written. I hope you enjoy, you perverts. And for those of you who DONT enjoy, it's your own damn fault for not reading what's in bold, now isnt it? Numbuh 4 on my list of Danny Phantom Slash Stories.


April 1st-the bane day of every serious or sensible person in existence.

It was also the greatest day in the world next to Christmas for anyone with a sense of humor or adventure.

Case in point: Danny Fenton.

Since acquiring ghost powers, Danny had become a master of pranking, especially since he had developed undetectability as a result of said ghost powers. For four April Fools Days had passed, and not only had Danny been virtually impervious to any pranks his friends-or even his parents-had attempted, but he had that horrible habit of popping up at random and hitting his friends with balloons filled with disgusting things that they didnt even try to wonder what it was. His worst prank last year had not been for his friends, but he had goaded Mayor Vlad to turn into Plasmius and fighting him, then siced Cujo on him.

But that wasnt the worst part. Danny had taught Cujo to respond to a certain word; that word caused the puppy to tear the backside of anyone's pants off that Danny was pointing to. So as soon as Danny was fighting Plasmius, he casually pointed to the other halfa and shouted "FRUITLOOP!"

Needless to say, Plasmius was humiliated in front of all Amity Park, and people began wondering why Mayor Vlad had cancelled all public appearances for the rest of the month.

Tucker and Sam hadnt been exempt from Danny's April Fools pranks that year, either, though he didnt prank them as humiliatingly as he had done Plasmius. Instead, he had tricked Sam into drinking bacon fat, and Tucker into guzzling a V-8, making them think that they were drinking the other. Both of them didnt stop vomiting for an hour.

But this year...this year, Sam and Tucker had the perfect plan. A plan to humiliate Danny and pay him back for the horrible pranks he had pulled on them. A plan to scar the halfa all the way through college. A plan that even Vlad laughed at when he later heard about it.

...A plan that they needed Desiree for.


It had taken an hour-long trip through the Ghost Zone and the gamble that she might throttle them when she got out of the Fenton Thermos, but they finally caught her, then went into the park after calling Danny and asking him to meet up with them.

"He's on his way," Sam said, putting her cell phone back into her pocket. "Let her out."

Tucker winced with thoughts of inevitable pain from the ghost genie, but unscrewed the cap of the Thermos and let Desiree out with a burst of light. Desiree was, predictably, pissed. She rounded on Sam and Tucker, ghost energy revved up for some serious pain.

"WAIT!" Sam said holding up her hands. "We need your help!"

"YOU NEED MY HELP!" Desiree shouted, looking downright murderous. "AFTER YOU DRAGGED ME IN THAT STUPID THERMOS OUT OF NOWHERE, YOU NEED MY HELP!" Her ghost energy revved up with even more intensity.

"WE NEED YOU TO HELP UP PRANK DANNY!" Tucker shouted, putting his arms over his head as he waited for the pain. It didnt come. Desiree lowered her hands.

"...Seriously?" she asked, a hint of a smile on her face. Sam and Tucker looked up.

"...Um...yes?" Sam said carefully. "...You'll help us?"

"Of COURSE I'll help you!" she replied, cackling evilly. "I need to get the idiot boy back for last year, anyway!"

"Danny pranks the ghosts, too?" Tucker asked incredulously. Desiree rolled her eyes.

"You dont know the HALF of it!" she griped. "Last year, he made a wish for me to proclaim 'my everlasting love' for the Box Ghost every time he shouted 'BEWARE'!" She shuddered, mostly with disgust, but also with anger. "ALL DAY! ALL DAY, the idiot ghost wouldnt quit shouting 'BEWARE'!" She calmed down and smiled at the two seventeen-year-olds. "Tell me what you have in mind."

Sam looked over at the horizon and saw Danny approaching. "We wish for Danny to fall totally in slutty lust with the first person he sees!" she said, grinning evilly. Desiree cackled just as evilly and raised her hands up, preparing to grant the wish.

"So you have wished it," she began happily, "so shall it b-!"

"YOU'RE MINE, GHOST CHILD!"

At the exact moment Desiree granted the wish, Skulker came out of his hiding spot and shot at Danny midair. Both the wish-spell and Skulker's ecto-shot hit him, and he crashed into a light pole, knocking himself out unconscious. Skulker blinked and walked up to Danny, poking the unconscious halfa with his foot for a moment. "...I did it. I ACTUALLY CAUGHT HIM! YES!" He quickly snatched the boy up, stuffed him into an ecto-net, and flew back toward the nearest portal to take the boy home and skin him.

Sam, Tucker, and Desiree stared after Skulker, all three of them in shock. Sam and Tucker looked at each other, and Desiree looked at the both of them.

"...Oh..." Tucker said.

"...Crap..." Sam finished.

Desiree got over her shock and grinned evilly; if she had time, she might be able to stop by Technus's place and borrow a recording device, if she was lucky...


Skulker used Vlad's portal (it was always open for any ghost to use as they pleased, as long as they caused problems for Danny) to return home to his little island in the Ghost Zone. And really, it looked like an island.

Everyone had their own 'space' when they became residents in the Ghost Zone; all they had to do was find an unoccupied space and make it their own. In time, it became their full-fledged home (or 'lair', as Skulker liked to call his home). After his extended stay in the Zone, his 'home' looked like a decent-sized island that looked to be the central for guerrilla warfare; the island looked jungle-like, with a well-hidden cave in the very center. Inside the cave was a metal door that led to Skulker's real home.

And so Skulker walked into the cave, pressed in the pass-code for the door to open, and walked inside. The interior of his home looked like something between a caveman's hideout and a mountaineer's cabin in the woods. Past-hunt trophies were everywhere in the 'house', and everything looked either handmade or metal (courtesy of Technus; the man annoyed Skulker to no end, but when he was the only one who could build and upgrade your body, you dont complain).

Skulker walked into his 'workroom' (code for 'skinning/dissecting/mutilating' room) and opened the ecto-net to look inside. The halfa was still out cold and, surprisingly, still in ghost-mode. The mech pulled Danny out of the net and put him on the metal table, debating whether or not to skin him alive, or kill him first. He didnt really think about getting THIS far...hell, he never HAD gotten this far.

As he contemplated his tools, Danny shifted a little on the table and raised a hand to his head, where there was a painful bruised bump. He stiffled a groan of pain and opened his eyes.

...Where the hell was he, and why was there dried ectoplasm splattered everywhere? He looked around and froze when he saw Skulker standing a bit away from him, his back turned and holding what looked like a hacksaw in his hand. "Ohh...shit..." he murmured. THAT got Skulker's attention. He turned around to face the boy, a victorious smirk on his face.

"Well, well," he said, tapping the saw into his hand. "Look who's up in time for skinning. I finally have you, Ghost Child, and now I'm finally going to have that pelt on my bed!"

Danny's first thought-'OMFG I HAVE TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE'. Then it was like someone turned off his brain and pressed 'REBOOT'. When rebooting was complete...all he could see was the 100% prime metal meat in front of him, and he couldnt help the smile that crawled onto his face.

Skulker was now confused; he had just threatened the child with a skinning alive, and now the boy was SMILING? Was he suicidal? Or just plain insane? Before he could voice his questions, Danny spoke.

"Why do you need me as a pelt for your bed?" the boy said, lying on his side on the metal table almost coquettishly. "I'd be more than happy to occupy it as I am right now."

...The hell? Skulker stared at the halfa, who was now trailing his white-gloved fingers up and down his thigh suggestively. The boy must've hit his head harder than he thought. "That...wont be necessary," he said, picking up a large glowing hunting knife. "I would much rather have your pelt."

"But why?" Danny asked, tipping his head almost cutely. "My dead, lifeless pelt cant do all the things I can do for you if I'm alive. So to speak." Skulker's eyes widened when Danny licked his upper lip. "Wouldnt you just like it if you came home after a long day of hunting and Plasmius-bidding, and I was there waiting for you on your bed to help you relax by sucking your-"

"WHAT!" Skulker yelped, dropping the knife and actually backing up from the halfa. "Oh my GOD, you whelp! Are you even listening to what you're SAYING!" Danny only kept up with that perverted smile.

"Of course I am!" he replied cheerfully. "What, you dont LIKE it?" He paused, an even more devious smile appearing on his face. "Are you anatomically correct?"

Skulker was very close to freaking clean the fuck out. "I...you...!" he stuttered, backing up until he hit a wall. "Why the hell do you even WANT to know!" He had to do something; he wasnt liking the look the ghost child was giving him. Danny sat up from the table and reached up to his collar and slowly pulled the zipper down. "WHOA! WHAT are you doing!" Danny gave him a 'duh' look.

"I'm taking off my suit, Skulky," he preened. "It's awfully hot in here, dont you think?" Skulker ignored the 'Skulky' comment for the moment and was heavily relieved to see that the boy was wearing something underneath the suit, even if it WAS a tight black muscle shirt and a pair of low-hanging dark blue cargo pants. Danny tossed the HAZMAT suit aside and leaned back on the table, spreading his legs suggestively and making Skulker nearly choke on a gear. "Like what you see?" the boy asked.

"NO!" Skulker practically screamed in a panic. "Listen you sexually-charged hormone case! I HAVE a GIRLFRIEND, if hasnt slipped your mind!" Danny scowled, his green eyes glowing dangerously so, Skulker was actually afraid for his physical health.

"I'm TWICE the ghost that bitch will EVER be!" he spat, pouting. Granted, yeah, Ember could be real bitch at times, but...

"...Actually, you're literally HALF the ghost she is," Skulker replied. "...You're half the ghost EVERYONE is here." Danny's pouting then turned into a beaming smile so fast, Skulker was beginning to question the boy's mental state.

"That makes me all the more special!" Danny said, his hand sliding down his inner thigh. "And isnt that what you want? Rare, special things? Collections? I'll be part of your collection...just show me the bedroom and let me know where you want me."

...Okay, Skulker thought. He had to get the boy to Plasmius. Yes...yes, he'd do that. He'd throw the boy back into the net, drag him to Plasmius, and let HIM deal with the little nympho. He was a little too busy with his thoughts to notice that Danny had slid off of the table and was now standing right in front of him, almost chest-to-chest. It wasnt until he felt the boy's hands on his chest that he looked down and yelped, trying to jump back but being reminded that he was already pinned against the wall.

"Okay, YOU need to stop!" Skulker shouted, snatching the offending hands off of his chest. "Take a cold shower, picture Plasmius naked, SOMETHING!"

"I've actually seen Vlad naked once, and he's not that bad-looking," Danny replied without missing a beat. "But I'd rather see YOU naked." With a quick shove, Danny practically threw the hunter into the next room, which just so happened to be his bedroom, and shoved him onto the bed. "So THIS is where you always wanted me..." he mused, looking around. Skulker shot up from the bed only to be pushed down again and straddled.

Skulker was at a total and utter loss. He had NEVER been hit on like this before, not even from Ember (they had gotten together literally from him saying "You're cute, want a date?" and her answering "Whatever."). If it were under almost ANY other condition, he'd actually find it flattering; but the whelp was his prey and he was just about to skin the kid when this happened. WHAT had happened, anyway? He was cut off from his thoughts when Danny nuzzled his metal face and practically purred at him.

"Your metal is so warm..." he purred, stroking his hands down Skulker's chest. Skulker felt 'his metal' grow even warmer; every inch of his metal body was directly connected to his true ghost form; it was like his metal body WAS his original body. He could feel pain, pleasure, discomfort (hit that nail on the head); everything an original body could. And it was just like that nutjob Technus to make it anatomically correct (not that he ever complained before), the perverted techie. And speaking of perverts, the little one on his lap was stroking his hands down his body and kissing his face, making Skulker incredibly uncomfortable in more ways than one.

Danny shifted his weight slightly and paused when he felt something under his thigh. "...Well...Sam and Tucker owe me fifty bucks..." he said slyly. Skulker gave him a look.

"Why?" he asked, happy that Danny seemed distracted enough to NOT kiss him. Danny only smirked back and shifted his weight again sharply, causing Skulker's face to heat up.

"We made a bet on whether or not you were anatomically correct," Danny replied, one hand reaching down to fondle Skulker's belt buckle. "I bet you were...I won..." He blinked when he felt a slight twitching. "...And it WORKS!"

Skulker was BEYOND humiliation by this point. YES, he knew 'it worked', he just didnt want nor need the boy to point that out! Skulker let out a growl and shoved the boy off of him, making Danny land hard on his floor. "Get off, STAY off!" he growled. "I DONT want you feeling me up, you half-ghost brat!"

Danny stared at Skulker for a moment, then smiled again. "But I can make you feel good," he simpered, sitting up on his knees and resting his hands on Skulker's legs. Skulker was about five seconds away from completely blowing a gasket, seriously.

"I dont WANT you to 'make me feel good'!" he shouted, getting thoroughly ticked off. "I WANT you to lie down and let me skin you like a good prey so I can have your pelt!"

"I can 'skin' myself, wanna see?"

Skulker felt his eye twitch. "What?" he said. Danny grinned and reached down to pull his shirt off over his head. "NO, NO, NO!" He shoved the shirt back down. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY are you acting like a five-dollar prostitute!"

"You dont have to pay me, I'll do it for free."

The hunter was about to have a nervous breakdown. "Is this a dare? Did someone dare you to act this way?"

"No."

"Any lingering pain in your head?"

"...No, dont think so."

"Are you being blackmailed?"

"No."

"Then WHY?"

"Because you're hot."

"ARRRGH!" Skulker put his face in his hands, trying not to go into a system overload. This had to be a trick, a dare, SOMETHING other than what the stupid child was insinuating. Hell, just four days ago, they were about ready to kill each other because he had interrupted Danny at the water park with his friends, and NOW Danny decided that Skulker was worth getting a lay from?

Hands on his shoulders pulled him out of his thoughts, and Skulker looked up in time for Danny to shove him onto his back and straddle him again. Sometime during the last few seconds, Danny had shed the muscle shirt and was now half-naked on top of him. And Skulker was only half-ashamed to admit, the kid had toned out the past three and a half years, and didnt even look like a kid anymore. Aside from the still-boyish face, Danny Fenton-Phantom-had certainly grown up from being that puny little pup he once was. He actually LOOKED like he could take Skulker on.

Danny leered down at Skulker like HE was the hunter and Skulker was the prey; his green eyes were glowing softly, his shoulder-length white hair tousled around his face. The halfa licked his lips with anticipation and in one quick swoop, dove down and captured Skulker's lips in his own. The hunter froze solid; he had NO idea that it would be so...

...Good.

Skulker found his own damn body betraying his thought process. It wasnt HIS fault that Ember hadnt touched him in months, or that there was an attractive halfa on top of him, kissing him, and offering exactly what his male pride had been wanting for a long time. Sexuality wasnt as big an issue for ghosts as it was for the living. In the Ghost Zone, if someone was willing for intimacy, then damn it, you took it. Skulker's only problem was his scruples. One, he had pursued the halfa as nothing more than his prey for the past three years. Two, he was still currently technically with Ember.

And if there was one thing Skulker was a master of, it was commitment. Why else would he have never ceased his hunt for the rare halfa?

But right now, the 'rare halfa' was kissing him and fondling his metal flesh with enthusiasm and need that Ember never possessed, and his neglected body ('Fuck you, Technus, for making it so detailed!' he thought bitterly) was reminding him that it hadnt had any for the past three months and was aching for attention.

...Fuck it.

Skulker growled into the halfa's mouth and pulled Danny closer, drawing a moan from the little nympho. Danny reached up and stroked his hands over Skulker's face and head, the green flames licking around his hands but not burning. After a few minutes of the heated kiss, Skulker pulled back and glared at the halfa.

"If we're going to do this, whelp," he growled, his fingers non-too-gently clenching into Danny's hair, "then we're going to do this MY way, understand?" Danny only nodded, his eyes aglow with lust. Skulker growled and shoved the halfa off of him and onto his back on the bed, then began to take his belt and shoulder-strap off, trying to ignore how hungrily the halfa was eyeing him. With the shoulder-strap came the shoulder armor, which he carefully placed on the floor. After just a moment's hesitation, he untucked his own muscle shirt and pulled it up over his head.

If at all possible, Danny's sudden infaturation with him seemed to deepen. Skulker noticed that Danny's line of vision seemed focused on the right-hand side of his chest, where something akin to a tattoo was etched into his metal skin. When he had been alive, he'd had a tattoo in the exact same place; the tattoo was an intricate skull encased in flame with a tribal design circling it. He'd had other tattoos aside from this one, but the skull had always been his favorite and most meaningful, so he had etched it himself into the metal soon after he got this body.

Danny's impatient noises brought him out of his nostalgia, and he got up on the bed and was quickly pushed to his back by the halfa. Danny's hands traced over his metal chest, and his lips fluttered over the etched tattoo. Skulker felt a shudder run through his body; he'd almost forgotten what it was like to be touched like this. It felt good. Danny touched and kissed his way down Skulker's bare abdomen and his hands strayed to his pants. Skulker's hips shifted slightly; it was no surprise that THAT part of his metal anatomy was aching for the most attention. Attention granted, Danny pulled the hunter's pants open and grinned with the utmost perversity, his green eyes sliding up to lock with Skulker's.

The hunter knew what Danny was going to do a half-second before he did it; it still didnt prepare him at all when Danny took his metal appendage in his mouth.

All ten inches of it.

It took all Skulker had not to jump clean off of the bed; where the HELL did the boy learn THAT! He had been watching the whelp and never ONCE had he seen the boy with another male to remotely practice this with. And for that matter, how did the boy manage not to choke? Flesh was one thing, but his was pure METAL (one of the reasons why after three years, Ember had YET to do this to him). Metal didnt stop him from feeling it as though he had a flesh (ecto-flesh, whatever) body, and Skulker clenched his fingers into his animal skin bedcover.

Danny was making perverted noises as he sucked the mech off; a half-disgusting/half-erotic mix between moaning and slurping, and Skulker knew the brat was doing it on purpose. But far be it for him to complain right now. He leaned his head back on the bed and focused on the pleasure the halfa was giving him until he instinctively grabbed Danny by the back of he head and held it roughly in place as an orgasm hit him. Being 90% mech, he fortunately didnt have bodily fluids of the sexual sort to contend with, but the effect still felt the same regardless.

It took a moment before he realized that his cock was still down Danny's throat, and he pulled his hand away so Danny could let his head up. Danny raised his head and licked his lips, not at all affected by the-ahem-experience. "...How did you not choke?" Skulker couldnt help but ask. Danny grinned.

"Dont need to breathe when I'm in ghost mode," he replied, crawling up Skulker's body and kissing the tattoo again. "Did you like it?" His tone of voice made Skulker shudder as a new wave of arousal coursed through his system.

"Wont lie," he replied, pulling the halfa to him so they were chest-to-chest. "I liked it." Danny kissed him again, purring in the back of his throat, something Skulker wondered how the boy could do. Not that he was complaining; it was very animal-like, and Skulker was, of course, an animal enthusiast, in a sense. It only made the hunter/prey game more exciting. Danny pulled his lips away and leaned his head on Skulker's shoulder, stroking his hands down the mech's arm.

"Touch me," he said, half-commanding, half-pleading. Skulker complied, reaching between them to unbutton the halfa's jeans and pulling them down, finding that the boy wore nothing underneath. Commando seemed to be a ghost thing, he thought to himself. Male ghost, anyway... He tugged the jeans off and pushed the boy to his back, eyeing him with interest.

Three and a half years of ghost-fighing had really paid off, he mused. The boy had muscle, but it was more toned, much like a swimmer's physique. His skin was slightly tanned; odd for a ghost, considering he was paler in human form. Not a flaw on him, not even a scar. Skulker pegged that off as an effect of the boy's speed-healing he discovered two years ago. The halfa was a thing of pure beauty, and as a hunter, he appreciated beauty. His trophies were a testament to that.

He also noticed, almost humorously, that the carpet matched the curtain with the boy's transformation. Who knew?

Danny squirmed around, his arousal quite obvious. "Skulkerrrrr...!" he whined, sounding a bit off with his more masculine voice he got when he was sixteen. "Touch me!" Skulker grinned, happy that HE was the one with the control reigns now, and reached up to touch the boy's chest, feeling the muscles constrict under his hand. Danny groaned and arched his back, urging Skulker to continue. Not wanting to deny the needy little whelp anything (note: sarcasm), Skulker stroked his hand down Danny's body, purposely skipping the boy's hard-on, something the halfa didnt miss. "You...asshole...!" he ground out between pants of needless breath.

"You expected something else then, whelp?" Skulker smirked, trailing one finger down the inside of Danny's left thigh. Danny whimpered and weakly beat his fists on Skulker's chest.

"Meanie!" he whined.

'Well,' Skulker thought, 'THAT was a new insult.' He leaned down and pressed his metal lips to Danny's collarbone, kissing his way down the boy's chest and abdomen. He felt Danny's hands hold his head almost desperately, and took delight in the moans he elicited from the boy. 'Bait the prey,' he thought, stroking his hands over Danny's body, still not touching the neglected member. 'Make them come to you.' And Ember said sex was NOTHING like hunting. She just didnt appreciate the chase.

Danny's body had taken on an interesting flush, complete with a thin sheen of sweat, something Skulker figured came from the boy's human side. It created a fascinating and admittedly erotic sight, if not exotic. He grinned and tucked his hand under Danny's right leg and lifted it to get better access and paused for a moment. "...You have done this before, right?" he asked. Danny glared at the interruption, but shook his head.

"You're the first."

...This might be a problem. "Can you create ectoplasm?" he asked. Yes, Skulker was a ghost, but his powers outside of technology and the basic ghost powers (intangibility and invisibility) were limited. Danny sighed and held up his hand, making a gooey substance appear in it. "I'll need a bit more than that," Skulker warned.

"I'll be fine," Danny replied. "My ghost form is very...accomodating."

"...And you know this HOW, if you've never done this before?"

"Just smear the lubricant on your dick and get it inside of me before I scream," Danny growled. "Or Wail. Your pick."

Skulker shuddered; he'd been on the receiving end of the 'Ghostly Wail' once, and that was one time too many. He rubbed the ectoplasm from Danny's hand onto his member and used the rest of it to coat his fingers. Not that he minded causing the brat some pain; he just didnt want blood on his animal skin bedcover. Ectoplasm was easy to get out. Blood NEVER came out. He pressed one finger into the boy's entrance and was shocked to find that it slid in almost easily. The whelp was right; he was...accommodating.

...He STILL had to figure out how the boy figured that out.

Accommodating or not, Danny arched up and hissed, reaching his hands up to clutch at the metal rungs on the headboard of the bed above his head. Skulker pumped the finger in and out, thinking that he might not have needed ectoplasm for this after all, and added another, using his free hand to hook the boy's leg over his shoulder. Danny panted needlessly, but Skulker rather enjoyed the vision in front of him. He enjoyed the sensation of power over the halfa, who had thwarted and evaded him time and time again. All that power the boy possessed, and SKULKER was in control of the boy himself.

In a way, this was BETTER than the idea of skinning the halfa.

When he was quite sure that Danny wouldnt suffer permanent damage from being fucked with metal, Skulker pulled his fingers out and hooked the other leg under his arm and positioned himself at Danny's entrance. "Prepared, whelp?" he asked, grinning.

"...D...Danny...!" the boy gasped, rotating his hips to try to impale himself on the metal.

"What?"

"My name...it's Danny...!" he replied. "...Or Phantom...Dan...SOMETHING...other than 'whelp'...!"

'Dan'...Skulker rather liked that one. "Right," he replied, pushing in a little. Danny yelped and jumped a little. Skulker held the boy by his waist to keep him from moving and pushed in further, revelling in the cries the boy-Dan-was making. And accommodation be damned, the boy was TIGHT. He pushed in further letting out a groan of his own when he managed to slide all the way in.

Danny was arched up hard, groaning and begging for more from the mech. His chest was heaving with habitual breath, and if he didnt know any better, he swore the boy's body temperature was fluxuating; flaming hot, icy cool, and back again. His eyes glanced up at the boy-(Dan, he corrected himself)-and froze when he saw the effect of Dan's grip on his headboard.

Danny was holding onto two separate rungs with each hand; his left hand was faintly glowing blue and the run looked frozen. His right hand was flowing a pale green, and the metal rung looked like it was being heated up.

...The halfa was both a fire and ice elemental.

Dan had power, Skulker knew, but he had no clue that the halfa had THIS much power! And here he was, letting-LETTING!-Skulker dominate him, willingly playing the bitch to the mech.

'I...am...a GOD!' Skulker couldnt help but think, grinning almost insanely.

...Oh, he could get used to this.

"Put your legs up higher," Skulker commanded. Danny complied without a pause, and hooked both legs over the mech's shoulders. "Comfortable, DAN?" he asked, pulling out slightly. Danny groaned again and let go of the rungs to clasp his hands around Skulker's forearms. Skulker took that as a 'yes' and began assaulting Danny with as much force as he thought necessary without permanent damage. Three months of unwitting abstinence after three and a half years of occasional mediocre sex, Skulker was damned to an early Hell if he wasnt going to get what HE wanted for a change.

Danny was yelping and panting like a wanton bitch in heat, and Skulker was loving every minute of it. The halfa didnt complain that he was being too rough. He didnt demand to be looked in the eye. He wasnt even asking for his needs to be taken care of first. He was getting the sex he had begged and coerced Skulker to give him, and that was enough. And Skulker was ECSTATIC. It felt good to feel like the alpha male in his own home again. It felt REALLY good.

After a few minutes, Skulker lowered Danny's legs and pulled out of the boy, and was given a glare and a minor ice-and-fire burn on his respective arms. Skulker ignored it and forcefully turned Danny to his stomach before grabbing the halfa's hips and shoving back in. Danny let out a short scream and buried his head in the soft animal skin pillow. Skulker grinned; he had a feeling Dan would appreciate that. He braced himself up with one hand on the halfa's back and thrusted his hips hard, being rewarded with a short scream of pleasure with each hit on target.

Danny was screaming Skulker's name after just one minute, something the mech felt very empowered by. He reached around and grabbed the halfa's cock in his hand, making sure not to squeeze too hard; the halfa was strong, but he was still metal. He stroked Danny in time with his thrusts, sending the halfa into incoherent spasms of ecstasy. Danny let out one last sharp cry of Skuker's name-and created a very minor Ghostly Wail in the process-as he came hard into the mech's hand. The halfa was stiff for a moment, then he collapsed limp onto Skulker's bed, allowing the mech to finish up as he pleased in his own time.

Though thoroughly spent, Danny still let out yelps and whimpers with each of Skulker's thrusts. Skulker took his sweet time enjoying his new pet, and quickened the pace only when he was just at his end. After a few quick thrusts, he hit his own orgasm and had to brace himself up with his hands on either side of the halfa's body to keep from crushing Dan. He took a moment to calm his system before pulling out and pulling Danny's still-limp body up so he could lie down first and lay the halfa on top of him (the bed was meant for one person, and Skulker was broad-bodied enough as it was for himself).

Danny nuzzled his face into Skulker's warm chest almost lovingly, making that content purring sound as Skulker petted his hair as though he were petting a cat on his chest, rather than a well-spent teenager.

"...That was...awesome..." Danny slurred. Skulker snorted; the boy's conversational skills hadnt improved with age, he saw.

"Very eloquent, whelp." Danny hit him in the chest. "Dan."

"That's better..." Danny yawned and snuggled into Skulker before going quiet. It took Skulker a few minutes to realize that Danny had gone to sleep.

'Not a bad idea,' he thought, reaching over to pick an animal skin blanket up from the chair next to his bed. He tossed it open and covered the both of them with it before closing his eyes and drifting off into a land of jungles, prey, and hunting knives.


"Okay, this is just killing me!" Sam shouted, freaking out. "For all we know, Danny could be dead! Turned into that stupid pelt Skulker keeps talking about!"

"...Ew," Tucker replied. "Sam, calm down, I'm sure Danny's okay! I mean, it's been HOURS, and Skulker hasnt come back from the Ghost Zone to brag about his new pelt! He probably put Danny in storage or something for later."

Sam forced herself to calm down; Tucker was right. If Skulker had skinned Danny by now, then the stupid hunter would've been shouting it from the rooftops by this point. "You're right," she said, nibbling her lip. "We...we just have to find Desiree, undo the stupid wish in case Danny was still out cold when he woke up in storage or whatever, then save Danny."

"Speaking of 'stupid wishes'..." Tucker said, pointing to Desiree, who was flying over and looking quite pleased with herself. "Desiree! We want to undo the wish!"

Desiree only grinned, looking downright devious. 'Yes,' she thought; breaking that wish now would put the icing on the April Fool's Day cake right about now. "Alright," she said, shrugging. "You know how to word it."

"I wish to take back the wish that Danny would fall in love with the next person he saw!" Sam said quickly. Desiree withheld a cackle.

"So you have wished it, so it shall be!" She glowed with her ghostly wish-granting energy for a moment. "It's done. And you have nothing to worry about. Skulker hasnt skinned him yet."

"Thank God!" Sam cried. "C'mon, Tucker! We have to go save Danny!" She grabbed Tucker by the arm and dragged him to Fenton Works. As soon as they were out of earshot, Desiree erupted into undignified laughter. Oh, she just couldnt WAIT for the Ghost Child to wake up.


Danny woke up several hours later, feeling something hard under his body. He opened his eyes to see bare metal greeting his eyes, and shifted his gaze up to a sleeping Skulker.

The first thought that ran through his mind: 'WHAT THE JESUS FUCKING SHEEP SHIT!'

He bolted up away from the mech and immediately became aware of the fact that he was very, very naked. He looked down at Skulker and saw the disarray his clothes were in, and what the fuck was that sticking out of his pants!

Danny was having a difficult time trying to get his senses in order. His brain was a jumbled mess of questions and thoughts other unpleasant things; one thing out of his mind that became clear was that he needed clothes. NOW. He found and fumbled with his clothes, not caring that his muscle shirt was on backwards, and tried to get his bearings straight.

Okay, exhibit A) He woke up in bed with Skulker. Naked. Exhibit B) he was feeling a bit...dirty and sticky. Exhibit C) his ass kind of hurt.

...Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we have reached a verdict:

"I HAD SEX WITH SKULKER!"

THAT scream woke Skulker up. Instinctively, he shot up in bed, his glowing blade shooting out of his forearm in attack mode. Naturally, Danny assumed the worst, freaked out, screamed, and flew out of Skulker's lair so fast he might as well have accidentally learned teleporting.

Skulker looked around in attack mode for a moment before realizing the situation and remembering what had transpired last night. He looked at his glowing blade out in attack mode and saw that Danny was gone. 'Shit,' he thought. He must've scared the boy off. He retracted the blade and got out of bed, setting his clothing straight and putting his belt and armor back on. He was about to go find Dan when he heard his doorbell ring.

Skulker frowned; who would be visiting him at this hour? He walked over to his door and opened it to find Desiree of all people standing in the doorway. "...What do you want?" he asked, confused. She only gave him a grin that looked positively devious.

"How was your time with the product of the greatest April Fool's Day prank ever?" she asked. Skulker blinked.

"...What the hell are you talking about?" he demanded. Desire crossed her arms and leaned against his door frame.

"Two of the Ghost Child's friends were tired of his April Fool's Day pranks," she said, examining her fingernails. "So they asked me to make a wish for them to get him back for pranking them. Of course, I was more than happy to oblige, considering what the brat did to me LAST year."

Skulker grinned; he remembered that. It was hilarious. Desiree noticed his grin and smirked. "Oh, THIS year's prank was BETTER," she said, leaning in as though about to reveal a secret. "His friends told me that they wished that the Ghost Child would 'fall in total slutty lust with the first person he saw'. Funny, huh?"

...Skulker swore the temperature dropped to fifty below absolute zero. Desiree went back to examining her nails. "And just a few minutes ago, his friends took the wish back. I'm guessing THAT'S why he looked about ready to pass out when I passed him on the way here." She grinned up at the mech, who looked like his brain had just shut down. "So..." she drawled, leaning in close again. "How was he?"

Feeling a spike of rage course through his systems, Skulker shoved Desiree away from his doorframe and slammed the door shut. He stood in his foyer, clenching his fists tightly to avoid destroying anything in his home.

He was pissed at those stupid brats for making the wish.

He was pissed at Desiree for granting it-HAPPILY granting it.

He was pissed at himself for unwitting falling victim to the prank as well.

He was pissed at Dan for...

...Nothing.

The boy was not at fault at all.

HE had been the victim of the prank, if you could even call it that. Yeah, the Ghost Child had pranked him two years back, when he used the techno-geeks' PDA to program his systems to randomly burst into show tunes every ten minutes. THAT had been a prank.

Wishing for him to have insatiable sexual lust for the first person he saw-be it enemy or total stranger-and having his virginity taken as an unwitting result, and probably having no memory of it? That wasnt a prank. THAT was just cruel.

And no doubt, Desiree was going to tell everyone in the Ghost Zone about it. Ember would find out and he'd never hear the end of it. Vlad Plasmius would hear of it, and even though he was the arch-nemesis of the boy, the elder halfa had a certain affection for Dan and he was SURE Plasmius would hunt him down and physically remove the appendage that had deflowered his 'Little Badger'.

Skulker sat down on his couch and buried his face in his hands.

He was FUCKED.


It was a week after the April Fool's Day 'prank', and Danny had still refused to come out of his room.

His friends had found him six days ago and had explained what had happened. After hearing them out, Danny told them to get out before he skinned THEM and made pelts to send to Skulker for next Christmas. Jazz was wondering what was wrong, but Danny wasnt talking to her. His parents were worried, but allowed him to stay home from school (he had used his fire powers to make himself have a temperature).

At first, Danny had felt hopelessly violated, like the entire thing had been set up by the detail. But after thinking about Sam and Tucker's explaination and thinking back really hard to what he had been thinking and doing while under the spell, he pieced together enough facts to come to a conclusion.

Fact 1) Skulker had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time; he had no idea about the spell.

Fact 2) He remembered that Skulker had resisted for the longest time before breaking.

Fact 3) Skulker hadnt just taken from Danny; he had made him feel good. He had taken care of Danny's needs first.

Fact 4) Skulker had obviously enjoyed it.

Fact 5) DANNY had obviously enjoyed it.

Conclusion: April Fool's Day sucked. It sucked hard.

For the past few days, Danny had not been cowering over the loss of his virginity to one of his enemies-the robotic one, of all of them-but rather his own feelings about the experience. He admitted to himself that he had LIKED it. He'd had dreams about it, for fuck's sake. Dreams that usually ended with Danny having to change his pajama bottoms.

He'd also realized that Skulker hadnt known about the 'prank', and had fallen victim to it unwittingly himself. And it was like the mech said while trying to resist Danny's advances: he had a girlfriend. Danny was quite sure that Ember was probably breaking his balls right about now, over something stupid his friends had done.

The VERY least he could do was apologize to Skulker for ruining both his hunt and his relationship with Ember.

Nine days after April 1st, Danny, who was still pretending to have a fever, was staying home whle his parents were going somewhere for the weekend. He had convinced them that it was just a bug going around and that he'd be fine by the time they returned home. It was Friday, so Sam and Tucker were at school. He transformed, feeling a little weird without his suit, and flew into the Ghost Portal.

If push came to shove, he thought, he could always go human and he'd be untouchable until he made it back to his parent's lab.


Skulker was having The. Worst. Week. Of. His. UNLIFE.

Thankfully, Ember hadnt heard the 'prank' immediately. No, the rumors had circulated and worsened in theory for two days before Ember finally heard it from Kitty that Skulker had slept with the Ghost Boy. And not just slept with, nooooo. Apparantly, Skulker and Danny Phantom had been secret lovers since the kid was sixteen. Fucking rumor mill.

Skulker hadnt left his lair since the incident, and Ember had broken his door down in a firey fury, demanding answers. He had answered that hell no, he hadnt been fucking the Ghost Child for over a year. It had only been once. THAT had earned him a punch in the face. They had argued for three days straight, and in during that time, Skulker finally told her what he'd been wanting to tell her for years: that she was a demanding, selfish, high-maintenence, neglectful little bitch who didnt know how to ONCE AND A FUCKING WHILE put his pleasure before her own, and for ONCE, he had been satisfied sexually since before they had even gotten together.

Ember had just stared at him in shock for a few moments, then she broke her guitar over his head and left the lair after screaming at him to have a nice life with the Ghost Slut, because she'd already been seeing Walker on the side, anyway.

Well. Not only did his head hurt, but his pride had been wounded. And she called DAN the slut? At least Skulker had fessed up to what he'd done.

And now here he was, sitting in his home with his new door and new pass code to keep deranged bitch ex-girlfriends, teasing ghost compatriots, and psychotic halfa godfathers out. Technus had helped him fix the door, and was practically the only ghost who wasnt making fun of Skulker for what had happened. Technus told him that Desiree wanted to borrow recording equipment for the 'prank', but Technus had refused. It was nice to know Skulker had at least ONE friend in this hell hole he called home, even if he was an annoying pervert who asked Skulker for details like a gossiping teenage girl.

He contemplated his blade, wondering if it could be used for suicide, when his doorbell rang. He growled to himself, keeping the blade unsheathed. If it was ONE MORE PERSON coming to make fun of him, he swore he was going to go postal. He stalked over to the door and yanked it open, prepared to start screaming, but froze when he saw who it was.

"...Hi," Danny said, his hands fumbling in front of him. Skulker stared at the halfa in shocked silence for a long time before stepping aside. Danny gulped and stepped inside the hunter's lair. He hoped he hadnt come at a bad time. He had traveled invisible all the way here, and had heard nonstop gossip about him and Skulker the whole time, which led him to believe that the mech was just as miserable as he was. He stood in uncomfortable silence with the hunter for the longest time before he couldnt take the silence anymore. "I'm sorry!" he burst out, his face burning red.

Skulker jumped; he had been just about to open his mouth to apologize to the boy-Dan-for what HE'D done, and the halfa was apologizing to HIM? "...What?" he asked, stunned. Danny put a hand over his face, looking humiliated.

"I'm sorry for ruining your reputation here!" he said quickly, wanting to get this over with. "I swear, I didnt know what had happened! I didnt...I wasnt myself when I...we...did all those...things...!" 'Oh, God, kill me now,' he thought. "I didnt mean to screw up your relationship with Ember! If you want my pelt, you've got it, because I dont think I can live with the shame anymore!"

Skulker gaped at the halfa. "...Why are YOU apologizing?" he demanded, getting Danny's attention. "Boy...Dan!...I'M the one who gave into your advances! I'M the one who screwed up my relationship with Ember, who I'm not too sorry to see go, by the way; I'M the one who took your virginity, and YOU'RE apologizing to ME?" He sounded about ready to kill something. Danny took a step back, just in case. Skulker noticed and sighed, putting a hand over his own face in frustration. "...It's not you," he ground out through his teeth. "I'm not mad at you. I'm pissed at your friends. I'm pissed at Desiree. I'm pissed as HELL at Ember. But not you. You didnt do anything wrong."

Danny blinked and felt something run down his face. He brought his hand up to touch it and saw that his fingertips were wet; he was crying. Oh shit, he thought, flushing. 'I'm picking NOW to have a breakdown?' He controlled himself, fighting to keep his eyes dry. "...Thank you," was all he could say to the mech. Skulker nodded, still looking a little angry. Danny had a sudden thought that he just couldnt keep trapped behind his verbal filter. "...Do you regret it?"

Skulker stared at Danny. 'Did he regret it'? Did he regret having the best sex he'd had since before he died? Did he regret getting out of a relationship with a selfish whore who didnt care about their relationship? Did he regret feeling in control, like the hunter he always knew he was, for ONCE in over three years?

"...I regret the circumstances," was all Skulker could trust himself to say.

Danny let out a shuddery sigh and felt his legs give out; he managed to sit himself in a chair before he fell on the floor. Skulker sat down on his couch, and they both shared a moment of uncomfortable silence.

"...You still have my suit?" he asked Skulker. The hunter gave Danny a glance, then nodded. Danny made a noncommittal sound.

"...Tell you what," Skulker said, breaking the silence. Danny looked over at him. "...Let me keep the suit and call it fair trade for your pelt."

Danny blinked in surprise at the odd deal, but then gave Skulker a small smile. Skulker returned it. In just a few moments, both of them were a laughing hysterically for reasons neither of them could understand. It took them both awhile to calm down.

"I wont lie to you," Skulker said after he had finished getting a hold on himself. "I liked it. It was the best sex I've had since...I was alive." Danny blushed red and wrung his hands together. "...Shit...sorry, I just meant..."

"I liked it, too," Danny said in a hurry, his face now a blazing red. Skulker stared at him and Danny put his face in his hands out of embarrassment. "...Crap, does this mean I'm gay?"

Skulker snorted. "We dont care much for sexuality down here, per se," he replied. "If you like someone, you like someone. That's it. I've had male lovers here before. I've had female. It's not about gender."

"...Wish things were that simple in the mortal world," Danny muttered.

"Why, you have a boy-crush?" Skulker asked, grinning. Danny blushed harder and pulled the hood of the hoodie he had thrown on over his head. "That'd be a 'yes'. Well come on, boy, tell me who you seem to have homo-erotic feelings about."

Danny mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like 'asshole', then looked up a little. "...yrr," he mumbled out through mostly-closed lips.

"Couldnt hear that, who?" Skulker asked.

"...You."

Total. Utter. Silence.

Danny couldnt stand the quiet anymore, and stood up. "I should go," he said, heading for the door. He was stopped by a hand around his arm, and turned to see Skulker stopping him from leaving. They stared at one another for a moment before Skulker grabbed the boy by the front of his hoodie and jerked him forward, slamming their lips together.

Very good memories of almost ten days prior flooded back as Danny kissed the hunter. His hand absently strayed to the right side of Skulker's chest, where the etched tattoo lay under the shirt. After a few moments, Skulker pulled away, grinning down at the halfa. "I have a proposition for you," he said, tracing his finger over Danny's jawline. Danny made a dazed sound of attention. "I'll still hunt you down...but not in a deadly way." Danny stared at him, confused. "If you can evade me, then that's it; you've evaded me. But if I capture you..." He grinned almost evilly. "...Then you have to submit to me and let me have my wicked way with you."

Danny blushed red again, but not as red as last time; there simply wasnt enough ecto-blood in his body to accomodate both north and south at the same time. "...I think I can deal," he replied, trying to sound casual. He leaned up and gave Skulker a peck on the cheek. "And it would keep suspicion off our tail until next year."

"Why, what's next year?" Skulker asked. Danny gave him his own patented evil grin.

"Why, April Fool's Day, of course!" he said. "I have a prank in mind, if you're willing to go for it."

Skulker'd really had enough 'pranks' in any sense of the word to last an unlifetime, but if Dan was gung-ho for it and ASKING him to participate, then what the hell, why not?

"What'd you have in mind?"


OOOOH, THE EVILNESS! *cackles like a madman* I'll put up an epilogue soon; this fic is way too long as a one-shot as it is...