A/N: I've never actually written an entire story out before posting it before this little doozy right here…I'm going to say right now though that this one is one of the stories I'm most proud of. XXxVermillionxXx and I teamed up for this, throwing together my insane Lawson bunch with someone just as nuts as them-Vermi's Mindy Stratus. For those who don't know, Mindy is Trish's schizophrenic, rockstar twin sister and Kane's wife and she is pretty much the only female OC that I ever care to read about (cheap plug time: go to my favorite author's page and check out Vermi's stuff-believe me, you won't be disappointed).
Buckle up kiddies, this one is going to be a hell of a ride.
"Glen! Glen where are you?"
The sound of his wife's voice distracted Glen from the pile of bills he was attempting to write out. "I'm busy Minda!" he yelled back. "Whatever it is, have Trish do it for you?"
There was a very long moment of silence but just when Glen went to go back to doing what he was doing, Mindy decided to open her mouth again. "But Glen! Trisha is busy!"
"Well so am I! And my shit is actually important so go bug her!"
"I can't! I need you! Glen please, just come here! He's gonna get me if you don't come here!"
Glen groaned before throwing down his pen and storming out of the room to go confront his wife. "This better be important Miranda," he growled, even though he severely doubted that it was.
"We're out of ice cream," she informed him as soon as he stepped foot into the kitchen.
He stopped dead in his tracks and then groaned. "So?"
"So? SO? Glen, the ice cream is goned! It hided from me and I want it now!" She opened the freezer and started throwing shit out of there. "I wanted a hot fudge sundae! Trisha says I can't have it cuz I gotta watch my figure but I want it and I'm gonna get it!"
Glen rolled his eyes before grabbing her and yanking her away from the freezer. "Would you stop that?" he asked, the vein right by his eye twitching uncontrollably. "The ice cream isn't going to magically appear by you throwing shit everywhere."
Mindy stomped her foot childishly and then looked up at Glen hopefully. "You'll get me ice cream won't you?"
"Doesn't Trish have you on a diet?" Glen asked, stalling because he didn't feel like going anywhere.
"Yeah but I can work it off," Mindy replied. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging his waist as tightly as she could. "Besides, we can keep it our little secret as long as you don't open your big fat mouth."
"Me? I have the big mouth?"
"Yes. You are also completely impossible."
Glen smirked. "Look who's talking."
Mindy let go of him and huffed angrily. "Are you going to get me my ice cream or not?"
Glen was saved from having to answer that by the doorbell ringing. "Somebody's at the door!" Thorn screamed at the top of her lungs.
"I've got it!" Trish called out.
Glen sneered at the sound of her voice, wishing that she would just go back home to her useless tool of a husband. They didn't need her with them and he sure as hell was tired of having her around.
"Stop that," Mindy ordered, looking more exasperated with him.
"Well get her out of my house and I will," he snapped.
Seconds later, Trish came into the kitchen closely followed by Mark and Michelle. Michelle was positively beaming and Mark had a very unreadable look on his face. "These two have something to tell us," Trish said, going over to Mindy and attaching herself to her twin. Glen scowled at her and she scowled right back at him, but Michelle was going to be damned if their attention stayed anywhere but on her for very long.
"You guys know Mark and I have been dating for quite awhile," she said, practically bouncing up and down. Glen had a horrible feeling about what was going to come out of her mouth next but she went ahead and blurted it out before he could stop her.
"Mark and I are getting married!"
Glen and Trish both cringed, but they both managed to hold in their horror for the most part. Mindy however, was not afraid to express how she felt about the whole situation. "EWWWW, that's nasty!"
The big fat smile melted right off Michelle's face and Mark raised his eyebrows at her. "And what exactly is so nasty about it?" he asked.
She didn't give him an answer to that. Instead she grabbed Michelle's hand and looked at the engagement ring that was on her finger. "That is so tiny," she said in disgust. "You can't even see that diamond!" She waved her hand right in front of Michelle's face to show off her own wedding ring. "Look at that! Look! Mine's bigger because Glenn loves me more!"
"Little Sister…" Mark said, trying to reel her back in with a warning growl.
"Trish's ring is better than that and Ron is poor!" Mindy said smugly, dragging Trish into this ring comparison contest. "I mean, look at it! It's not as big as mine but-"
"Little Sister," Mark growled again. "That's enough."
Mindy blinked at him in surprise. "Why? What did I do?"
Glen quickly grabbed her by the arm and dragged her out of the room. "We're going now," he said to nobody in particular.
"I don't wanna go!" Mindy whined as she started trying to slip out of his grip. "I wanna know why Mark is marrying HER of all people."
"It's not our business Miranda," he said, only trying to keep his temper in check because he didn't like Michelle anymore than she did.
"Why not? I don't like her. Mark should marry Sara again. I liked her."
Glenn rolled his eyes. "It's not up to you to decide though. Besides, knowing his track record, they'll be divorced before we know it."
Mindy's face suddenly brightened. "Yeah," she agreed, giggling happily. "There's not nobody that can tame Mark! Nobody!"
"Dad, I love you a whole bunch. I really do. But this…come on, can't you let him go? You're better off without him."
James ignored Cooper's words and continued with his breaking into Mark's house plan. A couple of days of snooping and spying had allowed him to learn about Mark's plans to marry McSlut, which was where he was drawing the line. The unholy engagement needed to stop and it needed to be stopped fast. Lucky for him, he was always quick to come up with a plan. Sure it wasn't very well thought out and shit, but hey, it was a plan at least.
Connor giggled as James got the door opened. "Yay!" he cheered, walking in after James, dragging a reluctant Cooper in with him. "Go Daddy!"
James grinned and motioned to his kids to stay put and keep an eye out while he went upstairs and delivered his package. He had found a nice little blonde prostitute the previous night that had kindly died for him and let him cut out her heart and wrap it up real nice for Mark. He had tried to keep it beating even after it was out of her body but unfortunately, that hadn't exactly worked out for him. On the bright side though, he was more than sure that Mark would get the message he was trying to send. And if he doesn't, I'm sure cutting off Michelle's head and putting it on a platter will help him out, he thought cheerfully. He knew that he couldn't really do that without potentially putting himself and his boys in serious danger, but hey, a guy could dream couldn't he?