Note: I swear, I do not know where all these morbid scenarios come from, but if I don't write them down they play in my head like a broken record. Sucks. Inspired by Superior Race comic by Invader-Mandy on DA.

Dib stumbled, barely catching himself with his hands. For a moment, he stared at the icy ground, and considered the possibility that he might not want to get back up.

"Giving up already, Earth-monkey?" a familiar voice taunted. "It's only been a week. Are you so feeble already? I can go on for months like this."

Gritting his teeth, Dib forced himself back onto wobbly legs. "Two weeks."

"One week, two, three." Zim smirked. "It matters not to Zim. Zim doesn't need your pathetic foods and sleeps."

Frustrated, Dib growled, "If you're so great, why haven't you gotten us back to our time?" He tottered on stick-thin legs, slogging on.

Zim scowled. "Because I enjoy watching you languish away on this Irk-forsaken trip to nowhere."

Dib glared. He could barely formulate his words into an argument. "If you paid attention in History class, you'd know this goes somewhere. It just takes too long to get there." He put one foot forward. Dragged himself on. Put his other foot forward. Dragged himself on.

Smirking, Zim taunted, "I paid more attention than you think. I know most of the hyumans die on this trip from starvation. The ones that survive do so by feeding on their own kind. Truly a fitting commentary on how low your species will go. So tell me, how much longer will you keep walking without food? You'll have to give in and eat eventually." Zim licked his lips in exaggeration. "I believe there's a little of that horrible Jones woman left."

"You're sick, Zim." Dib snarled. "I'd never eat another human."

"Really? It's not like they killed her. She just never woke up."

"It doesn't matter!" Dib grimaced, clutching his middle. He didn't want to admit to the alien how desperate he was beginning to get. His mind scrambled to form coherent sentences to answer the alien with, and only came up with small words. The wind cut through his raggedy trench coat, slicing through the measly protection it offered. His leather boots had first acquired holes, then been torn apart and eaten by starving travelers as he slept. His bleeding feet were wrapped in strips of cloth he'd scrounged, but he knew that he'd already lost several toes to frostbite. It didn't matter. Once he got back to his own time, his father would replace his toes with prosthetics that worked like the real things.

If he got back…

"You know, it's your own fault we're here," Zim called. "If you hadn't been snooping around my base, I wouldn't have tackled you into the temporal displacement device."

"Which you just happened to have on, huh?" Dib grumbled. "Still trying the rubber piggies?"

"No, I thought the ducks might work, but all you did was play with them."

Dib wished for a rubber duck. He wished for a rubber pig. He wished for anything he could gnaw on. It wasn't just hunger pangs anymore. It was a dull, pervading need in his body. He knew the symptoms. His body was feeding on his own muscles to survive, and he'd never had that much to begin with. If he didn't find food soon, his body would begin to break down his last muscle, the heart.

"I'm not going to be able to assemble a new temporal displacement device until we get to civilization." Zim grumbled. "So I'm stuck with you pigsmellies. I hope you all die. Oh wait, most of you do. HAHAHA!"

"Why don't you just fly yourself there?" Dib shouted. "Just leave already!" He grimaced, feeling the loss of even that small bit of energy used for an outburst.

Zim scowled. "This stupid ice and cold froze my PAK. I can't use its functions since the holes are secured shut."

Dib smirked weakly. "So much for alien technology." Groaning, he dropped to his knees, wrapping his arms around his middle. His body shook from the bone-chilling cold and the insatiable hunger. He thought of burgers and pizza, and twice baked beans waiting for him at home. His mouth watered, and a trickle of drool worked its way out of his mouth. Wiping it with his sleeve, he glared at Zim again. If only he could turn Zim into a burger. That would be funny. A burger threatening to take over the world even as Dib…

He gaped. How did I not think of this before? I… I can end the threat to Earth… and survive! I'll only have one shot…

With a tired sigh, he dropped to the ground, face-first into the snow.

"Smelly?" Zim's boots clicked closer. "Earth-smelly?"

Dib didn't move.

"Pfff. Pathetic." A hand gripped his arm and rolled him over. Zim peered at him, grinning. "Dead in time, forever. Finally, I can conquer the Earth in pea—HEY!"

Dib gripped Zim's arm and yanked him down, shoving him to the ground. In a flash he was on top of the Invader, both hands wrapped around his throat. Zim clawed at his arms furiously, but Dib's grip was one of desperation. His mouth watered, leaking down his chin. Sudden comprehension dawned on Zim's face, and he gasped through choking breath, "You… wouldn't… eat… people!"

Dib's dulled eyes hardened. "I said I wouldn't eat a human." A faint grin tugged at his mouth. "You're not human."

Zim thrashed harder, but with his air supply cut off, his flailing grew weaker and weaker, until finally he lay limp. Dib didn't release his grip for several minutes. Finally, he let go. Zim didn't budge. His PAK didn't blink.

Another trickle of drool slipped down Dib's chin. He grabbed the alien's tunic and ripped at it. "Nothing personal, Zim." Dib grinned, a crazy expression on his face. "It's just survival."

Taking a deep breath, he sank his teeth into Zim's side, biting as hard as he could. He could feel a tooth crack against the Irken's tough hide, but he kept working at it, bit by bit. Blood began oozing from the wounds and, to his shock, Dib found it sweet. Automatically, he filed it away for future notes on Irkens. When he finally got past the skin, he began tearing away at the muscles inside, taking great mouthfuls and swallowing. He almost gagged. Irkens were sweet, almost sickly sweet, but he had to sustain himself. He continued his grisly feast, green running down his face like juice and smearing all over his glasses.

He heard a click and paused, but immediately resumed. His stomach clamored for more, and the rest of the party was at least a half mile ahead. No one was around, so he wouldn't be disturbed. He chewed through the squeedly spooch and swallowed the heart in a gulp. Ripping out another handful of muscle, he raised it to his mouth.

Something plunged into his back. Dropping the bit of meat, he fell forward over the corpse. Raising his hand to his back, he felt something smooth and round and hard. He frowned, trying to think what it could be, as his eyes fell on Zim's body.

The PAK was missing.

Horrified, Dib bolted up and clawed at his back as wires dug into his body. He fell to the ground, screaming in agony and writhing as he felt them wind around his spine, reach up and clamp onto the base of his brain. An electrical surge spread through his body and struck his brain, sending him spinning into blackness.

The last thing he heard was a stray thought, like a dark chuckle growing in volume until it enveloped his mind.

Nothing personal, Dib. It's just survival.