Title: Food For Thought

Author: Ratrace~!

Warnings: A lot of crack, a lot of swearing, a lot of laughs, and a lot of child-inappropriate-ness. A well-rounded story, I'd say.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Hetalia. Sometimes I like to pretend I do, but then reality comes around and smacks me in the face. Which is not pleasant.

The cookies didn't look that bad. Compared to England's usual concoctions, they looked pretty edible. He seemed pretty proud of himself, smiling and waving the platter around. It was a surprise he didn't burst into song.

"I thought I might as well make these for everyone, since I found a new recipe." He explained, placing the plate on the table before Canada. "Here, Canada, you take one."

Canada looked at the plate sceptically, then back up at his older brother, who smiled encouragingly. He knew that if he refused, England would be inconsolable for a week, probably moping around in his home library and cursing anything and everything. Canada couldn't imagine being the cause of his brother's sorrow- more importantly; he didn't like the thought of being cursed. A glance about the meeting room proved that everyone was watching, especially America, who sat to his left, and Prussia, on his right. The expressions on their faces were more daring him to eat one of the too-good-to-be-true biscuits, rather then of pity and concern like everyone else.

"Well, okay…" he said quietly, plucking the foremost cookie from the pile. He gave a look of 'here goes nothing' to everyone watching and a meek smile to England before taking a bite.

Everyone held their breath, half expecting the Canadian to keel over with a dying squeal, or fall into a coma. Or something.

But instead, he looked up, and said, "They're good, England!"

"Really?" the Englishman exclaimed, a little too surprised.

"Lemme try that." Prussia snagged a cookie himself, jamming in his mouth. Beside him, Germany rolled his eyes, evidently disgusted by his brother's horrific table manners. The Prussian gave a laugh as he dragged the plate so it sat infront of Germany. "Eat one."

Soon, the plate was passed around the entire group, everyone trying one of these miracle cookies for them selves. Soon the plate found its way to America, who glared.

"I'm not hungry." The American protested, pushing the last cookie away from him, a sneer on his face.

"Of course you are," England snapped, pushing the plate back, "you're always hungry."

"I'm. Not. Hungry." America restated, childishly pouting with an unwavering glare to the plate.

"Come on America, don't be rude." Canada insisted. "It's just one cookie. It won't kill you."

"You wait five hours," America cried, pointing menacingly at his twin, "then you'll see! You'll all be dead from food poisoning. Just you wait!"

"Don't be such a child! It's a bloody biscuit!" England said, gesturing to the plate in a rageful manner.

"Hey, if he doesn't want it, Awesome Me'll take it." Prussia said, trying to reach around Canada to get the cookie, but England swatted his hand away.

"You will eat it," England said, waving the cookie under America's nose threateningly. "You will eat it, and like it!"

America clamped his mouth shut in defiance, so England took to batting him over the head with the baked good.


"EVERYONE ELSE WILL BE DEAD BY THE END OF TODAY!" The American proclaimed, leaping out of his seat and making abreak for the door whilest brushing cookie crumbs off of his head. "YOU'LL ALL BE STONE DEAD. THEN WE'LL SEE WHO'S LAUGHING."

And with a slam of the door, he was gone. Once again the room was immersed in silence, England standing dejectedly infront of America's toppled seat, the cookie still in his hand, hanging limply at his side.

"Soooooo," Prussia leaned forward, once again trying to get the cookie, when Kumajirou jumped out from under the table, snapping the cooking out of England's hand. The bear turned to face the albino, an evil gleam in his eyes as he swallowed the cookie whole. Prussia jumped up, crying, "YOU LITTLE-" and leapt over the table, pushing England aside as he began to chase the polar bear around the room. Canada, sure that Prussia was going to kill his pet, ran after them as they dashed outside the meeting room, exciting dramatically with a cry of "KUMAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaa-"

Germany sighed, and said, "Let's call this meeting dissmissed," before going after his brother, running after he had exited the room, yelling something that didn't sound too friendly in German.

A/N: Hey guys! Kat here, thank you for reading! This one has sorta been a plot bunny floating about in myhead for the past... Long time. lol.

Anyways, i swear it's going to get more interesting as it goes- think everyone turns into Batman, or something xDD The summary probably summed that up better then I am now, haha.

Anyhoo, thanks again! Reveiws are love ~

-Kat c: