A/N: Just… read.

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DEATHmatch

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Disclaimer: Blackest Night was AWESOME! That said, I own none of these characters, and am not making any money off them.

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"NEKRON! I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU!"

The self-proclaimed universe's anthropomorphic immune response to life twitched a rotting eyebrow as he turned from where he was overseeing the day-to-day paperwork of making sure the dead went to where they were supposed to. Being a glorified cosmic intersection had been one of the reasons he'd gone through with that "kill all life" plan. You get very loopy ideas working on a mind-numbing desk-job since the dawn of life.

Death of the Endless of the endless stomped towards him, her nice, high-heeled boots clomping down on nothing in particular but making a very satisfying ringing sound, pale face set in a highly annoyed yet still cute mask. She was stomping so hard her top-hat was nearly falling off. Behind her, Discworld's Death was stalking after her hurriedly, his longer legs stalking wide to keep up and failing miserably.

Death stomped to a stop and pointed a nicely manicured finger at Nekron. "What's the big idea trying to put me out of a job, buddy?" she said, scowling at him. That, too, was cute.

Death finally caught up with made a show of panting to a stop, bent over, hand on one knee, the other using his scythe for balance. YES, REALLY, he said. ALL A BIT MUCH, DON'T YOU THINK? IT'S NOT LIKE THEY'LL BE AROUND FOR MUCH LONGER. A FEW DOZEN BILLION YEARS MORE, AND YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW THEY WERE EVER THERE.

"That's wasn't the point," Nekron growled. "I wanted them gone now!"

"Well, tough," Death said. "This isn't about that! A little extra work, I can handle. It comes with this crazy universe now that Geoff Johns is running it. You claiming to be me, however… that's going too far! I told you when I let you come on you were a subcontractor for doing the post-mortem stuff! The mortem, me!" She pointed at herself. "You've gone too far! There's only one way to settle this: in traditional comic-book manner, Nekron, I challenge you to a fight to beat the crap out of you!"

Nekron sneered. "Bring it, bitch."

Death put a bony hand over his eyes. CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?

"NO!"

SIGH

SQUEAK.

...

Death and Nekron faced each other, Death reluctantly standing in the middle. READY? he said, raising one hand in signal.

Death nodded. Nekron twirled his scythe with the power battery on it and also nodded.

BEGIN!

Death raised a hand, a little yellow triangle on it. "BARDICHE ASSAULT, SET UP!"

...

"Bardiche?" Fate called out, looking under the bed. "Where did you get off to?"

"Oh, come back to bed, Fate," Vita said.

"Yeah," Alisa agreed, patting the empty if slightly moist space between the two of them. "We're lonely without you…"

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- CRACK!

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A/N: two people named Death in the same story, in the same scenes. Talk about hard to write. Thank goodness for pronouns and distinct speaking styles.

A crazy idea brought up by thinking of Gaiman!Death, MGLNanoha, Discworld and Blackest Night in close proximity to each other.

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.