This story IS yaoi or slash or a male/male relationship (however you put it). And, while this story is in Alexandra's point of view (a made up character – this is NOT a Mary Sue) it WILL be a Harry/Draco pairing.

I BARELY read Harry Potter fanfiction and if I do it's all H/D, and I haven't come across a plot similar to this one as of yet. But there are TONS of stories about HP out there, and if this is similar to ANY of those I SWEAR I didn't steal it and I'm VERY sorry. Also, I'm American, so… slang and stuff will be American… because you guys will think I'm a freak if I use Japanese… Uh… *Watches people staring at her like she's a freak.* SEE! I was right! … Sorry.

Shades Of Gray

By: princessofplanets

Rating: PG-13

Parts: 1/9


Harry stared out the window, not really listening to two of his friends babble. "Stop thinking that way," his third friend commented, a solemn golden haired girl whose ocean blue eyes were intense. Alexandra continued, "I know your thinking about him, but his death wasn't your fault, Harry." She was silent. "If blame could be placed on anyone it would be me," she said scornfully. "I managed to keep Cedric alive for an extra thirty minutes; I wish I had enough power to keep him alive for life. If it's anyone's fault it's mine."

"Don't use a double standard!" the raven-haired fifteen-year-old protested. His emerald eyes flashed, and Alexandra couldn't keep her eyes from wandering up to his lightening shaped scar. The girl smiled slightly.

"Don't worry," she assured him. "I don't."

"Talking about Cedric?" Hermione, a girl with bushy brown hair and brown eyes, inquired gently.

Alexandra heaved a sigh. "Yes. We're keeping ourselves from depression and self guilt."

"How many times do we have to tell you that Cedric's death wasn't your fault?" Ron asked exasperatedly. He sighed, getting lost in his own memory. "You guys did all you could. NO ONE blames you."

Without warning the door to the train slammed open. A slender teenager with silvery blonde hair and unique silver eyes stepped in. "Malfoy!" Ron hissed in anger. Alexandra nodded politely to the group's declared worst enemy.

"Go away, Malfoy," Harry said listlessly, staring out at the passing landscape once again. Alexandra frowned again in worry, glancing at her friend before shooting a quick look up at Draco again. She caught him looking longingly at the raven-haired boy. She stood carefully, brushing off her skirt as she started to escort the silver-eyed classmate out the door. She followed him, closing the door softly behind her.

"It's nice to see you again, Draco," Alexandra commented, smiling at her friend. "How was your summer?"

"Normal," the fifteen-year-old replied glumly. "Disappointed Father, was beaten… You?"

"Are you okay?" the blonde asked with concern.

"I'll be fine. At least he hasn't given me the Dark Mark yet, though I'll bet you anything that'll be coming soon." He sighed. "Damn it, Alex, I asked you a question! How are you taking Diggory's death?"

"Fine, I suppose, comparatively." She glanced back toward the train compartment her friends were in, worry etched across her features. "I won't lie to you, Draco, he's really bad. Harry's still acting like it's his fault, even though I think he knows there was nothing he could've done. You know…" Alexandra hesitated here, glancing at the young man before her before continuing in a low voice, "It might help him, knowing that he has someone who loves him supporting him…."

"Alex…" Draco sighed again. "You KNOW I can't… We don't even know whether or not he's gay!"

"I think if he goes that way at all he'd be bi," the blonde stated frankly, pushing a strand of her golden hair back across her shoulder. "And I personally think he is."

"How would you know that?" Draco grumbled slightly, glancing up and down the empty corridor. Noticing where they were for the first time, he dragged her into an empty compartment. Alexandra tapped her temple.

"I'm a psychic, remember? I can sense things about people – even if I'm not looking for it, unfortunately. Besides, he's never had a girlfriend OR a boyfriend… it's almost like he can't make up his mind, don't you think?"

"Neither has Ron or Hermione – or you, for that matter!"

"Ron and Hermione are crazy over each other, even if they haven't admitted it yet," Alexandra explained. "And as for me, well…" She bit her lip. How could she tell one of her best friends they were in love with the same person? "I'm saving myself for someone special," she said softly.

"Alex, I just don't want to get my hopes up just to be disappointed," Draco whispered. "There's a reason I put up a cold front."

"How do you think *I * feel?" Alexandra asked softly. "I'm not even HUMAN, Draco! I'm just some creation from a cauldron of the most evil person on the planet!" Tears sparkled in her blue eyes before she blinked them away furiously. She started again in a low tone, her composure regained. "Look, I'll talk to you after dinner, when we get to Hogwarts, okay? Everyone has to be worried that I haven't come back yet, and I still have to change into my robes."

Draco's intense silver eyes bore into her, but she ignored them. The blonde left the compartment, heading toward the one she was usually in. As she slid open the door, she was assaulted with questions.

"What took you so long?"

"Yeah, was Malfoy being a pain in the butt?"

"Malfoy was being Malfoy," Alexandra said quickly, careful to use her friend's last name. He WAS being his normal self, she thought defensively, trying to push down the guilt raising in her throat. Just… Not what they know his normal self to be. "Come on, guys, we should get into our robes. We'll be getting to Hogwarts soon." She looked away from Harry and Ron's gaze as they left the room to find an empty compartment to change in after they dug their robes out of their trunks.

"Alex, WHAT was that about?" Hermione asked with concern. Her friend was staring as if frozen at the door. The blonde shook her head lightly.

She smiled at her friend, pulling her robe on over her head and pulling off her muggle clothes from underneath them. "Sorry," she murmured. She shoved her clothes into her trunk and sat back, relaxing against the seat. She took Harry's spot and stared out the window.

* * * DREAM * * *

The overwhelming premonitions of danger attached to the trophy. Teleporting immediately to Harry's side, just in time to grab his sleeve as the Portkey yanked them to dangers unknown.

* Run. Breathe. * Heh… heh… heh… Dodge between the gravestones, holding your breath when they exploded under the force of the Avada Kedavra spell. Leave Cedric's dead body, only to feel another's used to shove her to the ground. Tears running down her face and blurring her vision.

* "We've got to split up!" * Harry's voice yelled in her head. He shoved her in one direction before taking off in the other. * "And don't you DARE come with me, Alex!" *

* NO! * her mind screamed. Taking no heed to it she ran in the direction she had been pushed, collapsing as power swept over the area and engulfed her body in chaos like that of a tsunami. Alex struggled to ride the waves of the energy as bright flashes of light indicated a battle occurring.

* Harry… * The realization that her best friend was the one fighting those battles hit her hard. * "No… Harry, NO!" * A vision struck her, slowing her down as she saw her friend raising into the air… with Voldemort, her creator… Spells from their wands clashing, melding together…. * What would happen if I broke that web? *

She could see it clearly in her mind, beautiful, shining golden threads connecting the two wands and creating the binding dome. But when she reached the spot the battle was taking place the dome had disappeared, though there was several shadowy, ghostly figures surrounding Voldemort and hid Death Eaters. The victims disappeared a moment later, and Voldemort aimed at Harry, who was struggling to drag Cedric's body to the Portkey. Before her eyes he called it – * "Accio!" *- and just as he reached out to catch it she latched her hand to his sleeve and Voldemort's scream of fury echoed in their minds as they were hurled back to Hogwarts.

* * *

Harry was panting next to her; both of them were sprawled out beside Cedric's cold body. The black-haired fourteen-year-old sent up red sparks weakly, trying uselessly to regain his breath.

* "I should heal you." * The stubborn boy shook his head.

* "Cedric. Help him." *

She swallowed. Tears once again burned in her eyes as she nodded tersely. * I can't do it! * her head screamed. Still, she shook away her doubts and gently turned the other boy's body over, placing her hands firmly on his chest and forcing herself through the thin barrier between life and death.

The deafening wind nearly drowned out the pained screams of the dead. Souls brushed up against her, causing her to shiver and the coldness of the wind to seep into her bones. She carefully searched the faces of the new-dead, those closest to the barrier and to Life. She soon found Cedric, leading him toward the wall of light in the world of dark. Weariness engulfed her. She shoved him on as other souls started attacking her.

*"GO ON!" * she screamed at the Hufflepuff boy as she started battling the Dead. * "DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME! JUST OPEN YOUR EYES!" * As she battled the spirits she opened her external eyes. Cedric was staring at her in concern, feeling her pour her energy into his body.

Dumbledore, Mr. and Mrs. Diggory, the teachers, and Cho Chang were the first people in front of a crowd. * "Don't come too much closer," * she had warned hoarsely, her voice sore from screaming. She was still fighting with the Dead at the border of Life, and she also still had both of her cold hands on Cedric's now bare chest and draining her life into him. She sensed Cho's jealously at her touching them and she added, * "If you separate us now we'll both die." *

Cedric had stared at her steadily for a moment, noting her pale face lightly beaded with sweat before calling his parents closer. In a calm and soft voice he told them everything, causing tears to run down all of their faces. He finished with words Alex could never forget: * "Mom, Dad, Alexandra is killing herself to keep me alive. It… I really believe that it is my time to go. Let's not allow her to die with me, ok?" *

Suddenly Alex felt like she was leaving her body, to see the scene embedded in her mind – Cedric Diggory's death – from a third person's point of view. Then the familiar scene faded away into a far more familiar and horrifying face. With tight, drawn skin whiter than a skull with wide scarlet eyes and a nose that was flat and slit like a snake's, Lord Voldemort's face was certainly not a kind one.

* "Alexandra…" * his cruel, cold voice whispered in her head. * "The end is coming, Alexandra… I am far more powerful than even your 'Professor Dumbledore'… It is time you choose your side, Alexandra… Come to me! I am the one who gave you life, who gave you power… Come to me, my little… 'Alex'…" *

* * * END DREAM * * *

Alex woke with a start, her chest heaving with each ragged intake of breath and her forehead burning. She caught the faint golden glow of the star on her forehead reflecting off the glass of one of her roommates' mirrors, and she quickly focused so it would disappear again. Fear and adrenaline still coursed through her veins, and as she quieted her breathing she could still hear the party going on downstairs. The new first-years had been sorted, the feast was over, and the end-of-summer celebrations had only begun when the blonde had retired to bed. She checked her watch, noting that even once midnight had struck the fun hadn't stopped.

She shivered again, and crept out from underneath her thick covers, going downstairs despite her rumpled appearance. The blonde rubbed her temples with cold fingers as she stepped into the noisy common room. "Well, well, well, if it isn't Alexandra Star!" a familiar voice exclaimed while a large clapped her on her back. "And in her pajamas no less! You've changed so much over the summer, Alex?"

The blue-eyed girl blinked in confusion as red hair and freckles swam in front of her blurry eyes. "Fred?" she inquired in confusion.

"Yep!" he responded loudly as George came up and swooped her into a hug.

"Alex's in her pj's!" he cried out with delight. "I've waited SO long for this day!"


"Alex, you woke up!" Hermione called from across the Common room.

"Fred and George flew the car out here. Isn't that cool?!" Ron added.

Suddenly what the twin redheads said sunk in. She automatically looked down at her tank top with "Angel Baby" written on it and her silky stars-and-moons pants. She laughed to herself, comparing herself to the person her friends knew – a girl who NEVER showed off her body and extra careful to be dressed appropriately in her pajamas in front of the whole house. Alex sighed to herself and shrugged.

"You look tired," Harry commented as she walked over to where the trio was sitting.

"Mmm," she agreed. She collapsed into an empty chair and stared into the fire. Tremors raced through her body yet again and she scooted closer to the fire.

Rise, she ordered silently, her eyes closed and focusing on the flame. It expanded rapidly, cackling and giving off more heat. Alex forced her tense body to relax in the warmth, trying desperately to ignore the thoughts that led her back to her dreams.

The blonde barely registered the talking occurring around her, though she smiled and accepted a hairbrush Hermione offered her gratefully. With slow, mechanical strokes she brushed her hair until it was smooth and glittering in the firelight.

After a time she stopped, handing the brush back silently. Her thoughts absorbed her and she stood without warning. Harry looked up in confusion as she stormed out of the common room. She had interrupted him, something she never did for her worst enemies, let alone her best friends. "Where's she going?"


I would like you to review/give me suggestions, but I'm not going to ask for a certain number to post or anything. (I don't really like that, I must admit.) However, since I am in 8th grade and moving on to high school soon, as well as applying for boarding schools – I live in the country, my closest neighbor is my horse, and I want more opportunities than my local high school can give me – though I HAVE to get a scholarship, so I have TONS of applications to fill out – I have a VERY busy schedule. So, if you want this fic or others to be 'top priority' I need at least ONE person (is that asking for a lot? ONE person throughout this whole fic) to want me to write more. I will be posting regardless, but it will take a LOT longer if no one comments at all. EVEN IF IT IS A FLAME! So, I would really appreciate it if you reviewed. But, as always, that's a choice.