Summary: What happens when Jim is extremely bored. Academy fic.

Characters: Jim, Pike and mentions of McCoy. No pairings, sorry!

I'm so sorry if my writing skills are not up to par, I have yet to find me a beta reader. Please don't hate me! And no flames!

Warning: This is humor, but it has somber undertones. Jim has a bit of a potty mouth

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING (with the exception of the laptop with which I typed this on)


A violent explosion followed by several terrified shrieks shook through the Academy's hangar where all the shuttlecrafts are kept.

That day, cadets were suppose to board the shuttlecrafts to participate in some of the training cruises and were being debriefed by their instructors when said explosion interrupted everything.

Heads turned to the source of the commotion only to find the one and only James T. Kirk being led by the collar of his Starfleet red by his instructor, who looks more than ready to strangle the young man if only the federation law would allow it.

Silence befell the people as they watched the spectacle of Jim twisting and turning at odd angles trying to escape his instructor. His attempts proved to be futile seeing as several security personnel stepped up to help restrain him. It would have been hilarious if the situation wasn't that serious.

"I swear to god, it wasn't just my fault!" was all they heard from the cadet before he was manhandled towards the exit.

Once it was sure that he was out of the hangar, an engineer officer made an announcement to cancel all training cruises in favor of closing the hangar for a few days so that they may reassess the damages done. Apparently, cadet Kirk had managed to blow up one of shuttlecrafts and damaged another two more near its vicinity.

Five hours, three damage reports, a screaming fest from the admirals, one visit to the medical facilities, another screaming fest from Bones and one request for cadet suspension later…

"What the hell were you thinking!" yelled captain Pike, he was pacing back and forth in his office reprimanding a now sulking Jim sitting in front of him.

Jim just shrugged his shoulders looking at the floor, refusing to look Pike in the eyes.

Pike let out an audible sigh and said "You know for a genius, you get yourself in some pretty idiotic situation. Now, will you tell me why and how did you demolish that poor, unsuspecting shuttlecraft? I heard there was barely anything left of it besides a few scraps of metal."

A small mischievous smile adorned Jim's face at the memory of the explosion, Pike raised an eyebrow at this "what? You find this amusing Jim?"

Jim shook his head no but the smile still remained. "No sir, my instructor was ..."

"Come again cadet? I didn't quite hear that last part"

Jim finally relented and looked him in the eye "I said, no sir, my instructor was debriefing us on standard protocol, safety procedures and the purpose of our assignment, all of which I am more than familiar. I see no relevance in their insistence of reiterating instructions they have already covered not a mere two days ago."

Pike can only blink in surprise "Jim, not all cadets are in the same level as you, they don't possess an eidetic memor—whoa, whoa wait, back up, are you trying to tell me that you blew up that craft because you were bored?"

The smile returned "well that wasn't exactly the plan but that's what pretty much happened."

"Jim…" Pike lowered his head and brought both his hands up to his temple trying and failing to suppress the oncoming migraine. "the repairs will cost millions of credits, not to mention that we have to postpone training cruises for the duration of the repairs. Your recklessness and negligence is going to cost us money and a delay in our schedule."

Then Pike realized that Jim didn't answer his other question "wait, how did the craft explode anyways?" he asked, already fearing the answer.

"Phaser"

Pike was confused "A phaser blast is not enough to cause a shuttlecraft to explode"

For once, Jim looked a bit sheepish. He was scratching the back of his neck as an obvious sign of nervousness "Well, not a simple blast but…"

Pike's eyes widen as realization hit him "That was an overloading phaser wasn't it?"

A nod of the head was the only confirmation he needed.

"Jim! How can you be so stupid? There were people around you! What would you have done if you or anyone of them got hurt, which luckily they didn't, and how did you even manage to get a hold of a phaser-."

"Hey! I said it wasn't entirely my fault! Yes, I took the phaser from the artillery department's armory before I went to the hangar but that's only because I was planning on trying to recalibrate the damn thing. It's to make it so that instead of emitting only bolts of energy, the gun would generate steady streams of energy. If you don't believe me, I have some blueprints but they're in my dorm." Jim huffed in annoyance, crossed his arms and pouted in a 'manly way.'

Pike have to give it to Jim, his idea was impressive, unfortunately, it still doesn't explain the destroyed shuttlecraft, "Jim, you do realize cadets don't have access to the armory right?"

He only got a raised eyebrow and an exasperated look that says 'So? What's your point?'

Pike sighed a second time since the start of their conversation, how does McCoy deal with all this shit? He thought. "Alright then, so what happened next?"

"Well, like I said, the instructor was literally boring me to death. So I discreetly pulled the phaser out, I was at the back of the line so I thought no one will notice, I started examining the thing right? To you know, familiarize myself with the structure of the gun."

Pike urged him to go on.

Jim only glared "Okay, so anyways, I carefully disengaged the power system's safety lock. I know, I know, it was dangerous, but I was only gonna do it for a few seconds so that the energy won't backfire from the prefire chamber to the power cells. But, a couple of asshats from my class must've seen what I was doing cause they grab the thing before I can affix the safeties back."

Jim was starting to sound near hysterical as he rushed through his explanation and gestured wildly with his hands "so, the idiots thought it would be a f-u-u-cking brilliant idea to play hot potato with a goddamn overloading phaser! I tried catching the thing; we created quite a ruckus cause our instructor was making his way towards us, when the two fucktards noticed, they gave me back the phaser but it was already too late."

Jim took a deep breath before continuining "Then, I noticed that the sliding panel of the shuttlecraft we were suppose to board was open, so I had to make a split second decision. Either I risk getting all of us blown up in the face or I risk destroying the craft by putting the gun inside the enclosed space to mitigate the intensity of the explosion, which is what I did. At first, I thought it was kinda funny and somehow messed up in a way, but that was only because I was partially mesmerized by the explosion" Jim admitted in a defeated voice.

Pike looked at Jim like he started growing extra limbs right before his eyes "You thought it was funny?"

Jim ducked his head but replied nonetheless "yeah but hey at least I sobered up once the rush of adrenaline ebbed and my instructor started to kindly escort me out the hangar."

Now it was Pike's turn to get hysterical "Jim! Do you realize how lucky you are that the admiralty is only considering your pending suspension? If you were any other cadet you would've been expelled by now. Honestly, you invite enough trouble to last us all a lifetime, and it's only been a year and a half since I recruited you!"

Jim laughed somewhat bitterly "If I was any other cadet? Yeah…they're probably just keeping the screw-up around cause they feel indebted to his dead, heroic father."

Chris' gaze softens at the young man in front of him, and then proceeded to sit down on the next chair available "Jim, look at me" when sparkling blue eyes met him he continued "you know that's not what I mean right? Believe it or not, we're not actually keeping you here because of your father. Much to their annoyance, the admiralty knows you'll be a great asset to Starfleet one day. They may not like your cocky and 'know-it-all' attitude, but they can't really do anything about it because your intelligence and skills are more than capable of backing up your claims."

This earned him a genuine smile from Jim, then said man just had to ruin it by saying "Why captain, did you just complimented me? But yes, of course you're right, I'm just that awesome huh?"

Pike face palmed "Yes Jim, I agree, you are that awesome; but can you at least try to be serious for once? I'm counting on you and I don't want to see you ruin your chance just because you have all the symptoms of a person with ADHD."

Jim looked indignant "Did you just crack a joke? Cause I thought we were being serious here for a moment. ADHD my ass! As if I haven't been hearing enough of that from Bones and now, you too?"

They stared at each other for a minute before bursting out in fits of laughter, "Hey Pike, remember admiral Komack when he was yelling at me earlier? He was sputtering in gibberish and he looked like an over inflated balloon just about ready to fuckin' burst! Even the other admirals looked worried."

They laughed even harder at the memory, but Pike knew it was probably a bad idea to laugh at a superior officer who can demote you to ensign rank with a snap of a finger.

When they finally got their bearings together, Pike looked at Jim once more and asked "Can you at least promise me you'll behave after this incident?"

Jim looked contemplative "well, I'll try but I can't guarantee anything."

Pike sighed for the third time "Jim, you're a student, a cadet. What you should be doing is cramming for exams, worrying, or studying really hard. You know, act like a normal student. You can't afford to be eccentric right now; you don't have any authority yet. Trust me on this, once you become a captain or commodore or admiral, then you can be as outlandish as much as you want."

Jim seems to consider this then stood up and headed to the door. But before he left he turned around once last time, a smile gracing his face "Old man, you should know better than to expect anything pertaining to my existence will be within parameters of what most would consider the norm."

Pike rolled his eyes and can't help but silently agree. Then a horrified look crossed his face as he finally registered what Jim had called him a moment ago.

"Hey! I am not that old!" he yelled after the slightly ajar door.

The sound of whistling down the corridor was the only reply he got for his efforts.

FIN.


Gah! I'm done! Please tell me what you think. Do you like it or not?