Ranma 1/2 was created by Rumiko Takahashi and Sailor Moon by Naoko Takeuchi. The rights to these series belong, as far as I know, to them and whomever they have sold/given their rights to. I am not one of them. I'm not writing this for any profit or compensation with monetary value.

"To see Nerima and die. Preferably later and somewhere else."

Makoto Kino, a 14-year-old pupil was standing in a train waiting for the arrival in Nerima. Her school, Juuban Junior High, was closed and under repair after the youma attack yesterday.

The four Sailor Scouts-Sailor Mars hadn't managed to get there in time-had wiped the blackboard youma by first scrubbing it clean of the offending mathematics Ms. Haruna had tried to teach them. Mercury seemed a bit unhappy to have a part in destroying implements of academics, though.

Right now, each of the four Scouts were spending their day off differently. Case in point: Makoto. She was still more or less stuck on her old senpai, whom she fondly remembered. Except that she didn't remember his name. And she never learned where he lived, either. But she did remember he was a martial artist, and with the current way of things all things martial arts, martial artists included, gravitated towards Nerima. If there was a chance she'd find him somewhere, it'd be Nerima.

She saw him first three schools back. He had been going to another school in the neighborhood, but had spent his time practicing his Art in the nearby park. Even if she hadn't dared to ask him out on a date, his influence in her life was quite pronounced.

The announcement from the train speakers interrupted Makoto's train of thought. "Next stop: Nerima. Next stop: Nerima." Makoto blinked as the shutters on the train windows closed. They had shutters? And were they made of steel?

The train came to a halt. Most of the other travellers moved away from the train doors, leaving Makoto standing alone. As soon as she had stepped out of the train car, the train had already closed its doors and was swiftly moving away from the permanent hazard zone.

As she walked out of the station, the people she passed handed out to her several adverts and packs of ad tissues. "Premium Life Insurances", "Nerima Funeral Services", "You Name'Em, We Sue'Em!", "If it ain't in shambles yet, it will be soon. Call Nerima Construction Crew!" and all of that sort to name just a few.

Maybe this all was just an artificial image, created to attract even more martial artists and keep the rest away? Makoto gave this thought a mental shrug. That didn't matter her right now.

Makoto had been walking around Nerima for a while and felt unnerved by what she had seen. The roads had more holes in the asphalt than anywhere else she'd been and the windows had been either boarded shut or wide open as if they were in the danger of breaking. Sure, she had heard the rumours, but she didn't expect a fraction of them to be true.

Even so, people walked on the streets casually like there was nothing out of the ordinary going on. Well, actually there wasn't, but the people seemed to practically ignore that the place looked something closer to a warzone or a shopping mall after 75 percent discount on clothes.

She noticed that she had wandered into the vicinity of a local highschool. The nameplate, barely hanging onto the gate, said "Furinkan High". The loud sounds of fighting inside the school yard intrigued her. Was this a commonplace event here? If she kept fighting, she'd probably end up here or another school comparable to it. And with her current nightjob as Sailor Jupiter that would be a very bad thing.

She peeked around the gate, her brown ponytail dangling to settle down on her shoulder. Inside she saw a girl with short, dark blue hair punch a bokken-wielding boy, who was sent headfirst at the fence bordering the schoolyard. The girl must have had some martial arts training - no normal person could produce that red aura. Or punch that hard, either. Makoto frowned. Was she a youma? She didn't look like a youma they had seen before - tall with an uncommon skin complexion and form-hugging clothing - and not even that school uniform could hide the two characteristics.

Well, if not a youma per se, then maybe she was possessed? These ponderings were soon to be a moot point, though, because before she could do one thing or the other, she saw him.

Her senpai.

The Scouts met again the following day at Hikawa Shrine. Their largest topic was excess damage to public property, a topic that would've probably been even more acute if Rei had been there in their last fight. The second largest one was the new ice cream flavours Crown Arcade was selling and when they should sample them. And third was exactly why was Makoto spacing out so much today with that wistful smile on her face?

"Makoto? Makoto? Makoto!" Minako was beginning to feel frustrated when Makoto was all too deep in her la-la land. She frowned and to finally get her attention, she pushed Makoto's arm that was supporting her chin sideways, making the girl in question nearly hit the tabletop with her head.

"What's the big idea?"

"You tell me, you're the one looking like Usagi when she thinks of food."

"Am I that bad?" Usagi whispered her question to Ami.

"Yes," was Rei's curt and unasked answer.

Makoto let out a long, soft sigh. "I found my senpai."

The other Scouts stared at Makoto. They didn't hear the words "looked like".

"You did? When? Where? How?" Minako practically pounced on her. These matters belonged, without question and without any limitation, to the domain of Sailor Venus. And she'd never live it down if Makoto got a steady boyfriend before she did.

"I took a train to Nerima yesterday."

"Nerima? Why would you find him there of all places?" Rei wondered aloud. As ludicrous as the idea of teenagers throwing ki blasts was to her, she believed there was at least some small amount of truth in all the stories she had heard of the place. Enough to make her want to keep away from there untransformed. Although that would just be likely to attract the lingerie-stealing demon the stories also told about.

"He's a martial artist." The answer that explained all.

"Oh," the rest of the team chorused.

Minako, not willing to let the discussion the slightest chance to derail from the important topic - Makoto's most likely very hunky senpai - to less important ones, such as Nerima and martial arts, asked Makoto, "When can we see him?"

It was the following Saturday. The construction crew from Nerima had worked fast with the Juuban Junior High and had finished the repairs in only one day. Unfortunately, the quality of their work was shoddy at best. On the other hand, could one blame them? They were so accustomed to having their handiwork destroyed before anyone could even begin to complain of the poor quality of their work. Especially since if and when the walls collapsed, it was always given that the reason to that was the ki-enforced appendage, be it a foot, a fist or a finger, and not the makeshift masonry.

Who knows - maybe the Scouts could get the Juuban reconstruction business to do better job than their counterparts in Nerima. On the other hand, when the decision makers picked the company to do it, all too often the cheapest - and often also the shoddiest - offer would win the contract.

Still, the main point was that the newly rebuilt classroom wall didn't hold up but collapsed halfway through the third lesson, which meant another free afternoon for the pupils. And a good opportunity for Makoto to get to Nerima and actually talk with her senpai. Last time she had lost her nerve and ran back to the train station, where she was again handed various ads, except this time the services advertised were along the lines of spiritual exorcism and psychiatric counseling.

The school bells of Furinkan High chimed for the last time that day. Ranma and Akane's class slowly poured out of the classroom. Akane had woken up Ranma when the class ended and the two were now well on their way to the Tendo home. Ukyo had to speak with a few other students about their school project, but soon enough she was running after Ranma to talk about the upcoming school culture festival and her plan to get him work with her on it.

Ranma was walking before Akane, leisurely swinging his bag in a way that one of the school cheerleaders might've noticed to resemble no small amount their choreography. Even if he had won against Mariko Konjo, it didn't mean that he should forget what Martial Arts Cheerleading had taught him. He still half expected to face the masters of martial arts lawn mowing any time now. As he was lost in his thoughts of cheerleaders following a lawnmowing battle, Ukyo had already run up to Akane.

"Mind if I talk a bit with Ranchan, sugah?" Ukyo asked her.

Akane was going to answer the question when she noticed that Ranma had stopped walking. In front of him was a tall, very tall junior high girl in a brown and grey fuku, obviously not one from the neighborhood. And in her eyes was that lovestruck gaze only Ranma might take as something else.

"Senpai!"

But even he couldn't mistake that tone of voice, having heard that from a few too many sources a few times too many.

Akane didn't like the sound of that. She didn't call him fianc, which meant she probably wasn't arranged by his father. She was preparing a list of questions when the girl walked at Ranma... past him... and stopped with a faint blush on her face in front of Ukyo.

"Makoto?" Ukyo asked.

Akane turned to face Ukyo, who apparently knew who this girl was. Then another look at the girl. Yes, she was looking at Ukyo and not Ranma.

"Ucchan, is this another Tsubasa?" Ranma asked, now that he had noticed the target on Cupid's practice range for once wasn't him.

The lid on the mailbox nearby opened and inside peeked the head of one peeved Tsubasa. "I told you, Ranma, I'm a guy! And she's a girl!"

Ranma squinted his eyes to look for an Adam's apple on the newcomer but failed to find one. "Well, for her age she's tall enough to be a guy anyway," was his reply.

For that comment, he had to ward off the glares of evil from the three women present.

Makoto, Ukyo and Ranma had left Tsubasa alone and Akane had to leave to the Tendo house. The three made their way to the Ucchan's mostly talking about things of no great importance and some blushing on Makoto's side. Once the three reached the restaurant, Ukyo changed to her work outfit. When she came out from the back room...

Makoto's mouth hung open. She reached out. Poke, poke. Squish, squish.

"Do you mind?" Ukyo wouldn't have minded if those were Ranchan's hands in either of his forms, but they were Makoto's instead.

Realizing just what she had done, Makoto pulled back her hands as if she had burned them. In the seat beside her Ranma snickered - that was what he had to go through when he first came to the Tendo home.

"Senpai, you're a girl!" Makoto cried out, nearly in tears. She had taken up cooking because it was necessary for her senpai's Art. She had put her hair in a ponytail because her senpai had it like that. And she had a big crush on him - except that he was really a she. "Why?"

Ukyo sighed. She knew Makoto as an overenthusiastic girl who was nice to be with - even if her cooking had been pretty awful to start - from her days in the all-boys school. In hindsight, she should've recognized the signs of a crush back then.

"My father put me on the clan records as a boy," Ukyo began her tale. It took a while, but in the end, with Ranma's various offhand comments every now and then, she had finished her tale of how she and Ranma met, the stolen dowry and what happened then.

Makoto was not happy. Her friends expected her to show her senpai, but how could she show them a girl? Then it hit her. Her sen- Ukyo had been swindled and one of the guilty party was sitting right next to her. If it weren't for him, Ukyo wouldn't have dressed as a boy and she wouldn't have mistaken her for one.

"You're a good martial artist?" she asked Ranma.

"Hah, I'm the best," came the automatic, cocky answer. Makoto turned to Ukyo.

"Yep," Ukyo agreed with Makoto's original question and at the same time tried to stroke Ranma's ego and score a few extra points.

"Good. Ranma Saotome! For cheating me of my senpai, I demand that you are my senpai for the rest of this day!" She emphasized the seriousness of the demand by taking a pose, resting her other hand on her hip and pointing the other at Ranma, her forefinger an inch from his nose.

Ranma patted Makoto on her head. "Ain't my problem, little girl."

As Ranma was busy annoying Makoto with his belittling, Ukyo thought of Makoto's demand. She considered Makoto an "old" friend, and it was also to some small part her fault that Makoto had been running after a false dream. And there were plenty of them whenever Ranma was nearby. Maybe this was the time to use those points she had got.

"Ranchan, if you do that, you'll have a free Ranchan Special every day for two week after school," she suggested.

Less than a minute later they had reached a deal.

It hadn't taken Makoto long to call her friends to come to the Crown Arcade to meet her "senpai". Now, it was only a question of getting there. As the two walked to the train station, she was now handed another set of ads. One for a book by Kaori Daikouji, titled "Moving On: No Longer Engaged to Ranma Saotome", another one called "How to Skin a Panda" and finally an ad for "The Saotome Fiances Support Group".

Makoto and Ranma had nearly reached Crown Arcade when Makoto felt a raindrop fall on her nose. She wiggled her nose a bit and cast a look at the sky. "The arcade is just around the corner - we'd better run the rest of the way unless you want to get wet," she said and grabbed Ranma's hand. The two ran hand-in-hand, without pausing to look behind, to the arcade and very nearly broke the hinges off the door.

The other four Scouts were already there and were waiting for Makoto to arrive. Usagi and Minako had thrown in a bet of what Makoto's senpai looked like, whereas Ami and Rei were more interested in knowing what he had to tell about living in Nerima.

"Hi guys," Makoto called at the four and waved her free hand enthustiatically, throwing droplets of water off her sleeves as she did that. Her enthusiasm was met with widened eyes and eyebrows risen unusually high.

"Guys?" she faltered a bit. "I thought Ranma looked the part just perfectly? Or did I exaggarate hi...her?" Makoto thought. Shaking aside the slight unease and uncertainty she felt because of their reaction she continued. "This is my senpai, Ranma Saotome."

This only resulted in three of the girls blushing. Unlike the rest, Usagi came forward and hugged Makoto. "Oh Makoto, your senpai is so cute!"

Now it was Makoto's turn to wonder what was going on. Cute? She cast a questioning gaze at Usagi, who had a blindingly radiant smile on her face. "What do -," she began until next to her a cute, very feminine but also very bored voice interrupted her with a question.

"Ya got any hot water in here?"

Makoto turned to the source of the new voice next to her and saw a girl. Yes, definitely a girl in wet clothes and no bra. A redheaded girl with a pigtail. And who was holding her hand.

Holding WHAT?

She quickly let go of the girl's hand and jumped backwards. Where did Ranma go? She looked all around her but didn't see the definitely all male form of Ranma anywhere. The girl scratched the base of her pigtail and grinned.

"The name's Ranma Saotome. Sorry 'bout this."

AN:A few points... I'm trying to dump here most of the wacky ideas I have around a rather simplistic background plot and avoiding (more than a few) too worn clichés in Ranma/Sailor Moon crossovers. The funnier and more inventive you think the story is, the better I have succeeded. A few things this fic won't be: a fukufic, a Ranma/Sailor Scout match-up, crossover with Tenchi Muyo! or A!MG (Touhou game series is not completely out yet). Possibly more to come later on.

Reupload note: This fic is likely dead, as I am definitely not in the mood to write any comedy any time soon, even though I have the future chapters planned out.