title please standby .

author aika

standard disclaimer applied

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summary Its simple when the bastard likes somebody, it becomes worldwide news. "We thought he was gay."

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01. Uzumaki Naruto . ←"嘘!すべては嘘!。でもーそれはいいじゃん!!サクラちゃん!!!!!!!!"

I gaped . Really, honestly, I did. All I could do was gape, usually I'd have something really super awesomely smart and not to mention sarcastic to say, slash, and or, respond. Oh, but this time,

Bitch no.

I gaped at my best friend, also known as, the bastard, as he glared me right in the eye. Usually, I'd be shitting my pants now, but right now,

Bitch no.

"Dobe, stop gaping flies are gonna fly into your mouth."

I left my mouth open

hanging

hanging

Bitch no.

"Teme, you like somebody?"

He glared at me again and with a sigh he responded

"Yes. Yes I do."

Bitch no.

"Who?"

His eyes started to shift away as his eyes turned to a girl sitting across the classroom.

Oh

My

Gosh

Bitch no.

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FINALLY

"DUDE, FINALLY. OH MY FUCKING GOSH, ITS BEEN LIKE 2 WEEKS AND YOU FINALLY NO-

"Uzumaki, do you have anything to say?" I paused in mid-sentence and glared at Kakashisensei

"WHY YES. AS A MATTER OF FACT I D-mafsjsfgsjsgsUCHI-AGSFSHSGSJGSSLIKES-AGSFSJSJ"

sfx: punch

Ouch.

By this time, the entire class was looking at me on the ground.

Oh my gosh.

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HE ISN'T GAY!

02. Hyuuga Neji ←"・・・マジで・・・?"

I am a calm man. I am a very calm man. Usually when big news happen, I am the only one who is calm, collected and did I mention calm? Yes. I am, destiny has made me into this calm man, and I am most certain if I were any calmer, I'd be dead.

No, that was a joke.

I don't tell jokes, please don't be stupid.

But no. I am not calm right now. I am a tad bit shocked at the moment.

Shocked.

What a word indeed.

"HE'SN-AFSGHSFHSGS"

Blocking out his loud obnoxious obviously covered and subtitled in orange words and annoying voice, I tried to calm myself.

"Stop talking Uzumaki, it'll do everyone some good." I hear Shikamaru say as he tries to sink in the newly added information.

News like this just doesn't happen everyday.

Yes.

It doesn't.

The term 'gay' gets thrown about a tad bit too often, and I was quite certain even at a young age of 5 that Uchiha Sasuke, also known as, the bastard just thought of a little add on there, no I wasn't trying to be funny, please, once again don't be stupid.

But yes, we always thought that our dear childhood friend was indeed,

Gay.

We respect that, we are fine with that, we are, after all childhood friends.

But him being not gay,

My now, that, is a surprise.

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What the fuck.

03. Yamanaka Ino ←"あのーうちは?サスケくんでしょう?マジかよ?はぁはぁ、ナルーおいーマジで?チャンスだ!えぇー?!サクラ、あの新しい転校生?嘘!嘘!やだよおおお!!!サスケくん!!もう!シカくん!!"

"WELL FOR YOUR INFORMATION SHIKAMARU THIS IS BIG ASS NEWS. ITS LIKE THE END OF THE FUCKING WORLD WAR 3 MAN. THIS IS BIG SHIT ASS NEWS!" Naruto yelled as he began stressing the fact that once again, Sasuke wasn't gay.

I always knew he wasn't gay, he was just to god damn sexy to be gay.

I mean look at him!

and those muscles'

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Hot damn.

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I'm pretty sure, he's been working out for women and not for men.

I mean come on, look at him.

But he isn't gay.

So us being able to discover this must have led from the fact that Naruto has indeed found out who he likes.

Oh wow that sounded logical.

But the point is,

is no, its not that he's not gay.

Oh honey no.

Its the fact that he's fallen in love or like whichever its still on the same level

the point is,

IS THAT ITS NOT ME

I MEAN COME ON, I'm blonde, pretty, blonde and pretty. ugh, what's not to like about me?

GOSH.

its that new transfer student.

pink.

HER HAIR IS PINK.

NOT BLONDE.

"…"

and she's not even pretty.

ugh.

Well, I guess she's okay.

"…"

I mean Hinata's friends with her.

Hey wait a minute I haven't seen Hinata in a week.

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Ugh.

04. Hyuuga Hinata ←"えぇー?サスケくんは・・・?"

I've known Sasuke since we were younger, despite being the same age, I wouldn't really consider us, good friends. In fact, we were more of.. , kind of friend. Other than that, we're pretty much..

Nothing.

Still though, we knew each other. I consider him as like.. a not that close friend, but its all good.

I don't say much in real life but I have lots of thoughts.

Yes, I do.

But to know Sasuke isn't gay.

Oh my.

It was kind of surprising.

I guess.

I mean, I wasn't that in keen with Sasukekun's sexuality. To be honest, I don't really care.

But he liked Sakurachan!

Which made it an even more bigger surprise!

I'm so happy for Sasuke and Sakura!

But really..

How on earth is Sasukekun going to ask Sakurachan out?

As far as I know.. Sasukekun doesn't have any experience with talking to girls.

Other than his mom.

Mikotosan!

But i guess she doesn't count.

Oh my.

This could be a problem.

05. Nara Shikamaru ←"って・・おいーマジかよ?サスケは・・・?あのー、サクラ?!マジ、マジ。あぁーもちろんこれ・・・めんどくさい"

Calculative.

Yes.

I'm very calculative.

Smart.

Yes. I'm definitely that too, including lazy.

I'm not afraid to admit.

In fact, I'm proud of it.

I'm calculative, I'm smart and I am never wrong.

Let me repeat myself, NEVER WRONG.

So when Naruto decided to bombard us with this big troublesome news by running into the parking lot to Neji's hummer where we were all relaxing at the back of for lunch with the words Sasuke not gay in it along with liking -insert name here-, trust me, we were all shocked.

jaws dropped, food dropped (into Neji's car by the way, heh asshole thats what you get for spilling your freaking coke on my leather seats assfuck.) and well, Ino screamed, trust me, we were all dead shock.

and you know what.

I WAS WRONG.

HAH, who knew? Troublesome as it is, who knew the bastard wasn't gay? I mean, he's with the dope most of the time.

Then again, the fact that they enjoyed beating each other up until they both bled and they almost killed each other with a baseball bat should have been a complete fire sign.

Troublesome

Like I can't even stress the fact that

that.. aw fuck, god damnit...

I WAS WRONG DAMNIT

06. Inuzuka Kiba ←"マジかよ?!サスケ?あのやろう?!はぁはぁはぁはぁはぁーーおいーナルト、なんだよその顔?"

Shit happens.

I mean, shit happens everywhere.

Like everywhere.

To be very fucking honest with you

I always knew he wasn't gay.

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Kay that was a lie.

I have no actual comment.

"…"

Asshole's gonna beat me to asking the new chick.

This is just fanfuckingtastic.

TBC