My active imagination just can't stop with the ideas. I just had to do this.
I pushed through the endless crowds of the hallway determined to make it to my room. There was another party going on in this area tonight. Constant chatter from my peers was mixed in with loud, crappy, and useless rap music. The many college students held red plastic glasses full of some kind of alcoholic beverage while I carried a bag with food from Subway in one arm and books in my other arm.
My fellow college peers see me as a stereotypical nerd but I'm really not. I'm just not into the partying scene and I have my reasons. Partying means alcohol and alcohol clouds the brain and makes a person act stupid and different. In my mother's case, alcohol just makes her miserable, bitchy, and stubborn.
My mother is an alcoholic. Has been one since I was twelve after my father walked out on us. Alcohol is like the oxygen she breathes; it's that important to her. My mothers alcoholism is the reason I avoid parties and alcohol altogether.
Of course I just had to pick the largest college in Seattle, and have my dorm in the area that is popular for parties. Hell I think some of the people here are just here for the parties and not the education. My roommate Jessica loves to party. She loves to party and go shopping. I don't think I've ever seen her study once. I think she even came into our dorm high last night.
I'm in my second year of college under an English major. It is my dream to get through college so I have a ticket out of Washington. I refuse to be held back here by my alcoholic mother and father who only comes around when he wants money.
Yep, he had abandoned us but when I was sixteen he magically appeared into my life again. He gave me some fake bittersweet speech about how he misses me, and that he wants to be apart of my life. He conned money out of me and I did not here from him again for a year. Every year around the same time he stumbles into my life for money but I reject him every time. I won't make that mistake again.
I rounded the corner pushing through another group of people. I walked to my dorm room were the door was open and a small group of girls my age were inside grinding on each other.
"Jessica, what the hell! I told you I need to study tonight." I scoffed.
"Bella!" She screeched pulling herself from her friends. I regretted coming in here after seeing who she is dancing with. You got Lauren Mallory who is a Jessica wannabe, Tanya Denali the town slut who tries to hide the STD she picked up in High School, and Jane Volturi a walking bitch.
"Can't you and your hoes move the party out of the room with the others?" I saw the other girls scowl at me but I ignored it.
"This is my room too Bella, and we want to hang out in here." She tried looking stern but instead burst out in laughter for reasons that are unknown to me.
"Yeah, Bella. Why don't you go to the library with the rest of the nerds." Jane spoke icily to me.
"Fuck you!" I spat. I reached around Jessica to grab my laptop bag and stormed out of the room.
Jessica does this to me every time she decides she does not want to party with the main crowd. She and her hoes will gather in our dorm and won't leave for hours. I tried studying when they were in the dorm once but I could not stay focused and they kept getting up in my face, making me uncomfortable and pissed off. I missed out on a lot of studying as a result and did not do to good on a test.
I tried talking to my RA about the partying going around in the dorms but she and the other RA's won't do anything because they're apart of that scene.
I ate my sub from Subway on a bench outside of the library. No eating allowed in the library unfortunately. I entered the library and found my favorite spot in the far back. There were actually a lot of people in the library tonight. Not as big as the party group but a decent number.
I pulled out my laptop and books and began intently studying for my English exam. I was about ten minutes in when my AIM messenger popped up with an IM.
velvetkeys: Hello, Sweetheart. :)
I smiled, feeling my bad mood dissipate.
The IM is from my friend Edward.
Well he is more than a friend. I consider him my best friend but I think there is more to it. The way we are with each other is like we're a couple but I don't think that very often since it is purely an online relationship. We've never even seen a picture of each other even though we have shared our appearance with one another.
We met on some crappy chat room were people go when they're bored.
Yep, I had ended up one of those chat rooms. It was about four months ago. I had done all the studying I could. I had no homework to do. No friends to go out with. I was truly bored so I went to that website and met Edward. We took the chat to AIM and have grown close since.
velvetkeys is typing
His screename is beautiful. Apparently his sister helped him pick it out. He plays the piano, which is were keys comes from but the velvet part his sister added.
velvetkeys: What's the matter sweetheart?
bellamarie: What? Huh? How do you know that something is the matter?
velvetkeys: I usually get a more enthusiastic greeting from you. Now tell me what's the matter.
bellamarie: Another party going around in the dorms. Jessica and her hoes have taken residence in the room tonight. I guess Jess forgot when I told her I wanted to study in the room instead of the library tonight.
velvetkeys: I'm sorry sweetheart. People in college love to party, its uncontrollable.
bellamarie: Please tell me you were not one of those people in your youth.
velvetkeys: Okay 1) I was not one of those people even though my best friend loved dragging me to them and 2) Youth? You make that sound so past tense. I still am in my youth. 28 is not old.
I am a walking contradiction. I have serious trust issues with men but I can get online and talk to a guy who is eight years older than me.
His age has never been a bother to me. According to Edward, my age has never been a bother either. He is easy to talk to. His every thought is not motivated by sex and partying. He actually listens to me and I listen back.
He knows everything about me… well almost everything. Edward knows about my trust issues with men but I have not told him why. He knows about my mom being an alcoholic but he does not know of the things that happened in my life because of it. I'm not ready to go down that road yet. Not online at least.
I know almost everything about Edward too. He is twenty-eight years old. Playing the piano is his greatest passion and gets paid a lot of money to teach people to play it. He has never been married but has recently broken off an engagement. His best friend is dating his sister and unlike me he is close to his parents.
The one thing we have in common is that we were both born and raised in Washington. He was raised in a small town called Forks why I was raised here in Seattle. He got out of Washington ten years ago and now lives in sunny California.
bellamarie: You just keep those thoughts of denial for when you turn thirty. lol ;)
velvetkeys: Keep laughing sweetheart but you'll understand when you're my age.
bellamarie: That's a long time away babe…
Regret washed through me after I hit send. I had never been that bold or had called him babe before. Sure we flirt but he never expected me to give him a nickname when he started calling me sweetheart.
velvetkeys: Babe? Babe. I like that. ;)
Regret gone. If he likes it, then I will continue to call him that.
velvetykeys: …So what are you doing sweetheart?
bellamarie: At the library. Was studying till you IM'd me. And no you did not interrupt me. I think I needed the distraction anyways.
I get so annoyed when the party scene prevents me from studying but when I talk to Edward it is like nothing else matters.
velvetkeys: Well you get back to studying because I have to leave here in a few minutes.
bellamarie: :( Why?
velvetkeys: Tonight is Jasper and Alice's engagement party. Oh, Jasper has made me one of his groomsmen by the way.
bellamarie: Was that Alice's doing?
velvetkeys: Actually no. It was his choice. We are back on good terms.
According to Edward, Jasper and Alice have been dating for three years. On their second anniversary Jasper got called to Iraq. He is a medic in the army. It about broke Alice's heart since Jasper never told her that he re-enlisted. An unhappy Alice made Edward unhappy. Alice and Edward were angry at Jasper for the longest time till he came home wounded. Alice and Edward changed there tune and with the life altering experience Jasper went through, he decided to propose to Alice and get out of the army.
bellamarie: That's great, Edward. Really great.
velvetkeys: Yeah… ugh I am sorry sweetheart but I got to go and get ready. We will talk later as always. Good luck with your studies but don't study to hard. Enjoy your Friday night.
bellamarie: Thanks. I'll try. Let me know how the party goes. Good night babe.
velvetkeys: Good night sweetheart.
velvetkeys is offline.
The usual sadness I feel whenever Edward and I say goodbye creeped up on me. He is about the only true friend I have in this world. I was a bit of a loaner in high school but found my social skills to be improved in college. I have maybe two friends away from Edward. I'm not as close to them as I am Edward but we do hang out occasionally.
Angela I have known since Freshman year. She is also an English major so we have a lot of the same classes and her dorm room is in the same hall as mine.
Then there is Rosalie. Rosalie is not in college but we know each other through work. We're both waitresses at a local diner. I work part time while Rose works full time. We don't get to hangout much because Rose is either working or taking care of her three year old daughter.
I could try and put myself out there more. Make some new friends but I just don't feel that desire to. I don't want to make to anymore roots here. I only have two and half more years of college to go and I will be out of this town.
I've survived a year and half without much of a social life and have been just fine.
And I will continue to be fine.
Plus I have Edward now. It may be an online thing but I still have him and he takes that fine line to great.