Twinges Of Regret

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter Characters they belong to JK Rowling.

He looked down at their bodies and stared into the now lifeless eyes of his friends. They were both dead, they had been murdered. It was entirely his fault; he was to blame. He was supposed to protect them; he had become their secret keeper in the hope that he would keep them safe. They had trusted him and thought that he would keep them safe from harm. Instead he had betrayed them. He had betrayed his friends. He had killed them. Even though he had not muttered the killing curse, he might as well have.

Peter Pettigrew stared down at the bodies of Lily and James Potter, his best friends, and he felt a twinge of regret at his betrayal of them. "Wormtail," his master shouted in the background. Peter took a deep breath, taking one last look at his friends, and turned around. He had chosen this and there was nothing left for him now but to continue down that path; the path that he had willingly chosen for his own survival.


Peter stared around him wildly, looking for a means of escape. It was no use, he was trapped, and he was going to die. He looked down towards the end of the alley and saw the brown haired man approaching him. The man approached him with his wand drawn. "Lily and James, Sirius! How could you?" Peter shouted at him, trying to figure a way out. Sirius growled. "I never killed them, you did!" he screamed back at him. When he heard Sirius's words, he felt another twinge of regret at what he had done.

He looked around and positioned his wand behind his back. He muttered a spell and cut off his finger, biting down on the pain that it caused. A green light shot out of Sirius' wand, the blast erupted loudly on the muggle street. Everything was destroyed by the spell. In the middle of the blast, a small rat with a missing toe scurried away from the scene, following the other rats down to the sewers below.


The rat scurried away along the Hogwarts grounds into the safety of the forest. When the rat had reached the forest, it stopped. It shifted from rat back into human form. Peter looked around nervously, not completely convinced that he was safe from them. He had gotten away as fast as he could. Fear that he was going to die had driven him to escape. He did not want to die and he was too scared at the thought of facing the dementors. He knew that he had to escape from their clutches before they handed him over.

When Remus had transformed into his werewolf form, Peter had sensed his chance to escape so he stunned the red haired boy with the wand that had fallen to the ground. Then he shifted into his animagus form, scurrying away. He turned around and looked out from behind the trees, staring at the terror in front of him. The children ran in fear from Remus's werewolf form. His eyes found Harry and as he stared at the boy, he felt another twinge of regret inside himself at what he had done twelve years ago.

Peter shook his head, realizing that he had to get out of there before he was discovered again. He transformed once more into a rat then he scurried away further into the forbidden forest.


He stirred the soup a few times before he heard his master shouting his name. Peter took the spoon out of the pot and laid it on the table. He turned and walked along the corridor, looking at his surroundings as he walked. Taking a deep breath, he remembered that he had chosen this path. If his master triumphed, he would enjoy power beyond his dreams. A small voice nagged at the back of his mind that if, however, his master fell and they lost, he would fall with him. He shivered. That did not ever bear thinking about.

If he had never chosen this path, he might have been with his friends right now. He could have been enjoying a nice meal with them, but he had willingly chosen this path he reminded himself harshly. His master bellowed his name once more. Wormtail trembled at the sound. When he came to the doorway, he stopped and took a deep breath. He felt the twinge of regret that had become all too familiar to him when he had doubts about what he had done all those years ago. Peter clung to that feeling for a minute then he took another deep breath, pushed open the door and entered the room.


He awoke suddenly; he had been having a nightmare. It was the same nightmare that he had every night since that terrible night; the night he had murdered his friends by turning them over to his master. Peter remembered vividly the moment that he had stood staring into his friends' lifeless eyes. That night he had took steps down a path that he could never turn back from. He had chosen that path willingly. Wormtail had chosen his master over his friends.

They were the only friends he had ever had in his whole life. Lily, James, Sirius and Remus had all trusted him with their lives and he had betrayed them all. He put his head in his hands. He had done it to please his master, but he still regretted betraying them. They had been the only friends that he ever had or would have. All of them had treated him with kindness and showed him the true meaning of friendship.

He had thrown all that away the minute he had betrayed them by telling Voldemort the location of the Potter's hiding place.

In that moment, Peter felt the all too familiar twinge of regret. Now, and for the rest of his life, he would have to live with those twinges. He had chosen to walk down this path and he would continue to do so, until the end. He could not turn back after all that he had done.

Author note: This oneshot was written for Cuba's five things challenge on the HPFC forum. I really enjoyed writing this. I would like to thank StarShinobi for betaing this for me. Reviews would be greatly appreciated.