Suffocate
Chapter Four


Satin/Silk: Sorry for the delay but welcome to the last chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

This chapter has been inspired the song that started it all Single by Ne-Yo and We are who We are by Keisha which I thought was a good closure song.

As well as I do not own any of the characters presented or implied in this chapter! They all belong to J.K. Rowling. Though there will be some OOCness due to the interpretation that I have to how they would react in this unlikely circumstance.


Suffocate
Final Chapter

It wasn't the slow grind that she had been expecting. It was nothing like what she had been expecting and yet at the same time, she wasn't sure what she had been expecting. It was confusing, frustrating and it certainly didn't stop the tears that were threatening to fall. This was her haven and yet somehow she felt alone. She knew why but she wouldn't say it aloud.

She stood there in the middle of the pure chaos around her and it filled her with envy. It had only been three months since Ron and Harry had refused to join her at the club. Three months since her whole life unraveled and she had to start something new. She wasn't sure if she was filled with regret but she shouldn't be. She had walked up to Malfoy and kissed him. She chose him over Ron and three month later, she wasn't sure what she really wanted. It didn't help that things had just gotten more complicated.

The bass was pounding in her head and for the first time all day she felt free. The tears slid with ease and she moved in and out of the crowd as if she was air. She was out of place; she knew she looked more out of place than usual. She was still in dress robes. The silky material hugged her curves and flowed away from her. The royal blue of the gown made her stick out like a sore thumb. She wasn't use to this sort of fast pace music that caused everyone to jump around, pumping their first in the air but she didn't care anymore.

She didn't know who the hell she was anymore, was she Hermione Granger or something more or less. She had wanted normalcy desperately but somehow it had all gotten away from her. In the end, more drama had been caused. She was without identity, she had died in the world and what came back was almost not human. Or just not the Hermione Granger that she had been so sure that she would have developed into. Hermione Granger would not have ditched Ron for Malfoy of all people and Hermione Granger would have never stepped into a club.

But damn that was all behind her and yet she couldn't let it go. Who the hell was she? She couldn't say and after a few moments of just standing them, she slipped off her shoes. Maybe she had put them in her hand or maybe she threw them. She wasn't even sure, in one fluid movement, she and the music were one and she moved like she had never moved before. It was hard to tell that some movement ago she had been anything but lost. Her mind went blank and she couldn't even make herself think of him. Both men were so far from her mind, she could hardly believe that they existed.

She was too good to be real, too serene and perfect to really be there but the way she moved made them realize that she was glowing. Despite her tears, despite the dress she wore and despite the intricate hair style she was more radiating than any of them could have hope to be. Normally some guy would have tried to touch her, ease up on her and wait until he could mingle into her world but it was so hard to imagine it was possible. She was so far away, so close and yet so ingrained into the music it was almost rude to disturb her or the pulse that she emitted. They stared at her in wonder, who was this angel and why, why was she so sad?

"…"

It felt like it was raining, pouring down on him as he frown no scowled. The weather was beautiful even the full moon had made a small appearance throughout the night. The wedding was more than anyone could have ever thought of. He had been late but she knew he was going to be late. Malfoy had told her that when he left. He felt like an ass, he hadn't wanted to leave her but something came up and it was important.

She was sick or she had said that she hadn't been feeling well. He could still remember those scared brown eyes staring deep into his soul. She had already begun to overanalyze everything and it was scaring her. It broke his heart and in that one moment, it had confirmed all his worse fears. He had never felt like this with any other woman and he couldn't imagine feeling that way with any other woman. He didn't want to feel that way with anyone else but he couldn't say it. He didn't know how to say it without saying like a bastard.

He didn't want to be a bastard; he was so fucking tired of being a bastard and everyone looking at him like he was shit. It had been a false hope that he had given himself when he had walked through those club doors. He thought that things could be normal that he wouldn't have to put up with people's eyes. But he had to and they followed him every where he went whether it was muggle or wizard. It got him so mad that he just wanted to scream at the world that he had just made a mistake. He was stupid, young and he hadn't understood. He had been misled and he shouldn't be blamed for that.

Even then as he stood with Granger's glass in his hand and her gone. He felt unbelievably stupid. He had left her alone for an hour, he hadn't met to, and he got caught up. First there was Pansy who couldn't shut her mouth up but he couldn't deny her. Thousands of people had thought that one day they would be getting married but that had been so far from the truth. And that hadn't happened and she had screwed up so much more than him. She had fucked up that suicide had daily seemed like a better alternative to the life that she was force to lead. Alcohol was her only savior with alcohol she couldn't hear the hate that was spewing from other and alcohol made everyone glare look like a smile.

Alcohol had been what had pushed her into Weasley's arms, the best friend of the man that she had betrayed and somehow he loved her. Somehow he could look at her that made Malfoy hot with envy. The look scorched him and beat him, why couldn't he say that he felt that way. Why couldn't he be free to look at Granger that way, it killed him every damn time. He stopped looking at Weasley but he couldn't deny Pansy. She was glowing, radiating and she seemed happier than he could remember. She was in love and she couldn't pretend. Somehow love turned her from a heinous, traitorous bitch to this sophisticated, beautiful woman who had been talking nonstop. Love couldn't transform all annoying habit he guessed.

The Parkinson-Weasley wedding had been pushed back by two months and it seemed to do the world some good. It gave time for everyone including the families to get use to the idea and love the couple. Malfoy doubt the world could accept him and Granger the way they had accepted Parkinson and Weasley. He pushed that thought out of his head.

A half hour later with the glass, he had been making his way to Granger when different official suddenly had an interest in talking to him and he couldn't avoid them. Then there was potter who gave him hell for being late. Sometimes Malfoy wished that he and Potter hadn't established a comfortable friendship so he can hex him without all the friendship drama that would come with it.

Before Malfoy knew it, he had left her alone for an hour and she was gone. He knew she wouldn't be happy about it but hell he hadn't been happy about it. He was preparing himself for a small fight that would lead to a bigger fight which would lead to other things he didn't want to think about. Why was she so complicated and a small voice told him it was because he shouldn't have her. He shook the voice away and he saw it. The empty chair, he casually looked around the room to see if she was there. There was no reason for her to leave the tent and so came the rain.

He knew his face was flushed, red with anger and he wasn't surprised that yet again Potter had shown up. This time he was accompanied with the Weaselette, and he tried not to glare at them both. But it was so damn hard, he hadn't meant to be gone for that long, why the hell did she leave? She knew that he wanted to know about what the healer said, he run his empty hand through her hair.

"Malfoy, Ginny said she's been looking all over for you,"

"Well, I am right here."

Ginny looked at the empty seat and back at Malfoy, it was kind of obvious that he knew what she was trying to tell him. He shifted his jaw and put down the glass.

"So I am guessing you already know she left,"

"Truly, you're a genius," He drawled which earned him a glare from the couple. "Did she say where she was going?"

"No," She shook her head. "She just said that she had wanted some air and before I could ask what she meant, she was gone."

Malfoy didn't say anyway, he just stalked off before he eventually dropped his glass. He should have taken her wand away from her. Damn girl, didn't know how to deal with her feelings.

"Where are you going?" Ginny shouted at him.

"To go bloody get her," He was sure that they couldn't hear him but he didn't care.

With a quick pop, he was gone. Harry wrapped his arm around Ginny and she looked at him.

"Their relationship has to be the craziest bloodiest thing I have ever seen," They turned to see Ron.

"You're one to talk," Ginny snipped back.

The three just stood there for a while before they returned inside of the tent.

"….."

He knew when he had checked the flat that she wasn't there. There was only one place that she could be. Why did she do this? He didn't understand but he shook his head. He didn't want to think about that, he just wanted to find her and make sure she was okay. He moved through the crowd slowly, unfamiliar with the music and not feeling a surge to dance. It seemed like hours while he searched through the jungle of sweaty bodies before he find her.

He stopped, completely breathless at the sight of her. Her hair had fallen from the updo that she had complained about doing. It was the easiest thing for her to do with her hair but she hated them because eventually not matter how much spray she used or pins, her hair always got free. She hated it, but she didn't even notice. She glistening and everyone seemed to dance around her. No one touched her, he couldn't think of a more beautiful sight. His heart was thundering in his chest.

He wasn't to run to her, pick her up and shake the hell out of her. What was with this bloody batty woman that he couldn't get her out of his mind? He couldn't run if he really wanted to, the path to her was getting harder and harder but he made it. The music slowed down and he realized it was that song. The one song that had started it all and she stared at her waiting. She was so gone, and he almost didn't want to disturb her.

But he touched her and her whole body stopped. She looked up at him with puffy red eyes and his heart broke at the sight. What was wrong with her? He barely offered his hand to her before she jumped into his arms. She sobbed against his shoulder and for the first time in Draco Malfoy's life he didn't care what anyone thought. He had to get her out of there and he honestly didn't care if Rita Skeeter showed up.

He moved quickly out of the building as he could be apparated. He sat her on the counter of the bathroom and run some water. Any notion to shout or yell at her left his head. He brushed all her tears off with his thumbs and kissed her lips as if they were his only source of food. She kissed him back and for the first time all night Hermione felt at ease. She really felt safe.

She knew he wanted to scream at her, she knew that he was anything but please but the way he kissed her, she doubted she would get into the tub. She wrapped her form around him, holding onto for dear life. Merlin, what was it about this man that made her lose all sense. She didn't know and she didn't want to know.

He pulled away after awhile and tested the water. He made sure it was the perfect temperature before he turned it off. He added her favorite bubble bath before he returned to her and placed his head in her lap. She caressed his hair softly, he said something but he couldn't understand it. She almost didn't want to know what he said but curiosity wouldn't let deny herself the knowledge.

"I didn't quite hear that," Malfoy moved his head room from her lap.

"What the hell was that Granger?" She flinched at his harsh tone. "I was coming right back Granger, and next thing I know after I get asked a hundred questions by every bloody official this side of the ocean, you're gone. What the bloody hell is wrong with you?"

"I don't know," She choked on a sob.

Malfoy didn't say anything and honestly Hermione wasn't sure what he couldn't say. He walked out of the bathroom and her heart fell. She slowly moved off the counter but before she could leave the bathroom, he was back. He had her pajamas in his hand and tossed them near the sink. He sat on the edge of the tub and pulled her into his lap.

"What do you mean you don't know," He was frustrated, she could tell.

"I just don't know who I am anywhere," She said softly. "This is isn't me Malfoy; I just don't know what to do,"

"What did the healer say about your sickness? I am sure that sickness whatever it is adding to battiness." Hermione resisted the urge to glare.

She had almost forgotten about seeing the healer this morning. She looked at him, feeling more lost than before recalling what she had been told.

"What? Did they finally tell you that you're under a delusional that you are the smartest bloody person in world,"

"No," She couldn't look him in the eye.

He lifted her chin and made her look him in the eye. "What Granger," He kissed her shoulder

"I'm pregnant,"

Malfoy was silent. Pregnant with his baby, he felt like something explode in him and a smirk grew on his face. Hermione automatically fell into a glare and he gave her an innocent smile, she already knew what he was going to say.

"No,"

"Oh, Granger, Draco is a perfectly suitable for a child especially one that will naturally inherit my beauty and grace."

"You mean anyone who gonna inherit the look of an amazing bouncing ferret?"

"Anyway, is that the reason you've been acting so batty?" Malfoy tried not to glare as well.

"Yes, no, I just…."

"Just what Granger,"

"That, I just don't feel like Hermione Granger anymore. I am not sure who I am. My life is hardly what I expected it to be. I assumed I would be married by now at least," Her voice broke. "I know many of us were forced into the job force to make up for what was lost but I really wanted to finish my last year at Hogwarts and I just never would have-"

"Thought that you would be here right now pregnant with my baby instead of Weasley's," He turned not to sound bitter.

Hermione clutched at her his shirt, she didn't want him to leave but she could tell that he was angry. She hated herself but everyday she woke up beside Malfoy and she wondered how long this was gonna last. They said they would try which meant at any moment, it would be over and where would she be? She had made this life with him and it was fine for now but there was no guarantee of stability. The thought of him leaving made her cry and now she was pregnant, she hated the thought more but he had never promised to stay. She couldn't force him to stay.

They were only together because of one dance and one song. A moment where she felt more alive in his arms than she had ever felt in her life and two months later she still felt the same way. Damn it, she had fallen in love with him and he could leave her at any moment. It was frustrating and scary because she had gone to that club. If she had never gone, she wouldn't have to be waiting every day for him to leave her and break her heart.

And now with her list of regrets out of the open, she felt it was inevitable. He was going to leave her. He was going to leave her with his baby all by herself.

"So," His voice was so calm. "You left the wedding because you couldn't stand the fact that Weasley was getting married and you were stuck with evil old Malfoy?"

"No Draco, it's not like that."

"Then what's it like Granger? What do you expect me to think when you tell me that you're going bloody crazy because your perfect life didn't end as well especially now that you're stuck with me?"

She was crying again and he was too pissed to care. She grabbed the side of his face in desperation. He tried to push her off of him but she wouldn't let him. She grabbed the side of his face again, kissing him.

"I love you and I am terrified that you're going to leave," He was stunned.

"I don't understand how that logic fits in your list of regrets Granger. I don't know if you remembered but I left Astoria for you."

"But everyone knows that if you just say the word, she would come back like nothing happened. You could live your life with her and I will be stuck with your child and this life by myself. While I and everyone wonders why I was so stupid to get involve with you in the first place. I don't hate or regret what we have Draco, I just don't know if every morning that I wake up if you're going to be there. And I feel like an idiot for falling in love with you when you can leave at any time,"

He was shocked again, more so then before. He stared at her tear stained face and wanted to tell her that she was wrong. But the truth was she was completely right. He had said, they both had said that they would try and nothing more. He could leave right now, ignore her tears and ignore the baby and just say that he had tried. Who could blame him or who would be angry at him for doing exactly what he said he would do.

Now every morning made more sense. Every hard kiss, lingering looks of fear and pleasant looks of surprise had intrigued him but he had never asked. He had come up with his own reasons for why she had each expression but now he knew the truth. She was so terrified of him leaving and he was so afraid that he would never deserve her. They were quite a pair.

He sighed and hugged her to his frame. "You're right," She stared at him as if he was already moving out. "You're not Hermione Granger anymore and she would never do half the things that we've done. I imagine she turned as red as Weasley hair and faint," The comment earned him a slap on the arm.

"And who are you suggesting that I am?"

"Hermione Malfoy," She must be dreaming, she concluded.

"What," She pulled away from him.

"Hermione Malfoy," He dug into his pocket and pulled out a soft velvet box. "I had to pick it up before my early morning meeting,"

Hermione licked her lips before she took the box from him and opened it slowly. Her heart melted at the sight of the ring. It was perfect. She just stared at him.

"I am not leaving, Hermione."

She smiled softly before she kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her and once again he knew that no man would be able to permeate her world. She was all his and his alone and he didn't give a damn what the world thought.


Satin/Silk: Awww.