Chapter One

AN: Oh brother. This is going to be a screwy ride. I planned on posting two other stories first, one that is much darker, and one with some angst that is a typical epic. However, I just started writing this one day and I couldn't stop. It's silly, sexy, and a lot of fun. No angst at all (I know!)... Dedicated to amkp and her love of Ranger (Still think he is very "dereky"), especially chapter 6. You rock, girl!...

"Come on, Penelope," Sherri Jones, one of her good friends who happened to work in information technology for Internal Affairs, pleaded with a smile on her freckled cheeks. She had carroty red hair and an impish grin that made her look much younger than her forty years. "It isn't very often one of us gets married here. The FBI is just not known for romance! You have to come to the bachelorette party. Carla would love it, and it wouldn't be the same without you."

"Sher, I really appreciate the invite, but I am just not in the mood."

Penelope had good reason not to go. She had just broken up from her long term relationship with Kevin Lynch, and was somewhat still reeling from the ramifications of it.

It seemed like she'd be together with Kevin forever, dating, going out, having some fun, but not being too serious. She assumed someday they would be serious, buckle down, have 2.3 kids, but she didn't know when. Kevin didn't really want to get hitched anytime soon, either. She'd bugged him about it, especially when others in the tech world were getting married, but he'd always answered, "Someday, sweeting."

Then, after three plus years, Kevin had finally asked her to marry him.

She'd shocked the shit out of him and herself when she'd said, "No."

It was rather amazing, the feeling she had once the word left her lips. She had them positioned to say the opposite, when suddenly they pursed and said the negative response. Kevin's face fell, his beautiful, almost gaudy diamond ring he'd been saving forever for fell out of his hands, and her heart fell to her feet. She felt kind of guilty for saying no... but felt even more relieved.

She felt guilty about that, too.

Nevertheless, she couldn't take it back. Something in her soul rebelled against being Mrs. Kevin Lynch. No matter how much she thought she should say yes (She had hurt his feelings and Kevin was a nice guy), something in her heart told her not to. Her heart wouldn't let her, no matter how hard she tried.

To tell the truth, she wasn't trying that hard.

Now she was single and a little afraid, not exactly sure what she was supposed to do with her life. Her biological clock was ticking like a bomb, telling her to jump the next man (Any man!) she saw, and have a baby before it was too late, but her mind was definitely sure that man was not Kevin Lynch.

Another smattering of guilt hit her. That wasn't completely true. Her heart was shoving her another way. She had a sneaking suspicion where it was directing her, but she wasn't one hundred percent sure. She was only ninety-nine point forty-four percent certain; nothing was foolproof.

However, she currently didn't want to consider to whom her heart was leading her to. It was too soon to think that way. She needed a month. Anything earlier screamed rebound.

She should take some time and be single. Re-evaluate her life. Get everything in order.

With that in mind, the thought of being in harmony and at peace alone with herself, she answered her friend, "Not this weekend, Sher."

"You are going to break Carla's heart," she said, pouting. "She really wants you to go. She adores you, Garcia."

"She'd understand." Penelope knew she was right; Carla knew both herself and Kevin, she worked in the same area that Kevin did.

"The best way to make yourself feel positive is to go and have a great time." Sherri slung an arm around Penelope's shoulders. "Come on, babe. Come watch some men in itty bitty undies dance."

For some reason, that sounded like much more fun than being contempletive. She tried to justify it in her mind. Maybe that was part of being newly single, reevaluating her life, getting everything in order?

She highly doubted it. Still, the devil in her prodded until she started to giggle. She grinned and nodded. "Alright. I'll go."

"Great!" Sherri exclaimed, then looked a bit wary. "One more favor, P?"


"You know all of us girls are going, right?" She smiled a little too eagerly. "All eight of the Tech girls?"

Pen nodded, starting to feel wary herself.

"Well, you are the only one with a male best friend. One who is so fine, he looks like a God."

Shrugging, she couldn't deny it.

"Perhaps you could ask him to be sobercab for us? Pick us all up in that big ol' SUV he has?" Sherri asked, nervously.


"Come on, Garcie!" Sherri begged. "All of us would love to be driven around by that hunka burnin' love."

"Oh, good Lord!" Pen growled. "I can't ask Morgan to do that!"

"Ask me to do what?" Derek said, wandering into her lair like he always did.

"Ah..ah..Hi Agent Morgan," Sherri stammered nervously. All the tech women drooled over Derek, but could barely talk to him in person.

"Hi," Derek answered, looking looking vaguely amused. He shot Sherri his million watt grin, then turned to P, the corner of his mouth still up. "What is this about?"

"Nothing, Morgan."

Sherri looked at Penelope with a pleading expression. "I have to go, P. Think about it... please?"

First glaring at the retreating back of Sherri, Penelope turned and smiled at Derek. "So..."

"Spill, sweetheart."

She just bluntly said it then. "Want to pick up a bunch of drunk, rowdy, horny women on Saturday night?"

Derek simply grinned at her and said what she thought he wouldn't.