Author's Note: I just want to say thank you for the wonderful comments and the loyalty to this fic. I hope I ended it with satisfaction and justification. Enjoy.

Part Eight:

Dearest Calliope,

Where are you? You should be back in the States now but I haven't heard anything. I hate to think that you freaked out because of my last letter. Maybe I shouldn't have said it, but we've been honest about everything else so far… it felt right to tell you how I feel. Then I am thinking you didn't get the last letter and so you are reading this one and thinking what the hell? And then I have to tell you again that I love you… or you've read the last one and you've just stopped being freaked out and I've just said it again and you're freaked out again… VICIOUS CYCLE! And I just can't break it…

And then I am thinking maybe you are here, and it isn't real. You realised that it was just words after all. Or maybe you're seeing this large family of yours first. There are so many of them…

Then maybe it's the mail man… maybe, I've scared him off now. He thinks I am stalking him. I am waiting for him by the door most mornings in hope for a letter. I try to be an unobvious stalker but

I am trying so hard not to think about what the other possibility is… I really am trying. I keep thinking I'd know… I'd know if something had happened. But I never knew with my brother… I am struggling not to think this. I can't write it.

It's been raining cats and dogs today. I always thought that a strange expression and slightly terrifying. What umbrella would be strong enough to deflect St. Bernards, Rottweilers, Poodles and kittens? Think of the teeth, claws and tails. That would be one painful storm to be in.

Do you know what other expression I don't get? Until the cows come home. Where were they? Did they go on vacation? Did they bring luggage? Did they sit on a plane? I have an image in my head of cows sitting on a plane in Hawaiian shirts wearing sun-shades.

Oh I could list many… wouldn't say boo to a goose. Why would you want to say boo to a goose in the first place?

It's one of my patient's birthdays today, and so there's a party in the playroom. Kids hyped up on sugar, every pediatric nurse's dream. There is a lot of screaming happening. I am convinced that there is a certain pitch that only a child's voice can reach. I now understand why the paediatric ward is here in the hospital, highest floor, furthest from the exit. Children should be seen, not heard. Another silly expression. But that seems to be the designer of this hospital's attitude. I love that shriek, that giggle, that laugh… what sort of world would wish to have silent children?

Please tell me you are being careful,

Love you,

Arizona

xxxx

The blonde smiled as the parents of a healed child hugged her and thanked her. She looked over at her resident who was focused completely on the child. He looked at her and nodded at her with softness in his eyes. She excused herself, stepped outside of the room and took a deep breath.

Dearest Calliope,

I can't concentrate… People are noticing. You'd tell me if it was to be no more. I know you would…

My protégé Karev is proving to be heroic at the moment. He just correctly diagnosed a girl who had been previously diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic and was bound by restraints and medication. He saved her life and all there was to diagnose was SCDS. He saved her life and her future, and I actually doubted him. I almost became that doctor that didn't believe in miracles. Please tell me where you are!

I am trying to be a great doctor, but my mind is going to you. It's hard wearing a mask everyday when I never used to have to. I don't want people asking questions because I can't answer them.

I cracked and turned the news on and learned that a Texan dog had twenty-seven puppies. I don't think it was the right news. But it was enough for me. Actually it was highly disturbing and just reminded me why I don't watch the news.

Please just tell me you are safe,

Love you,

Your Arizona

xxxx

The blonde slammed the phone down and growled. She barked at an intern before immediately apologising. She ran her fingers through her hair as she grabbed her jacket. She was having a cigarette.

Dearest Calliope,

I cracked. My new year's resolution went to shams. I smoked a cigarette and I still haven't started Ulysses. I smoked.

Just tell me where you are!

I don't care if it was just a phase. I don't care if you were using me for while you were there.

I miss you so much… it's been two months! Where are you? No one tells me anything. The army won't tell me anything. I got Teddy to help and she just hit a brick wall. I can't be honest with them, because of the stupid fucking Don't Ask, Don't Tell. I can't find you in any hospital here, so you aren't working… I am playing the detective and I just swore. You made me curse… now you have to tell me where you are.

You made me fall in love with you. It may not be real for you but it is for me. I always thought you would have the decency to just tell me that it isn't happening. Why would you lead me on and then ignore me. It was just words, wasn't it?

Don't be cruel and make me think you hurt… tell me you just used me, or that it isn't real or that you found a man. Tell me something. Just tell me you're there.

Arizona

She pressed her forehead against the window as tears fell from her eyes into the glass of sand. She heard someone clear their throat in the doorway. She turned around with some hope in her blue eyes, only to find a nurse. She swallowed hard and smiled weakly.

Calliope,

I am sorry I got so angry. I am just so scared. I am so scared to accept it. I'd rather think you evil than… I can't. I'd know if it were true.

I told my father everything. I have never heard him grumble like that before. He passed the phone to my mom. So I told her. My dad disapproves of how we met, because I may have put your career at risk, but my mom thinks it's really romantic. She has persuaded my dad to use his connections and find something out. Wow, I make my dad sound like the Don of some Mob Party.

You are missing out on some great impersonations now. I have puffed up my cheeks and am pulling off my greatest Brando.

I am almost tempted to fly to Miami now, but where do I begin? Where do I start first? Do I knock on every door and say 'Hi, does Calliope live here?'

And then I am thinking your friends would know… but Lokie, Mason, Fab… these aren't names to work with?

God! I don't even have a picture to put on a freaking milk carton!

I almost hate you for making me this scared, for making me this worried, for making me cry! You're making me cry, and I am a terrible crier. I blubber… I am not that graceful crier who just have tears rolling down her cheeks and makes no sounds. I blubber. Calliope, you're making me blubber.

Are you even getting these letters?

Please be okay,

Love,

Arizona

xxxx

The blonde woke with a start. She sighed as she glanced at her pager. She closed her eyes before checking the pager again. She threw the covers off and dressed quickly. She ignored the many letters that papered the floor. She grabbed her car keys from the coffee table before glancing at 'Calliope's Square.'

Dearest Calliope,

It's four in the morning. I was sleeping but then got a 911 page. A preemie with a dissected bowel. He is still fighting. I don't like operating on people that small, that tiny, and that new. This tiny person who has barely taken a breath has already been placed under the harsh lights, exposed to the loud noises, and been cut open to a new world. It is the worse kind of surgery but the most rewarding when they live. When you take away the tubes and the machines, and they open their eyes, breathe in the air and cry for nurture. When you witness that first fight to live, it's magical.

When I was closing him up, it was so quiet. It was just me and the anaesthesiologist. He is Bailey's man, Ben. A really nice guy… anyway, he was reading as I was sewing. And all I could think about was baseball. I asked Ben did he know anything about baseball and Ben chuckled and said that he had followed the game for as long as he could remember. He told me how his father would tell him tales about the times of real baseball, during the 1960s apparently. And how he had a Carl Long signed baseball which he had passed down to Ben, and which Ben will pass down to his child. Ben talked about baseball as if it were part of his family, like I talk about military. I thought it strange at first but as I transferred this tiny person to the NICU all I thought was would he play baseball… and would he get a baseball from his parents, and then I thought who I would give my baseball to…

You told me about your dreams. Your dreams for the future. You shared them with me and I never shared mine. You told me about picket fences, sprinklers and children… I want that but only with you. You are the greatest dream I've ever had, and I am terrified that that's all it was… a dream.

'Dream it and it will be real.' That is what my mom would say all the time. She would say that about anything we thought to be impossible. When my heart was broken the first time, I dreamt that the girl who broke it would be back, and she wasn't. When my grandmother got sick, I dreamt for her to be well again and she wasn't. When my brother went to Iraq, I dreamt for him to come home and he didn't. I stopped dreaming. But then you came along and I am dreaming again. You are my dream and I am waiting for it to be real. So I am saying to you about your dreams. Dream it and it will be real.

Please be real. Please become real… Please!

Arizona

xxxx

She placed the letters in a neat pile and wiped her eyes once more. She stored them neatly into a shoebox, and sealed it. She touched her fingers to her lips, tasting the saltiness from her tears. She pushed the box under her bed and stood up slowly.

My Calliope,

It's been almost five months since I received a letter from you. I have tried everything. I got my father to be a bully, Teddy to be a threat and Owen to call in a favour and no one will tell us anything. I know there was an incident. I know people died and I know it was a loss for the American army. I know our own were hurt. But I don't know names. They won't give names to those who aren't family. Never having a name gives me hope. Gave me hope, but it's been five months… and I can't keep doing this to myself.

My life is on pause. I feel motionless. I don't make up stories for the kids anymore. I don't play hide and go seek. I don't tell jokes… I just work, sleep and worry.

My father came to Seattle. He took me to the park. We sat on the same bench I sat on that Valentine's Day. I couldn't stop crying as my dad held me. When my brother died my father packed the car and disappeared for the weekend. He wanted to take my brother on one last fishing trip. I didn't get it. My brother was dead. He wasn't there… but, now I know my dad was saying goodbye.

I need to let go of you. I need to say goodbye. And the only way I can do that is by letter.

Megan was a beautiful little girl and she introduced me to you. She was struggling to write back, kind of like I am right now, so I wrote the letter for her. I can remember it like it was yesterday. She was telling you about her favourite place… her grandmother's lap. My favourite place is this bench. It's away from the craziness that is the city, away from the other people, and on top of the hills, giving a fantastic view of the city. It's quiet and it's mine. I go there when things are difficult, or when I need to think. I go there when I miss you. I am there now. The air is damp. The rain has finally stopped and the sun will break through, giving us a glimpse of what to expect this summer.

You know how much I loved getting those letters. I could never stop smiling when I saw your hand-writing. It was only supposed to be a friendship. But I always got excited. I kept every single one. I felt like I've always know you, that we were connected without even knowing it. I always thought that everything happens for a reason; that sequences of events are put in place for us to be where we are today. I was supposed to be Megan's doctor so I could meet you, but now I am thinking why life would be so cruel to take you from me before I even had you.

Before I could touch you, see you, breathe in your scent, and kiss you… why would life be so cruel to make me fall in love with you.

You made me feel special, unique, one of a kind. You never pushed me. You never mocked me. You never pressured change in me… I am never going to find another you. I never want to.

People say I will meet someone else, but I don't want to. They're worried about me. They say I am depressed. They don't understand… and it can't be explained. But I am getting better. I am getting better at thinking of life without you. Sometimes it's easier to pretend that you were a dream, but if I dream you, I want you to be real.

I always said I hated long-distance relationships, but I wouldn't have changed a single iota of what we had. You were real. We planned dates, we talked about the future, we shared secrets, and we adapted for each other… what could be more real than that?

I thought you didn't want me. I thought you had changed your mind. I thought you had freaked out… but you wouldn't. You wouldn't shut me out… you never did before, so you wouldn't now. I went through the list in my head as where you could be… and I know the truth now. I know you're gone.

And now I say goodbye.

I love you. I love what we had. I love that magic that was us. I love that euphoria I felt when I got a new letter. I love that anticipation, excitement and nerves… I loved everything and wouldn't have changed it.

Thank you for being you, and thank you for making me feel. Thank you for making me dream of possibilities I had never considered. Thank you for being you and being selfless, kind, strong, funny, and awesome… Thank you.

I was hoping not to cry. I imagine your funeral with the flag, those three shots and that bugle… I imagine pride in your parents' stance, awe in your sister's pose, and admiration in your friends' faces. I imagine the sun is shining, and the waves are calm, the sand is a perfect white and the waters are the bluest of blue. I imagine you in your favourite place, at peace and away from danger.

I am not angry anymore; I am no longer feeling raw… I will go into that hospital with a smile on my face. Robbins dimples will play their magic again. I will operate and be a superstar doing it. I will have a drink with my friends and I will raise a glass to what is to come and what was. I will always miss you. The hurt will never go. But now I can wake up and breathe in a new day, because though we have never met, you're everywhere here. You're on my couch, you're in my office, you're in this very park, and you're on my mind. You're here and I never noticed that before… I just wish I had more… Told you, I am selfish.

It's getting brighter out. Is that a sign?

I love you so much. I miss you so much… I wish there was more… but there was enough…

Goodbye my sweet, kind, strong, miraculous Calliope. You are indeed epic.

Your Arizona always

xxxx

The blonde smiled as she approached the waiting room. The red-head woman seemed to have sensed her arrival and was hitting her balding husband's arm. He grumbled and was on his feet almost as quickly as his wife. They were worried. Their faces were pale drawn and their eyes dim. They were exhausted. Arizona waited until she was in front of them before she spoke.

"The surgery was a success… We removed the tumour from Amelie's bowel and prepared the lacerations. There is some scarring but that will settle as she gets older. She will be sore and tender when she wakes up and she will need some time to recuperate and get her strength back…"

"But she's going to be okay?" The father interrupted.

Arizona broke out into a big grin, "She's is going to be just fine."

"Oh thank you, Dr. Robbins," The woman pulled her into a tight hug. "Thank you so much… Oh thank God for you."

The blonde chuckled as she pulled back, "its fine… Do you want to see her?"

The relieved parents nodded and followed the nurse with exuberance.

Arizona pulled her scrub cap off and shook her hair loose. She stretched her back as she looked out the window. She watched the rain fall with rapid pace. She tied her hair back in a messy ponytail before turning back towards the Peds ward.

She skidded to a stop as she reached the nurse's desk.

"Hey, can I have the Taunton charts please?" she gestured to the middle-aged nurse sitting behind the desk. "Are you arguing with the computer again, Mel?"

The woman looked at her with kind eyes and grumbled, "It tells me to press enter, so I press enter, and nothing happens… so I press enter again, and it returns me to the beginning… whatever happened to good old fashioned paper and pen?"

Arizona swallowed before brushing off that thought. She smiled and took the chart and returned to her office. She looked at the white sand that showed no light in the rain. She sighed and touched the glass lightly before looking up at the grey clouds.

"Rain, rain, go away. Sun, sun come out and play," she whispered as she switched on her desk lamp. She sat down and leaned back, pressing the pen to her lips as her eyes traced the words of the chart.

She sighed as she leant forward, pulling out a file of scans. She muttered as she sorted through them before pulling one out and holding it up to the light. She took her pen, marking a spot on it before returning her eyes to her chart. She lifted the pages until she reached the third page. Her eyes darted through the words quickly before she reached for a notepad. Instead of feeling the hardness of her notebook, she felt a coarse softness. She looked up, her attention no longer on the case. She lifted up the square of red, coarse fabric and her eyes filled with confusion. She pushed aside the scans and files before finding a single sheet of paper.

I've fallen in love with you too

The blonde gasped, and covered her hand to her mouth. Her blue eyes filled with tears as she struggled to breathe. She pushed aside everything trying to find the source of the letter. She jumped up off her chair struggling with her tears. She swallowed hard and looked at the glass before the office door.

She pulled open the door with force, almost knocking down a passing child and his mother. She glanced at them, a brief look of apology flashed across her features before she went straight to the desk.

"Mel, did someone go in my office?"

The nurse lifted her eyes to meet the baby blue ones, and Arizona could see a thought process was taking place.

"Come on Mel, who was it?"

Mel was startled by the impatience in the younger woman's voice.

"I can't remember… I don't think…"

"Karev," Arizona ignored the rambling nurse as the young resident approached. "Did you see anyone come into my office?"

Karev frowned at her, "It wasn't me…"

Arizona was almost in his face, "Did you see anyone?"

"You mean the hot army chick?"

The blonde spun around to newest of residents, Jackson Avery, "Where did she go?"

"She said she was a friend…" Jackson defended nervously, unused to this tone in his senior.

"Where did she go?" The blonde almost shouted.

"You were in surgery…" The tall man struggled and saw impatience in the other doctor's eyes. "Coffee… she said she was getting coffee."

He barely finished the sentence as Arizona ran out of the ward.

She ran to the elevators and slammed all the buttons. She swore as the elevators failed to move as quickly as she wanted.

"Come on!" she hissed before seeing the stairs. "Stairs!"

She raced down the stairs with a disregard for her safety. She ran straight into Mark Sloan who caught her.

"Whoa Robbins! Where's the fire?"

She glanced around the lobby, and saw the coffee cart. "Where did she go?"

"Who?"

"Did you see her? She is in the army." Arizona looked up at the older man, with hope in her voice.

"Oh, the hot Latina! Yeah… she is hot," Mark immediately fell into daydream.

"Sloan! Where did she go?" Arizona snapped

"She was talking to the cute coffee girl…"

Arizona couldn't help but return her gaze to the young girl in the cart with a jealous glare.

"Where is she now?"

"Cafeteria?" Sloan suggested. "Do you have her number?"

Arizona shoved him hard before running towards the cafeteria.

"Wheels! Arizona, you have wheels," She scolded herself as she kicked out the wheels on her shoes, and skated her way to the cafeteria.

It was empty except for two older doctors. She groaned as she halted to a stop. "Dammit!"

She searched waiting rooms, and ignored the surprised and irritated glares of impatient family members. She raced into the gallery and almost tripped over an intern. She raced from on-call room to on-call room, waking colleagues in the process.

She barged into another, disturbing the throes of passion between two of her colleagues.

"Knock much?" Christina barked.

The blonde blushed, "Sorry, I was looking for someone…"

"Unless they're invisible, they're not here." Yang answered as she pulled her scrub top back on. She shoved Owen aside. The red-headed man looked at the worried blue eyes of his friend.

"Who you looking for, Robbins?"

"My friend… she is the army…"

"Oh, the hot army chick?" Yang interrupted.

Owen raised an eyebrow and Christina just shrugged, "I'm not blind…"

"Where did she go?" Arizona demanded with a shout.

"Jeez… outside. She went outside…" Christina answered nonchalantly.

Arizona raced out, ignoring the shouts demanding that she closed the door behind her.

She ran through the hospital, skating before running and running before skating. She reached the doors of the lobby and stepped under the awning. She stopped and gasped, hearing only the rain beating down on the roof.

The blonde felt nervous and awkward almost immediately as she saw the brunette against a pillar watching the rain. It was her. The brunette wore camouflage combat trousers and the tight fitting white shirt. She noticed the crutches supporting the taller woman and stepped forward. The brunette heard the scuffled footstep and turned around. She saw the nerves she was feeling in the baby blue eyes. She studied the blonde standing in her navy scrubs, and watched how the smaller woman pushed loose strands of hair behind her ear with trembling fingers. She watched the red cheeks return to their normal shade. She watched as she was being watched.

Arizona stepped closer, and saw nerves dancing in the warm dark eyes. She watched as the rain trickled its way free from the glorious mane of loose dark hair. She watched as the caramel skin shone beneath the light. She watched as the taller woman stepped closer to her. She could see a hint of a scar peering out of the sleeve of her shirt and she couldn't stop but move closer to touch it. She gazed up into the warm, brown eyes and allowed herself to breathe as she saw the other woman nod with reassurance.

Callie lifted a finger to the small woman's cheek and stroked it gently. She could see tears pool in the blue eyes and she smiled widely. The blonde couldn't help but return the smile.

"Calliope," the smaller woman whispered.

Arizona didn't even know she had the moved closer until her lips were against the full lips of the taller woman. The kiss was soft as their lips caressed each other's. The brunette's hands pulled the smaller woman closer, wrapping her hands around the small frame, and held her with strong hands. The kiss deepened without hesitation, their tongues explored. Arizona moaned slightly as she felt teeth tugging her lower lips, before softly kissing them. The kiss was unrushed yet passionate and tender. It was the first kiss of many kisses, the kiss that confirmed what they wanted and felt.

The brunette pulled back as she felt the slow trail of Arizona's tears reach their lips. She kissed them softly before touching her nose with her lips. The blonde couldn't help but smile a dimpled smile.

Callie's grin widened as she stroked the dimples. Her warm eyes met the soft blue eyes and in them she could see pure, unadulterated love. She looked down at the small hand clutching her shirt and she glanced at the other free hand. She chuckled as she reached down and released the object that was being gripped.

Arizona watched as the darker woman pulled the item free and lifted it to her. She had forgotten that she was still holding it. Callie studied the small pen before glancing back at the blonde. She leant forward and kissed her again before looking back at the pen.

"You don't need this anymore," Callie whispered softly as she dropped the pen to the ground and let the smaller woman reach for her again.