A/N: Basis for this story was pitched to me by Kg947 :)
We'll see how it goes :)
I really thought that it was nothing. That everything would just fall back into normalcy like I had grown so accustomed to.
I watched him fall. I watched him, and knew I couldn't do anything about it. There are some things that are just beyond our control. I could hear him as he impacted at the bottom of the cliff we were standing on at the time, doing nothing but closing my eyes and sighing.
"He's getting more supportive shoes when he comes back." I had thought. But that was it. I turned around and walked home in silence.
I sat down in our living room, sitting on our couch and listening to the steady ticking of the clock on our wall. Marking away the seconds, beating away what would otherwise be a deafening air of nothingness. This was what I was expected to do...what I wanted to do.
I wanted to wait.
So I did.
Days passed. And nothing came to light.
Stan came by, trying to get me to go somewhere to eat, trying to make me go to my bed to sleep. But I couldn't. I needed to wait. After all, he could be on his way home any minute. He could burst into the room with the biggest smile on his face only to realize that I had left.
He liked me being there for him. He liked being here for me.
But that was months ago. Months of sitting and waiting had to come to a stop. Bills were piling, the phone calls were getting more frequent and the callers more agitated with my negligence to pay up.
But I was trapped.
We hadn't even considered getting life insurance policies for ourselves. He was seemingly immortal...and I never left the house except to go buy our food or whenever we wanted to go out together. And he would always protect me from whatever seemingly impossible object would try to claim his life. We figured that we were safe; that we were secure.
After all, Ken was making just enough for us to get by working construction on the new neighborhood they were implanting downtown. We didn't need much. A small, one-story home with ourselves and a few meager possessions to call our own. His pick-up truck was reliable enough to keep around and he'd nearly paid it off before his accident. We didn't think about saving, we didn't think about anything but surviving. We were 21 and 20, we didn't think about the after affects.
I'm still 20 I guess, I don't know what to consider him anymore, though.
Today, though, all I can think of is how utterly stupid we were. Especially me. I was always the one thinking ahead, planning everything through...but I guess things just seemed good enough for me to find solace in what we had. I thought we had the entire future of the world ahead of us with the direction we were headed. He was working, I was keeping our house together, keeping things in line between us and our friends, making sure everything was ready for us the next day. He didn't want me to work, he said I didn't need to, that he wanted to be the one taking care of me. At the time, it was sweet. Now however...it was blind.
We were immature for people our age, dancing around reality as though it were our plaything.
Now it's come back to slap me in the face in the form of mortgage payments, utility bills, car payments, our credit card debt...it's all piling on top of me in a mass of 'Final Statement' stamped envelopes.
My friends are struggling enough to keep their own heads above water and I just can't ask them for the help. My pride won't allow it. My parents left Colorado years ago and I haven't spoken to them since Ken and I started seeing each other. I have no one to run to, I'm not sure of what to do. Ken's final paycheck should be enough to pay off the bills I have stacked on our kitchen table...but what about next month? The month after? What about food?
...I just don't know what to do.
I look over at a picture of myself and Kenny he took a few months ago. He looked so happy...I looked so happy. And I was. But that time's long gone now with his stumbling off of the edge of the Earth. Now I'm alone. I'm alone, broke, and jobless.
I look down at the newspaper in my hand, the classified section spewed out in front of me. This is my last issue of the paper since my bill's due, so I'll have to make it count. I scan through and circle a few different options with the vibrant orange highlighter in my hand.
Things aren't going to be the same anymore; I don't have Ken to lean on for my protection. I can hear the ticking of my clock beating away the seconds and take a large breath. It's overwhelming, hearing it as though it hasn't realized that nothing is the same anymore. It doesn't realize that it's not here for me as I wait anymore. It's here for me to remember that time is actually going by, that it isn't just going to stand still as Kenny and I thought that it would.
The world doesn't stop for fools, and fools are blinded by the ignorance that they have the chance to make things always work in their favor and get time to halt for themselves.
Call me a fool, call Kenny ignorant. We lived all that we could, but it's time to move on. My pace is set to match that of the clock on my wall.
Tick tock, tick tock. Work live, hope fight.
A/N: worst beginning ever =_=
oh well. Thanks for R&Ring anyways :)