I mean really talk and clear the air.
And lets see what's in their heads as well.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Nanna list part 293 The reconciliation episode
01-06-10 (part 1)
Christian: I always thought this thing between us was something extraordinarily special.
Olli: I think the same as well or at least I think that it used to be special.
Christian: I can't imagine my life without you. You are the center of my universe.
Olli: I feel the same about you. But it's obvious that just thinking isn't enough.
Christian: There has to be a solution. There must be someway we can work this out.
Olli: Everything is spoilt beyond repair.
(Olli gets up fills the kettle with water and puts it on the stove to boil)
Christian: Olli what the heck are you doing? We are having our first serious conversation in God knows how long and you pick this moment to boil water! What? You suddenly thirsty for a cuppa or something!
Olli: (exasperated) No, I'm not thirsty for a cuppa! Have you completely forgotten what day it's today?
Christian: It's a Tuesday . What's so special about Tuesdays?
Olli: It's the day that David baby sits Christina in the evenings so that Matthais and Natalie can have a adults only night. The poor boy has no idea how to prepare her formula so I have to prepare and keep it in the fridge for him to reheat and give it to her when she's hungry. God! When did you get so clueless Christian? Or have you kind of blanked out everyone else's existence.
Christian: I'm sorry but with the mess we are in everything other than you holds absolutely no consequence to me.
Olli: (thinking)*I feel the same way We really are in a bad situation can the pain get any worse*
They look at each other for a second their eyes meet but the look doesn't hold. Both look away guiltily and ponder their hopeless situation. As Christian watches a tear slowly trickles down Olli's cheek.
Christian: (thinking) *Shit I made Olli cry I'm such a bloody fucking asshole*
(The kettle whistles Olli stands lost in thought)
Christian: You have to turn it off
Christian: The water is boiling.
Olli turns off the stove. Picking up the kettle he puts it aside. But he keeps standing at the kitchen counter.
Christian stares at Olli the expression on his boyfriend's face is one he hasn't seen in years. The heartbroken look that has taken over Olli's features is identical to the one Olli had given the night Christian had rejected him after their first time together. When they had become a couple Christian had taken a solemn oath that he would make sure that Olli's face was always lit up with a smile. But last night he had shattered his own oath.
He remembered Olli lying in the hospital bed hooked up to a million machines. Christian had thought then that he wouldn't survive should anything happen to Olli but now he realized it would be just as bad should Olli decide to end their relationship and leave him. If only he could control his stupid jealousy. Rob deserved to burn in hell.
Christian: That damn asshole!
Christian: *Did I say that out loud? Dammit! Think of something quick Christian.* That Axel guy...he nearly dragged you to death's door back then.
Olli: *I almost lost you as well. But we got through that why can't we get thru this*
Christian: What are you thinking about right now?
Olli: Your myocarditis.
Christian: It hit you harder than it hit me. I dumped all my frustration on you and behaved so uncouthly when all you were doing was looking out for my well being. I still wonder why you didn't leave me back then?
Olli: I understood the root cause behind your behaviour was that you had lost everything that you had set your heart on...your goal of becoming a sports coach, your dream of becoming an international boxing champion ...in one swift blow all of it was taken away from you. If I had deserted you then it would have only meant that I was a shallow git who was interested in you as long as it was fair weather and smooth sailing.
Christian: Just knowing you were there for me, knowing that you were there to catch me should I stumble and fall helped me keep going. I never even thanked you for all that you did for me.
Olli: Just being with you, helping you find another dream, set up another goal and finally seeing you happy again was the best thanks I could have wished for.
Christian: We worked through all of that. Why can't we get past this?
Olli: Because we can't trust each other anymore.
Christian: I trust you Olli I swear.
Olli: (angrily) Until you see Rob hitting on me and then you'll go kiss Rebecca or some random girl like you did last night.
Christian: (firmly) It won't happen again.
Olli: (disbelieving) How can you be so sure?
Christian: Because I won't survive if you leave me. And acting like a brat will only quicken your departure from my life. I won't be able to bear losing you I've already lost everyone else that I've ever loved. Please Olli give me one last chance to fix this. I promise you I will never hurt you again. Please I beg don't leave me.
Christian watched Olli waiting for some sign, any sign that indicated that Olli still wanted him in his life. What he got was a whole lot more. Olli came round the counter and headed towards him. Christian flew into his arms like a homing pigeon. Christian embraced Olli, their arms brusingly tight around each other as if they feared that a slight loosening of their grip would part them forever from each other.
Burying his face in Olli's throat he breathed in his intoxicating perfume, as Olli's tears wet his neck.
Christian: Olli I'm so sorry. I know over the last couple of months I've given you plenty of reason to distrust me but I promise you I'll change I'll control this jealousy.
Olli: (softly laughing) That's something I'll have to see to believe.
(Christian pulled back slightly and kisses Olli on the cheek )
Christian: (whispering in Olli's ear) I'll make you believe. That's my solemn promise to you. (kisses Olli's temple before burying his face in Olli's shoulder)
Christian: Does this mean you still want me? That you're giving us another chance.
Olli pulls back to look squarely into the blonde's face but his arms still encircle Christian
Olli: What do you think? (he asks through a watery smile)
Christian: I think you are. (he smiles back)
Olli leads them to the couch and they sit down.
Christian leaning into Olli
Olli: (gently caressing Christian's hair) But you do realize that we have a lot of work ahead of us.
Christian: I know Olli. I realize that.
Olli: And what's the first step
Christian: I have to control my temper when I'm around Rob.
Olli: Christian how can you even imagine that I'd be interested in Rob.
Christian: I don't know. I frankly don't know. But from the day we started dating I've always been scared that you'll leave me. Honestly I really have nothing to recommend me as good boyfriend material. So it's obvious that you'll definitely leave me someday
Olli: No I won' fact that you love me is recommendation enough.
Olli: Yes Really! No Tom, Dick, Harry or Rob stands a chance against my sexy horse trainer.
Christian: I love you.
Olli: I loved you first.
Christian: I know
(Christian's stomach growls)
Olli: Well I guess that's a reminder that it's high time I fed my sexy horse trainer.
Christian gives Olli a happy grin