Disclaimer: Once upon a time, someone wrote a brilliant story, created a world for others to read. And no, that person wasn't me! I'm merely tapping into J.K Rowling's brilliant world, hoping I'd ever come near here literary skills. [Probably in my dreams, perhaps] But what I meant to say was, I do not own, nor will I ever, Harry Potter and all creative rights belong to J. K Rowling. I only own the characters you do not recognize, so I claim them, and the plot :) With that said, carry on!
A/N: So I have a few people I'd like to thank! First of all Court1410 and DanaIsis. Both of them gave me the heads up for this story and were able to bear my rambling, so kudos to you two lovely gals :D
And Molivline, I know that's it been a while since I've updated Encounters, but I have a good excuse, it's called a writersblock. And I know you've been very supportive and enthusiastic about that story, so I feel horrible to tell you that I've put it on Hiatus until further notice. But in the mean time I hope you can grow to like this story, perhaps just as much as you liked Encounters :)
With that said hope you people will like this story. For some reason I'm immediately attached to it, don't ask me why. I just am. So instead of using words for emotions I won't be able to explain anyways, I present you Yesteryears. Hopefully you will like it :)
Please, Remember Me
Her mind was whirling with strain, wired shut with anxious voices moving outside her comfort zone. She wasn't sure how many there were. Two, three? Perhaps even four. All she knew was that her body was aching. Her limbs were burning with a fire that had taken hold over every fibre in her being and she faintly registered cries of pain. The throbbing in her head pulsed through her body and her heart was beating simultaneously with every beat. Hitting her motionless, pushing through her own walls, breaking them down with a force she had never seen. The voices grew in volume, her ears straining to hear what was said. But she was only able to pick up a few things.
"...Severe head trauma..."
Her whole body tensed as those words registered and she let out a shaky breath. The headache assaulting her mind was increasing, the throbbing now constant. Her eyes fluttered on their own accord, her forehead creasing with lines.
"Darcie? Oh Merlin, she's waking up. Darcie, love? Can you hear me? Get a nurse. Quick!" His voice penetrated her eardrums and she let out a protesting noise, for it was too harsh and near her ears to be comforting. The anxiety and obvious worry in his voice were hard to ignore. The prominent message calling out to her as she automatically yearned for it herself.
"Miss Lyndon?" Another voice. "Please, Mr Black, you have to calm down."
"Don't tell me to calm down!" There was a tinge of recognition, a sense of déjà vu. As if this was familiar. But the only familiarity she was remotely used to were the succumbing arms of blackness that kept begging her to come back.
"Darcie, love? I know you can hear me . Wake up, please." Darcie? Darcie? Her name...
Her eyes snapped open and the pain assaulted her with hot, stabbing flashes of white. She moved her head and felt she was lying on something soft. Her throat itched for a release and she let out a moan. Her fingers twitched and something solid grabbed hold of her hand. The warmth it provided, the strength in its hold made her forget her surroundings for a brief moment. All her energy was focused on the hand in hers. The feeling of rough calloused fingers wrapped around hers made her forget what was going on again. Because of this her vision got the time to catch up.
Swirling colours shaped into distinctive features, recognizable to their own account, and slowly she became able to distinguish the blinding colours in her room from each other. One by one they shaped into the white ceiling, one that stopped moving, as the other fell into their own places. She let out a small sigh when she realized someone was talking to her.
"You're alright, love. I'm here." The voice soothed the stunning panic that was starting. It pushed it down and she let out an agreeing noise. She was alright. He was here.
She closed her eyes again, her whole body relaxing into the mattress. His voice still echoing murmurs in her head. Her hand still constricted in his and despite the dominating blackness she was able to let go and settle down in her own bubble. The one she chose for herself.
The room was silent. The only indication of life were her soft breathings that reached her own ears. The soft mandarin coloured light lit up her eyes behind her eyelids and Darcie let out a protesting moan before gently settling back into her pillow. Her eyes fluttered open and she was confronted with the soft light that shone from outside her window. Rays of sun that couldn't be held back by the blank curtains.
Darcie blinked a few times. Her ears strained for any indication of a presence but all she heard was the soft ticking of a clock nearby. Next to her bed there were flowers. Calla Lilies to be precise. Their colour only added more emphasis on the fact that her whole room was so incredibly bright. Her limbs felt heavy and she didn't bother to strain them more than necessary so she settled for shifting her eyes to investigate this peculiar room.
Not so long ago it was booming with voices and now it was so incredibly empty that it felt big. And she was only so little to occupy such a space.
On her left there was something heavy, pinning down her arm. Darcie was surprised that she had only noticed it now, whereas the warmth it provided should've been noticed immediately. Then again, everything felt so out of tune that she could only divide her attention so little. She shifted her head and black hair clouded her vision. A musky scent rising from it, which was somewhat familiar, albeit far, far away.
It was obviously a head, a male head to be specific but she couldn't recognize who it was. And from this position she had no view of her face, so identifying him was practically impossible. Her throat constricted with emotion. Who was this stranger? Why was he sleeping on her bed. And why was he holding on to her hand so tightly like that person before. The one who had murmured soothing words.
A wave of understanding moved her out of her stupor and she realized that this man was the one who held her hand before. The one that had lulled her to a sleep. The one that told her she was alright, that she was safe. Her panic subsided and made space for her to raise awareness to her body's needs.
She was exhausted, despite her slumber, whether it was long or short. Not to mention incredibly sore. There was this distant throbbing at the back of her head and she raised her free hand to feel the damage. She patted her face and felt nothing out of sorts, she ran her hand through her hair and hissed when it contacted a sore spot. She let out a curse and her eyes filled up with tears, the reason unknown.
Suddenly her hand stirred, but not by her accord and Darcie stiffened as the owner of the attached hand woke up. He raised his face and the first thing she noticed were his eyes. They were grey, the colour so unusual, yet the obvious black circles indicated his exhaustion. His eyes, bloodshot, came to rest on her and she found herself moving away from him.
He was, without a doubt, gorgeous. His features strong and abstract, his nose long and aristocratic, putting the emphasis on his cheekbones that stood high. His hair black and long, almost reaching his shoulders. Yet Darcie's attention was still on his eyes. They looked unaware, for a lack of better term. He still seemed to be unaware of the fact she was awake, not to mention she had no clue who he actually was.
Suddenly his eyes focused in on her and he let out a confused gasp. "Darcie?" His voice, groggy with sleep was deep and unmistakably the same as before. She frowned and he raised their entwined hands, pressing a brief kiss to the back of her hand. "How are you feeling?"
How did she feel? "I-I..." She trailed off. Her voice was hoarse and her throat ached, making obvious that she hadn't used her voice in a long time. He let go of her hand and grabbed the glass from the nightstand filling it with water.
"Here you go." He muttered and Darcie flexed her hands, checking whether she had the strength to use it. "I got it." He told her as he held the glass near her chin. She held her fingertips against his hands, trying to let him know that she didn't necessarily need his help as she tried to gulp down the water. "Gentle sips." He ordered her and she found herself listening to him. Fascinated by the timbre of his voice.
When he set away the glass and went back to stare at her again she shifted awkwardly. "T-thanks." She stuttered.
"Anytime, love." She nodded awkwardly.
Now that was bothering her. Why was he calling her love? She hadn't noticed before but when she thought about it, since it wasn't the first time he had called her that, it seemed strange. She had no obvious relation with this guy, yet he was by her side. Not someone she knew.
"W-who are you?" Darcie questioned. The threat of panic hanging just around the corner. "W-where am I?" She put her hands on the mattress and hoisted herself in a upright position.
She turned back to the stranger. The pain in his eyes surprising her. "You don't remember who I am?" He asked. She wondered what that meant.
"I-I..." Darcie let out a shaky breath. "I don't know. Should I?" She put one of her hands on her forehead, trying to rub away the headache that seemed to be hitting her full-fledged. "I-I..."
"I'm Sirius." He said calmly, though his eyes and the stiffening of his torso betraying his true feelings. "You're in St. Mungo's. You had an accident. Do you remember?" She blinked at him, her eyes brimming with tears.
"Accident? What accident?" She dropped her eyes to floor and the tears ran down her cheeks. "What happened?"
"Darcie, calm down." Sirius put his hands on her shoulders as he stood up. He bent over her. "You're not going to get better by panicking. Calm down, I'll tell you what happened." He told her. "But you need to take a deep breath, can you do that?"
Darcie nodded frantically and the tension left his body as she exhaled.
"Okay." He sat down back in his chair. "Now tell me, what's the last thing you remember?" She blinked at him as she wracked her brain for answers.
The last thing she remembered. What was the last thing she remembered?
She came up blank.
"I don't know." Darcie whispered blandly. She closed her eyes and more tears fell. What was going on? Why couldn't she remember? "Why don't I know?" she asked, her throat closed up noticeably and she let out a sob. She put her hand in front of her mouth. "Oh God! I don't remember. What's going on? Why can't I remember?" The panic was everywhere now. Prominent as it took over every sense of control.
Her breathing was laboured and she found herself being pushed back to the bed. Her head hitting the pillow swiftly as Sirius hovered above her. Words were spoken as they lay on his lips but she couldn't decipher the meaning as they died before they reached her eardrums. Every limb in her body was protesting the weight as she was pinned down to the bed. Her mind swirled with panic.
She didn't remember.
And she didn't knew why.
Sobs tore at her throat, the tears trailing down the corner of her eyes, dampening her pillow. She struggled yet hands kept her down. The additional pairs didn't register in her mind. All she knew, all she saw were Sirius's eyes as he was physically torn away from her.
"You need to get out, Sirius!"
Arms wide open beckoned her back into the darkness and she fell, face forward, into it. Barely knowing what it exactly was.
"Sirius, you need to get a grip, mate!" James Potter yelled as he grabbed hold of Sirius's shoulders, pushing him back forcefully, keeping him away from the door that lead into the hospital room Darcie resided in.
"Get out of my way, James." Sirius gritted out. His hands were clenched into fists. His eyes showing nothing but anger. "I need to get back there. She needs me."
"No she doesn't!" James shouted back and the anger Sirius felt escalated into incapable rage. "She doesn't recognize you. You saw how she reacted, mate. She's fucking terrified. You can't go back to her."
Sirius ran his hand through his hair. He knew James right. The logic in it was obvious, but Merlin it hurt to even think that his fiancée didn't knew who he was. He watched her fall apart and he had to fix it.
He swallowed the bile that rose in his throat, pushed it down. He couldn't collapse now. They had finally reached a point that could lead to progress. Then again, he had to fuck it up by scaring her. He clenched his fist and pulled away from his friend, sitting down on one of the chairs that was unoccupied. He rested his elbows on the chair as he glanced at the small ray of light that escaped through the cracks. Behind that door was Darcie. And he was here.
Something was wrong with that picture. It wasn't supposed to be like this, yet it was.
He hadn't left her side ever since he had found her. Pulled her from beneath the rubble she was buried in. He remembered her pale face, the contrast between her dark hair and her skin. And the crimson stains on the floor. It seeped through her clothes, pouring down like a flood.
She hadn't woken up since then. She was forever more limp and barely responsive.
"She has suffered excessive brain trauma and we were able to reduce the risk of further trauma, but we cannot assess the situation until she wakes up." Healer Thompson explained calmly. Sirius found himself debating whether he should've punched him or strangle him as he just stood there, looking at Sirius with an expression that could've been defined as indifference.
Instead Sirius sighed and turned his eyes back to the door. He hadn't left the hospital yet. And he wasn't going to either. He turned back his eyes to the healer, feeling somewhat euphoric that Healer Thompson was shifting nervously on his feet, creating a distance between the two of them.
"Is she going to wake up?" Sirius asked. That question pulled him down to the ground again. Slamming him in fact and he was trying to nurse the bruises it gave him.
Thompson nodded his head. His pale blond hair bobbing with him. "I'm confident that she will wake up. Unfortunately I'm not sure what to expect when she wakes up."
"What the bloody hell does that mean?" Sirius snapped. "You're a healer for Merlin's sake. You should know these things." A clear blush was visible on Thompsons face.
"W-we're doing the best we can. It's just that Miss Lyndon has suffered an awful ordeal. We're not going to treat her injuries based off assumptions." Sirius scowled and turned his head away. "Although I am pretty sure she'll have some trouble remembering things."
Sirius's head snapped back to the healer. His grey eyes narrowing. Thompson gulped. He looked so much like his mother this way. "What do you mean?"
"It means that she might have amnesia." Thompson now visibly pale, pulled away.
"Are you telling me that she might not even recognize her own fiancée?" A hand on Sirius' shoulder kept him from pushing further. He knew immediately who that was. After all, when was it that James hadn't stayed with him?
"T-that is a possibility." Thompson said cautiously. Now fully aware of the calamity the person in front of him might be.
Sirius breathed out a train of profanities, each worse than the other.
"So what are you going to do?" Sirius demanded.
"There isn't much we can do but wait." Was Thompson's reply.
So Sirius had done the only thing he could at that moment.
With a heavy heart he had pulled off the engagement ring from her finger and its heavy weight was burning a hole in his pocket. He didn't want to keep it there, in fact, he wanted to bring it back to its rightful owner. He couldn't look at her hands either, without feeling the absence of that certain ring that defined their relationship.
"Go home, Padfoot?" James said evenly. He sat down next to him. Sirius kept his eyes on the floor, his mind still solely focused on the ring. "Get some sleep, take a shower. Then come back."
"Someone needs to stay with Darcie." Sirius muttered lowly. His voice cracking ever so lightly.
"I'll stay. Lily will be here soon." James told Sirius. "Go home, mate. You look like hell."
Sirius ran his hand through his hair. "No." Disagreeing. "I'm not leaving her."
James sighed. "Mate, you're not going to help her by neglecting yourself." James pointed out. His hazel eyes were smacking some sense in Sirius and he couldn't deny that it was actually working. "Go on. We'll be here."
Sirius hesitated. His reluctance was increasing. He couldn't leave her now. Not now he had caused too much damage. He stood up, his knees feeling weak, yet he paced in front of the room. The faint cries behind that door still penetrating his eardrums.
"Sirius." James's voice was behind him and he found himself nodding his head.
"Fine." His voice was detached. "I'll go."
The cacophony of voices and moving steps had now left the room, leaving it as empty as it was before. Never before had numbness felt this good. And Darcie found herself clinging to it. It was strange how she couldn't remember anything. They had told her what happened.
She had lived her whole life and some accident had snatched it all away. Leaving her with blank pages, one that used to be filled with certain memories. And now she had nothing left.
She felt empty. It was the only word she could use without having the urge to explain why she felt like that. And honestly, there were no words that could possibly explain what she felt. And rightfully so, for she wasn't fully aware of the extent of her emotions. She still felt detached. As if this wasn't happening to her. Perhaps this was a dream. A very bad, bad dream. She'd wake up again and everything would be back to normal.
What that normal might be.
That frustrated her, she didn't know what normal was for her. If she had a clue perhaps she could've lived towards that. Set her priorities. At least, she'd know what to do. But now she didn't even know herself, let alone the people that loved her.
Yes, she knew now.
They had told her.
That man, the one she thought of as a stranger was her fiancé. Sirius Black. Apparently he was madly in love with her and wanted to marry her. But when she looked at her left hand she couldn't detect a ring. Perhaps he had changed his mind. Maybe that's why he was nowhere to be found.
"Are you alright?" A voice asked her and Darcie turned to the redhead. She gave her a soft smile.
"I'm fine." Darcie told her. Albeit that wasn't the truth, she knew she had to lie. She glanced back to Lily. Yes, she knew that it was Lily Potter. James' wife and supposedly one of her best friends. But nothing indicated to that story. No feeling, no memory. Absolutely nothing.
She only had her word to go for. So Darcie used that as the thing to cling to.
She turned her eyes back to the window. It was raining now. Which seemed strange since she had seen the sun before. She had felt its light on her face. But apparently all of it was far away now. She had slept throughout the day. Or rather said, She was sedated so she'd sleep throughout the day. Yet she didn't remember being sedated. She only felt the pull. But perhaps that was what it felt like.
She was sitting against many propped up pillows, as they supported her back. Her eyes had enough of the rest that was forced upon her. Right now, Darcie wanted nothing more but take a walk. Use her legs for once. Get out of the bed. She turned her head to the redhead who was sitting on the chair, the one that Sirius had slept in, and she was browsing through a book. Lily had tried to converse with her, but she hadn't known what to say. And for some reason, remaining silent seemed the only thing she could do. What felt natural.
"Are you hungry?" Lily's voice shook her out of her reveries. Darcie blinked once.
"U-uhm." She stuttered. "No, I'm fine." Lily pursed her lips. Her emerald eyes shining disapproval as she listened to Darcie's answer.
"I'll ask for something anyway." She got on her feet and her footsteps echoed in Darcie's head.
So that was Lily.
Darcie saw this as an opportunity to stretch her legs. She carefully pushed aside the heavy blankets that were piled on top of her. She immediately felt cold without its weight and the warmth it provided, albeit lighter than before. She let out a tired groan and gently shifted so she could put her bare feet on the cold floor. Her head spun in this position, she wasn't used to the vertical situation. Her hands, still on the edge of the bed held on tightly as her body leant backwards. She was desperately trying to get a grip on her body, but it felt as if it weren't hers. As if she was in someone else's body.
She took a tentative step forwards and once she found out she was able to stay on her feet, albeit with support from the wall, she continued. She snuck out of the room smoothly, not remotely dragging attention to her and she continued her little journey down the corridor.
Just like her room, it was incredibly white.
Darcie leant against the wall, her feet shuffling forward in a snail pace. There was a pressure at the back of her head. One that was demanding attention and Darcie winced as she kept moving through the corridor. She rounded the corner and was met with another corridor. It seemed as if this place was built like a maze. Darcie lowered herself onto one of the chairs, the weight lifted from her feet and she relaxed into her sitting position.
For someone who didn't remember anything she thought she was doing rather well. Or so she thought.
"What do you mean you don't know where she is?" Sirius barked. He eyed his best mate's wife with blazing eyes. His head was filled up with the worst case scenarios. Every one worse than the other. He let out a tired groan. "You were supposed to be watching her."
"I was." Lily said with levelled glare. "I told you that it wasn't my fault. I left her room for a few minutes to tell the nurse she was hungry. When I got back, she was gone."
"Bloody brilliant." Sirius bit out. "We need to find her."
"I know Sirius."
"NO!" Sirius almost shouted. "You don't know, Lily!" He tried to focus on his breathings but the chaos in his head was becoming his main priority. "She has amnesia, she doesn't know anyone. Someone could take advantage of that."
"Sirius!" Lily crossed her arms in front of her chest. "You do realize this is a hospital! No one is going to attack her here!"
"You don't know that!" Sirius shouted back.
This wasn't meant to happen. He wasn't meant to come back and be confronted with something like this. He had trusted Lily with Darcie, and now she's telling him that Darcie's missing.
"Calm down Sirius!" Lily ordered. "The nurses are looking for her."
"Yeah, and so are we, Lily." Sirius snapped. "You're going to help me fix this." He levelled his eyes with hers. And soon Lily dropped her eyes and let out a deep breath.
"Fine." She told him. "I'll help you look for her."
The pounding headache was hard to ignore now. It pulsed through her body and Darcie held her hands to the wall as she slid down till her overheated skin touched the cold tiles. She wasn't sure where she was now. She couldn't have wandered off too far though, someone would find her. Surely they must've known that she was missing. Darcie gasped and put her face into her hands. Tears were leaking and they splattered on her numb skin or on the white floor. It barely left a mark.
She let out a sob as another wave of pain shot through her body and her back arched with every stab. Her throat constricted with the panic, her heartbeat already quickening as she realized that there was no way out of this. She could barely stand without falling over, let alone walk. Darcie silently chided herself for making such a stupid move.
Despite the fact she honestly thought she'd be okay.
Another sob tore her throat and her eyes felt swollen with the amount of tears that were falling. She felt weak, yet her head felt too heavy to remain on her shoulders. She couldn't ignore the flashes of colours that melted into something unrecognizable. She barely knew what it was that she was seeing. Just that it was everywhere she turned, it followed her. She put her hands on the floor and grabbed hold of the wall with her hands, before pushing herself into a standing position again. The second she got on her feet her head spun. She stumbled and leant against the wall heavily.
There were voices now, a cacophony of movements and fluttering devices. She scrunched her eyes shut. The pain and the noise was too much to bear. She couldn't handle it. She could feel the tremors in her limbs. The shaking of her body, despite its obvious heat she felt cold.
Her skin, slick with sweat, felt disgusting and she bent over, trying to stay on her feet. She knew she had to get away now.
"Darcie?" A pair of hands grabbed her shoulders and pulled her upright. She stared into the eyes of Sirius before her vision blurred with tears again. "What's going on?" He demanded frantically. His grey eyes skimming her body. She gasped for breath. "Darcie? Tell me!"
"M-my h-head." She managed. She could see the confusion in his eyes but that soon blurred into something else as Darcie felt her legs give away. She slumped against Sirius, his hands grabbing hold of her weight immediately.
"Darcie? No, stay with me, love. Come on!" He tapped her cheek as he gently lowered her to the ground. "Don't do this." He pleaded.
Darcie blinked languidly, even that felt like a massive task. The darkness was looming at the back of her head and it was tempting her. She was giving in. For she rather be stuck there, surrounded by nothing but blackness than ever feel the harsh pain again. Her eyes fluttered close as she once again fell headfirst into a dark pit.
A/N: So I'd love to hear you guys thoughts :) So please review :D