Chapter 1: Meet Team Kakashi
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything else that I may reference during this story.
You're traveling through another dimension - a dimension not only of Naruto characters and reading, but of craziness; a journey into a juvenile land whose boundaries are that of a FanFiction. That's a signpost up ahead. Your next stop: the Spoofing Zone!
Meet Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura. The three ninja were waiting in the training field to meet their new teacher, the one in charge of helping them become fully-fledged ninja.
Sadly, this team was stuck with the only teacher in the world that didn't know what the word 'punctual' meant. (Seriously, he thinks it's a breed of cat.)
Earlier that day, the training field was filled with graduates with high hopes of becoming great ninja; but as the day carried on, the kids met their teachers and took off until there were only three left.
A boy with spiky blonde hair and large blue eyes angrily ranted on about how it was important for a ninja to be on time and how his teacher should be here already so he could be done with his training and have more time for ramen.
"Naruto, will you shut up already?" called an annoyed raven-haired boy who was lying on the ground near the blonde.
"Shut up, Sasuke! What makes you think that you know anything? Believe it!" Naruto yelled to the raven-haired boy angrily, running up to him ready to fight.
The raven-haired boy, better known to the group as Sasuke, calmly stood up, ready to defend his honor. There was no way he was going to lose to Naruto - ever.
A pink haired girl, who was originally just watching as the fight went on, now suddenly looked alarmed. Hastily, she bolted out of her seat and tried to stand in the way of the two boys.
When the boys argued, the girl would just step back and let the two talk things out. They were only words, after all. But when the words became actions, the girl knew she had to step in their way before someone (mainly Sasuke) got hurt.
"Naruto, no picking a fight with my boyfriend Sasuke!" The pink haired girl yelled beginning to tear up as she tightly wrapped her arms around her apparent boyfriend.
Completely baffled, Sasuke stood still for a moment, unsure how he went from fighting with Naruto to "dating" a confused pinkette.
"Sakura, let go of me..." the boy muttered under his breath as he released himself from the girl named Sakura's tight grip.
"No, Sasuke! I love you and I won't let Naruto be mean to you anymore!" she cried.
Naruto gave the girl a confused look. "What did I do? He's the one that started it! Believe it!"
"Sasuke's perfect! When will you understand that he can't do any wrong?" Sakura yelled pointing a finger accusingly at the blonde.
"Sure, you think that now, but wait until you read on to Shippuden. Believe it!" Naruto replied.
"In Shippuden I kill people," Sasuke said with a smile.
Suddenly, a puff of black smoke appeared and a man with spiky gray hair stepped out. This man wore a blue mask that covered his mouth and a forehead protector that covered his left eye, leaving his right eye visible.
"Hello, I'm Kakashi Hatake; I will be your teacher from now on," the man known as Kakashi said, giving a friendly smile from behind his mask.
"Cool, it's a mask! Are you a killer? Believe it!" Naruto shouted eagerly. Naruto had always wanted to meet a killer, and this man was dressed so mysteriously that he couldn't help but ask.
Before Kakashi could answer, Sasuke asked with an evil smirk, "Do you think my brother Itachi should die?"
Next to Sasuke, Sakura swooned and squealed, "Isn't Sasuke just so hot?"
Kakashi sighed. He'd only known them for three seconds, and already they'd all failed to impress him. "Sorry, but my answer to all your questions is no - especially yours, Sakura. The only people that like Sasuke are annoying fangirls like you and Ino."
"And Orochimaru, for some reason! Believe it!" Naruto added with a wide smile. He took pleasure in the anger growing in Sasuke's expression.
"Hey!" Sasuke yelled back looking slightly offended.
"Relax," Kakashi said carelessly. "Don't soil yourselves. No offence, okay? It was all just part of a joke not so cleverly written into this story by FanFiction writer Phantom130 5. So nothing in this story should affect your thoughts of me in the actual Naruto universe."
That clearly wasn't the apology Sasuke wanted. "That's it, Kakashi; I'm going to kill you!" Sasuke shouted, running toward the masked man.
"Poor thing... He really thinks he can take me without any weapons," Kakashi muttered as he held out his hand and began to steady it.
Blue light formed in the man's hands. Then in a matter of seconds Kakashi had somehow managed to stick his hand through the boy's body, causing the boy to instantly be electrocuted to his painful death.
The boy's eyes were still open and Kakashi shut them before placing the lifeless body on the floor for his team to survey. The shock on Naruto and Sakura's faces told Kakashi exactly what they were thinking.
"Did you just kill Sasuke?" Naruto yelled, freaking out, "Dude, that was my rival! Now my life's gonna be boring! Believe it!"
"Sasuke," Sakura wailed, freaking out even more. "My love, if you die, I shall die too!" she vowed. Sakura immediately hung herself on a conveniently-located noose.
"Don't worry, Naruto," Kakashi said, paying no heed to the fact that two thirds of his squad were dead. "I can bring them back - but not until I feel like it."
Naruto snickered. "Bringing the dead back to life... I don't believe it - believe it!"
"What a shocker: Naruto doesn't believe," Kakashi muttered to himself. "No, fool, this isn't just any old power. This is the power of the Death Note!"
"Death note?" Naruto muttered to himself, trying to imagine what the item might be. He pictured a music note going around killing people.
"Yep," Kakashi said cheerfully, "a 'Death Note'."
Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a little black book with the words 'Death Note' on it. He held it open to a random page for Naruto to read.
Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki; years ago; Nine-Tailed Fox attack
Sasuke Uchiha; earlier today; 'lightning blade'
Sakura Haruno; shortly after Sasuke's death; hung herself
"You write names and causes of death, and it'll happen just like that!" Kakashi explained proudly.
Naruto took the book from Kakashi and read over the page in his head. He beamed upon recognizing two names other than his recently deceased teammates.
"Hey, I see my parents' names! Believe it!" Then his smile quickly vanished as he understood the seriousness of the situation. "Wait, I get it... Dude, that's really messed up."
Kakashi studied the blond for a moment then without saying another word he snatched the book away from Naruto and erased Minato's name from it.
"Yup, but if I erase the name, he or she comes back to life," Kakashi explained, handing the book back to Naruto.
Naruto looked down wide eyed for a moment at the book in his hands. It was still open to the page where Minato's name had once been. Naruto seemed baffled as to what to say or do next.
"Do you think it worked? Believe it!" Naruto asked.
Kakashi shrugged. "Who knows?"
Meanwhile in the village's closest cemetery beside the Yondaime's grave stone, Minato started frantically knocking on the door of his casket from underground.
"Let me out!" he shouted. "I'm still alive! Believe it!" But his plea for help went unheard.
Back at the training field, Kakashi was still holding the Death Note. "So Naruto, now that you know about the Death Note, are there any questions?"
Naruto hopped up onto the training log. "Yeah, Kakashi-sensei, there's one! Believe it!" He pulled out a Pokéball, grinning impishly. "Can you fight with me in a Pokémon battle?"
Kakashi pulled out a Pokéball too, hands shaking slightly in shock. "N-Naruto, h-how did you know I was once a Pokémon trainer?" he cried.
"Silly Kakashi, there's a time in everyone's life when they become hooked to Pokémon!" Naruto chided with a superior air. "I'm still a recovering Pokéadic. Pokémon can be even more addicting then smoking or drugs!"
Kakashi slowly pushed his headband up, revealing his Sharingan eye. "Well, Naruto, if what you say is true, then I must fight you."
They threw their Pokéballs in perfect sync with each other. The balls landed on the ground and quickly cracked open, releasing a powerful burst of red light.
"Go, Nine-Tailed Fox! Believe it!" Naruto yelled. When the red glow faded, a Pokémon known as Ninetails appeared beside him.
It looked a lot like a fox but it also appeared to have nine golden tails on its back rather than just one, thus giving it the nickname from Naruto as 'Nine-Tailed Fox.'
The Nine-Tailed Fox was a Pokémon passed on to Naruto from his mother, who was once known as one of the world's greatest Pokémon trainers.
"Go, One-Eyed Guy!" Kakashi called. The Pokémon Dusclops appeared across from the Ninetails.
Dusclops looked like a Cyclops made of dust. It had one giant red eye, feet, and two hands with very small arms. One other interesting feature was how Dusclops appeared to be almost covered completely in bandages.
"Nine-Tailed Fox, use Ember! Believe it!" Naruto shouted.
"One-Eyed Guy, use Curse!" Kakashi yelled.
One Eyed Guy tried to curse the Nine-Tailed Fox, but fire quickly shot from the Ninetales' mouth, hit, and burned the Dusclops.
The fire scorched it until the Dusclops was rendered unconscious. Ninetales had won the fight, which meant the infamous ninja and Pokémon trainer Kakashi Hatake had lost.
"Darn, I guess curse wasn't a good move," Kakashi sighed as he returned his Pokémon back into its Pokéball.
Naruto was dancing around celebrating. "I won, I won! Believe it!"
Then the boy's expression changed. He grabbed Kakashi by his shirt and yanked the unfortunate sensei down to his eye level and gave the man a greedy glare.
"I won, so pay up! In Pokémoney, now! Believe it!"
Kakashi sighed. He hadn't been expecting for Naruto to win so easily. The way he saw it, either Naruto was really good or Kakashi was getting too old for Pokémon and beginning to lose his touch. He hoped for the first option.
Naruto was still waiting. Kakashi reached into his pocket and... Of course he forgot his wallet again. Instead, he pulled out a coupon for Burger King. Kakashi wondered if Naruto would accept that as payment instead.
Kakashi forced a smile to his face as he dropped the coupon into Naruto's hand. Naruto looked at it, just as bewildered as he had been with the Death Note.
"What's this? Believe it!" Naruto asked.
"It's a coupon... one dollar off a... uh... magical meal." Kakashi explained, trying his best to oversell the food as much as possible so he didn't look cheap.
Naruto grinned. "You say it's magic? Believe it!"
Kakashi tried hard to hold back a laugh at how quickly the boy had taken to his lie. He snickered a bit but was quickly able to regain his composure in order to speak.
"Yeah, one bite and you'll never want another bowl of ramen again," Kakashi fibbed.
Naruto's eyes lit up as he cheerfully reached out to hug his teacher. Naruto loved the idea of magic. If this meal was really better than ramen, he'd be the luckiest man alive.
"Thank you, Kakashi-sensei! Believe it!" Naruto said, tearing up slightly at his teacher's apparent generosity.
"Anytime, Naruto. After all, you beat me in that battle fair and square so it's only fair that I pay back my debt." Kakashi explained, "But you need to hurry. If you don't get to Burger King soon the coupon will expire!"
Naruto nodded. "I won't disappoint you, Sensei! Believe it!"
Kakashi smirked. "Believe me, you haven't."
Naruto may be lucky when it comes to pulling off an easy win in battle, but at least he was easy to fool. No matter how Kakashi looked at it the upcoming weeks would be something to look forward to.
-phantom130 5 (August 2010)