Oh, this is going to be fun. XD
It was approximately 1:37am when the cell phone of the president of the United States of America began to ring.
Now, though his children were still young and had not yet reached the point of rebellious teenagerhood, the president still knew enough about late night/early morning phone calls to know that they meant nothing positive.
For it was not defiant children that the President needed to worry about, oh no, his children were akin to little angles sleeping peacefully in their beds.
The real problem was Alfred F. Jones. The United States of America himself.
The First Lady moaned, shoving her head unceremoniously under her pillow. "Would you answer that thing, already?"
"They'll leave a message if it's important," he mumbled in reply, flipping away from the annoying piece of technology and clenching his eyes tightly shut.
"What if it's Alfred?" She asked, slightly muffled from the pillow. "He might be in trouble."
The President rolled his eyes. "I'm sure he is."
"So answer it."
"He's a big boy, hun, he can take care of himself."
An angry eye peaked at him through a small gap between the pillow and the mattress. The President groaned, turning back around and putting his phone to his ear before answering groggily.
"Hello, this is the President speaking."
"Mr. President, this is the Washington DC chief of police." The President winced. He was afraid of that. "I'm sorry to be calling at this hour, but I'm afraid I have a…friend of yours here at the station."
"What did Alfred do?" He asked, exasperation dripping from every word as he tenderly massaged his temples. The First Lady poked her head out from it's hiding place to raise a curious eyebrow.
The voice on the other end of the phone paused uncomfortably before clearing her throat. "I think it's best if he explain that to you himself."
He groaned, the First Lady now sitting up at full attention, gesturing to her husband to keep her informed. "I'll be there right away."
"What's going on?" The First Lady asked as the President hung up his phone. He slithered from the bed in response and reached into his dresser, pulling out and slipping into a pair of pants.
"Alfred got himself arrested."
"It'll be fiiine, he says! No one is going to knooow, he says! What's the bloody worst that could happen, he says! Guess what, you twat? This! This right here is the worst that could happen!"
"Hmm I do not know, l'Angleterre," France replied simply, following the pacing Brit lazily with his eyes."I believe the situation could be beaucoup plus mauvais."
England stopped abruptly to shoot the Frenchman an icy glare. "How the fuck could this get any fucking worse, you blasted frog?"
France grinned. "You could be fully clothed and I would not be receiving such a magnifique performance."
America chuckled from his place on his bench as England proceeded to beat the ever-loving shit out of France. He adjusted the small towel they (thankfully) gave each nation to cover their respective vital regions and shook his head in amusement. "Could you guys at least try to keep from killing each other until my boss gets here? They said he shouldn't be long."
England reluctantly let go of France's neck, turning away in a huff. "This is completely humiliating. I don't even know what possessed me into agreeing to such an idiotic idea in the first place."
"Perhaps it was the opportunity to view l'Amérique in la nude? I know that was my excuse." France grinned. England's face turned a delightful shade of deep pink before the nation once again attacked the other. America crinkled his nose in disgust.
"You came just tosee me naked?"
France managed to pull himself away from England long enough to shoot the younger a grin and a wink before promptly being punched in the face. America shuddered and scooted as far away from France as he could while remaining on the bench.
A stern clearing of a throat finally calmed their fighting, and each nation turned to face the Chief who was accompanied by an embarrassed and bewildered looking president. America beamed, jumping from the bench and giving his boss a hearty salute.
"Hey there, sir!"
"Oh dear god you're naked."
America blushed, biting his lip and twiddling his thumbs. "Well, they provided us with these little towels, so technically…"
"Bloody hell, you git, out of my way this moment." England shoved America, who squeaked in surprise, and took his spot in front of the president. "Please, please get me out of here." Out of the corner of his eye, France blew him a suggestive kiss. England paled. "And for the love of the Queen, get me a sodding pair of pants."
The President shook his head, holding the bridge of his nose tightly in fingertips. "You were arrested, Arthur? And Francis, and…" He blinked. "Gilbert?"
In the next cell over, Prussia grinned and flipped the president the bird.
"Actually, he was there when we got here," America explained, rubbing the back of his neck.
The president blinked. "I wont ask."
"We figured that was the best idea, especially because he's in nothing but lederhosen."
England shuddered. "Very, very small lederhosen."
France smirked lecherously. "I see no promblem."
"Hey!" Prussia exclaimed. "You're all just jealous of my overwhelming awesomeness. You know you all wish you could look this good!" He crossed his arms, pouting childishly. "Fuck you guys, I'm glad I have my own cell."
"Wanker." England grumbled, rolling his eyes. France pouted.
"But mon ami, I was not complaining."
The President held up his hand tiredly. "Can someone please just tell me how you all ended up here? It's almost two in the morning and I'm tired."
"Well," Prussia began, "It all started when I was kicked out of the strip club-"
"Not. You." The President hissed. Prussia immediately sat back down.
America stood dramatically, flashing everyone his signiture grin. "Let the hero handle this."
From the far corner of the cell, England tisked and rolled his eyes. "Better sit down, Mr. President, we may be here a while."
"It was a day like any other…" America began animatedly, "Our hero awoke and heroically ate a bowl of Cocoa Puffies, leaving not a drop of milk behind…" The President swiftly took England's advice and pulled a chair to the front of the cell.
Yep, it was about time he faced facts.
There was no fuckingway he was going back to bed any time soon.
Silly boys, what did you do to get yourself in trouble this time? XD The next chapter will be America's recount of this night of chaos, so make sure you come back for that! I'm sure it's going to be freaking nuts.
Sooooo I made a forum! I talked about it before in another fic, but I finally made it! It's called Hetalia etc, and its basically just for fans to talk about Hetalia, life, love, me, whatever! So you guys should go check it out, cause it's pretty lonely right now. XD
Till next time, my friends!