Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. I don't own the inspiration for the idea, although I do own Jeremy!
A/N: I don't know why I'm writing this. Again, it is very angsty and I hate that! Hmm…more studying will have to be done on the reasons. This is set somewhere in the future. As my fantastic beta BuJyo pointed out, this is a very real possibility. Grab some tissues…I think you'll need them. I hope you enjoy!
"Are we there yet, Daddy?" Jeremy impatiently asked his father, while trailing his finger along the petals of his daisies.
Marshall smiled at his son's enthusiasm. At least one of them was excited. Marshall ruffled his son's hair. "We're close. Don't pick on that petal. You're going to destroy the flowers before we even get there."
"If it didn't take so long…" Jeremy complained, trailing off.
Marshall couldn't help but smile again. Jeremy's impatience was so much like Mary. In fact, everything about Jeremy, his green eyes that flashed and narrowed dangerously when he was angry, his many expressions, his cranky nature in the morning, reminded Marshall of Mary. The dark hair was the only thing that assured Marshall he had a hand in creating Jeremy. After all, there was no doubt that Mary was Jeremy's mother.
"Is that it?" Jeremy asked pointing.
Marshall nodded, his throat closing up, the way it always did when he stood here. He was sure that no matter how many times he saw it, the headstone that bore Mary's name would always bring tears to his eyes and bring a choking lump to his throat.
Jeremy ran ahead of his father and when he reached the headstone he set the flowers down gently. "Happy birthday, Mommy. We got you flowers for your birthday. Daddy said your favorite were daisies so that's what I bought. I bought them with my own money too. The money that I got for my seventh birthday two months ago. Aunt Brandi and Grandma Jinx gave me money and a few toys too. Of course, Uncle Stan and Aunt Eleanor always give me money any time I see them. Not to mention Memaw Abigail and Granddaddy Seth. Daddy says they all are spoiling me. Daddy also said you would have been proud of the way I'm growing up. He always tells me you can see me, so I'm trying really hard to be good, Mommy. I want you to be proud of me." Jeremy pressed a kiss to his index finger and then connected his finger with the headstone. "I love you, Mommy."
Jeremy stepped away from the headstone and went to sit under the big tree that was close to the headstone, but far enough away that he shouldn't be able to hear Marshall. Jeremy had always been instructed to sit under the tree when he was finished talking to his mother because Marshall didn't want Jeremy to see him crying, or hear him talking to Mary.
Marshall walked up to the grave. The tears had already started. They always did after hearing his son talk to Mary. Marshall knelt down by the grave and put the lilacs down on the ground. "I know you would kick my butt for bringing you flowers. I wasn't going to buy any, but Jeremy told me I should. When I told him you would only love the flowers coming from him he told me I was ridiculous and told me I had to buy some too. And now you would be calling me a softy.
"You would be proud of him, you know. He is so much like you in every way. His green eyes always flash and narrow when I tell him something that makes him mad. He rolls his eyes at me when I'm being ridiculous, like with the flowers, and that smile that always comes after the eye roll brings back memories of you. He hides things that he doesn't want me to know about, like that picture of you and me he has hidden in his closet. He also tries to sleep in five more minutes every morning, and he's not old enough to drink coffee yet, so he's always cranky until a more reasonable hour comes around. He does try to sneak sips of my coffee though, and I can't help but think that is like you too. Taking things that are mine…although you never sneaked around while doing it.
"Everyone loves him and definitely spoils him. Brandi, Peter, your mother and my parents are bad enough, but they are nothing when it comes to Stan and Eleanor. Every time he comes to the office they have something new for him. I have told them to stop, but they never listen. By the way, he doesn't like the girl who poses as my partner. I can't stand that girl. You do know that she will never really be my partner though, right. That will always be you.
"As for me, I still miss you every second of every day. If you would have just waited for back up that day you wouldn't be here right now. You wouldn't have left me all alone. You wouldn't have left me to raise Jeremy by myself and I wouldn't be wondering if I'm raising him right. Do you know he wants to be a marshal? I didn't know what to say when he told me that. I needed you there. I always need you, Mare. There are so many things that you are missing that I want you to see. There are so many things that we are missing together. You were only my wife for five years. I miss you so much…"
At that point, Marshall broke down. He had tried to stay strong for Jeremy and that's why his tears were usually silent. This time though, he couldn't help the sobs that broke through.
Jeremy heard his father and, although he knew he was supposed to stay under the tree, he got up and walked toward Marshall. Marshall's face turned up toward his son and Jeremy began to speak before Marshall could scold him for not staying under the tree. "Don't cry, Daddy." Jeremy wiped one of the tears away with his thumb. "Mommy wouldn't want you to be sad. She wouldn't want you to cry."
"You're right, you know," Marshall whispered to his son.
"You were right first," Jeremy reminded Marshall.
Marshall enveloped his son in a hug. Marshall remembered what Jeremy was talking about. Marshall had told the boy those same words one night when he was upset about not having a mother.
"She loved you so much," Marshall whispered close to his son's ear.
"She loved you too, Daddy," Jeremy whispered back to Marshall.
Jeremy pulled away from his father. His lower lip was trembling and there were tears in his bright green eyes. "Is it okay to cry?"
Marshall pulled the boy back into a hug. "Of course."
Sitting on the ground with Jeremy in Marshall's arms, they both cried. Marshall crying for what he would never have again, love and true happiness. He cried for what Jeremy would never experience. The love of a mother, the love that only Mary could give.
As they sat there crying, rain began to fall from the sky. Gentle and cold drops pelted father and son. Jeremy again pulled back from his father. "We made Mommy cry."
When Marshall's face looked confused, Jeremy rolled his eyes, smiled a bit and began to explain. "You have always said Mommy is up in heaven looking down at us, watching us all the time. She is seeing both of us cry and she doesn't want us to be sad. Since we are sad and since she is seeing us sad, she is sad too. She is crying."
Marshall smiled at the little boy's innocence. The little boy's ability to see his mother in rain from the sky. Marshall knew he was exactly like Jeremy. He looked for reminders of Mary everywhere; the strongest one being the small child standing in front of him.
Marshall gave the boy a short hug. "Let's go home."
Jeremy looked at the headstone one last time. "Goodbye, Mommy. I'll see you soon."
Jeremy began to walk away as Marshall whispered, "Goodbye, Mare. I wish you could see your son now. You would love him. I love you. See you soon, darling."
Well, what did you think? Was it good? Was it bad? You should review and tell me! And about the darling, while Mary would hate it, I do think Marshall would do it, regardless. And thanks to BuJyo, for the suggestion of Abigail as the name of Marshall's mother. Okay, now you can review…please?