I guess this I kinda a continuation of Deidara's Computer but I'm not really going to connect the two. XP And I have to say this, I said everyone but Pein and Konan, and I think Zetsu is technically a spy and if Sasori is alive, Tobi isn't part of the Akatsuki. JUST SAYIN'!

And the website is real, so feel free to check it out! I'm actually an Opportunist Seme with Chibi Seme traits.

Oneshot! Enjoy!


Everyone in the Akatsuki except Pein and Konan were in the living room bored as hell. Sasori was tweaking one of his puppets on the coffee table. Kisame was flipping through channels with Kakuzu sitting beside him on the couch. Hidan was sitting on the floor by the stitch man, still covered in blood; thus he was not aloud to sit on the couch. Itachi was sitting in the recliner, not paying much attention to anything; sipping tea. Lastly, Deidara was laying on his stomach against the old carpet, searching the web with his laptop since he was finally aloud back online.

Right when he was about to check his email, a random IM popped up with no user listed. It said:

'Everyone in the Akatsuki needs to take this quiz on this website! SemeUke . com '

The blonde blinked at the screen a few times, quite curious. Not able to help himself, he clicked the link to show a dark purple site. Noticing a weird quiz, he took it eagerly to see what it was all about.

But he ended up frowning, annoyed with his results. So he asked:

"Danna?" He looked to the redhead not to far off.

"Hm?" The elder said not looking up.

"Am I dramatic, un?"


"I am not!"

"Brat, please. Just this morning you were threatening to blow up the entire base just because you couldn't find your hair tie."


"Why do you even ask?" Sasori finally looked at the now sitting up blonde.

"Because I found a site and it says I'm a Dramatic Uke, un."

"Good lord brat, can't you stay out of trouble at all?"

"I can so! And who says I'm always an uke, hn?"

"What are you talking about?"

"This quiz says what kind of seme or uke you are, un."

"Hmph, suits you just well then. You certainly are an uke, and you are plenty dramatic."

"Ha! Damn straight!" Hidan, who was on the opposite side of the couch, and who also had been listening to their conversation, intervened.

"Well I guess it makes sense, un. Especially when you're a Sadistic Seme." The blonde grinned mischievously toward the puppeteer, who gave him a raised eyebrow.

"How could I be such a thing if I've never taken that stupid quiz of your's?"

"I took it for you. I do know you better than anyone after all, Danna, un."

"Give me that!" Sasori grabbed the laptop and placed it next to his puppet on the coffee table. Quick to taking the quiz the brat had just done for him, he, sure enough, got Sadistic Seme…

"Told you, un!" Deidara grinned in triumph as he looked over the other's shoulder.

Hidan scoffed. "Not like it was hard to guess, dumbasses."

"Hn? What do you mean?" Deidara looked at the violet eyes that mocked him and his partner; not the wisest thing to do…

"Come on! The second someone ticks you off, you blow something up. Or if something happens that isn't even your fault, you go sulk in a corner. Plus you wear fucking make up! And puppet boy here," the Jashinist pointed to Sasori with his thumb. "Literally has a cord to stick up your ass along with needles and poisons. Of course he's sadistic as hell!"

"Hidan, you should learn to watch your mouth." Kakuzu glared at the smaller man who only glared back, creating a struggle between the most argumentative couple in the Akatsuki.

"Oh yeah? Lets see what you get, un!" Deidara placed the computer in Hidan's lap with some force and a grin.

"Ha! I'm probably a Fucking Awesome Seme or somethin'!" The silver haired man started to click away, and two minuets later… "What the fuck? I'm an Uke!"

"That wasn't hard to guess." Kakuzu rolled his eyes down to the now fuming man.

"What kind?" The blonde asked not feeling so alone.

"I'ma Badass Uke… But still an Uke!"

"Like Sasori said, suits you." Green eyes connected with violet, and lightning stuck between them.

"Fine! Lets see what you get 'Kuzu!" Hidan let the computer drop into the stitch man's lap, making him go "oomph!" in the process.

Two minuets later with all curious eyes on the dark skinned man, finally…

"It says I'm a Don't Fuck With Me Seme."

The room was silent for a second, that is until Deidara had the guts to grab the small computer and clicked to a different page, only to stare dumbfounded.

"That's actually… a perfect match, un."

"Serious? They fight all the time, I'd think they be opposites." Kisame said speaking for the first time.

"Then why don't you take the quiz Kisame, un?" The blonde handed the blue skinned man the portable device, who's response was a grin.

"Ah, what the heck? Might be interesting to see what I get and all."

Another few minuets ticked by, and Kisame grinned in the end.

"Says here I'm a Chibi Seme."

"Really? That works just fine for you Kisame, un." Deidara smiled to his bigger friend, which in turn caught Sasori's jealous side.

"Brat, you don't want a repeat of last weekend do you?" The redhead said pretending to work on his puppet.

"What? No! I still cant sit right, un!"

"See! The puppet is fucking sadistic! But that's not the problem here! I want my status upgraded!"

"Face it Hidan, your ass is mine."

"He's right, you can't just go from uke to seme, un."

"I don't fucking care! Do I looked like a whipped sucker?"


"What you'd say fish ass?"

"You can't blame anyone else for being inferior, Hidan."

"I've had about enough of you puppet man!"

"Hey, leave Danna alone, un!"

The mass of voices merged into one loud uproar. Continuing of a good five minuets, one quiet voice (compared to the others) spoke up, silencing all with what they said…

"It says I'm a Flaming Uke…"

Dead silence was the only thing to be heard as all turned to look at none other than Itachi Uchiha. After they blinked a few times, their eyes then turned to Deidara, who was the only one who knew what each title meant.

"If you think about it… He fits all the categories, un. Outgoing, intuitive and sexy as hell. The only thing that would seem out of place is he's not social at all, un."

The Uchiha shrugged as they all quickly turned back to him.

"But he does fit perfectly with the Chibi Seme, which is what Kisame is, un."

"I guess… that's good?" Kisame looked at him a little taken back in the moment.

After a minuet or so of an awkward quiet, Tobi came spinning in the room.

"Leader-sama wants to see everyone for a meeting!" Another spin out the room and everyone followed with grumbles.

Deidara grabbed his laptop and went to follow everyone else, but he was suddenly grabbed by the collar and was dragged the other way toward the rooms.

"Danna? Shouldn't we be going to the meeting, un?"

"No, we have to take care of your punishment first."

"What punishment? What for, un?"

"For calling Itachi sexy."

"But that-! Now come… That's not-… Un…" The blonde gave in, knowing his defeat was inevitable. He truly was an uke.

"And Dei-chan?'


"You're not aloud on the computer again."