Disclaimer: Is Karin dead yet? No? Well then it's obvious I don't own Naruto.
Armed with a razor in one hand and rope in the other Sakura believed she was ready. Today was the day. Today was the day when she was finally going to get over her irrational fears that Lee's bushy brows would transform from caterpillars into killer butterflies that will destroy all of Konoha. And do you know why? Well, simple really. Sakura was going to shave his eyebrows off. All of them. She would leave nothing behind.
Stealthily she left her apartment and being all sneaky like she started walking towards where Lee trained with Gai. Actually, now that she thought about it, she would shave Gai's eyebrows too. So being her sneaky self, she made it to her destination without getting caught.
Lee and Gai hadn't arrived yet so Sakura squatted down on a tree branch and waited…and waited…and waited.
"Damn where the hell are they?" Sakura is obviously very pissed, for she has been squatting on this very uncomfortable tree branch for almost five minutes.
"Sakura, what are you doing?"
"Ahh!" Sakura (naturally) fell off from the branch she had been (uncomfortably) squatting on for the past (now) six minutes. "Sasuke! What are you doing here?" Sakura asks from the ground. She's sitting on the ground laughing uncomfortably as Sasuke glares at her from above.
"I believe I asked first Sakura."
"Well you didn't save me from falling off of that branch."
"Tch. What kind of ninja are you? You should have sensed me coming and even if you didn't you should have been able to stay on that branch. Stop doing that Sakura!" For you see all the time that Sasuke was talking Sakura was moving her mouth acting like him.
"Stop doing that Sakura!"
"Haruno." Sakura is now standing up with her hands on her hips, looking up at the Uchiha.
"Sakura!" Sasuke pinches the bridge of his nose.
"Fine, if I tell you what I was doing here will you stop?"
A sigh then, "I was heading out to train with Naruto when I saw you."
"Well that's a completely mundane answer, Sasuke. Spice it up for me."
"Fine." He practically spits out. "I was battling a giant dragon and just as I won I saw the most annoying princess of them all sitting on a branch with a razor and some rope in her hands, so of course, I being her prince, had to come down and protect her from whatever consequence her mischief will obviously bring her."
"Aww! Sasu-cheeks! Is that your way of telling me you like me?"
"Hn…" Sakura jumps up onto the tree branch and kisses his cheek.
"Well if you absolutely must know what I'm doing here, then I'll tell you. You see I have this, well irrational, fear that the bushy brows of Gai and Lee will transform. Instead of just being caterpillars, they will be butterflies and fly off of their faces to reek havoc over all of Konoha! So I, Sakura, have come to eliminate this possibility."
"With a razor and some rope."
"Well der! The rope is to hold them still. The razor is to eliminate their brows."
"What about shaving cream?"
Sakura just shrugs, "Who cares?"
"True." Sasuke nods, deciding to go along with it. "So…after you save Konoha…do you wanna go out for lunch?"
"Okay! As long as it's not Ichiraku, I've had enough ramen to last three hundred thousand life times."
"Bye." And Sasuke hops off, "Let me know how your world saving plan goes." He calls over his shoulder.
Sakura waves, "I wonder how many lifetimes worth of ramen Naruto has accumulated…" but before Sakura can continue wondering, Gai appears with Lee nowhere in sight. Oh well, Sakura thinks, this will just make it easier.
Sakura launched herself at Gai.
"Sweet youthfulness of youth, what are you doing?"
But Sakura (now latched on to Gai's head) didn't explain she just put her razor to work. And then as soon as she was done with that...well she tied Gai to a tree. But it's OKAY she will release him soon. Maybe.
Sakura doesn't notice Lee walk onto the field until Gai starts yelling at Lee to run.
"Run like the youth Lee! Save yourself!" Gai calls out in vain.
"Holy youth! What happened to you?" Lee walks closer to inspect the damage, only to have Sakura land on him and put her razor to work once again.
Soon she is done with Lee as well. She ties him to the same tree with the same rope and skips away happily.
"We are horrible ninja's Lee. We could not fight the power of that youthful young woman."
"She has more youth than the both of us combined!"
"We need more training, Lee."
"Yes! We shall run five hundred laps around this village as soon as we are released!"
"On our hands!"
"With our legs tied behind our backs!" Gai shoots Lee a weird look. Maybe Kakashi was telling the truth. Maybe there is something wrong with Lee…Nah, what does Kakashi know anyway?
Three hours later TenTen and Neji show up holding hands.
"Hmm…Lee and Gai aren't here yet…"
"It must be the power of DESTINY!" Cue music in the background with Neji standing in a random pose with his finger pointing out in front of him, as his other hand rests on his hip in a fist. As soon as the awkwardness has passed, Neji and TenTen are heavily making out.
"YOUTH!" Both Gai and Lee shout out. I mean, it's loud when only one of them shouts it out, but with both of them, well then, your eardrums shatter.
"What are you guys doing tied to that tree?"
"More importantly what happened to your eyebrows…and hair…?" Neji asks.
"Well the ever youthful Sakura, Shaved our heads and removed our eyebrows…also by shaving…and tied us to this tree."
"SHE DIDN'T EVEN USE SHAVING CREAM!"
Sakura's voice from a distance calls out, "BE GRATEFUL I DIDN'T PLUCK ALL THE HAIR OFF!"
The men shudder. "You know," TenTen states, "you could have broken free from that at any time…It's just plain and simple old rope." Lee, Gai, and Neji look down and sure enough they Gai and Lee can break free.
"Idiots." Neji says, smacking his forehead.
"Hey, you didn't notice it either." TenTen smirks. Neji glares.
"No need to point that out."
"Thank you, youthful TenTen." Gai states, stretching, "We will run five hundred more laps on our hands for failing to recognize this as normal rope, correct Lee?"
"Yes, making it a youthful grand total of one thousand laps!" Gai hops onto his hands and speeds away.
"Wait for me!" Lee calls out, jumping onto his own hands and just as he's about to head off, he looks over at Neji. "You better watch out Neji, I think you may be next." And with that, Lee speeds off into the sunset that magically appeared out of nowhere, since it's not even noon yet.
Neji feels his hair. "You really think Sakura would do that to my hair?"
"Maybe…but we're alone now Neji." TenTen slides up next to him. "We can continue where we were left off." But Neji blatantly ignores her efforts.
"I may be bald in a few more hours." TenTen huffs in annoyance. "Would you love a bald man, TenTen?"
"If that bald man is you, then yes." She goes up to him (once again) and kisses him. He kisses back for a few moments before freaking out over his hair again.
"But then I won't be pretty." TenTen sighs in annoyance; obviously she has horrible taste in men. "I can't stand being ugly TenTen!" She heard that Kankuro's in town…maybe they could get together leaves a clone with Neji and heads off to find him. She needs a man. One who isn't afraid of loosing his hair to the wrath of Sakura. And since Kankuro's only in town a few weeks at a time (and he avoids Sakura like the plague), well maybe he was perfect for her.
Yeah...don't know what happened at the end there...but oh well. :P
And let me know if you want me to write a fic with your favorite pairings or a plot of your choice. ^.^