Nothing Else Matters
Nothing has changed as far as the storyline goes or things being said/done. I have simply cleaned it up, took out any words that didn't need to be there (due to me not knowing what I was doing when I first posted) and maybe changing a few words to flow better. Other than that, everything is the same, just prettier lol Please read the A/N on the very last chapter if you have already read the other chapters of NEM! Thanks
I own none of these characters or Twilght, it's all Stephenie Meyer.
I am just finally having my own way with them. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
AydenMorgen beta'd this chapter.
Rated M b/c of language and later on sexual content, also violence. If you don't like the thought of blood or people getting the crap beat out of them then this might not be for you. This is my work, do not copy it or translate it without my permission b/c I've worked hard on this.
I am so tired, tired of it all. I am tired of what life has given me, and of what was taken from me. Do I really deserve what was dealt to me in this life of mine? Was it fair that they are gone and that I'm still here? I know, I know. I'm lucky that I'm alive, I have a life and a family, but still, it's hard to know that I survived and they didn't. It's not fair and yes, I know, nothing in life is fair, but it still doesn't mean I have to be okay with it.
I can remember it all too well, I was just a child then, but I do remember and it keeps haunting me day in and day out. I want to forget, to put it behind me, but I can't. It won't leave, it haunts me like a ghost. The memories are like those stupid picture cards that the shrinks had me look at after it all happened; they're there and messed up but I remember them all. They said I had PTSD, yeah what-the-fuck-ever. You try finding your parents dead and then come see me, show me that you're normal and don't suffer any lasting effects.
I have a wonderful family that loves and adores me. My mom, who dotes on me and my dad, the doctor, has always been there, even when I've gotten myself into trouble. My little sister that has always been nothing but a big ol' ball of energy; she's like my own little pixie. And then there's my brother we're closer than most brothers because we're only a few months apart. When my birth parents were taken from me at the young age of six, this wonderful family of mine took me in. I was devastated. I watched it happen, saw them die right in front of me. A boy—no, a person- could never forget something like that. Hell, if you can, please tell me how because I sure as fuck would love to know.
So back to me. Yes, I'm conceited. But what can I say? If you are asking how I deal with all this shit; that's easy, I fight and while getting paid to do it. It's every angry man's dream come true, right? To fight and not get into trouble for it, to not end up in jail after a night of drunken debauchery because you're so fucking pissed off that all you want to do is throat punch some motherfucker who just raised his eyebrow at you the wrong fucking way. Well, I get paid to do that. Only I'm not drunk when I do it, and like I said, I get paid. Not that I need the money, my family has more than enough, but it's still a nice ego boost to win and make some cash. It sure as hell doesn't take the pain away, but it gives me an outlet for some of the frustration and anger I have.
I'll admit I am still missing things in my life. I'm alone with no one to talk to. Sure, I'm close to my siblings, but I still want that someone who gets me, who understands me, who can deal with what I do. In my line of work, it's hard to find someone who is okay with it. I'm a Mixed Martial Arts fighter. It's not a pretty sport and I get hurt, often.
Hell, my body is so fucking sore most days that I can't even stand in the shower long enough to rinse the sweat and blood off. I've broken so many fucking bones -which includes just about every damn finger on each hand- torn muscles and tendons. I've had concussion after concussion, bruise upon bruise and cuts that look like I fought with a tiger. I wouldn't trade it or change it for anything though, and that's why I am sitting here in my fucking room, in my fucking house drinking myself into a fucking stupor... because I'm lonely, because no one can put up with what I love to do, let alone my shit.
I'm broken. I know it and anyone can clearly see that. I have no life. I practice, I sleep, I eat, I fight and I win. I have yet to lose a match. Yes, I'm gloating. It's who I am, so fucking full of myself, it annoys the shit out of people. Well, that and my anger. Now if only I could find that piece of me that I've been missing, that I long for, whatever it may be.
For now, I'm going to focus on my career. I want to enjoy living here, where I can go to the beach when I want, well as long as it's not raining. Where it's sunny ninety percent of the fucking year and we have two seasons, hot as a hootchie's cootchie and warm. Okay, we have a third, but it fucking hardly ever happens, it does get cold but rarely. I love it here. You can be in the city or, if you want, you can find somewhere remote and quiet where you can get away. I also love that I can go swimming anytime that I damn well please and I do, in fact. I take advantage of that shit. It helps with my muscles, plus it's an awesome workout. There are so many benefits to living in the Sunshine State.
We moved here after I got into trouble back in Washington, because I couldn't control my anger or my temper.
"Fuck you motherfucker! I'm gonna beat your goddamn ass to a pulp. Your family won't even know who the fuck you are once I get done with you. You have fucked with me for the last fucking time, you little bitch," I spat at the asshole, who had taken a swing at me thinking he was some goddamn macho man.
"Yeah? Fuck you, Cullen; you think you're the fucking shit. You think your shit don't stink or that because you're some pretty boy you can do whatever the fuck you want? Guess again, I'll put you in your place asshole," that's the asshole who thinks he's so fucking macho.
"Why don't you try motherfucker? You got one hit in, you should see your face and what my fists and knuckles did to it. That pretty brown skin of yours isn't gonna be pretty later on when all those fucking bruises I gave you show up! I told you, don't fucking bring up my past. Don't talk shit about my family, like you know what you're talking about. You don't know me and you don't know anything about my fucking past, so keep your mouth fucking closed or I will permanently close it for you." I was so pissed that I was shaking. Adrenaline was coursing through my body, infecting every ounce of my blood. I wanted to pound the hell out of him more, but my brother was holding me back and he's the only one that can handle my ass or I should say I will let handle my ass.
The asshole walked away mumbling under his breath, pissing me off even more.
That was the last fight I ever got into in Washington or at all, until I started MMA. My parents thought it would be best if we got the hell away from there. I just couldn't stop fighting, no matter what I did and that was the last straw for them and the school. They were threatening to expel me and I couldn't have that on my record. Despite being a hardass, smart mouth, conceited asshole, I am extremely smart and I wanted to do something with myself. I wanted to make all four of my parents proud of me. So that's how we ended up here in Florida. They figured we couldn't get much further from Washington than here and maybe a different climate and area would calm me.
This is where I got started into Mixed Martial Arts, or as it's widely known MMA. It's a big thing here in Florida. People even order pay-per-view fights to see it. There are MMA schools all over the state.
I was at a gym one day working out my frustrations, trying to keep myself from beating the living shit out of someone, when I saw a couple of people going at it. While I was beating the shit out of the punching bag imagining so many different faces on it, I happened to glance over and see them. It was fucking cool as hell. It was fighting, the shit I loved to do and always tried to instigate and here they were doing it in a public gym. I walked over and watched them.
When one of them looked over at me for a brief second, he got knocked down. That's all it takes. One second of lost concentration or focus and you can lose. He got up and came over to me. I asked him what they were doing and he explained to me that they were practicing Mixed Martial Arts. He said it was a combination of different fighting techniques like wrestling, Jiu-Jitsu, boxing, kickboxing, Thai boxing, full contact karate among many more. They asked me if I wanted to join them and try.
"Fuck yeah, that would awesome!" was my eloquent reply.
They then proceeded to show me some of the moves and told me the technical names for them. Who knew all this time when I was fighting, I was doing some these same MMA moves?
That's all there was to it. That little taste got me hooked and I haven't stopped since.
That was six years ago, when I was seventeen. I went professional at twenty and continued from there. After all this time, I have no plans of stopping in the near future. Yeah, sure, I want to meet that someone. I want to have my very own family, but right now, this is my life. It's not like that someone is going to just drop into my life one day and change everything in my life just by a look, or a touch. That's all fairytale bullshit. This is real life, and in real life, things like that don't happen. Someone who will quickly make my life seem as if nothing else matters but them and their happiness, it doesn't happen… right? Or does it?
Sooo? What did ya think? Please please please review, I'm not above begging lol You will see I have no shame whatsoever. I also have no shame in rec'ing fics or people that I think are just plain ol awesomeshades (Bleriana, that's for you babe :D) So if you have fics that you think fit into the category of being awesomeshades let me know and I'll check them out and rec them to death.
You can follow me on Twitter I am DaniaMCullen!
Thank you again for taking the time to read this. If you review I will respond back :D
Disclaimer: I am not an expert on MMA, UFC or any other martial arts or types of fighting amateur or professional. I have done some research and know people who are involved somehow with the sport. I chose it b/c it's something that interests me and it's different from other fics. This story is something that came to me just out of the blue and has been bugging me to get written. As I am not an expert on the sport of MMA, I will be taking some creative license with it in my story. If you want more info, Google or Swagbucks are both awesome places to look for more info.