Promise Me You'll Try
A/N: Heyy! Ahaha so, since I'm sick and have no social life when I'm sick, I decided to write a one-shot! It is my first one, so I hope it is good! So yeah, this is a short note. Um, it is titled after the Jennifer Lopez song! It's really pretty! So yeah, read and enjoy! Review at the end!
Disclaimer: Don't own shiet.
Some people consider it a virtue; something to be proud of. Others consider it to be a curse; something that should be hidden if not already gone.
Who do I agree with? The later. Perhaps it's because I'm still a virgin at the ripe age of twenty-one; don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin. I just think that it's...frustrating. I'm a junior in college, and I'm a gay virgin. Sometimes I just feel like going out and getting completely shit-faced so that I can make it easy for someone to take it, but I never do because I want to remember my first time. As dorky as it sounds, I've been saving myself for someone special. Maybe that's where I went wrong. None of my past boyfriends were "the one", of course that didn't stop us from doing other things. But that's irrelevant. The point that I'm trying to make is that 'm tired of waiting for someone special, and I just want to lose my virginity.
I snapped out of my dreary thoughts of sex and looked at my friend Rosalie who sat across the table from me. We were currently in a local coffee shop, since we had both just got out of our last class of the day, in fact it was our last class of the week.
"Hey Rose, can I ask you something?" I asked her as I began twirling the water bottle in my hands.
"Mhm." She nodded as she took a sip of the chai tea that she had ordered.
"What was it like when you lost your virginity?"
She let the warm tea slide down her throat before smiling at me, "Wow, that totally wasn't random." I simply shrugged so she went on, "It was...short, and just a tad painful. The guy came after like...three humps. What the fuck is that shit, right? Ugh, I was so mad. But, why do you ask?"
"Well," I rubbed the back of my neck as a nervous blush made it's way onto my face, "I want to lose mine."
She nodded slowly, "Well, I can't really help ya there. I've never had a dick up my ass before."
"Yeah I know that," and now, so does half of the coffee shop, "but you don't like, I don't know. Do you know someone that might be interested?" I asked, trying to ignore the strange looks that I was receiving from a few people at other tables.
Rosalie shook her head with a small shrug, "I don't really know any gay tops, only bottoms. But, you know one that would really be able to help." She smiled.
She was right. I knew a top, in fact I lived with him.
As I walked down the sidewalk to get to my one bedroom apartment which I shared with said top, I couldn't help but smile as I noted how nice the late Spring whether was. I was so ready to just go home and relax. The top that Rosalie was referring to was my roommate, Jacob Black. If anyone could help me get laid, then it would be him. He was with someone new practically every night, of course, he never brought them home because he wanted to respect our living space. Although it should probably be a turn-off that he just goes out and fucks guys almost all of the time, I still think that he is sexy as hell. But then again, I guess that's what most people thought when they saw him. He was, in one word, perfection. If anyone could help me get laid, it would be him. But, since I'm being completely honest, in the back of my mind I was always wishing that just for once, it would be me that had the luxury of feeling the pleasure that I'm sure only he can give a person.
As I unlocked the door to my tiny apartment, I walked in, threw my bag on the floor next to the door and went into the bedroom. Jacob and I shared the bedroom, each of us had a small bed on either side of the room. Boxes with our stuff sat on the perspective owner's side of the room. We left our clothes and what-not in boxes since we figured that it would save space in our already small apartment. I moved to my bed and flopped down on the bed, moving so that I could be on my side.
I looked out onto the floor in the center of the room to watch Jacob do his daily exercise routine, a part of the day which I tried not to miss. I watched as he did push ups, paying attention to every muscle working on his shirtless body. His body moved so fluidly, it was as if push ups were nothing him, as if his body was a mechanic push up device. As my mind still lingered on my fantasy of giving up my virginity to this guy, I couldn't help but fantasize about being underneath him as he lowered down, almost touching the floor.
"Jake, how do you get a guy into bed?" I asked, deciding not to beat around the bush and get straight to the point.
He paused, his strong arms holding him in the up position. I watched as sweat worked it's way down his equally strong back, all the down into his shorts where his ass resided.
"Guys are easy. Just, tell them whatever it is that they want to hear and they go along with it smiling." He said before returning to his workout.
"Well, what do they-"
"Seth, you're a cute little kid. You know that right puppy?" He asked, calling me by the nickname that he had made for me. "Maybe instead of sitting here talking to me, you should be out there trying your luck." He rolled onto his back to start doing sit-ups.
"Well, I would, but what if I like...need someone to help guide me through the process? Like, someone that I knew I could trust." I inhaled a long deep breath, my senses being overrun with the smell of his sweat. "Like, oh I don't know, you?"
He let out a loud laugh as he sat up and looked at me, "Do it with you? Seth, I couldn't do that. You're like my baby brother." A wide smile lit up his amazing face as he went on with his sit-ups.
"Yeah...I know." I said, sounding sad. I would never be more than that to him. No matter how strong my secret feelings were for him, I knew that he could probably never reciprocate them for me. I continued to silently watch as he tortured his body into further perfection. Maybe, just maybe, if I looked more like Jake then I wouldn't be having the problem that I'm having. Maybe then Jake would want me, even if just for one night. But no. I was far too skinny. I had little to no muscle. I ran a hand over my own weak body, wishing that I could look more like Jake. The only thing that I had going for me would probably be my nice tanned skin color.
"Well, would you know anyone that might be interested in fucking me?" I didn't have any time to watch my language. I wanted this to be done.
"What?" He asked, as he continued to exercise.
"Ya know, like one of your many boyfriends. Like seriously, I think that you could spare just one, for a single night."
"No way. I wouldn't even think about setting you up to go with one of those guys. Seth, you don't need a quick hit, you need a boyfriend." He smiled.
"No. I don't want a god damn boyfriend. I want to get this virginity shit over with. I'm done holding on to it. I want to feel what you and Rose talk about whenever we talk about sex." I fully sat up in my bed and shifted so that I was facing Jacob from my place on the bed. "C'mon. Seriously, you'd be doing me a favor if you did it with me. I mean seriously, you've done it with how many guys already? What's another name on the list?"
He stood from the floor as he stretched his arms around, "You're too desperate pup. Guys can smell that shit on you, and it scares 'em away." He moved to grab some free weights that sat by his bed and began lifting them, working his sweaty muscles.
"Tell you what, I'm going out tonight to try and score anyways, so why don't you tag along. We can go on the hunt together."
I let myself fall, face first, down onto my bed and buried my face in my pillow. "No thanks, I've got some shit to finish for one of my classes."
"Puppy, you don't have to lie. If you don't wanna go, then don't go."
I kept my face buried in my pillow with my eyes closed, listening to Jake grunt throughout the rest of his workout. It wasn't long before he was stripping down to take a shower.
Although I had began forcing myself to accept the fact that Jake would never love me the way that I love him, that doesn't mean that his blunt advice and total lack of interest in the option of him fucking me didn't hurt me. It did, in fact, part of the reason why I was hiding my face in my pillow was because my eyes were brimming with tears. I then I went back into the pity party that I threw for myself as I thought about how I was so unattractive that nobody would want me. But then I figured, if Jake was with me when we went out to look for a guy, I would stand a much better chance. Just as the thought had crossed my mind, I heard wet feet pad against the floor. I looked up from the comfort of my pillow to watch as Jake dried his shower wet body with a towel. His ass was fully exposed to my eyes, the sight making me instantly horny.
He turned around to give me a confusing look, his cock was now exposed to me and I sat up to get a better view, "Where?"
"Out with you. I'll go."
"Ya know, I'm not as innocent as you may think I am."
He smirked as he stepped into a pair of tight boxer briefs, "I never said you were innocent. Only naive. But don't worry pup, we'll find you a guy that is totally worthy of you and all your puppiness." He smirked.
"Ya know, I'm the same age as you so you can't really call me a puppy." I said as I rolled my eyes.
"Sorry pup, but I can't help it. You just remind me of a little lost puppy trying to find a master." He shrugged, "No offense. But don't worry, we'll find you someone. We'll go to East Village to go bar hopping."
By the third bar, there was still no luck. The handful of guys that Jake had pointed out to me, were quickly rejected. The problem was that they either had little to no interest, or they looked nothing like Jake. I wanted someone like Jake. Strong and sexy. We were on our way to the next bar, which he had assured me would have the popper of my cherry inside. The only problem was, the line to get in was fucking huge.
Jake led me to the front of it, where the bouncer stood by the velvet rope.
"Hey love." He smirked as they shared a tight hug, and even a small kiss. I couldn't help the sudden jealousy that was sparked inside of me. "Are the pickings good tonight?"
"Yeah, there's definitely someone in there that will catch your interest. But I would really rather have you stay out here and keep me company." The bouncer smirked.
"Sorry love, no can do. The kid needs a quick fuck ASAP." He smirked. A small blush crept onto my face as I was pulled into the club, or bar. Whatever.
Either way, I was pulled to the bar inside and Jake ordered margaritas; he didn't have to pay since the bartender had a crush on him. Amazing. I quickly picked mine up and began drinking as he continued to point out different guys.
"Ew no." I shook my head furiously as the tequila and other shots that I had been consuming finally started to affect my body.
"Geez pup, what the fuck are you looking for? Maybe if I knew, things would be a bit easier!"
I want you.
"Someone interesting." I said before taking another sip. "But I'm starting to get just a little buzzed, so maybe things will be easier."
"Hmm...how about that one?" He pointed to a blond that had curly hair, and was pale. Too pale.
"Ha, no. Look, this was obviously a bad idea. I'm just gonna go. You stay and get your fix. I'm gonna catch a cab." I whispered into his ear so that he would be able to hear me over the music.
"No way puppy. We came together so we leave together. Let's just get one more round then we can go."
I nodded as I downed the rest of my margarita and picked up the new one that Jake's admirer had dropped off. We both turned around again, searching through the crowd trying to find someone that could possibly pique my interest. Then I found him. Slowly moving through the crowd. He looked good. Messy bronze hair wildly untamed and slightly pale skin. I brought my lips up to Jake's ear again and pointed him out in the crowd.
"How about him?"
He smiled, "You read my fucking mind pup. Wait here." He said before heading off into the crowd. I watched as he professionally moved up behind our potential lover and whispered in his ear. It didn't take any longer than a minute for him to begin leading him to me.
"So, this is him?" He asked in a smooth, sensual voice. Now that I got a closer look at him, I saw that he really wasn't too bad. He had muscles, but not as much as Jake. His face wasn't too bad either, but he wasn't as sexy as Jake. He would do just fine. "You guys look like twins. Not just brothers." The guy said with a smile as Jake moved next to me.
"Brothers?" I asked.
"Just go with it pup."
It didn't take long for us to be standing at the door of his basement apartment. Apparently, his roommate was visiting family somewhere, so he had the place to himself. Once we were inside, I noticed that the beds were set-up like our own back at home. Jake took the initiative and pushed the guy, who's name was still unknown to me, on a bed and began to make out with him furiously.
"W-wait. This isn't my bed." The guy moaned through Jake's kisses.
"I really don't give a fuck." He growled and turned to call me closer. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked me in a low voice.
I nodded, even though my stomach's churning seemed to say otherwise. He was staring deep into my eyes, searching for any sign of hesitation. Before I could even comprehend what was going on, I was being pulled out of the guy's apartment and down the sidewalk.
"J-Jake, what are you doing?" I asked as I tried my best to keep up with him as he pulled me by my hand.
"Seth, you deserve better than that shit. You deserve way better than a one night stand." He growled as we continued to make our way down the street. I recognized this place. We were close to our home.
I didn't speak as we made our way to our door, which I was now pinned up against. Jake's hands on either side of my face while his body pressed up against mine.
"I wish...I fucking wish that I could be the guy that you deserve Seth. But I, I just can't. I've wanted you for so long, but I knew that you deserved better than me so I always had to control myself. Fuck! But tonight, with that guy...I just couldn't let you do that."
"But...but..." I couldn't form a sentence as his confession seemed to shock any sense that the alcohol hadn't already gotten rid of. "I want you too. So bad. When you rejected me earlier...I wanted to cry."
"I'm sorry. I just...you deserve someone that can give you a relationship. And I don't know if I can do that for you."
I didn't speak instead I just closed the small gap between us and connected our lips. I wanted him to lose control and love me the way that I had been craving for. It was such a fucking turn on when he growled into the kiss as our lips moved against each others in a heated dance of passion. I moaned when his tongue brushed across my bottom lip. I all to willingly gave him my permission to enter my mouth as I parted my lips and his tongue began exploring. It was so unexpected when he broke away. He quickly opened the door and led me to a bed. Resuming our kiss, his hands quickly had my pants undone and sliding down my thighs. He broke apart once more to fully remove my pants. We bot took this as a chance to remove any, and all clothing that covered any part of our bodies. I was pushed back onto my bed and lay on my back as my body was exposed for his eyes to inspect. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the disapproval that would surely be written on his face.
"Fuck, seeing you like this makes me so fucking horny." He growled as he climbed on top of me and began kissing my neck, "You're so fucking beautiful. It fucking turns me on pup."
I moaned as his words had killed any sense of doubt that I was feeling at this moment.
"I need to be inside of you pup." He growled into my ear as I felt him slip further away from me slightly. I heard the rustling of fabric, and soon the tear of a package and shortly after came the pop of a lid. "This is going to hurt pup. But only for a little bit."
"O-okay." I whimpered as I felt his slicked up fingers press against my hole. My eyes were still closed, but I squeezed them tighter as I felt him begin to push a finger inside of me.
"Fucking shit pup, you're so fucking tight." He groaned as he claimed my lips again.
I let out a muffled whimper as another finger began entering me. He began to pump them in and out of me, and the pain didn't seem to be faltering at all. Then, he hooked his fingers and brushed against some spot inside of me.
"Ah fuck." I moaned as I turned my head to the side from the sheer pleasure that I had just felt.
"Alright pup, you're ready. Now, I'm gonna fuck the shit outta you."
I know that this should've scared me, or at least instilled some kind of fear in me, but it didn't. Instead, I was so fucking turned on it was unbelievable.
I felt the head of his cock press against my entrance, and slowly he began pushing the head in. My hands, which had found their place on his back, began gripping it tightly, but finding nothing to hold onto. As he pushed himself further inside of me, I had to bite my lip to fight back any chance of a whimper escaping my mouth. My nails began digging into his back as the excruciating pain began to turn overwhelming.
"Ah, God pup. You're so fucking tight. I fucking love it." He groaned once he was fully inside of me. He didn't move, allowing me to adjust to his size, I assumed. "Pup, open your eyes and look at me."
I did as he told me too and my eyes were greeted with the sight of Jake's slightly sweating face as he bit his lip in such a sexy manner. I realized that it must be hard for him to resist the natural urge to just fuck me silly as I'm sure he always did.
"Pup, I want you to promise me that if I hurt you in anyway, that you'll tell me. I won't be mad. I just want you to be comfortable." He leaned down to claim my lips in a slow, yet amazingly passionate open mouthed kiss.
I felt his hips slowly pull away, and then slowly come back. His cock felt so huge inside of me...it was fulfilling and made me feel whole...while at the same time I felt the pain as it slid in and out of me. I was ready for more.
"J-Jake...go faster...p-please?" I asked in a moan while I tried my best not to sound like I was begging for him to fuck me like I knew he wanted too.
His thrusts picked up, and the power of them increased as well as he began slamming into me with ease. He obviously knew what he was doing since he had hit that spot inside of me again and again with each thrust that he made.
"Ah, ah fuck pup. I fucking love feeling my cock in your tight ass."
Wow. He talks really dirty.
"Ah shit!" I moaned as I felt him begin to pump me furiously, his timing in perfect synch with his hips.
It was becoming too much for me, and soon I felt release coursing it's way throughout my body, and my nails had once again starting digging into the perfectly tanned skin of his back.
"Oh God Jake...I'm so...I'm so close." I moaned as he was nipping and sucking on my neck.
"Fucking cum for me pup. Just let it all go." He growled against my neck as he continued to abuse my prostate.
"Ah...ah...ah fuck Jake!" I moaned his name, so loud that I'm sure the people in the next door apartment could hear me, as I came all over his hand and our stomachs.
His thrust had become crazy powerful and erratic. Everything that he was doing felt fucking amazing to me. Even the simple action of running his hands up and down my flat stomach felt orgasmic right now.
"Jake...Jake, flip us over." I moaned my request.
He growled as he did what I asked, staying inside of me the whole time.
"Put your hands behind your head Jake." I had leaned forward to whisper in his ear before taking his earlobe in my mouth and began to gently suck on it.
He groaned as he worked his hands behind his head. I sat up straight as I took a deep breath and rested my hands on his strong chest before I began moving my ass up and down on his cock. I wanted to make him feel as good as he had made me feel. And from what I could tell, I was doing a pretty good job so far.
"Ah fuck yeah pup. Ride me pup. Ah fuck yes, ride me pup." He groaned as he watched my ride him just like he had told me to. "Ah shit pup, I'm so fucking close. Just, uh shit, just keep going pup." It wasn't long before he was letting out a mix between a growl and a moan as he released all of his white hot seed into the condom.
I was tired, so I collapsed onto his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me. I moved so that I would be laying on my bed beside him rather than on him. I hadn't noticed how sweaty we were until now, when I kissed his sweat beaded chest.
"Fucking shit pup...that was fucking amazing." He said, through our heavy panting.
"Yeah, it really felt amazing." I agreed with a smile.
After that he fell silent. I didn't like the silence that had settled between us so I broke it.
"Jake," He grunted in response, "I've been thinking about what you said...about a relationship."
"Seth, I...I don't know-"
"Stop. Just listen. I'm not asking you to sit here and promise me that you will always be there for me, or that you'll never be the reason that I cry because we can't promise things like that no matter who we are. Things happen Jake, but that's all in the future. So Jake, all I'm asking you to do...is promise me you'll try. Promise me that you'll try not to be the reason I cry. Promise me you'll try and love me like I love you. Just...promise me you'll try."
He stayed silent for awhile, and I took this as a rejection, so I got up from the bed and moved to the bathroom, but didn't get far before his strong arms wrapped around my waist and he held me from behind. I felt tears begin to form in my eyes.
"I promise." He kissed my neck, "I love you pup."
"I love you too Jake."
"I promise..." He whispered again.
I know it's on your heart
That a love like ours shall never fall apart
You're so afraid of the rain
So I will take your hand
And I'll love you in the best way that I can
And I only expect the same
Don't promise me forever
Don't promise me the sun and sky
Don't pretend to know you'll never make me cry
Just hold me now
And promise me you'll try
Though I'm sure of what I feel
Never thought a love so true felt so unreal
And I'm a little afraid myself
But if you love me day by day
With an honest heart and just a little faith
Baby time will tell the tale
Don't promise me forever
Don't promise me the sun and sky
Don't pretend to know you'll never make me cry
Just hold me now
And promise me you'll try
A/N: Alright! There it is! My official first one-shot! So pretty please, can you review! Ahaha I really want to know how I did, and how the smut was. Ahaha just let me know! And if you liked this, then check out my stories too! Ahaha