Genre: Humor/Romance
Pairings: ZukoxAang
Warnings: Yaoi. Don't like? Don't read.
Time: 100 ASC - Post War
Setting: Upper Ring - Ba Sing Se
Summary: After the war, the Gang stays in Ba Sing Se for a much needed vacation. But what happens when Toph decides that everything is getting much too monotonous and brews up trouble, taking them to a play that portrays Aang and Zuko as a gay couple? And what happens when, during convincing the whole of Ba Sing Se that they aren't gay, Aang and Zuko find that they are convincing themselves as well?

Drunken Professions


The yell echoed loudly throughout the small living room of Iroh's apartment but Zuko, Aang and Toph did not flinch under the wrath of Sokka's temper tantrum. 'Had to be done.' Toph said as she leaned back against the couch and propped her feet onto the table.

'What? How? WHY?' Sokka yelled, looking very much like he was on the verge of pulling his hair out.

'We're sorry, Sokka. But we had Miyako to deal with. And besides, Katara had know. So we couldn't search for you and all.' Aang said with a tentative smile.

'Do you even know what me and Suki went through out there? There were so many PEOPLE! I could very easily have let something slip but no, I had to go on like a stuttering idiot in front of them, picking through my words so that I could defend you two idiots!' Sokka burst out as he angrily pointed at Aang and Zuko.

'Really?' Aang said in a small voice.

'And what did you do to Katara? Did you drug her?' he demanded.

'And...stop.' Toph said suddenly. 'Look, Snoozles, you're bordering on the edge of becoming entirely incoherent. We did what we had to do. Katara had just outed these two geniuses, who by the way, ignored half of what I told them. You weren't where you were supposed to be and neither was Suki. I went easy on these two yesterday but now, I'm holding everyone of us accountable for Zuko and Aang kissing on the balcony where any idiot could have seen them.' Toph said sharply.

'Kissing?' Sokka said, as he paled. 'What were you THINKING?'

'You don't get to reproach me. Your sister was the one who decided that she wanted to have one of her crazy fits in front of a whole room of people.' Zuko said angrily.

'Don't bring Katara into this.'

'Bring her? She insisted on being dragged into this situation. In fact, she threw herself headfirst into this situation.' Zuko yelled.

'How the hell is that even remotely MY fault? From all I've gathered, it's your fault that she even became like this in the first place. You and him.' Sokka said as he stared pointedly at Aang.

'Shut up, Sokka.' Zuko said coldly.

'Zuko, sit down.' Aang said suddenly. 'Yes, Sokka. It was partly my fault that I said what I did at the party. I shouldn't have done that.' Aang said as he tugged hard at Zuko's hand to make him sit down. 'I'm sorry.'

'Why are you apolo-' Zuko began but fell silent as Aang glared at him.

Sokka, whose face had been previously flushed red with anger, reddened even further with embarrassment as he averted his gaze from Aang's. The tribesman seemed to deflate and then plopped heavily onto a chair across from them. 'It's okay.' He mumbled as he ran his hand through his hair and heaved a sigh.

Silence reigned over the four of them for several seconds before the door to one of the rooms slid open and Suki sidled out. 'How is she?' Aang asked.

'She just has a few bruises on her back.' Suki said as she plopped down onto the couch. 'I can't figure her out. One second she looks like she's going to cry, telling me how sorry she is for ruining your life.'

'Oh,' Aang said.

'And then, she starts on how much she distrusts Zuko and thinks he's going to rape you.' Suki said with a shake of her head.

'Right.' Zuko said with raised eyebrows. 'I can see she'll be alright.' he muttered but no one replied.

Zuko rubbed a hand over his face, a look towards the window telling him that it was time to go. Right on time, a resounding roar tore through the air and the fire bender stood up. He neatly circled the low table and slid the door open.

Morning sunshine flooded into his and Aang's temporary apartment and he descended from the front steps just as Appa landed with a loud thud. 'Well...' he said as Aang landed lightly onto the ground.

'Well...' the air bender countered with a playful smile.

Zuko opened his mouth; however, once he realized that the only intelligent thing he could think to say was 'well' he clamped it shut again. He watched in silence as Aang's smile wavered at the edges and then disappeared completely.

'How's Katara?' Zuko asked.

'She's good.' Aang muttered as he scuffed his shoe against the ground.

'Has she forgiven me yet?' Zuko asked skeptically.

'It's only been a month, Zuko. She'll take her time.' Aang reminded.

'Right,' Silence fell between them once again and Zuko was just racking through his mind to find something appropriate to say when Aang brushed past him into the house. The fire bender felt a shudder run down his spine as Aang's hand brushed against his wrist and the air bender smiled up at him.

Abstinence, stress and hormones did not work well together.

Zuko had been reciting the thought over and over in his mind for several weeks now but at that particular moment, he was tempted to shake Aang hard and say it aloud. But that would be unfair to the air bender since he himself was the one who'd been abstaining all along.

The fire bender watched in silence as Aang air bended his single bag out from the apartment and onto Appa's saddle. Zuko stared at the bag before turning to Aang. The word had slipped from his mouth before he could even stop himself. 'Well...'

'Yeah,' Aang said, a smile tugging at his lips.

Zuko flushed and exhaled sharply in an attempt to regain a modicum of his composure. 'Sorry.'

'We'll be fine, Zuko.' Aang said.

'Yeah... I suppose.' Zuko said with a shrug.

'I'll visit you.' Aang said.

'If they'll let you, that is.' Zuko reminded.

'I have Appa, don't I?'

'Yeah, I suppose.'

'What time is the meeting?'

Zuko shuffled uncomfortably. 'Tomorrow morning at eleven. The whole world'll know then.'

'The whole world already knows,' Aang said with a grin.

'Is that supposed to make me feel better?' Zuko asked skeptically.

Aang rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly before smiling. 'Well, is it working?'

'Not exactly.' Zuko said heavily.

'Are you nervous?'

'Aang, please stop with the questions, already.' Zuko said tiredly.

'Sorry.' Aang said with a grin.

They were silent for several minutes and Aang was just sliding the door to the apartment shut and locking it when Zuko spoke. 'I am...kind of nervous.'

'Don't worry.'

'Actually, its the kind of nervousness you get where you feel like you're going to throw up.' Zuko said breathlessly.

Aang looked at Zuko with a small smile. 'Really?'

'Yeah.' Zuko said, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment and his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed nervously.

Aang lightly took Zuko's hand in his own and pulled the fire bender towards him. The air bender leaned up but his lips had barely grazed Zuko's when the fire bender jerked away. 'I don't want to throw up in your mouth.' he said hurriedly.

The ridiculousness of the statement startled a laugh out of the air bender. 'You're silly when you're nervous.' Aang remarked before firmly placing his hand on the back of Zuko's neck and pulling him forward into a kiss.

Zuko shakily exhaled into the air bender's face once he'd pulled away, earning himself a childish laugh.

'I need...' Zuko began but immediately fell silent as Aang looked up at him through his eyelashes.

'Yes, Zuko?' Aang said sweetly.

Zuko felt his cheeks heat up and hastily looked away just as Aang dragged his tongue across his own lips. 'I need... a drink. Yes, that's what I need!' the fire bender said, his voice faint as Aang's knee found its way between his legs.

'Sure?' Aang asked.

Zuko swallowed before nodding, not trusting his voice to remain steady if he spoke. A small smile flitted across Aang's lips as he moved away and Zuko wasn't sure if he was glad that the air bender had moved away before he'd gotten an erection or not.

'Come on, then.' Aang said and before Zuko could protest, he slipped the key to the house into his pocket and began to drag him down the street.

Two hours later, Zuko wasn't sure why he'd agreed to a few hours with the Gang when, had he not decided to 'need a drink', he could have been having outrageous, amazing, mind-blowing sex with Aang in an empty house to which they had the key. Why? Why!

Zuko rubbed a hand over his face and looked down at his glass, slightly stumped to see that it was empty. He tried to move forward but slumped back again as Iroh's apartment swayed. He tried to shove a drunk and half-asleep Toph off his arm but her grip around him was vice-like.

Again, why?

Zuko growled before ignoring the pain in his butt long enough to improve his posture and shove Toph and Sokka clean off his arms. He heaved himself up and stumbled into the kitchen where Iroh and Aang were sipping some tea.

'I hate you.' the fire bender declared as he pulled out a chair next to Aang and slumped into it.

'I never told you to drink so much.' Aang said softly.

'Not you. I don't hate you, Aang.' Zuko murmured, a very odd giggle spluttering from his mouth as he put his head onto Aang's shoulder.

'That's nice, Zuko.' Aang said as he took a sip of his tea.

'You're nice!' Zuko slurred loudly.


'You're so nice, Aang.' Zuko said headily.

'Thank you, Zuko.' Aang said as he shot the the fire bender a sideways glance before taking a sip of his tea.

'Let's go back home. I can think of so many places where we could do it.' Zuko murmured, promptly causing the air bender to choke on his tea. 'I bet you'd look wonderful sprawled on the kitch- mmph.' Zuko said but his words were cut off as Aang clapped his hand firmly over the fire bender's mouth.

'Er, I think we should go.' Aang said, his skin feeling like it was on fire as he gingerly placed his cup onto the table and avoided Iroh's gaze.

'Yes, of course, Avatar Aang.' Iroh said, his beard twitching as he tried to suppress a smile.

'Could Zuko sleep here for the night? I'm not sure I'll be able to get him back to the house without know...' Aang said, his flush deepening as Zuko dragged his tongue across the air bender's jawline.

'Yes, of course. Why don't you take Zuko to his old room?' Iroh said merrily.

'Thanks, Uncle Iroh. Good night.' Aang said as he carefully dislodged Zuko's mouth from his neck and began to half drag, half lead him out of the kitchen.

'Good night, indeed, Avatar Aang.' Iroh called from the kitchen, chuckling lightly.

'Honestly, Zuko.' Aang murmured as he slid open the door to the fire bender's bedroom and entered before sliding it shut behind him. He almost tripped over his legs in his hurry to get to the bed before the fire bender decided to arch against him in an incredibly... provocative and un-Zuko-like way.

Aang dumped the fire bender onto the bed before proceeding to almost tearing his shirt in the process of taking it off. His hands traveled down to the sash on Zuko's pants and he was just about to undo it when he looked up at the fire bender, only to see him staring down at him. His face was steadily going an odd color and Aang suspected that it was because the fire bender was holding his breath.

'Right. Not going there.' Aang said before pulling the blanket over Zuko's bare chest.

'Won't you join me?' The fire bender said in a manner that Aang supposed would have been seductive had Zuko not been half-asleep and very, very drunk.

'The sun's setting. You should get some sleep. We have to leave at midnight else you won't reach the Fire Nation in time.' Aang said softly.

'Hurm.' Zuko groaned before rolling over onto his side to look up at Aang

Aang smoothed down the fire bender's tousled hair before pulling the blankets up to his neck. 'You can't fall asleep with your eyes open, Zuko.' he said before blowing out the candle on the nightstand.

'Aang...' Zuko began headily.


'I love you.' he murmured into the silence.

Aang's fingers, which had been picking at the hem of his shirt froze as he looked down at Zuko. 'What did you say?'

'I love you.' Zuko repeated, his eyes sliding shut as a small smile tugged at his lips.

The silence stretched out for several minutes and Aang was just about to speak when a loud snore echoed throughout the room. The sound startled him out of his thoughts and he looked down at a sound asleep Zuko. Aang lips curved into a bright smile but his voice was barely more than a whisper as he spoke.

'I love you too, Zuko.'


*solemn silence*

*clears throat and glances around furtively*
My longest, stupidest, funniest, randomest, ridiculousest, most review garnering fic has finally come to an end. I kinda feel sad xD
I decided to leave a few loose ends so that you guys can think about it for two seconds before writing a review and going on your merry way :P Sorry to all those who wanted Katara to star in this chapter but eh, she didn't deserve a spot :P

So, now that this fic has come to an end, I'd be forever ecstatic if you guys would review. One last time, no bribes this time xD

I really, really hope that you guys enjoyed this fanfiction. I really enjoyed writing it, that's for sure :D
Thank you so much for all the reviews, favorites, author alerts and story alerts. You guys are awesome beyond words.

Now, run along and read my new Zukaang fic XD