Love is Fire
To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another. I placed mine in Damon Salvatore and he had just torn it to pieces. No, in fact, he had ravaged my happiness, my love for him; everything. It was irreparable the damage which he had just done.
"Well, I guess this is good bye" Damon shouted down the hallway as he spun round for the last time and saluted the three of us; flashing one of his signature smiles. I flinched, as, he spoke his final words. Elena glanced back at me; I could see the worry in her eyes. Stefan carried on glaring at Damon; his teeth gritted and fists clenched tightly by his sides; trying hard to control his anger; he was seething and Damon knew it .I didn't know where to look, I was confused, I just couldn't get this around my head. I wanted to say something, but, I just couldn't; I choked on my words. Was he really just going to leave like this? Leave me?
All my questions were answered the moment he strode through those front doors; never once showing a shade of regret; never once looking back – I felt a piece inside of me harden. I knew from that day on that I was no longer the sweet and innocent Bonnie that they ALL wanted me to be. The Bonnie who was pushed around and stomped on like a lousy, moth-ridden rug; I would never be hurt again like Damon had just hurt me.
I began to feel tears pricking at my eyes, my insides throbbed, and there was a heat which radiated the shame and humiliation I felt. I snatched up my purse and ran for the back entrance no longer trying to conceal the tears that had come crashing down my face.
"Bonnie! Bonnie! Come back!" I heard Elena and Stefan frantically shouting from the living room as I smashed through the back door and stumbled into my car. I scrabbled frantically to fit the right key into the ignition whilst wiping away the tears streaming down my face. With the key in I turned and revved up my car. I looked up to see if the road ahead was clear and… I couldn't breathe. He was still here, inside of his car, my eyes locked with his; it was as if we were held in that moment of time forever. No, Bonnie don't do this to yourself. Just snap out of it. My eyes swerved back towards the road, my heart felt as if it were about to shatter into a thousand pieces; I slammed down the clutch, pushed at the gear stick and sped home.
I pulled-up at my driveway and got out hitting the car door shut; my chest ached ever so badly, I tried hard to hold back my tears as I pushed open the front door, raced through the hallway and up the stairs. I had absolutely no desire to speak with anybody.
"Bonnie! Bonnie darling I've got some dinner down here if you'd like some. Oh, Elena just rang too! -She wanted to check if…" my mum shouted up the stairs, stopping me mid-way.
"I'm not hungry and I don't care to call Elena right now Mom" I shouted down, stifling back my tears.
I kicked my bedroom door shut and jumped on the bed pulling the quilt towards my face, so that it would quieten the heaving sobs that I could no longer control. I felt light-headed and couldn't catch my breath. I dug my nails deeper into the pillows and willed to forget everything. I wanted it to all go away!
They say Love is fire. But whether it's going to warm your heart or burn your house down you can never tell. I could tell; maybe I could tell from the very beginning that things would end badly.
I pray that he never returns. I NEVER want to see him again. I HATE him! I hate him! I hate him!
I even hate myself. I wish the world would swallow me up. I wish I could die…