AN: Happy Birthday, Naelany. I hope you enjoy this. Thank you OCDJen for pre-reading this for me.
Characters belong to SM
The sun glittered off the ocean as I sat there in the sand peering over it. Jasper wasn't here, he wasn't coming. He was the only one I had left that hadn't betrayed or abandoned me, until now.
Today was my birthday, the day he always came to see me, always. Why the fuck wasn't he here? He'd made me promise that I would stay here no matter what today. As the sun sank lower I regretted that promise. I felt like a fool sitting here, being stood up by someone I wasn't even dating anymore.
Five years, we hadn't dated in five fucking years and he still had the power over me to make me do whatever he wanted to and I hated myself for it.
Jasper was the only one that hadn't kicked me out of their life after I came out of the closet right after high school. My parents, my friends, everyone; they forced me out of their lives rather quickly. I didn't make new ones out of fear that they would do the same thing to me. However, at the time I didn't know he was also gay.
Later he admitted he was gay, but he couldn't do anything about it. His family would never allow it, even though they actually knew. Jasper was expected to marry, have children, pass down his father's company to them, anything less was not acceptable.
Unable to trust anyone else we both explored each other, our bodies and ultimately fell in love. That was a mistake on my part. I already knew what would happen, knew we could never have a future together.
Jasper never had a chance, he didn't look for any girl to marry. No, his parents did it for him. They found a tiny thing called Alice and she was cute and sweet and forced into this marriage just as Jasper was. Alice couldn't understand why her parents wanted her to marry someone that they knew was gay. Their father's businesses would become more powerful when they were united, that was the only thing we could think of.
Alice knew I was Jasper's lover and even suggested that it was okay if we still wanted to be. She could never be what he wanted as a woman, but I refused. Even though his family knew, we were still hiding in some invisible closet that I wasn't even in anymore. I would not be his dirty little secret that he was constantly having to hide from the outside world.
Distancing myself from Jasper was hard, but it had to be done. The day before Jasper got married was the last time I'd ever made love to him. I didn't even go to the wedding, I couldn't. I came here to this beach and mourned what could have been had we been two different people.
Jasper and I were still 'friends', but I tried not to see him too often, it was just too painful, even now. He always came to see me here on this very beach, the one I'd mourned his marriage, the one he'd brought me to on my first birthday after everyone in my life had shunned me.
The last five years I'd fucked around, never settling too long on anyone, only to get my heart ripped out again. Jasper hated it, wished I would find someone new, especially as he and Alice were trying to have children. Snorting at that I wondered how well that worked out for them. As far as I knew they hadn't had any yet though.
Looking around at the emptying beach I thought about getting up and leaving, no matter what promises were made. No one ever kept any of their's to me. As soon as the sun was no longer visible I was out of here. This birthday had only been filled with contemplation of things I didn't want to think about.
The sun was just slipping over the edge of the horizon reminding me of Jasper's gold hair and dark blue eyes. A sob escaped me before I knew it and I gulped air to try and stop the pain. I shouldn't hang on to him anymore, he had Alice and a life he never wanted, but at least he was living. I was barely existing as it was.
Deciding I had no choice now but to leave I started to get up and was stopped by arms slipping around my waist. I hadn't heard anyone approach me, too upset to notice. Legs spread beside mine and the arms pulled me close to a hard chest. The smell was distinctly Jasper's and I leaned back into him remembering a time when this was easy. Then it hit me, this wasn't easy, Jasper wasn't mine anymore. Attempting to pull away from him, Jasper held me tighter.
Lips pressed against my neck and his breath tickled my ear as he said, "I need you. Please tell me you still need me, too." What? I had to be hearing things.
Turning my head to look at him, he had tears streaking down his cheeks. It broke my heart to see him so broken. He never even looked like that when he left me to be married.
"What happened?" I asked him while wiping the tears away.
"Alice and me, we finalized our divorce today," he told me softly, unable to look at me. What divorce?
"What? Why didn't you tell me you were getting divorced? What about trying to have kids?" I fired off at him in confusion.
Sighing he leaned his head on my shoulder and told me, "We couldn't have kids, not even with help. Alice can't get pregnant." My heart broke a little for her, she didn't deserve that. "There was no point in us staying married if she couldn't. My family wasn't happy about it, but I told them we were getting divorced and I was living my life whether they wanted me in it or not.
"Alice wanted me to come to you and tell you that I l... love... you, she's always known I should be with you, not her. I couldn't tell you though, what if my family forced me to stay in a marriage neither of us wanted in the first damn place or get in another one?"
"Why didn't you at least tell me you were getting divorced? I know we haven't been together for a long time, but I thought we were still friends," I asked a little hurt that he didn't confide in me.
Blowing out a breath, he said, "I don't want to be your friend, Edward. If I told you about the divorce it would get your hopes up that we would be together and what if it didn't happen? You would be more heartbroken than you are now."
Protesting, I claimed, "I'm not heartbroken, you don't know me at all."
Encircling his arms even tighter around me, he argued, "I know you almost as well as I know myself. I watched you before I even came here to sit down. I watched as you thought I wasn't coming, that I broke a promise to you, just like everyone else. I never want to break any promise to you, so I chose not to say a word, until it was final."
My heart was lifted a little at the thought that he didn't break his promise to meet me here. He never had broken any, he didn't give me false hope when their was none, not in our entire time of knowing each other.
"Please, tell me you still want me, Edward," Jasper pleaded.
"I still want you. I never stopped loving you, Jasper," I told him before touching my lips to his again for the first time in a long time. The only promise our lips made was to love each other, no matter what life threw at us in the future.
Settling back against his chest we watched as the sun disappeared completely before leaving to start our new life, together.