Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean.

A/N: This is completely and utterly stupid.

Of Weddings and Swordfights

"Just kiss!"

At Barbossa's words, Will and Elizabeth sealed their fate as husband and wife with a kiss, one so full of passion and yearning that it seemed as if time itself stood still for them and only them. All around them, bodies and swords clashed, their forms blurred in the swirl of Calypso's tempest.

Suddenly, without warning, a random sword flung with alarming accuracy by some random pirate (who, for purposes of this story, since he was never given a name, will be called Skippy) ran straight through the joined bodies of Will and Elizabeth, forming a shish-kabob of bleeding hotness.

"Maybe," Will muttered, "we shouldn't have spent five minutes in slow-motion kissing in the middle of a battle."

"Yeah," Elizabeth agreed. "That was pretty stupid."

Somewhere far, far away in the background, a pirate named Skippy watched with wide eyes as the two main characters keeled over onto the deck of the Black Pearl.

"Oh, shit."