Gone

Hello. So about a year ago I wrote a story called 'Gone' and a few readers asked for a sequel in Sasori's point of view, so here it is!

I don't own Naruto or anything related to it.

I'm so sorry Deidara.

This wasn't supposed to happen to us.

I don't know how it started or when it all came crashing down.

You have no idea what I would do to turn back time and fix all this.

It was about one year ago that this entire mess started. Akira had been a co-worker, nothing more, nothing less. He was pleasant to the eye, I suppose, with his icy blue hair and light gray eyes. I knew just about nothing about the man and I hadn't been interested in learning about him. Why would I? He had nothing to offer.

But, oh, he most certainly showed me everything he had to offer that night.

It had been a night out with some friends. Deidara, my boyfriend of nearly five years, had been sick and couldn't come. I hadn't even wanted to go in the first place, but they had insisted. After one too many drinks, I found Akira on the dance floor. His slim body moved against mine, grinding and touching places I would normally only allow Deidara to. My mind clouded, and my fate was sealed.

I woke up the next morning in a cheep motel, with a nasty hangover, and an equally nude Akira sprawled over me. I was shocked, disgusted even, that I had allowed myself to do such a thing. I had slept with a man I didn't even know. I had cheated on my lover. I had enjoyed it.

That thought sent me flying into the bathroom to empty my stomach.

All of my vomiting had woken Akira, who suggestively offered me a place beside him in bed. I had refused and gathered my cloths. I vowed never to bring this night up again, to completely forget about it and Akira. I couldn't tell Dei. I couldn't hurt him like that. I wouldn't lose him over a drunken mistake.

While I had gathered my cloths to leave, Akira talked. He asked me if my lover at home pleasured me as much as he did, did as many sexual favors as he did, make me as horny as I had been last night. I punched him half way threw his bragging. One, because he was so annoyingly full of himself, and two, because everything he said was true. Deidara dulled in comparison to Akira in bed, that was true, but I love the blonde and it didn't matter if a whore was a better fuck then him.

Just before I slammed the door behind me, I heard Akira tell me something that made me want to hit him again. "You will be back, Sasori. We both know you will be."

.

I swore I wouldn't go back to him. I told myself that Deidara was the only one for me. I convinced myself that it had been a one-time thing and that it would never happen again.

Akira didn't really agree with my little plan. He just shy of stalked me at work, going out of his way to be around me, secretly seducing me.

Itachi saw it before I did.

'Sasori, don't you dare.'

'What?'

'Think of what it would do to Deidara.'

'What are you talking about, Uchiha?'

'Just . . . don't do it.'

'Whatever helps you sleep at night."

But I did do it. I slept with Akira again and again. The pleasure he gave me was unlike any other. I was addicted to him, but I didn't mind. Deidara and Akira had never even met before, I told myself, there is no way he will find out.

Three months into our little affair, Deidara started acting distant. I panicked a bit at first. Was it possible that Itachi told him? I tried to not let anything slip. I showed him as much affection as I normally did, still loved him as much as ever. The only difference was that I had to stay at 'work' later then average. During those few hours of night, Akira and I would fuck each other's brains out without anyone knowing. I would return home to a sleeping Deidara and try to push my guilt away.. Deidara owned my heart completely. What I had with Akira was simply lust, nothing more and that would never change.

.

It did change though. Seven months into the affair, Akira dropped by mine and Deidara's apartment unexpectedly. I asked him why he had come over. He told me he had to tell me something. I allowed him inside and he fallowed me to the kitchen. We stood in silence for a while before I ordered him to spit it out.

I wish I hadn't.

Akira told me he was in love with me. He had been since the first night. He wanted to be with me, for me to leave Deidara. He didn't want me to leave again. I reacted badly to this. I insulted him and called him stupid for falling for me. I told him that I love Deidara and that he is nothing to me but a quick fuck. I told him that if he fell for me, I would have to end the affair.

Akira didn't get emotional like Deidara would. Instead, he threw himself at me, kissing me madly. I didn't push him away, but I didn't return the kiss either. Between hot kisses, he told me he loved me. He whispered the words again and again. It made me want to get sick. The sound of plastic bags crunching and of food hitting the floor broke us apart.

I had never seen something so heartbreakingly tragic as the look on my Brat's face. My heart stopped and my breath wouldn't come to my lungs. The silence was deafening, it seemed to last forever when it was actually only a minute tops.

I was the first one to move. 'Deidara' I said softly, pleadingly. Deidara broke at that. I felt a sharp pain in my own heart when a tear escaped his blue eyes. I hadn't even taken one step before Deidara was running. I called out for him, chased him, but Dei always had been a faster runner then me. I soon lost him in the confusion of the city. I searched for him for another hour before I returned home to wait for him.

I sat in our empty living room, thinking over what had happened and what I would tell Deidara. The hours seemed too short, because before I had come up with a reasonable explanation, Deidara was home. I told him that Akira was a friend from work who had dropped by suddenly and had forced himself on me. In a way, it was half true.

Deidara only looked at me with those sad blue eyes of his. When had his eyes turned so sad? For as long as I can remember, his blue eyes have been bright with excitement and thrill, or dark with anger and hurt, but I haven't seen his eyes so sad in years. Deidara then smiled at me and allowed me to hold him close. I kissed his hair and whispered how much I loved him until we both fell asleep on the couch.

.

It got better after that. I stopped seeing Akira as often and spent more time at home with Deidara. I hadn't even realized how much I missed being around the blonde, debating/arguing about art, and making fun of really stupid horror movies were the villains are pathetic and the victims are stupid.

I loved it. I loved having him in my arms. I loved playing with his long hair while he slept. I loved kissing those soft lips. I loved watching him as he molded his sculptures. I loved watching as the sad look in his eyes faded away. Why on Earth did I let this happiness almost leave me? When I thought of it, I would trade all the amazing, lust filled nights with Akira in for Deidara.

I wouldn't be stupid again. I wouldn't let Akira get to me again. All I needed was my Deidara.

.

'When will you just leave him, Sasori?' Akira asked me. It had been by chance that we met on the street one day. Akira had spotted me at one of the shops and had immediately glued himself to my side. He kept asking when we would meet up again, why I had been avoiding him, and when I would leave Deidara. I told him it wasn't going to happen, but he had other plans.

He purposely bumped into me on the streets and showed great affection to me, causing rumors to fly. He managed to convince our boss (I'm guessing that he slept with her) that I had been slacking in work or to give me a large project. I had to stay late and finish the work, so I had less time with Deidara and Deidara started to have doubts.

Akira, Deidara, and I were the newest drama in the town. We were a scandal. I denied being in a relationship with Akira, which was half true. No one bought it, saying that I would deny it. I knew that Deidara heard the rumors, but there was little I could do then remind him that I love him and try to dodge Akira. It frustrated me. Akira would not leave me alone, insisting that we are meant to be together. On more then one occasion, I threatened him. I told him to leave me alone. I told him that I never have and never will love him. I told him I didn't want him. He ignored them.

I hated him. I hated Akira enough to kill him. He was destroying my relationship with Deidara. I hated myself for starting all this to begin with. I hated seeing the sadness return to my Brat's eyes.

I told myself that it would get better. I told myself that the message would get threw Akira's thick head. I told myself that Deidara and I would pull threw this.

.

I was a fucking idiot.

I thought Deidara was okay. I thought he would never leave me. I knew he loved me.

The morning had been a normal one. I had been running late, but I still kissed him and told him I loved him before I left. It was when I got to the car that I realized that I had forgotten my cell phone. I then walked back up the stairs to our apartment. I remembered putting it on the dresser last night so I entered our room and saw something that would never leave my nightmares.

Deidara was lying on our bed, the perfect image of a beautiful mess. He was sickly pale. His breaths were shallow. His long golden hair was down. His blue eyes were clouded and starting to go dull. A sudden burst of color was thrown into the picture by the bright red blood that fell from his open wrists. His half-lidded eyes found me and a small smile graced his lips.

I stared at him for a second longer. I then dropped everything I had been holding and ran to him.

I was yelling, screaming at him, rubbish that even I didn't understand. I grabbed his wrists, putting pressure on them, praying that the bleeding would stop, but the warm liquid wouldn't end. The rational side of my mind told me he had lost too much blood and that there was no saving him. The desperate part of my mind told that side to shut the hell up and that he would live.

I continued to yell at him. 'Brat! You idiot! Don't you dare leave me! Deidara, stay with me, please!' It didn't matter how much I yelled though, he only smiled at me. Tears came to my eyes and slid down my face, but I didn't care much for them. I couldn't lose him, I couldn't.

'I love you, Sasori no Danna.' I watched as his eyes closed and his last breath left him.

It was quiet for a long time. I still held his wrists, even after they had gone cold. Tears still fell but I remained silent. Then it all hit me. Everything. I had lost my brat, my friend, my love. He was really gone. He was dead.

I threw my head back and sobbed out a loud scream. I broke down and held Deidara's dead body while I sobbed. He couldn't be dead. He couldn't.

I cried and I sobbed and my heart hurt and I just wanted to die so badly. I later looked at the sharp blade that Deidara had used. After a moment's thought and one look at Deidara's body, I grabbed the knife and placed it directly over my heart.

I'm so sorry Deidara.

This wasn't supposed to happen to us.

I don't know how it started or when it all came crashing down.

You have no idea what I would do to turn back time and fix all this.

But I can't, so I'm going to do the next best thing, and stay by your side.

I just hope that I can be sent to the same place as you.

I think I just created a horrible sequel, and for that, I am sorry. Dear God, Sasori is SO OOC.

I could have done a lot better job at this, but I still hope that you like it.