Hello guys! Welcome to yet another fic of mine. I really do sgtart entirely too many :( It's a sickness for which I have yet to find a cure. But oh well...Everything will get finished...eventually. So yeah... Hello and welcome to my latest AkuRoku fic. I hope you enjoy it!
Roxas blinked, staring up at the house before him. It wasn't particularly intimidating, wasn't looming in any way, or painted an ominous color. In fact, as far as houses went it was exceptionally welcoming- A modest two story house, pale blue with white trim, set atop a lush, green, lawn. There were pretty yellow curtains in the windows, and a little cobblestone path leading up to the front steps which led to a nice, unassuming, wooden porch. There was even a flower garden in the front with a delightful selection of plants in all colors of the rainbow. There was even a rocking chair, and little pinwheels, both of which moved in the peaceful breeze.
The scene was pretty much as calm and sweet as could be, and yet the very sight of this place filled Roxas with a sense of dread. He was cold, his palms sweating in his pockets, his heart in his throat. He could feel his stomach clench, threatening to be sick all over this perfectly un-swept, walkway. Because despite what one might think about a house like this, there was no sweet little old lady living inside, no cats to be seen. No. Inside lived his brother. And his brother's boyfriend.
Taking a deep breath, he climbed the stairs, each cozy little creek like a arrow through his heart. He shouldn't be here, he knew that. He had no right to walk up these steps, to intrude upon the peaceful little life that he knew that Sora had built here. No right to shake up his brother's cozy little life like a snow globe in an earthquake.
And that was what would happen, no doubt about it. It was inevitable. Especially considering that the last time he'd seen his brother had been five years ago, flipping him the bird before slamming the car door and speeding away, his last words thrown harshly in his face, leaving him stricken and very close to tears.
He sighed, scrubbing his hand over his face as his last image of his brother flashed through his mind, his hair messier than usual, eyes wide and shining, shoulder's slumped dejectedly.
What did he do after that? Roxas wondered, staring at the small peephole on the door. What is he doing now? He tried to picture his brother somewhere in this perfect little house, tried to imagine what he'd be doing now, and wasn't surprised to find that he came up empty. He didn't know the kind of things that twenty-three year old Sora did, didn't know who twenty-three year old Sora was, except that he was his last blood relation. And his only hope.
He shouldn't help you Roxas's mind whispered, He has no reason to. You don't deserve it. You were the one who pushed him from your life, ignored his calls until they stopped. He'll just slam the door in your face and he'll have every reason to.
Swallowing down those thoughts, Roxas brought his hand up defiantly, rapping it several times again the wood. Listening to the sounds inside. There was a TV on somewhere, Roxas thought, the muffled sounds coming through. Then...laughter. It was live, light and happy and hit Roxas like a punch in the gut. Because while he was sure that countless things had changed over the years, Sora's laugh hadn't. It was still carefree, the sound of pure personified happiness.
And he was about to dystroy it all.
"Hey- Get back here!"
"But the door-"
The laughter came again, but Roxas barely noticed it. His attention captured by the other voice in there, a surge of pure disgust rising in his throat. It was him. Riku. The pretention asshole who'd corrupted his brother. If he'd never shown up none of this would ever happened. If he'd never met Sora , never introduced him to his sick, promiscuious lifestyle, his brother would have never changed. He'd never have become this way so...wrong. No, Sora had started out a normal, good, kid, and if not for Riku he'd still be that way. He'd still be with Roxas...
He was scowling harshly, his hands clenching util the nails dug into the flesh, leaving tiny, crescent, imprints upon his palm. He was shocked out of his hatred however by the clicks of the lock, the door swinging open. He froze. There, in the doorway stood his brother. He was taller, his hair longer but no less spiky, just sticking out further from his head. His face had lost some of it's round, childishness, his eyes...there was just something about them that was different. Older. His nose was a little crooked, as if he'd broken it or something, his muscles more defined than before. He was still scrawney...just...not as much so. And despite those miniscule differences he was still...Sora.
He was staring at Sora, studying him, so it was inevitable for him to notice the change that went over his features. His playful smile dropped, his eyes growing by at least three sizes, still so impossibly blue. His hands went limp, arms falling to his sides, and he was...staring. Just staring, his mouth falling open a little bit.
After several moments of staring at each other, Roxas forced words out of his impossibly dry throat.
"Roxas! Wait-where are you going! Come back!" Sora was running, his voice desperate, needy. It had been that way for several days now, since everything in his life had gone so wrong. His usually cheerfully colored clothes were dyed black, the color of mourning, for the deaths they'd honored several days ago. There'd been nothing quite like it...burrying their parents. It was just... They weren't old, certainly not old enough for this. Only 18. Still practically children.
Sora had spent every moment since their deaths by Roxas's side, unable to handle this alone. Unable to make funeral preperations or even sit as the will was read. As they were each left ridiculous ammounts of money, it was all he could do to keep from crying. Roxas had been the strong one, the one to do those things and still hold him together. Hold him up.
"We can talk about this! Roxas we have to talk about this-"
"What's there to talk about?" He spat, throwing a suitcase into his car. "I fucking saw you..." He gave a light, humorless laugh. "Well, those words aren't really in the right order...are they?"
"What the hell do you think you're doing Sora? What the fuck?"
"And with him! Of all people! He's a guy Sora! You're not supposed to do that with men! It doesn't work!"
"Yes it does!"
"Heh." Yet another laugh was devoid of humor as he shook his head in disbelief. "That's you're defense? It's okay Roxas, we still found a way to do it. That doesn't make it right!"
"I was upset!" He cried. "I was upset and you weren't supposed to see but...but you weren't there and...and.."
"And I love him." The words came out on a choked sob, barely a whisper, but it was enough to curn the bile in Roxas's stomah. The revulsion seeped into his face, stabbing Sora straight through the heart.
"You don't mean that. You can't. Sora he's a guy, you're a guy. It's wrong."
"So what!" Sora exclaimed, throwing his arms wide. "So you don't love me anymore? I'm gay, so what. I'm still your brother." Sora sniffed, waiting for Roxas to say something, but he didn't. "I love you, more than anything. You're my brother. Please Roxas...please don't do this. Please... Don't you still love me?"
Closing his eyes, Roxas took a deep breath, letting it out slow, and when he was done, his gaze was cold. Unfeeling. "My life is fucked up enough right now without having some disgusting faggot for a brother."
With his middle finger in the air, he turned and calmly got into his car. Looking back, he caught sight of Sora, his eyes wide, breaths coming in uneven gasps, tears surely on their way. His lip was trembling. He looked...destroyed...and for a moment, Roxas wanted nothing more than to run over there and grab him. To fx things like he always did. They may have been twins, but he was born five minutes earlier, he was the older brother. It was just a natural instinct to want to protect Sora. But he couldn't...not now, because his head hurt. Because he too had cried, when his brother wasn't watching, he too had just burried his parents, and now Sora drops this on him?
He couldn't do this, couldn't handle it. His life was crumbling and this was the last thing he needed. It was wrong...a sin...just plain disgusting, and he expected him to be cool with this? Now of all times? It felt like he was taking advantage of him, like a betrayal of some kind, like a lie. He was angry and hurt and just...tired. So, so, tired, and just sick of everything. And so he pulled his eyes from his brother and turned them to the road, running his hand over his face, and pressed his foot down hard on the gas, as if able to outrun the world if only he drove fast enough.
Sora's voice was soft, disbelieving as he stood there, frozen in place. It was understandable, Roxas knew. Since his foot had hit the gas pedal five years ago he'd made no attempt to contact his brother at all. Sora had tried, he remembered, God how he'd tried. He'd rang up his cell a million times, left him messages in his office once he'd been employed, tried everything from E-mail to fax, spanning a range of emotions from sadness to anger to hurt. And Roxas had deleted each one, ignoring the instinctive pain each one brought, determined that Sora was the one in the wrong.
"Um...Yeah. It's me."
Sora blinked, staring wide-eyed at the man before him. He was taller now, taller than Sora by just a bit, his blonde hair as stylishly disheveled as always, his eyes alarmingly blue to match Sora's own. His face...his face was so familiar and yet foreign all at once, and the last one he'd imagined when he'd left Riku on the couch moments ago. It was both the face he'd most and least wanted to see, and one he'd given up all hopes of ever glimpsing again. And now that he was here, standing on his porch, all he could wonder was...
Roxas winced, though Sora's tone wasn't mean, or even angry. It was still just...stunned.
"It's.." He swallowed. "It's a really long story. Just...Hell, I'm screwed. Like seriously fucked over and...I...have nowhere else to go..."
He knew how pathetic he sounded right now, how low he'd fallen. After making no contact with the man for five years, he knew damn well that it was stupid to expect help. He still believed what he had said then, every word. But those words had put that...look...on Sora's face...and he wasn't quite okay with that. Either way, it wasn't right for him to come here now expecting anything and he wouldn't have if he'd had anywhere else to go.
Sora knew that too, watching Roxas's discomfort. He'd yet to look him in the eye, his hands clenching and loosening, his feet shuffling. He didn't want to be there, Sora could tell, and once the shock wore off that this was really Roxas and that he was really there on his very porch, the memories were free to flood back. The hurt. The way his heart had caved in on itself as his brother sped away, the most important person in his life just throwing him away. Abandoning him at his weakest for something he had no control over...something that was good.
It was just love. That was never a bad thing. Admittedly, he hadn't told Roxas he was with Riku before- Worried about a reaction, though not anything near that extreme- and it hadn't even occurred after their parent's accident. Roxas had been out all day and he'd wanted, needed comfort. Someone to hold him close and tell him it would all be okay. And Riku was good at that...So good at that. And he'd come over...and comforting had led to distracting and... it was then that Roxas had arrived back, hurrying to check in on his brother, knowing how he hated to be alone...
It hadn't taken long for Roxas to bail, for that to be the end. In one week he'd lost his parents, and his big brother and best friend. Looking at him now, despite the crushing sadness that nearly dampened his eyes, he couldn't stop the swell of love. Because this was still his big brother, and no matter what, he'd never hated him. He'd loved him too much...had never been able to stop.
And beneath that hurt and love was just the tiniest smidgen of hope. Because even though Roxas was clearly uncomfortable, obviously hadn't wanted to come here, he still had. He was here with him and he couldn't help but hope that maybe, maybe, this was the chance he'd been longing for. Maybe he could get his brother back. He knew he'd been loved once... and the Roxas he'd known, the kind one who'd cleaned up his scraped knees or let him sleep in his bed when he had nightmares... That Roxas had to be in there somewhere...Didn't he?
And besides. He knew as well as anybody, that for Roxas to be here, things had to be seriously wrong. And for the brother that he knew, and loved, and missed more than anything, there was no way that he could turn him down.
"Well..." Sora murmured, watched as Roxas visibly steeled himself for rejection and for a moment wondered if he should. He could turn him down, curse him out or flip him off. Nobody would blame him. But the tightening of his already suffocating chest refused and had him trying his best to hesitantly smile. He wasn't sure if his lips moved at all, but the attempt was there. "...Come on in..."
Stepping back, Sora allowed Roxas entrance into his and Riku's dream house, his emotion roiling until he felt sick from them, not knowing that Roxas felt very much the same.
He felt like an intruder as he stepped across the pretty, stone, tiles. The house was clean, freakishly so, like those houses from magazines, only it somehow achieved this while feeling comfortably lived in. There wasn't a speck of dust on the curio cabinet, but there was an empty pizza box, lying abandoned on the kitchen counter. Delicately stepping his way into the kitchen, he moved over to the table, but didn't sit down. Wasn't sure if he should. Was he allowed?
"You can sit."
Roxas bit the inside of his lip, sliding into a shiny, wooden, chair. Sora sat down across from him, his expression unreadable, before he stood again.
"So...how was your trip?" He asked softly, hesitantly. "Um...was it long? You know, from...wherever you were coming from. Do you want something to eat? Or drink or something? I think we've got pizza around here somewhe-"
"No." he replied, cutting Sora off.
"I grabbed something about an hour out."
"Twilight Town." He replied, staring at his hands as he arranged them on the table.
The silence hung in the air like fog, neither man knowing what to say. What exactly did one say in this situation?
"So...how have you been?" Sora finally inquired, his eyes glued to his shoes. He hadn't sat back down, choosing to lean against the kitchen counter. "In Twilight Town."
"Pretty good...I guess...Until recently."
"Oh. That's good...Sort of..." Chewing on his lip slightly, Sora brought his eyes up to Roxas's, revealing the swirl of emotions there. The hurt and anxiety and fear. Majorily it was fear...Fear of saying the wrong thing. Of reminding Roxas why it was that he despised him so, of making him leave. It was hard having him here, but Sora wanted him to stay. Wanted it more than life itself. "Roxas...what happened? Why are you here? Why now?"
Roxas closed his eyes again, taking a deep breath, hia tongue tucked into his cheek, and was quiet for a moment before answering. "Sora...what did you do with the money?"
"From Mom and Dad."
Silence. Finally, Sora gestured around the kitchen, his arm making wide, sweeping movements. "This. The house. And some of it's in savings...it was a lot of money and I mean...the house wasn't that expensive..." His voice trailed off as he sensed himself beginning to ramble, silence reigning as the universe righted itself into awkward quiet. "Why?"
"I bought stocks. A company... Have you heard of Organization 13, it's a video game thing..."
"Yeah. Riku has a brother there or something-"
Sora stopped talking suddenly, freezing, dreading Roxas's reaction. He headn't meant to mention Riku, hoped to God that Roxas wouldn't flip out on him or something. Cautiously, he darted his eyes in the direction of the living room, where he knew Riku was sprawled on the couch in a T-shirt and boxers watching the news or something. He'd been so warm, Sora remembered his lips curling up, so cozy. So much more welcoming than the atmosphere here, and he was tempted- Very tempted- to just leave. To just walk in there and curl up next to him and forget about everything else.
When Roxas didn't immediately jump up and declare his rekindled hatred of him Sora blinked.
"That's a really big company...You own half of that?"
"The Reader Digest version is this: My girlfriend...my fiance, screwed me over. Siphoned money, sold off my stocks...Hell, I don't know how she did it but she took everything. My office, my credibility and my money. All of it. I've got..." He gestured a little helplessly, overwhelmed yet again by the enormity of his loss. "There's this suitcase, outside in my car. It's got some clothes and stuff. Shampoo and like...a razor. Thirty bucks...after gas getting down here...I had that in my wallet, she didn't get that but...That's it."
"That's..." Sora shook his head, staring down at his brother, without a clue what to say. What could you say? Part of him just wanted to hug him, had wanted to since he first laid eyes on him. That's what a younger Sora would have done, many years ago, to a younger Roxas. Now though...He didn't know.
His brother had owned a humongous video game company, had been ridiculously rich, had had a fiance! And Sora had never known. These were things that brothers were supposed to know. The fact that he hadn't...
"It-" Roxas started to answer, but he was cut off.
"What the fuck are you doing here?"
The words were cold and harsh, cutting through the air like a knife. Turning, Roxas found himself face-to-face with Riku.
Even in boxers and a T-shirt, the man still seemed threatening, intimidating. Like someone who could kick your ass, and he knew it. Especially the way he was glaring, his eyes these blade of green ice, spearing through Roxas again and again. There was more than just anger there, there was a hot, deep-burning, hatred in their depths. Because he had been the one find Sora after Roxas left. To see him crumble and dissolve in to tears. While he was shaking with distraught, broken, sobs because his brother didn't love him, Riku had been the one to bring him inside and hold him, whispering softly to him until he fell asleep. Holding his hand over the next few days as he put on various fake expressions, being there to support him where his brother had failed. He alone knew just how hurt Sora had been by this. Hated Roxas with a passion for putting Sora through that kind of pain. Sora was, sweet, and kind, and hadn't deserved it. Any of it and more than anything, he wanted to make Roxas pay.
"I'm talking to Sora." Roxas voice had grown hard too, and Sora couldn't help but feel that he was stuck in the middle here of whatever this was.
"You don't get to talk to Sora, you don't get to look at Sora. Get out."
"This is my fucking-"
"Riku." Sora interjected, his voice was weak, shaking slightly and he swallowed. "I've got this okay. I let him in just...Go back in the living room okay. Just...just go watch Tv. I'll..." His eyes were darting warily from Riku to Roxas in a way that only enraged Riku further.
"Go...please? I'll talk to you later okay."
He leaned in closer, his voice dropping to more intimate tones.
"And you're gonna be okay?"
"Yeah. Of course." He cracked a grin that they both knew he didn't feel.
"And if you aren't?"
"I'll call you. Promise."
Despite his anxiety, Sora didn't stop Riku from pressing a reassuring kiss on the corner of his mouth, running his hand down his arm to squeeze his hand before exiting the room. But he didn't bother trying to hide the scathing, warning, glare aimed in Roxas's direction on his way out. The message was clear: Hurt him again and you fucking die.
Sora's eyes followed Riku out before returning to the floor, unable to look up at Roxas. Not wanting to see the revulsion he was sure would be on his face. Hating that he could disgust Roxas so much with something that felt so...sweet. So warm and right. That made him so happy. I wasn't wrong, It wasn't!
"That hasn't changed you know", he said suddenly, challengingly. "I'm still with him. I still love him." Pause. "And we're both still men. That's still the same."
"I know. And I'm still against it." Sora blinked, seeming taken aback by the seriousness of his brother's voice. The flat honesty. Taking a deep breath in, letting it out through his nose, Roxas continued. "But it's your house and...his..." The word came out sounding as bitter as it tasted. "And I'm the one here...asking you for a favor. I won't say anything...bad."
"Roxas..." Sora ventured again, the challenging aspect gone. "I don't...I don't get what you're asking.. . I mean...You just show up out of the blue after five years and say you got screwed over. Fine but...what...What do you want from me?"
"I...I need a place to stay. Just for a little while...just until I get a job. I mean...I dunno when that'll be...or what even...I've been pretty much black listed from my old career field..." Sighing , Roxas rubbed his hand over his face once more. "Look...Sora. I know you have absolutely no reason to help me...but... "
Truth be told, he could probably make it for one night in a cheap hotel, Traverse Town wasn't extremely expensive. Not like the islands. But it as still only one day. Just one, before he'd be right back here, where he's started.
Sora frowned, watching Roxas scrub his hands over his face- a nervous gesture he'd had forever, hit with a viscous wave of nostalgia. A wave of both longing and indecision- The cresting of the wave of emotion he'd been riding since first opening the door. He wanted to yell and scream that Roxas couldn't stay here, in his house, with him and his boyfriend. That he couldn't intrude upon their happy life, glaring and judging and making him feel as if he was doing something bad. The other part wanted to cry and beg him not to do that anymore, to ask him why he didn't love him. And the last part just wanted to hug him, to tell him of course he could stay here. He belonged here with him, and that he'd do anything to help.
What happened, wasn't any of that really. He didn't yell or cry or smile or hug, never so much as mentioned words of love because really his emotions were too unstable for that anyways. Instead he just took a deep breath, and nodded.
"You can stay, for a while anyways. I'll talk to...Riku...about it. It'll be fine just, go get your suitcase. There's an extra room upstairs...Um...that way." He pointed. Nodding his thanks, Roxas turned, heading towards the door to where his car lay. Sora didn't move, leaning back against the counter. His head was down, but he watched Roxas leave from under his bangs. He looked so much taller now, than the boy who walked away five years ago, but the sight still filled him with a painful sense of dejavu.
"Roxas." He called. Stopping in the doorway, Roxas turned. Sora was still in that same position, hair covering his eyes, and Roxas couldn't help but think that he looked tired. "It was...good...to see you again."
Roxas nodded, before continuing on to his car.
As soon as Roxas was out of sight, Sora sighed, his entire body almost collapsing under the weight of unsuppressed emotions. His hands were shaking. Dragging an unsteady hand roughly through his hair, he practically pulled his head back, before turning and heading into the living room.
"So...Wanna fill me in?"
Sora jumped a little in surprise. Riku, as it turns out, hadn't gone backt o watch TV like a good little boy. Instead, he'd chosen to lean casually against the wall, suspiciously close to the door frame, where he could no doubt hear everything.
Sora nodded, before suddenly throwing himself at the other boy, burrying his face in the crook of his neck and just letting himself be held. Practically demanding that it was so. Not that Riku put up any resistance, mind you. Sora let out one last shaky sigh.
"Roxas is...he's having some trouble...It's really bad and...He's needs somewhere to stay, for just a little while...and-"
"Riku!" Sora pulled back, his face distraught, eyes pleading.
"I don't want him here! I hate the bastard!"
"He's not a..." It sucked, when you couldn't exactly defend your own brother... "He was nice today. Nice enough anyways and... And where else is he supposed to go? I'm the only family he has left."
"You were his only family then too, but that didn't seem to mean to him now did it?"
"Well, I already told him he could stay."
"Why would you do that?"
"Because I love him okay!"
Sora's lip was trembling, eyes wide and getting that glassy look. He sniffed, fighting to hold back his tears. He couldn't cry, not now. He had nowhere near the time it would take to clean himself up, before Roxas would be back from the car. Hell, he could be in the kitchen right now.
"Because even though he's a total bastard he's still my brother and...Maybe that doesn't mean much to him but it does to me and...And I used to think it did. Matter to him I mean and...he always acted like it did. He used to be really great you know and I guess...I guess I want that back."
"And if he's here and he's not yelling or anything than it's like, maybe I have a chance...Maybe I can get my brother back. Because I miss him and-"
He was cut off as Riku pulled him back tight agaist him, resting his chin in his hair. He sighed, his breath ruffling the soft, brown strands.
"You guys are the dictionary defenition of dysfunctional."
"True" Sora nodded, nuzzling his face firther into Riku's chest, savoring the feeling of those warm, strong arms around him. Holding him up for a few minutes so that he didn't have to. "But he's back. After all these years, he's here now."
"Because he wants something."
Sora stilled as the truth somewhat killed his happiness. It was just a bit though, because I wasn't like Riku was telling him some big secret. This wasn't a reunion born of lonliness and regret, he didn't come here because he missed him. He didn't even come back to be friends. It was just because he needed a place to stay, and there was a very good chance that he'd disappear again once his life was in order. Disappear and ignore Sora for another five years, or ten, or twenty. Go off and live his life surrounded by people who didn't disgust him...
"Doesn't he have friends? He can't possibly be that anti-"
"I don't know. How would I know that."
"So", Riku gave a long suffering sigh. "So I guess he's staying."
"I knew you'd see it my way." Sora replied, smiling, the first real smile Riku had seen since that morning. It had started off such a nice morning, too... They'd fallen asleep on the couch the night before, the TV rolling the credits of some movie they'd seen a million times, their limbs all entangled as they curled together under a blanket, all happy and warm. They'd woken that way too, and that had proved to be just as good. And then the doorbell had rang...
The memory of that morning was enough to make Riku smile too, but he cut it off sharply, his face taking on a more warning expression.
"But I swear to God, if he hurts you again, says or does even one little thing-"
"I know." Sora replied. "I love you too."
Reaching up, he pressed a quick kiss against his boyfriend's lips, eager to get at least one in before Roxas returned. Somehow, he swore, he'd find a way to prove to Roxas that this wasn't a bad thing. The way it felt when Riku kissed him back...there was no way it could be.
Okay guys, so I'm a little unsure about this fic. So you've gotta tell me...is it any good? I've gotta say, this is the first fic I've ever written where we weren't at least introduced to the two main characters I the first chapter. So no Axel yet. But don't worry! We'll all see our favorite redhead in the next chapter. Promise. Which is better than some fics I've read.
Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this! It was actually pretty fun to write...even if the content isn't exactly...cheery. How many of you hate Roxas now? If not, cool. If you do, cool :) My writing's good enough to make you hate him. I know after that flashback I really hated him. But alas, there is hope for young Roxas as our story progresses.
I know I made a friend of mine hate him in another fic of mine, Of Silence and Skittles. It's my Zemyx fic :) I'm almost done with chapter two of that so expect an upate there very soon.
Um so...That's all I've gotta say so... Bye bye! Thanks for reading!