Little Potato

Romano sighs, his eyebrows furrowing as he lets his fingers play with a little medicine bottle. He's sitting alone by the table, his breakfast plate is empty but the other one is barely touched, even though the food is absolutely delicious. This is simply wrong, he thinks, scowling. No one should be allowed to leave such a good food uneaten. Not to mention, to throw it up.

No, he's not worried. Not at all. It's just starting to get annoying, how Spain wakes up all cheerful every morning, cooks them a delicious breakfast which they eat together in a peaceful atmosphere, and then he runs off to the toilet to throw it all up.

He's not really worried but it is bothering him in a way and he wants his lover to be able to keep the food in. Otherwise, he's going to loose weight very soon and that would be a pity considering how nicely toned he is now.

Er... no, Romano didn't just think that.

"Phew, I feel a bit better now..." Spain walks in to the kitchen and smiles weakly, rubbing his eyes. He's pale and looks tired and Romano doesn't like that at all.

"I got you some medicine." he says grumpily, pushing the bottle towards his lover so he could see it clearly. "It's for the stomach. I don't want you to waste any more food."

"Oh..." Spain smiles widely, particularly beaming at him. But he's still not as enthusiastic as he usually would be about Romano showing signs of affection (which is, of course, only Spain's wishful thinking) and that bothers the Italian even more. "Romano, that's so sweet of you~!" he walks up to his boyfriend and leans down to give him a tight hug. "Thank you! But I'm afraid it's not going to help."

"What... what do you mean." Romano pushes him away and glares at him, offended. "I got the best one! It was expensive as hell so don't even think about it not working."

"Well, but it's just morning sickness... I know it always comes with pregnancy so there's nothing I can do about it."

"Don't be ridiculous, just take it and drink some herbs and..."

"What did you just say?"

"Which part?" Spain looks tired again and he sits down by the table, next to Romano, scowling at the basket lying in the middle of the table, as always full of deliciously red tomatoes. They usually don't survive a whole day so Romano brings fresh ones every morning. And Spain definitely shouldn't be scowling at them, he doesn't have any reason to. Something must be seriously wrong with him.

"The... p-p..." Romano stutters, blushes and coughs. "That's not really funny, you dumbass."

"But I'm not joking." Antonio pouts at him.

"Hey..." Romano is really worried now. For Spain's mental health, of course. "Stop it. You can't get pregnant, you idiot."

"Well, I am pregnant so I think I can..."

"Yeah, right. And how do you know you are pregnant?"

"I just do. That's obvious."

The conversation is getting ridiculous and Romano's head is starting to hurt.

"It's not fucking obvious to me! How could I possibly get you pregnant?"

"Oh... you don't know? How can I explain... you know, the babies don't really grow in cabbage patches..."

"I KNOW THAT, YOU STUPID JERK!" Romano feels his cheeks burning. "For fuck's sake, stop this fucking idiocy!"

Unfortunately, he doesn't get to swear any more because someone chooses the moment to knock at the door. Or rather - try to break the door.

"Who the hell..." Romano growls, annoyed to no end. What a way to screw up a nice morning, he'll have to properly thank Spain for that later. And maybe he'll thank the unfortunate surprise guest, too.

"Oh, it's just France and Prussia!" Spain announces happily and runs to the door, suddenly all about sunshine and butterflies. Romano suddenly thinks he's going to be sick as well and he wonders if in Spain's mind him also being pregnant would be the only reasonable explanation.

"Congratulatioooons!" a giant bouquet of flowers shouts as soon as Antonio opens the door, before Romano can stop him and block it with a wardrobe. The bouquet is soon put into Spain's hands, revealing his friends' grinning faces. "So what's the baby's name?" Prussia asks, letting himself in.

Oh no, Romano thinks. They're a part of this cruel conspiracy which apparently was set up with a purpose of driving him crazy.

"Oh, we didn't name it yet." Spain answers happily, obviously flattered and oblivious to his lover's growing distress. "It's only three weeks old, after all, we don't know the gender yet..."

"Yes, but you should make up a nickname~ oh?" it is then when France notices Romano and smiles at him, his blue eyes sparkling happily at how red the Italian's face is. "Congratulations to you, master of the fine art of reproduction! It's really difficult impregnate a nation... I'd tried that before I proposed to England. I'm sure if he was pregnant, he wouldn't refuse so easily... then again, good thing I didn't succeed."

All of sudden, Romano completely forgets to be annoyed.

"Are you saying... it's actually possible, with a male nation?" he asks slowly, not sure if he really wants to know the answer.

France raises his eyebrows at him.

"Do you even need to ask? We do have a living proof here, don't we?"

"Um... Romano doesn't really believe me." Spain speaks up softly. He looks troubled but he's still smiling and Romano still feels like strangling him, for so many reasons that he can't even remember even one of them at the moment. "I'll... look for a vase." he says and disappears in the kitchen, mercilessly letting Romano become a victim of his friends' evil glares.

"What do you mean, you don't believe him?" Prussia growls. "You get him pregnant and you don't believe it? That doesn't make any sense. Do you want me to knock some sense into you...?"

"Oh, sod off." Romano is too bothered by the whole thing to get scared now. Especially by that potato bastard's brother's empty threats. If it really is the truth... why didn't Spain tell him earlier? And when he finally tells him he does it in a way that makes the whole thing seem unimportant to him and completely unbelievable to Romano. While it definitely is important and it does seem believable now. "I didn't even know." he explains, scowling. "He didn't fucking tell me."

"Oh... he didn't?" France looks at him curiously.

"Not until right before you guys came."

"Oh really..."

Francis looks thoughtful, tapping his chin and examining the ceiling as if he could find any brilliant ideas up there, and Gilbert is busy glaring at Romano, apparently still considering using violence. Romano glares back; he just wants them gone so he can talk to Spain and make him explain. But it seems they don't have any intention to leave.

Suddenly, a soft sniffing is heard in the uncomfortable silence. Prussia and France look at each other and they immediately run to the kitchen. Romano, feeling confused - did Spain catch a cold? In the middle of summer? - follows them if only to make sure they don't break anything.

They find Spain leaning on the windowsill and... crying.

Spain... crying. Romano is completely dumbstruck.

Impossible.

It's the first time in his life he sees the man crying and... he doesn't even know what to think.

"Oh non... Antonio, please don't cry!" France runs up to him, patting him on his arm. "Everything is going to be okay, mon cher, believe me."

"What the hell..." Prussia seems just as surprised, and Romano feels thankful to him for once.

"It's the hormones, you insensitive jerk. That, and his lover apparently isn't responsible enough to accept the fact he'll soon become a father."

"WHAT...?" even though he's shocked, Romano isn't going to take insults from that idiot.

"You heard me right. Come on." France turns around to glare at him. "Cheer him up. It is your responsibility now. He's going to have horrible mood swings and let me remind you, you are the one who got him pregnant, so you are the one who should be there for him now."

"Y-yeah, he's right!" Prussia scowls at him.

Spain is still sniffling.

France and Prussia keep on glaring.

"Well? Do something!"

"Ch..." Romano gulps. Spain isn't looking at him; his eyes are fixed to the floor and it seems he's not entirely aware of the whole ruckus going on. But he's crying. He's crying, damn it.

"Make him feel better!"

"Are you really that much of a jerk?"

"Chi..."

Spain looks up, blinking the tears away, looking sad and confused and...

"CHIGIIII!" Romano screams, turns around and runs for his life, slamming the door behind him just in case.

There's a moment of a surprised silence, soon broken by Prussia.

"Wow. He's just as good at retreating as his brother. And here I thought he kinda seemed like the braver one."

"There are no brave men amongst the Italian." France feels it's the right moment to share one of the world greatet's wisdoms with his friends.

"You're wrong." Spain says, his voice trembling. Francis gives him a consoling smile and is just about to try to cheer him up, when Antonio wipes his tears away with his hand and looks at him with that look.

The one that means death. In the name of God.

"You upset him and you will pay for it. And it's going to be unpleasant."

"Um..." Gilbert seems worried. "Is that a mood swing again, or should we..."

"RUN!" France screams and does what could be a clumsy parody of Romano's retreat, dragging Prussia along.

"Ha." Anotnio grins to himself, feeling much, much better.

Seems like the French aren't as good at retreating as the Italian, but they don't let that stop them.

TBC

I wrote it some time ago (for the Hetalia kink meme), then dropped it. But I decided to continue now. Does anyone want me to, though? :)

Sorry for my English, still working to improve it!

Hope you liked it.

Oh, and can someone tell me why is ffnet eating the line breaks?