Kate is laughing at him.

This isn't an unusual occurrence in and of itself; Jacob has lost count of the times she's asked him if he's related to the old woman who lived in a shoe. He follows up by reminding her that the old woman had so many children she didn't know what to do, so would now be a good time for them to get started on that?

Kate usually goes quiet then.

Things are different, however, this time around. For starters, Jacob is stark naked. For another, he is currently laying on top of Kate in an expensive Parisian hotel suite, having just reached the climax of what he believed to be some pretty incredible sex.

Before he knows it, Jacob is powerless against the wave of insecurities that flood his consciousness. Was he not good? Did he do something wrong? Is he not…adequate… in certain…areas? Had she been playing him this entire time, just waiting to pull the rug out from under him? He had been so certain of Kate's sincerity when she told him she loved him.

Face burning and pride irreparably wounded, Jacob pushes himself off Kate, his entire being now focused on finding his pants and getting out of the room as soon as possible.

Jacob pulls them on and is working on his zipper when he hears her voice calling out to him, laughter still chasing the edges.

"Jacob."

The zipper goes up.

"Jacob, baby, please stop."

He buckles his belt.

"Jacob, please. I wasn't laughing at you…not really. I just-"

"Just what?"

His patience snaps along with the button on his shirt.

"Just-"

A sigh.

"Could you please take your socks off next time?"


Later that afternoon, failing to see a DO NOT DISTURB sign hanging from the door handle, a maid will enter a hotel room in order to clean as per her job description. Once inside, she will be quite shocked to discover the naked couple draped across the dining room table, not a giggle in the air or a sock in sight.


A/N: This was inspired by the fact that, in his younger days, Mark Pellegrino (Jacob) starred in what can only be termed a soft-core porn film, using the pseudonym Robert Rand. One scene from this film had been making its way around the internet, a certain scene in which Mr. Rand's socks are present throughout its entirety. This has prompted a gif, which lead some of us in the fandom to occasionally inquire of one another, "We've all got our socks on, yes?"